Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Results of the Meeting

Intro

So I just returned from my (hopefully) first meeting with Colin’s sister in law, Caroline. What were the results of this meeting? Simple and complicated. In a single word: Indecisive. No conclusion was reached. However, I think this was a starting point, not an ending point. This is not too difficult to understand, if you happen to be a Virgo guy.

What happened?

The birthday party took place at Shakey’s Pizza in Culver City, not far from the NFL Network. It was very well attended. There were probably 30-35 people there. We occupied many tables. Not precisely an intimate gathering at home.

I got a look at her. She got a look at me. We were introduced by Valerie. She scampered off to sit with a group of girls. I sat down with her dad and Colin’s dad, and we had one hell of a conversation about the economic meltdown of 2008, Inside Job, and politics in California. As you well know, I absolutely did not want to discuss the NFL Draft.

There was a surveillance operation going on both sides of the fence. She was observing me, and I was observing her. We did not converse. At the end of the party we shook hands and said “It was a pleasure meeting you”.

We will see what happens next.

That’s all?

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking this was a complete failure and disaster. If you are a fire/air type, you are fundamentally biased to think that. You guys are aggressive, impulsive, and have fast-lite ignition switches. Earth people ain’t like that. Virgo and Capricorn are especially not like that. Taurus is a little more like that, but still not like that.

How would I interpret these events?

  • I got every impression that she knew why I was there. Valerie gave her a full briefing. Conversely, I know she showed up anyhow, and was willing to be introduced.
  • There was no thunderbolt of love at first site.
  • I got a shy and even fearful vibe off her. She was not prepared to engage in a 2 hour “getting to know you” conversation just yet. I totally get that. I am exactly the same way. How can you be any other way in these situations?
  • I did not get the impression that she is a generally fearful and shy woman. On the contrary, I got the impression that she’s pretty damn bold… about everything else in the world besides a potential suitor.
  • She was cautiously evaluating me, even as I was cautiously evaluating her.
  • Caroline maintained a poker face and played her cards close to the vest. As the Star Goddess says, Capricorn women are difficult to read because they maintain a stony face. It is often hard for a man to discern whether she likes him or hates him. She often won’t show either case.
  • I never got a hard negative vibe from her.
  • I think she did not reach a decision. She collected information and has taken it under advisement.
  • I don’t think she will be hasty in making a decision either.
  • I am sure she will ask her dad for details about our conversation, and his impression of me.
  • Was there any chemistry? On my side I can tell you I liked the way she looks. She has a beautiful face. She has a very characteristic French Capricorn look, and that looks plenty good to me.
  • I will have to ask for some feedback from Valery to see if Carolina liked the way I look.
  • If we had had a conversation, I could tell you more.
  • I got along great with her dad. This is as it should be. His birthday was two days ago. He is a Taurus.

I’m pretty sure I understand what she was up to. This was a mirror operation occurring on both sides of the Atlantic. I got every impression I was dealing with a personality similar to mine.

Earth people are cautious, conservative, discrete, never impulsive or reckless. We don’t gamble and we don’t throw caution to the wind. We play our cards close to the vest. We like to cautiously observe, evaluate, go home, think about it, and make a decision about having a second look. We’ll take a second look, and maybe a third.

Sometime this evening, after carefully consideration, she will decide whether she liked her first look or not. She’ll decide whether she wants a second look.

You know what? Her approach suited me just fine. This is precisely what I wanted to do at this event. It didn’t take me too long to decide afterward. About 20 minutes after driving away, I decided I would like a second look. I would like to see if anything more develops in the second round.

If something big comes out of this meeting, it will take considerable time to develop. We are not hasty people. You make a decision only when you feel you have sufficient facts and information to make a solid decision with reasonable certainty. You don’t take any longer than necessary to make a decision, but you don’t skip steps or take short-cuts. That’s how mistakes happen.

If you think that’s anti-romantic, you simply lack understanding. Earth people are petty sensitive. When we get hurt, we really get hurt. The damage is profound, and it takes years to recover. Caution is a defense mechanism. Why do we get hurt? Because we get really, truly, madly, deeply involved. When we decide, we really decide.

I get it. Trust me, I understand this approach completely.

Conclusions

I have to say, this was an intriguing exercise this afternoon. Several things I have been told about Capricorn-Virgo meeting/courtship were very evident this afternoon. This is a good thing. Predictability permits good and careful planning. You like that if you are earth people.





Editors note: I am not worried about the claws.

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Mallett-6?

Most of us caught an ESPN production called the Brady-6 this draft season. It was about the 6 busts drafted ahead of Tom Brady in the 2000 draft. The Patriots terminated Brady's slide and the rest is history.

