When the bullet hits the bone in the twilight zone

It was a very eventful week in politics, and I am not talking about national or state politics. I’m talking about office politics.

It would appear that my little blog has been getting around the office. It would seem that this little blog has produced quite a stir in the high command. You might even want to describe it as material damage.

Some newcomers were added to the hierarchy our firm at the beginning of the year, and it seems that they are already frustrated by some of the dysfunction they have encountered around the organization in their short time here. One of their associates discovered my blog, loved it, and passed it on to his commanding officer (one of the new comers). Evidently, what he read here did more than raise an eyebrow or two.

It would seem that Coronal Ghadaffi is now under siege (or at least in danger of being attacked) by U.N forces who may be bent on ousting him. Ghadaffi may be the target of a hammer and anvil play in which two EVPs are playing the roles of hammer and anvil (one each, respectively).

They sent him URLs to the blog, and pressed him on some of the questions raised herein. According to all reports, the Coronal was deeply perturbed, angry and yelling at assorted folks total unassociated with me. He was mumbling to himself all day long.

A few hours pass, he collects himself, and decides to meet with our HR chief. He shows her the blog and asks her to discipline me. She reads the blog. She flat cold turns him down. She tells Ghadaffi that no names were mentioned, the company name was not used, and I (your author) am entitled to the same 1^st amendment publishing rights that any other American citizen has. The company can’t touch me. Ghadaffi argues with our HR chief for something over 45 minutes. She doesn't flinch. She flat cold turns him down.

I don’t think this verdict was the sole product of the 1^st Amendment. The truth is a defense. No matter where you go in the world, the truth is a defense.

One piece of advice they gave me in the Army: If you get hit in battle, don’t scream. If you scream, the enemy knows he hit you and you are wounded. Further, the enemy knows where you are. I must have hit him pretty close to the mark to get him all riled up like that. In fact, judging by the way he screamed, I would say the bullet hit the bone.

He must have been feeling pretty funny when he sat down to dinner that night. I was laughing like hell when I found out about it. Rumor has it that the Coronal would have liked to have fired me yesterday, but he just can’t do it. The last time he wrote a performance review of me, he gave me all 4s and 5s on a scale of 5. All the other guys know I am damn good programmer, and will vouch for me. Legally, it’s too risky to fire me outright.

Now the Coronal must deal with the fact that he has a schism with the HR department, in addition to the hammer and anvil play. He’s been damaged. Folks have noted that he’s been avoiding the office in the last couple of days, making himself scarce. He doesn't want to be around at the moment. Can’t say I blame him.

I want to set one fact straight: I don’t hate the Coronal. If you could magically look inside my heart, you be astounded by the depth of sympathy I have for the guy. I already went through my midlife crisis. I have already been middle-age crazy. I hated every goddamn second of it. I did many stupid and self-destructive things in the epoch between ages 37-40. Yes, it cut me down early, but there were rather terrible factors at play in my life during those years. There were reasons why I went early. I met my own devil woman in those days.

The problem is that Coronal has made a nearly fatal mistake in embracing his darling Condie. Almost every dude in the programmers pit is of the same opinion: We all believe he would be a hell of a good boss to work for if he were not under the spell of an evil woman. She’s got him so wrapped around her finger its horrifying. I mean literally horrifying. By all accounts, he was a hell of a guy until this devil-woman began destroying him.

Specifically, the notion of making her a little princess in the corp is an out-an-out catastrophe. The notion that she can run his programmer-group is absolute and complete bullshit. The woman has never written a line of automata code her entire life. How then can she understand what we do, or manage our process? Even the mere suggestion is pure drivel.

So deep is he in the madness of love that he can’t see why this was an error in judgment. Still, these are the kinds of disastrous mistakes in judgment we men make when we are middle-age crazy.

These are the kind of mistakes that make us vulnerable to hammer and anvil plays.

A word of free advice to the Coronal: Don’t shoot blanks at me; get rid of her. She is your vulnerability, not me. Long after I have moved on to my next position, she will continue to be a huge weakness in your armor (presuming the hammer and anvil play fails). It may hurt like hell to do it, but you gotta put her away. She is your ruination.

