Friday, August 26, 2011

Karmic lessons learned

Have you ever had a strange epoch in your life? One where everything basically went okay, but life just didn't make any sense? You were kind of trapped in a waiting place. Nothing really happened. Bizarre crap just happened... one strange thing after another... randomly almost... At the end of the epoch it is all terribly hard to understand how or why things went this way?

I am exiting such an epoch in my professional career right now. It's been a pretty empty four year term. My career has been stalled for four years. I've been rusting and rusticating in Calabasas California since about June of 2007. My employment here has made little sense. More often than not, I have had little or nothing to do. At the same time, I have made close to a 6 figure salary. Well over that, if you consider benefits. At the same time, organizational politics have been quantum. Almost megachurch-like in their intrigue and intensity.

Lately, I have often sat back and marveled at how your author, the most a-political, anti-political technocrat God ever made, was ever brought into such an organization. It makes no sense. Perhaps if they had used me more, and I became a model of how a-political technoman can get things done, this would make more sense. Such is not the case. That explanation is not available.

Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, and Esoteric Astrology all have a common belief in reincarnation. A common pillar in their doctrines of reincarnation is the concept of the Akashic Record Library. Theosophy also cleaves to this doctrine. The concept is of an ethereal, extra-dimensional, super natural library, record vault, or super computer where all the deeds every done by all the souls who have ever lived are recorded. According to this doctrine, everything you have ever done in all of your many lifetimes, and everything I have ever done in all of my lifetimes, is recorded in the Akashic Record.

In most belief systems, the Akashic Record Library is the dwelling place of the 7 Masters of Destiny. These are benevolent souls who function as magistrates and judges. Their major role is to present a menu of Karmic lessons to each soul about to reincarnate. After studying the karmic deeds of these souls records in the Akashic Library, the 7 masters of destiny have a pretty good idea of what you have learned, and what you need to learn.

You might also think of them as college guidance counselors. They recommend professional choices and a course of classes to help you learn what you need to know. The whole objective is to get you to evolve and become better.

Like a college student choosing classes for this quarter or semester, you ultimately decide what karmic lessons you are going to study during this lifetime. You sign up for those classes. You sign up for those classes with fellow students who are traveling in similar directions, and need these course, or similar courses.

The concept common to all these religions is that groups of friendly souls--classmates of a sort--most of whom know each other from several or even many lifetimes gone by, meet together in the Akashic Record Library and hash-out life contracts with each other. You may agree to be my father, mother, brother, sister, cousin, etc. I may agree to be your father or your mother this time. You may agree to be my son or my daughter this time. Another may agree to be my wife. Another soul may agree to be my illicit lover during my midlife crisis. Some one else may agree to be the buddy who accidentally kills me on a hunting expedition, etc.

All of these contracts, all the challenges they represent, and all of these karmic lessons we are supposed to learn are agreed upon before we incarnate. The 7 Masters of Destiny review these contracts to make sure everything is in order, that the lessons are sufficient, and well chosen. If everything is in good order, the contracts are approved. If not, the contracts will be revised. When the contracts are done, off we go into the womb.

It's all terribly interesting food for thought. I like the fact that it makes us responsible for our own plights and messes in life. We agreed to learn these lessons. That is why we are here, where ever hear is. Of course, I like it is not a criteria of truth, so the fact that I like it doesn't make it true.

For the sake of argument, let us presume that this belief system is true. Consider the past four years of my life. Just what the hell was going on there? Just what the hell did I sign up for? What was I doing in this place? What karmic lessons was I supposed to be learning?

Perhaps I harvested a little good karma from the past without sewing much of anything for the future. It 'tis a scary thought.

I made some friends I hope to stay in contact with. Perhaps these are old and friendly souls I have known many times before. I made it through a good chunk of the Great Recession without interruptions in the pipeline. I got a couple of knee surgeries and a Gastric Bypass out of it. I have essentially fixed my body, and made ready for the second half of my life.

This presumes that the world does not end on 12/21/2012. It will be a short half in this case.

Still, I am hard pressed to identify karmic lessons I have learned. I can count some benefits, but benefits are not tantamount to karmic lessons. These are two different categories of things.