For a completely different set of reasons, Ryan Mallett fell out of the top 15 zone all the way down to the #74 pick in the 2011 draft. The Patriots terminated Mallett's slide. 6 guys were drafted ahead of Ryan Mallett in this 2011 draft. There are already some speculations about whether history is repeating itself.

Certainly, all 6 of these QBs could go bust. I doubt it, but it could happen. Guys like Christian Ponder and Andy Dalton would have to become medical busts for that to happen. Jake Locker would have to washout. Certainly a significant number of the guys drafted ahead of Mallett will go bust.

Mallett could get cut at any moment if he lapses back into drug use. Bellichick won't put up with it. Yes, Mallett is a prime suspect in the 2011 bust sweep-stakes.

We shall have to see.

As we all know, Bellichick hasn't won a single game in the playoffs since he got caught cheating back in 2007. Since then, his Patriots are 0-3 in the playoffs. Perhaps they can win a playoff game with Mallett at the QB.

Call me foolish, call me irresponsible, but Brady just hasn't been the same since Justin Bieber cut his balls off in public. I think Bellichick senses this castration and feels the time is now to begin preparing Brady's replacement.

Rich, I know you worship and Brady's asshole, but you can stick a fork in, coz he's done.

So tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow is Valerie's birthday party. Valerie is my best-buddy Colin's Wife. Valerie happens to have a sister. This sister is about 30-31, born 12/27 either in 1979 or 1980. This makes her a Capricorn. As you know I am a Virgo. Obtaining the precise year is an important objective for our first meeting.

Problem is I don't even know her name. Colin has been withholding all of this information, insisting this must but obtained in idle chit-chat. He's a schemer, that one.

I am banking on 1979. If the year is 1979, the natal synastry is tremendous. A pack of 200s with very nice balance. If the year is 1980, it's another story entirely. The scores are generally good, but there is no romance. We would make great business partners, but not paramours. We would be well advised to start a software firm together, though.

Did I mention she had a degree in Computer Science and does something Computer Science related in her profession? I should have. Colin is not precisely sure just precisely what she does for a living, but he says it is in CompSci. He never inquired about specifics. As a non-computer savvy guy, he probably wouldn't comprehend her response very well if he ever did ask her for specifics.

I have yet to find a Capricorn with whom I have wretched scores. In all the test data I have generated, between 1966 and 1995, I have never found a wretched set of Capricorn score versus me. I may not have great romance scores with most Capricorns, but the scores are always generally favorable. Similarity of interest, pleasantness and peace, joint problem solving, communication, mutual success all look pretty respectable in most cases.

The Pre-Season begins for me tomorrow.

I am not prepared to enter the meat market in any serious way. I am not done with my physical transformation just yet. I have lost approximately 20% of my body mass, meaning I am 66% of the way to the goal. Of course, this means I have another 10% of my former mass to lose, or 34% of this voyage left to go.

Nevertheless, Pre-Season begins tomorrow. Let's say that I am going to dip my toe in the pool this Spring, but it is too cold yet to go for a swim. When summer arrives, I'll be ready to jump in the pool.

Devaney is lucky I don't own a gun. I'd shoot him.

So, I going to spit this out real quick and that will be the very last I have to say about the subject. I'm not going to have anything to say about the Rams for a good long time after this.

So when the 47th pick comes up, we have a gift from God awaiting us. Greg Little, the good prospect among the several character guys coming out UNC, is still waiting on the board for us. Guess what? We select yet-another tight end nobody in Lance Kendrick. Greg Little is selected by Mike Holmgren at pick 59.

Good people of Cleveland, I hope you appreciate the great and good stewardship you are receiving from Mike Holmgren. He will have you in the playoffs shortly.

So when our 78th pick comes up, we have another gift from God staring us in face. Leonard Hankerson is there for us, just as CBS Sports projected. Naturally, both ESPN and NFL Network cut to commercial during this pick. Nobody wants to see what the Rams are doing in this draft.

When we get the news, the selection is Austin Pettis. The NFL Network's enthusiasm for the pick was underwhelming to say the very least. The guys on the NFL Network had nothing positive to say about this. The NFL.com website suggests that Pettis may compete for the #3 receiver spot on the team. So Pettis may compete for the #3 spot on the worst receiver corp in the NFL.

That's just fucking great.

The Redskins immediately pull Hankerson. They probably couldn't believe their great luck. The moment the Redskins select Hankerson, the NFL network crew did have words of praise for Hankerson. Mayock again cautioned about Hankerson's drops, but there can be little doubt that there was much greater enthusiasm for Hankerson than Pettis.