It hurt me like a sonofabitch to cut off my devil woman. I was depressed for nearly 2 years as a result of this event, but I knew this was the way it had to go. It is now five years later, and I am absolutely certain that I made the correct decision in those dark days. I know life would have gone very badly for me if I had gone any other way. The cutoff play was the only winning play. It felt like I was cutting off my own right arm, but I did it anyway.

Ad meanwhile, the blog has garnered me quite a bit of praise around the office. Several voices have accused me of being a little suicidal, but they are pleased to know that there is at least one guy in the office with a pair of brass balls. One strange comment held that I was factually accurate in everything I said, but wrong to have said it. I find that one hard to understand, but I appreciate the compliment on accuracy.

Karmic lessons learned

Have you ever had a strange epoch in your life? One where everything basically went okay, but life just didn't make any sense? You were kind of trapped in a waiting place. Nothing really happened. Bizarre crap just happened... one strange thing after another... randomly almost... At the end of the epoch it is all terribly hard to understand how or why things went this way?

I am exiting such an epoch in my professional career right now. It's been a pretty empty four year term. My career has been stalled for four years. I've been rusting and rusticating in Calabasas California since about June of 2007. My employment here has made little sense. More often than not, I have had little or nothing to do. At the same time, I have made close to a 6 figure salary. Well over that, if you consider benefits. At the same time, organizational politics have been quantum. Almost megachurch-like in their intrigue and intensity.

Lately, I have often sat back and marveled at how your author, the most a-political, anti-political technocrat God ever made, was ever brought into such an organization. It makes no sense. Perhaps if they had used me more, and I became a model of how a-political technoman can get things done, this would make more sense. Such is not the case. That explanation is not available.

Hinduism, Sikhism, Buddhism, and Esoteric Astrology all have a common belief in reincarnation. A common pillar in their doctrines of reincarnation is the concept of the Akashic Record Library. Theosophy also cleaves to this doctrine. The concept is of an ethereal, extra-dimensional, super natural library, record vault, or super computer where all the deeds every done by all the souls who have ever lived are recorded. According to this doctrine, everything you have ever done in all of your many lifetimes, and everything I have ever done in all of my lifetimes, is recorded in the Akashic Record.

In most belief systems, the Akashic Record Library is the dwelling place of the 7 Masters of Destiny. These are benevolent souls who function as magistrates and judges. Their major role is to present a menu of Karmic lessons to each soul about to reincarnate. After studying the karmic deeds of these souls records in the Akashic Library, the 7 masters of destiny have a pretty good idea of what you have learned, and what you need to learn.

You might also think of them as college guidance counselors. They recommend professional choices and a course of classes to help you learn what you need to know. The whole objective is to get you to evolve and become better.

Like a college student choosing classes for this quarter or semester, you ultimately decide what karmic lessons you are going to study during this lifetime. You sign up for those classes. You sign up for those classes with fellow students who are traveling in similar directions, and need these course, or similar courses.

The concept common to all these religions is that groups of friendly souls--classmates of a sort--most of whom know each other from several or even many lifetimes gone by, meet together in the Akashic Record Library and hash-out life contracts with each other. You may agree to be my father, mother, brother, sister, cousin, etc. I may agree to be your father or your mother this time. You may agree to be my son or my daughter this time. Another may agree to be my wife. Another soul may agree to be my illicit lover during my midlife crisis. Some one else may agree to be the buddy who accidentally kills me on a hunting expedition, etc.

All of these contracts, all the challenges they represent, and all of these karmic lessons we are supposed to learn are agreed upon before we incarnate. The 7 Masters of Destiny review these contracts to make sure everything is in order, that the lessons are sufficient, and well chosen. If everything is in good order, the contracts are approved. If not, the contracts will be revised. When the contracts are done, off we go into the womb.

It's all terribly interesting food for thought. I like the fact that it makes us responsible for our own plights and messes in life. We agreed to learn these lessons. That is why we are here, where ever hear is. Of course, I like it is not a criteria of truth, so the fact that I like it doesn't make it true.

