Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bad things gentlemen, bad things...

I just finished a couple of conversation with several of my coworkers. Bad politics are afoot at work. Bad sexual politics, it would appear.

Ever had the feeling that you are coming to the end of a run with a company? Things have run their course and the firm is going in a direction you just don't want to go with them? I've been having an assortment of feelings like that for about 6 months now.

I could spell it all out in a great deal of detail, but this would be unwise, especially when it is largely unnecessary to my future plans.

Sometime between 7/2/2011 and 7/8/2011 I should reach my target weight of 230 pounds. At that time, it will be possible for me to put on a nice looking custom-tailored suit, and tuck a nice alligator bag under my shoulder. With my hair nicely styled and moused in place, I should be able to win a political beauty contest.

Make no mistake folks, sexual politics are involved in both hiring and promotion decisions. They may be suppressed to the level of subconscious mind--or maybe not--but sexual politics are always there. To knock-down a nice new job with a nice new promotion, you better have your sexual charisma working for you.

Few companies are run by altruistic Virgos who wish to make decisions on a purely logical and optimal basis, setting aside all unnecessaries. Many companies are owned by lusty lovers of life who wish to grip it an rip it. They do allow their passions and personal preferences to interfere with their decision making. The lust of the flesh, the passion of the heart, the desire of the eyes have a great deal of power in Corporate America.

I recently heard Rich Eisen say that he would select Blaine Gabbert because he is "dreamy". I don't think Eisen himself would dream of Gabbert, but I know a shrewed owner like Sonny Werblin would take this into consideration. Werblin would use that in his marketing plan, were he alive today. He sure as hell did with Joe Namath. You are a fool if you think 3 or 4 NFL marketing departments haven't run projections on potential earnings from the girl market if they select Gabbert in this draft.

This may be one reason Mike Shanahan is currently jiggling his connections with John Elway and Pat Bowlen in an attempt to acquire the #2 pick and select Blaine Gabbert. But then again, Mike is a Virgo. He should make logical an optimal decisions.

But I digress...

Firms hiring programmers aren't always happy to select the super-genius who owns just two T-Shirts... both replete with boogers. No, they would like a guy who is articulate and well polished, a dude they can set before a potential customer or client; a guy who will impress the MBAs with his demeanor.

Of course, such a life change will probably mean that I can no longer wear one of my 62 NFL jerseys each day, and every day in a seemingly endless rotation... Alas, we cannot have everything in life. You take the good with the bad in life. If I want a nice promotion in safe harbor I will have to accept the downside of more professional dress.

Knowing this, I would be a fool to make a premature move. I need to stay the course till the weight loss program has hit target goals. At this point, a launch window will open, and I should be able to find safe harbor somewhere else. With the right Cancer or Capricorn in the boss's seat, I am bound to impress. Cancer and Capricorn bosses usually (but not always) love me. The feeling is usually mutual.

I guess the real question is this: just how far am I willing to move to secure that safe harbor? Would I be willing to leave Los Angeles? Would I be willing to move to San Francisco? Would I be willing to blow out of California altogether and move to a place like Phoenix, Los Vegas or Austin?

I have family members in San Francisco, and Miami. I have always fancied Miami. Maybe I should give it some serious thought.