Stick a fork in folks. It's over now. The talent falls off hyperbolically from this point on, and we didn't get much of anything in the first three rounds.

Maybe the 49ers will win the NFC West in 2011... the horror...

I honestly have no clue what Devaney was thinking. This man's thought process totally escapes me. How he put this board together I will never understand.

This is a discrediting draft. If I didn't know better, I would say Devaney was selecting just to spite me. Of course, the real truth is that the Irish Pisces just had too much to drink.

Why I didn't like that pick last night

So I got a text message from a disappointed buddy this morning. He said he checked my blog around midnight and wanted to know why I didn't like the selection of Robert Quinn. I really don't want to waste time writing about this draft anymore, but since this came from a buddy of mine, I'll spell out my reasons.

Setting aside the fact that Quinn is what Mayock would called "a character guy", forgetting the medical red-flag for a brain tumor, setting aside that many team doctors in the NFL did not clear him to play, throwing out the fact that he did not play in his junior year due to NCAA suspension, dismissing the fact that we effectively drafted a sophomore, tossing out the fact that this is 265 pound defensive end who only benched 225 22 times, and setting aside the fact that defensive end was not a position of need for the Rams...

There's absolutely nothing wrong with this pick. It's a fucking great pick...

But then we would still have to deal with the Mike Pouncy thing. Perhaps it would help if we laid down the first precepts of drafting to ensure that we come to a right conclusion on this matter:
  1. You never gamble.
  2. You don't take risks in this game
  3. You draft blue-chippers.
  4. You take can't-miss sure shots whenever you can find them
  5. You fill needs
  6. You don't draft at strength positions when you have needs that must be filled
  7. Did I mention that this is not a fucking Mississippi river boat?
  8. Did I mention we don't gamble in this game?
  9. Did I mention that we select sure-shot blue-chippers where ever they present themselves?
  10. I hope I didn't forget to mention that you fill needs with you picks.
Now given these 10 absolute cardinal maxims, let me ask you the following question: You have a blue-chip, sure-shot, no-risk kid on the board who fills a need. You also have a medical red-flag character guy on the board who does not fill a need. Which one of these two kids do you select?

If you're Devaney and Spagnuolo you take the medical red flag character guy who doesn't fill a need.

Mike Pouncy was the sure-shot, no-risk, can't miss kid who filled a position of great need. Robert Quinn was the medical red-flag character guy who plays at position of strength for the Rams.

"Oh but we had him higher on our board than Mike Pouncey"

Well then, you were just absolutely and completely wrong weren't you now? I mean 100% wrong with a 100% chance of being 100% wrong and a 0% chance being even 1% right. That's like saying 2+2=9. It just ain't so.

"Oh but the whole league had Quinn rated at #6 in this draft."

Well then this would indicate that the whole league fucked up then, now doesn't it? I don't care if 300 people tell me 2+2=9. This just ain't so. This would only indicate that 300 people are wrong. I am still right when I say 2+2=4. This is not a democracy people, there is a straight up and down logical decision here.

Let's face the facts folks: This is a Steve Spagnuolo special. I am sure he was just in love with this kid, seeing a potential Justin Tuck there. He was just enamored with the sex-appeal of a killer pass rusher and he took leave of his senses. I am sure he talked Devaney into it. Since our board was absolutely decimated by the 13 picks ahead of us, Devaney allowed it.

If I was Stan Kroenke, there would be a whole lot of ass-chewing going on this morning. The 'ole F. Dick meat clever would make it's appearance again.


Thursday, April 28, 2011

I don't know why I waste my time...

Well, I am going to have to quit my job as volunteer scout for the Rams. For the second year in a row Devaney has pissed me off to no end with his top selection. Let's hope the results are as good this year as last.

Nevertheless, I am well beyond livid with this pick. I would never have made this choice. I would never have selected D-line over O-line. Quinn was in my no-fly zone. I didn't even bother to mention him because I thought he was well out of the question.

Jesus Christ... What the hell is going on out there?

It seems that everybody else in the league agrees with my assessment of things except Billy Devaney. I have already seen the league side with me, against the experts, on several key choices in this draft. I guess no man is a prophet in his own country and among his own kinsmen.

Did you happen to notice that the Dolphins immediately snapped up Mike Pouncey?

I'm pissed beyond livid. Straight up: We fucked up. I quit. I give up.

I just had a weird experience

So, I left the apartment at 3:45pm to walk down to the local car wash, detailing joint at the corner of Topanga and Vanowen. My car was ready. I purchased a nice $150 detailing job. After nearly two years of constant the use, the vehicle needed some TLC.