For the sake of argument, let us presume that this belief system is true. Consider the past four years of my life. Just what the hell was going on there? Just what the hell did I sign up for? What was I doing in this place? What karmic lessons was I supposed to be learning?

Perhaps I harvested a little good karma from the past without sewing much of anything for the future. It 'tis a scary thought.

I made some friends I hope to stay in contact with. Perhaps these are old and friendly souls I have known many times before. I made it through a good chunk of the Great Recession without interruptions in the pipeline. I got a couple of knee surgeries and a Gastric Bypass out of it. I have essentially fixed my body, and made ready for the second half of my life.

This presumes that the world does not end on 12/21/2012. It will be a short half in this case.

Still, I am hard pressed to identify karmic lessons I have learned. I can count some benefits, but benefits are not tantamount to karmic lessons. These are two different categories of things.

About the only thing I can think of are the following two things:

1. The pitfalls of hiding your light under a bushel, and making scared choices. I am much more than what I have become, rusting in Calabasas. I have wasted years of professional and personal potential here. I need to be bolder and more aggressive and more fearless in my future professional choices. I need to chose wisely, but I need to chose boldly.
2. The real pitfalls of workplace romances.

The second one is going to take some considerable unpacking.

Before coming to this company, and for years inside this company, I saw nothing wrong with workplace romances. I wouldn't personally strive for one, but I wouldn't be against one either. If it happened for me, or someone else, I would be perfectly happy.

Well... it's taken four quick years, but I get the feeling the ship is about to explode because of sexual politics. This is a pretty swingin' company. There have been many tales of intrigue in this firm. There are plenty of stories about bedroom antics in the high command. We have it from reputable authorities that these stories are true.

When you look at the intensity and bitterness of the politics inside this outfit, you have to scratch your head and wonder about just what is driving all of this high high-drama stupidity. Why the hell would any of these figures butt-heads to this massive extent about absolutely nothing? What drives their emotion?

You could say Satan finds work for idle hands to do, but I don't think so.

I think the personal battles I see in this organization are a product of scores of busted sexual liaisons. Nearly all of these liaisons failed, but they left behind a viper's nest of awkward entanglements, emotions, and personal agendas. The bigwigs fight like hell because of these things, not because of tech issues. The fights are about everything other than tech issues.

Kinda reminds me of the movie Reds (1981). The interpersonal sexual politics in that story were absolutely crazy.

We've finally reached a point recently where it is becoming impossible to function inside this firm. Many of our guys have active escape plans in progress. I am not the only one. Most of us just can't take it anymore.

Information is our business. Information technology is the cardio-vascular system of our organization. When the guardian-programmers of the system disappear, this firm is going to suffer a massive coronary.

In this location, I have witnessed the incompetence that comes from sexual promotions. I have witnessed the corruption of meritocracy that comes from sexual promotions. I have witnessed the jealous and angry reaction of the meritorious passed over for promotion because of sexual politics. I have witnessed the back-biting and recriminations this produces. I have witnessed brutal personal politics that interfere with ordinary work-days.

I myself have been severely upset by having incompetents placed over me. It is usually pretty tough to piss me off in this manner. I have a pretty high tolerance for stupidity. This is truly excruciating.

In most of the major firms I have worked in, this kind of thing didn't take place.; at least not with this frequency and this intensity. Yeah sure, the boss would get his son or daughter or girlfriend a job. They would have no real responsibilities unless they showed themselves capable. They could not get in the way of a functional machine. Such is not the case here.

In other places, a couple of low-level clerks might fall in love and get married. Everybody was happy for them. We threw them a party.

Yeah, sure, the boss would occasionally take up with a girl in the office. They kept it very quiet, and nothing overt took place in the workplace. This was an after-hours business only. Such is not the case here.

These bloody fools have sewn to the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind.

I am looking for my first serious break in management. If successful, I will be a single man, making good money, holding a good position, and a wielding a bit of power in a healthy organization. I will also have something like 15-17% body fat (pretty soon).