About the only thing I can think of are the following two things:
  1. The pitfalls of hiding your light under a bushel, and making scared choices. I am much more than what I have become, rusting in Calabasas. I have wasted years of professional and personal potential here. I need to be bolder and more aggressive and more fearless in my future professional choices. I need to chose wisely, but I need to chose boldly.
  2. The real pitfalls of workplace romances.
The second one is going to take some considerable unpacking.

Before coming to this company, and for years inside this company, I saw nothing wrong with workplace romances. I wouldn't personally strive for one, but I wouldn't be against one either. If it happened for me, or someone else, I would be perfectly happy.

Well... it's taken four quick years, but I get the feeling the ship is about to explode because of sexual politics. This is a pretty swingin' company. There have been many tales of intrigue in this firm. There are plenty of stories about bedroom antics in the high command. We have it from reputable authorities that these stories are true.

When you look at the intensity and bitterness of the politics inside this outfit, you have to scratch your head and wonder about just what is driving all of this high high-drama stupidity. Why the hell would any of these figures butt-heads to this massive extent about absolutely nothing? What drives their emotion?

You could say Satan finds work for idle hands to do, but I don't think so.

I think the personal battles I see in this organization are a product of scores of busted sexual liaisons. Nearly all of these liaisons failed, but they left behind a viper's nest of awkward entanglements, emotions, and personal agendas. The bigwigs fight like hell because of these things, not because of tech issues. The fights are about everything other than tech issues.

Kinda reminds me of the movie Reds (1981). The interpersonal sexual politics in that story were absolutely crazy.

We've finally reached a point recently where it is becoming impossible to function inside this firm. Many of our guys have active escape plans in progress. I am not the only one. Most of us just can't take it anymore.

Information is our business. Information technology is the cardio-vascular system of our organization. When the guardian-programmers of the system disappear, this firm is going to suffer a massive coronary.

In this location, I have witnessed the incompetence that comes from sexual promotions. I have witnessed the corruption of meritocracy that comes from sexual promotions. I have witnessed the jealous and angry reaction of the meritorious passed over for promotion because of sexual politics. I have witnessed the back-biting and recriminations this produces. I have witnessed brutal personal politics that interfere with ordinary work-days.

I myself have been severely upset by having incompetents placed over me. It is usually pretty tough to piss me off in this manner. I have a pretty high tolerance for stupidity. This is truly excruciating.

In most of the major firms I have worked in, this kind of thing didn't take place.; at least not with this frequency and this intensity. Yeah sure, the boss would get his son or daughter or girlfriend a job. They would have no real responsibilities unless they showed themselves capable. They could not get in the way of a functional machine. Such is not the case here.

In other places, a couple of low-level clerks might fall in love and get married. Everybody was happy for them. We threw them a party.

Yeah, sure, the boss would occasionally take up with a girl in the office. They kept it very quiet, and nothing overt took place in the workplace. This was an after-hours business only. Such is not the case here.

These bloody fools have sewn to the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind.

I am looking for my first serious break in management. If successful, I will be a single man, making good money, holding a good position, and a wielding a bit of power in a healthy organization. I will also have something like 15-17% body fat (pretty soon).

Put these things together, and any man, not just me, will become a serious target for acquisition. There are probably going to be office girls in that next workplace who will go after any guy fitting these criteria.

As a single man, it might be tough to say no. I am looking around for a wife, am I not? If I should meet an office girl who tickles my fancy, why shouldn't I go after her, or just let her win?

I'll tell you why not. The past four years of my life have been an object lesson in why not. Sex is a river of fire and when you unleash that volcano, there is no telling where the lava will flow. There is no telling how long it will erupt, how much greenhouse-gas will be released, how big the disruption will be, how much of the city will burn, and how much will be buried.

I take it that I have been sternly warned about the dangers and pitfalls that stem from workplace romances. If I don't learn that lesson vicariously, I am doomed to repeat it. If I don't guard myself closely, I could very well screw-up my big move into management.

Let's remember that this world is not a safe place.