Incidentally, I am being introduced to Colin's sister in law this Saturday. On the off-chance that the two us might want to go somewhere or do something, I wanted my car to look nice.

So, I am walking down Vanowen and a Mexican chick in a Toyota Prius starts honking like crazy. I look over there to see if an accident was narrowly averted. Nope, she's waving her hand. "Oh she's seen somebody she knows" I immediately conclude. I continue walking. She honks again. I look over in her direction again. She points at me.

Now I just happen to be wearing my Sam Bradford #8 jersey on this draft day. Call it a good luck charm. I immediately conclude she is a Ram-fan. She drives past me waving, smiling and saying "hi." The girl is maybe 29 or 30.

A few minutes later I am questioning whether she was honking and waiving because she was a Ram-fan. Nah, that would be fucking stupid. Forget that nonsense.

I just hit 265.8 last night folks. I look very different. I have shed 64.2 pounds and counting. I have reduced my body mass almost 20%. I am nearly 65% of the way to home-plate.

Weird things are starting to happen to me these days, but this is just preposterous. I can remember female comedians cracking jokes in the 1980s about guys honking at girls. They were absolutely clear that women never do that. They were correct, right? The fact is that women never do that. It is particularly preposterous given the fact that I am at least 15 years older than that girl.

Remind me to tell you about the funny conversation my lady barber had with her buddy while she cut my hair last Monday night. They didn't think I spoke or understood Spanish well enough to track their conversation. In short, the buddy said "I think you just found your new novio". They were pretty giggly.

Also remind me to tell you about the "Win a date with a software developer" contest my MIS/IT department ran as cancer fund-raiser. I thought they were going to make $2 bucks on that fund raiser: one from each of the two girls who thought up the idea. They hauled down $198 at $1 per lotto ticket. You aught to see the no-prizes in my IT group. I was utterly stunned.

Incidentally, I am supposed to take girl named Emily out to lunch next week because of this contest. They funny thing is that Emily shares an office with that May 10 Taurus I have admired for some two years.

Weird things gentlemen... weird things.

Almost draft time folks

Everybody wants to move down

Right now everyone is buzzing about the fact that Broncos, Bengals, Cardinals and 49ers have all made phone calls suggesting their picks are for sale. According to Jason La Canfora these guys want to move down. You can read about it here.

Mine is not to question why, mine is but to profiteer on their dismay.

Folks, it looks like Billy Devaney will have no shortage of trading partners with whom he can work a deal. It looks like our picks may be in demand by teams higher up. We could get a nice reduction if pick-point costs if all these cats get into a reverse bidding war.

This is very, very good news. I am more confident now than ever that we will nail one of the top 2 prospects at the wide receiver position. I am fired up, optimistic, and expecting more good news.

Did you catch No Huddle on the NFL Network last night?

If you did, you saw not one but three former Rams talking about Wide Receivers. This was no co-inky-dink I am sure. The league knows that Ram-fans are more interested in the receiver class this year than any other fan-base in the nation. They knew damn well we would love to hear our guys take on the receiver class.


There was a pretty strong agreement there that A.J. is #1 on the board. Both Kurt and Torry said terribly flattering things about A.J. So did Moochie.

Only super-scout (and former Ram safety) Corey Chavous gave a small caveat in his endorsement. Although he endorsed A.J., he focused on the mental and physical toughness of Julio Jones. A.J. has missed some time with minor injuries (not much) while Julio has played straight through such trifling pain. Of course, this made everyone recall Julio's massive combine performance on a broken foot.

I don't know... maybe I am little too obsessed with A.J. Julio is the very best pieces of Anquan Bolden and Terrell Owens, with none of the negatives. That's one hell of a statement, but I think Julio can back it up. When you think about how physical and tough he is, we just can't go wrong with Julio Jones.

It's like I have said many times: Heads we win, tales we win. Both of these guys are winners. If we get either one of them we are fine.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A serious contingency plan for the Rams... if worse comes to worse.



Let's suppose the Cardinals won't deal us the #5 pick unless we give them our #1 in 2011 and 2012. I agree with Billy Devaney, we shouldn't give up that #1 in 2012. That's just too much to ask. We don't know what the 2012 crop will look like just yet. We could be kicking ourselves from here until kindom come if we toss 2012 and it is a bumper crop.

Let's also suppose that Julio Jones goes at #6 to the Cleveland Browns, making a potential deal with the Cowboys pointless. Of course, this will really piss me off, but this scenario just might unfold tomorrow.