Put these things together, and any man, not just me, will become a serious target for acquisition. There are probably going to be office girls in that next workplace who will go after any guy fitting these criteria.

As a single man, it might be tough to say no. I am looking around for a wife, am I not? If I should meet an office girl who tickles my fancy, why shouldn't I go after her, or just let her win?

I'll tell you why not. The past four years of my life have been an object lesson in why not. Sex is a river of fire and when you unleash that volcano, there is no telling where the lava will flow. There is no telling how long it will erupt, how much greenhouse-gas will be released, how big the disruption will be, how much of the city will burn, and how much will be buried.

I take it that I have been sternly warned about the dangers and pitfalls that stem from workplace romances. If I don't learn that lesson vicariously, I am doomed to repeat it. If I don't guard myself closely, I could very well screw-up my big move into management.

Let's remember that this world is not a safe place.

Bad things gentlemen, bad things...

I just finished a couple of conversation with several of my coworkers. Bad politics are afoot at work. Bad sexual politics, it would appear.

Ever had the feeling that you are coming to the end of a run with a company? Things have run their course and the firm is going in a direction you just don't want to go with them? I've been having an assortment of feelings like that for about 6 months now.

I could spell it all out in a great deal of detail, but this would be unwise, especially when it is largely unnecessary to my future plans.

Sometime between 7/2/2011 and 7/8/2011 I should reach my target weight of 230 pounds. At that time, it will be possible for me to put on a nice looking custom-tailored suit, and tuck a nice alligator bag under my shoulder. With my hair nicely styled and moused in place, I should be able to win a political beauty contest.

Make no mistake folks, sexual politics are involved in both hiring and promotion decisions. They may be suppressed to the level of subconscious mind--or maybe not--but sexual politics are always there. To knock-down a nice new job with a nice new promotion, you better have your sexual charisma working for you.

Few companies are run by altruistic Virgos who wish to make decisions on a purely logical and optimal basis, setting aside all unnecessaries. Many companies are owned by lusty lovers of life who wish to grip it an rip it. They do allow their passions and personal preferences to interfere with their decision making. The lust of the flesh, the passion of the heart, the desire of the eyes have a great deal of power in Corporate America.

I recently heard Rich Eisen say that he would select Blaine Gabbert because he is "dreamy". I don't think Eisen himself would dream of Gabbert, but I know a shrewed owner like Sonny Werblin would take this into consideration. Werblin would use that in his marketing plan, were he alive today. He sure as hell did with Joe Namath. You are a fool if you think 3 or 4 NFL marketing departments haven't run projections on potential earnings from the girl market if they select Gabbert in this draft.

This may be one reason Mike Shanahan is currently jiggling his connections with John Elway and Pat Bowlen in an attempt to acquire the #2 pick and select Blaine Gabbert. But then again, Mike is a Virgo. He should make logical an optimal decisions.

But I digress...

Firms hiring programmers aren't always happy to select the super-genius who owns just two T-Shirts... both replete with boogers. No, they would like a guy who is articulate and well polished, a dude they can set before a potential customer or client; a guy who will impress the MBAs with his demeanor.

Of course, such a life change will probably mean that I can no longer wear one of my 62 NFL jerseys each day, and every day in a seemingly endless rotation... Alas, we cannot have everything in life. You take the good with the bad in life. If I want a nice promotion in safe harbor I will have to accept the downside of more professional dress.

Knowing this, I would be a fool to make a premature move. I need to stay the course till the weight loss program has hit target goals. At this point, a launch window will open, and I should be able to find safe harbor somewhere else. With the right Cancer or Capricorn in the boss's seat, I am bound to impress. Cancer and Capricorn bosses usually (but not always) love me. The feeling is usually mutual.

I guess the real question is this: just how far am I willing to move to secure that safe harbor? Would I be willing to leave Los Angeles? Would I be willing to move to San Francisco? Would I be willing to blow out of California altogether and move to a place like Phoenix, Los Vegas or Austin?

I have family members in San Francisco, and Miami. I have always fancied Miami. Maybe I should give it some serious thought.