What do we do then? Roll over and die? I have a pretty serious proposition for this worst case scenario. How about this:
  • Select Mike Pouncey with the #14 pick.
  • Immediately contact Bill Bellichick and begin negotiations for Pick #28. The Patriots have already said that they are interested in negotiating with that pick. All sources indicate that this pick has a "For Sale" sign hung on it.
  • The #28 pick has a theoretical value of 660 points. We'll offer them the 47th pick (430 points) and the 78th pick (200 points). This has a combined value of 630 points. Let's see if he'll take a haircut of 30 points. If he won't, then offer up the 145 pick, which has a value of 33.5 points. This shorts us by 3.5 point, but we can handle that.
  • Bellichick will probably be looking for future picks. I would consider it, but don't give him the farm.
  • With the 28th pick the Rams should select Greg Little, WR from North Carolina (UNC).

Some will complain that 28 is a tad rich for Greg Little. It looks like a reach. Granted, but not much of a reach. Right now, he looks like he's going bottom of the 1st top of 2nd. 28 is close enough to the bottom for my pain threshold. Let's remember that this is the hypothetical worst case scenario. Getting Greg Little is better than getting nothing, or Jonathan Baldwin.

I know Mike Mayock projected Greg Little as a middle 2nd rounder, which would be perfect for us at 47, but I assure you that the sea tides have changed. It does not look like the original projection is going to work out. Little is moving up.

If we were to work out this scenario, we would exit the draft with a blue-chip guard that we can plug in between Jason Brown and Roger Saffold. Brown, Pouncy and Saffold would make a formitable left side of the line. We would also have a potential star wide receiver, although he is a tad risky.

Essentially, we plug one hole at offensive guard, which is a serious need, and another hole at wide receiver, which is a crisis need. I don't like the fact that we plug the crisis hole with a somewhat risky choice, but you just can't have everything inside the worst case scenario.

Effectively, we would acquire two solid helpers for Sam Bradford and Steve Jackson. Steve will run better, and Sam will get sacked less. Sam will also have a better verticle threat.

There are other versions of this deal we might work out with Bill Bellichick. We might negotiate for that 33 pick (580) points, if Greg Little is still there. This deal would be a little cheaper, but not much. We would still have to give up 47 and 78, but we would get 33 and a 4th rounder in return.

NFL Draft Pick Value Chart

For those who do not know, the NFL has a chart that shows the comparative value of each draft pick in each and every round. This is a manufacturer's suggested retail price for each pick. It sets a framework for horse trading.

Do they follow it strictly? Nope. Some GMs dump a pick. Some GMs acquire a king's ransom for a pick. It all depends on the time and the season and negotiators. Nevertheless, this chart defines the presumed trade value of each pick.

Please keep this chart in mind as I publish my next several blog entries.

Draft Pick Value Chart
Round 1 Round 2 Round 3 Round 4 Round 5 Round 6 Round 7
Pick Points Pick Points Pick Points Pick Points Pick Points Pick Points Pick Points
1 3000 33 580 65 265 97 112 129 43 161 28 193 15.2
2 2600 34 560 66 260 98 108 130 42 162 27.6 194 14.8
3 2200 35 550 67 255 99 104 131 41 163 27.2 195 14.4
4 1800 36 540 68 250 100 100 132 40 164 26.8 196 14
5 1700 37 530 69 245 101 96 133 39.5 165 26.4 197 13.6
6 1600 38 520 70 240 102 92 134 39 166 26 198 13.2
7 1500 39 510 71 235 103 88 135 38.5 167 25.6 199 12.8
8 1400 40 500 72 230 104 86 136 38 168 25.2 200 12.4
9 1350 41 490 73 225 105 84 137 37.5 169 24.8 201 12
10 1300 42 480 74 220 106 82 138 37 170 24.4 202 11.6
11 1250 43 470 75 215 107 80 139 36.5 171 24 203 11.2
12 1200 44 460 76 210 108 78 140 36 172 23.6 204 10.8
13 1150 45 450 77 205 109 76 141 35.5 173 23.2 205 10.4
14 1100 46 440 78 200 110 74 142 35 174 22.8 206 10
15 1050 47 430 79 195 111 72 143 34.5 175 22.4 207 9.6
16 1000 48 420 80 190 112 70 144 34 176 22 208 9.2
17 950 49 410 81 185 113 68 145 33.5 177 21.6 209 8.8
18 900 50 400 82 180 114 66 146 33 178 21.2 210 8.4
19 875 51 390 83 175 115 64 147 32.6 179 20.8 211 8
20 850 52 380 84 170 116 62 148 32.2 180 20.4 212 7.6
21 800 53 370 85 165 117 60 149 31.8 181 20 213 7.2
22 780 54 360 86 160 118 58 150 31.4 182 19.6 214 6.8
23 760 55 350 87 155 119 56 151 31 183 19.2 215 6.4
24 740 56 340 88 150 120 54 152 31.8 184 18.8 216 6
25 720 57 330 89 145 121 52 153 31.2 185 18.4 217 5.6
26 700 58 320 90 140 122 50 154 30.8 186 18 218 5.2
27 680 59 310 91 136 123 49 155 30.4 187 17.6 219 4.8
28 660 60 300 92 132 124 48 156 30 188 17.2 220 4.4
29 640 61 292 93 128 125 47 157 29.6 189 16.8 221 4
30 620 62 284 94 124 126 46 158 29.2 190 16.4 222 3.6
31 600 63 276 95 120 127 45 159 28.8 191 16 223 3.3
32 590 64 270 96 116 128 44 160 28.4 192 15.6 224 3

Do you remember when the Browns traded Quinn for Hillis?


The prince is advised to commit all his atrocities upfront. The people will forgive him for the early bloodletting over rest of his long and peaceful reign. So said Machiavelli.

I remember it all very well. I better remember it. It was just last year.

President Mike Holmgren walks in the door at Cleveland, and tosses Derek Anderson out on his ass. He then trades hometown hero and 1st round draft pick QB Brady Quinn for an unknown fullback who has been scrubbing for the Bronco special teams.

As you may imagine, this created quite a shockwave in Cleveland. Most Brown fans were very disappointed that Holmgren chose not to exercise his formitable QB coaching skills in developing Brady Quinn. They were disconsolate that Mike shredded a 1st round pick and got next to nothing for him. Many were pissed.

My, my, my, what a difference a year makes.

That unknown fullback was none other than Peyton Hillis. He played in all 16 games in 2010, carried 270 times, and rushed for 1,177 yards. He turned out to be half Mike Alstott and half Larry Czonka. The fans in Cleveland bonded with him immediately, and they love this guy to death.

Incidentally, EA Sports just put Hillis on the cover of John Madden's Football 2012. He beat out Mike Vick and Aaron Rodgers for that honor. Now he is an entertainer and an icon in addition to being a pretty good Aquarius kid for his Gemini boss.

Now Brown fans are laughing like hell about how badly Holmgren snookered the Broncos. I still wonder if the Peyton Hillis for Brady Quinn trade was the final nail in Josh McDaniels' coffin. When Hillis exploded in Cleveland, and Brady Quinn did nothing in Denver, I think Pat Bowlen detonated.

When you look at what Derek Anderson did for he Cardinals in 2010, and what Quinn did for the Broncos last year, I think it's pretty damn obvious that Holmgren made the right moves. There can be no doubt that he shed dead weight.

Hillis now has to face the jinx, but he seems unafraid. I think this guy is a 1,000 horse power bulldozer. If anybody can whup the jinx, he will.

I told you the Redskins weren't taking a receiver

This morning the Internet is buzzing like hell with news of the Redskins negotiating with the Broncos for that #2 overall-pick in Thursday's draft. Some are saying the Redskins' move was premature. On the contrary, the timing is perfect. We are presently only about about 30 hours from gavel-time. It's time to go, buddy. You better be negotiating right now.

For the Redskins, the move is perfectly understandable. It's pricey as hell, but it is perfectly understandable. Shanahan's WCO doesn't work without a smart AND mobile quarterback. Say what you will about his very lack-luster college career, but Gabbert is very smart and very mobile. He fits the suit very well. Sometimes you just have to pay what it costs.

If you want that Bob Kramer knife, you're going to have to pay through the nose to get it.

The McNabb story in Washington has ended tragically, and so will the Shanahan story if he doesn't bust a move. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Shanahan needs defense like a dying man in the desert needs water. He may be planing to do what I hope my Rams will do: Fix the defense in free-agency.

I do want to crow for a moment, though. I told you the Redskins weren't taking a receiver. All the stuff about Julio Jones was horse shit from the beginning. The only thing worse than a QB with no WR is a WR with no QB. Just ask the Cardinals.

As Michael Lombardi has said many times, there is a certain order of operations you go through in building an offensive unit. The order of operations is important. Go out-of-order you will get bad results. Here is that order.
  1. Offensive line
  2. Quarterback
  3. Receivers
You need the line first, or you will have a David Carr situation. You need the Quarterback next. There is no point in tying up picks and money in a receiver until you have a trigger man who can make him work. I have excluded the RB positions because this is increasingly a commodity position handled by a committee.

On the other half of the equation, I don't think I like this deal if I am the Broncos. I know the defense needs a full scale rebuild. I know this is a defense-rich draft. I know you want several of these players, not one. I know you feel you can get several by doing this deal.

Nevertheless, Marcell Darius and Von Miller are two of the crown jewels in this draft. I think I would probably take Von Miller and see if I could arrange Phil Taylor from Baylor later on. I would reckon this as the best way to rebuild my defense. You might also take Darius and Akeem Ayers.

We'll see if the Redskins make it worth John Elway's trouble. Shanahan and Elway certainly have deep-ties. I am sure there is enough personal good-will there to get the deal done, if the figures are right.


Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Bad things gentlemen, bad things...


I just finished a couple of conversation with several of my coworkers. Bad politics are afoot at work. Bad sexual politics, it would appear.

Ever had the feeling that you are coming to the end of a run with a company? Things have run their course and the firm is going in a direction you just don't want to go with them? I've been having an assortment of feelings like that for about 6 months now.

I could spell it all out in a great deal of detail, but this would be unwise, especially when it is largely unnecessary to my future plans.

Sometime between 7/2/2011 and 7/8/2011 I should reach my target weight of 230 pounds. At that time, it will be possible for me to put on a nice looking custom-tailored suit, and tuck a nice alligator bag under my shoulder. With my hair nicely styled and moused in place, I should be able to win a political beauty contest.

Make no mistake folks, sexual politics are involved in both hiring and promotion decisions. They may be suppressed to the level of subconscious mind--or maybe not--but sexual politics are always there. To knock-down a nice new job with a nice new promotion, you better have your sexual charisma working for you.

Few companies are run by altruistic Virgos who wish to make decisions on a purely logical and optimal basis, setting aside all unnecessaries. Many companies are owned by lusty lovers of life who wish to grip it an rip it. They do allow their passions and personal preferences to interfere with their decision making. The lust of the flesh, the passion of the heart, the desire of the eyes have a great deal of power in Corporate America.

I recently heard Rich Eisen say that he would select Blaine Gabbert because he is "dreamy". I don't think Eisen himself would dream of Gabbert, but I know a shrewed owner like Sonny Werblin would take this into consideration. Werblin would use that in his marketing plan, were he alive today. He sure as hell did with Joe Namath. You are a fool if you think 3 or 4 NFL marketing departments haven't run projections on potential earnings from the girl market if they select Gabbert in this draft.

This may be one reason Mike Shanahan is currently jiggling his connections with John Elway and Pat Bowlen in an attempt to acquire the #2 pick and select Blaine Gabbert. But then again, Mike is a Virgo. He should make logical an optimal decisions.

But I digress...

Firms hiring programmers aren't always happy to select the super-genius who owns just two T-Shirts... both replete with boogers. No, they would like a guy who is articulate and well polished, a dude they can set before a potential customer or client; a guy who will impress the MBAs with his demeanor.

Of course, such a life change will probably mean that I can no longer wear one of my 62 NFL jerseys each day, and every day in a seemingly endless rotation... Alas, we cannot have everything in life. You take the good with the bad in life. If I want a nice promotion in safe harbor I will have to accept the downside of more professional dress.


Knowing this, I would be a fool to make a premature move. I need to stay the course till the weight loss program has hit target goals. At this point, a launch window will open, and I should be able to find safe harbor somewhere else. With the right Cancer or Capricorn in the boss's seat, I am bound to impress. Cancer and Capricorn bosses usually (but not always) love me. The feeling is usually mutual.

I guess the real question is this: just how far am I willing to move to secure that safe harbor? Would I be willing to leave Los Angeles? Would I be willing to move to San Francisco? Would I be willing to blow out of California altogether and move to a place like Phoenix, Los Vegas or Austin?

I have family members in San Francisco, and Miami. I have always fancied Miami. Maybe I should give it some serious thought.


Why everybody loves A.J. Green

So, a budy of mine at work--who is a dedicated Ram-fan--asked me why I am so sweet on Green when Julio is the guy all the Ram-fans are talking about. I answered him pretty directly.

A.J. Green is a 6'4", 211 pound version of Lynn Swann who is faster and more bio-mechanically efficient going into and coming out of his breaks. He has a 31 pound weight advantage on Swann, a 5 inch height advantage on Swann, and 1 or 2 tenths speed advantage on Swann. I think he leaps higher in combat, and uses his hands better. He's a lion-hearted kid also.

I know this is saying a hell of a lot, but I think my man can back it up all the way. I'm not the only one. Charley Casserly has already said he would select A.J. #1 overall. I just heard Moose Johnston say the same tonight on NFL Total Access. The Moose believes A.J. is the safest pick in the entire draft. Von Miller may be a little safer, but I am pretty much online with the Moose.

As we all know coach Steve Mariucci has a new show called Game Changers, but as far as I am concerned, A.J. is the most clear-cut game changer around. This is the guy I believe will turn the tide of battle when everything is going against you.

A shout out to Billy Devaney: Think about our Rams trailing by 9 points at the start of the 4th quarter against the Ravens. The Raven defense is putting on crushing pressure. Sam has to unload an errant pass. A.J. goes up in the air and out-fights Ed Reed for the football. Reed is not only robbed of an interception, he falls down in the process. A.J. outruns everyone to the endzone. Now the Rams trail by just 2 points with 14 and change left to play.

I could see a lot of scenarios like this in the near future, and what a bright future it would be. Think of the possibilities.



Incidentally, did you see the look or Roger Goodell's face?

Just a quick hit before I get out the door to go to work.

Did you get a clear look at Roger Goodell's face as he exited the court building yesterday? He looked like someone had kicked him in the balls with an iron boot, and then hit him with a vicious upper-cut to the jaw. That was a look of profound distress, like he was trying to shake off one hell of a hit.

I am not exactly sure who instigated the current labor strife. I don't know if it was the owners who pushed this on the Commish, or if it was the Commish who had the bright idea and proposed it to the owners. In any case, the strategy is not working. The NFL has already lost it's lockout insurance policy from the networks, and now the players have basically defeated the lockout.

I think this has to be viewed as a crisis point for management. Not that it will last forever, but we could have a temporary blast of absolute baseball free agency that could see marquee players like Peyton Manning moving around at NASA moon-shot prices.

If this whole adventure was designed to peel back some labor costs, you just might have another thing coming. This is a very good object lesson in Conservatism. This is the doctrine of unforeseen consequences come home to roost. Don't upset a delicate financial balance when you have one. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Don't sew to the wind.

These guys sewed to the wind, and now they are going to reap the whirlwind in the next 72 hours. Folks, all hell is going to break loose when the 8th Circuit orders the injunctive relief to be implemented.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Here we go, boys!

So unless you've been buried under a rock for the last couple hours, you know that U.S. District Judge Susan Richard Nelson has ruled in favor of the former player's union. You can read about it here.


She has ruled that the decertification of the union is more than just a legal fiction, that federal labor law permitting the lockout of union workers does not apply to the former NFLPA, ergo sum the NFL Owner's lockout of NFL players is an illegal action under anti-trust law.

Now the owners have already filed for a stay of execution pending an appeal to the 8th circuit court, but this has to be seen as a pretty ripping victory for the players. The NFLPA's legal strategy is working. The owners have already lost their lockout insurance, and now they have lost the lockout.

It may take a day or two to get the verdict on the stay of execution, but I happen to think the owners are unlikely to win that one. It is the role of the appeal court to uphold the rulings of the lower court unless gross errors were made.

Folks, I'm going on the record with this one: Trades and free agency can begin as early as Wednesday. The league will need to implement player rules for 2011, but they will have to implement those rules, lest they be held in contempt of court. The judge has the power to throw people in jail for contempt, you know. The excitement of the Draft may be amplified about a hundred fold, folk. We could see some real wicked deal making in the prelude to the draft, and during the draft. I sure hope so.

What are the potential ramifications of this decision for the simple GM who would just want to stock his football team with the talent it needs to win?
  1. Those veteran QBs just might move out of limbo quick.
  2. We might not see a bunch of GMs hit the chicken switch and reach for 2nd round QBs in the first round.
  3. Players can be bundled with picks, meaning we can see more draft day trades.
  4. We might see my Rams answer some defensive needs through free agency rather than the draft.
  5. Given the ability to package players with picks, my Rams just might move up and take that WR we are all begging for.
I am not going to play games with you guys, I love this decision to death. We going to see such a frenzy of activity it is going to be amazing. Most GMs will have to pull a 72 hour red-eye bender starting this Wednesday. This is going to be pretty exciting. This is going to be balls-out chaos.

Chris Mortensen even suggested that Peyton Manning may become an all-out free-agent here. Boy! What the 49ers would do to get him.

It's draft week folks.

We are at T-Minus 78 hours and counting to the launch of the draft folks. Thursday evening at 4:00 pm PST, the gavel will fall and the Panthers shot-clock will start. Let's hope they don't fuck it up by selecting Cam. I pitty you, Eric. You have my profound condolences.

A few key precepts

  1. This is a razor-thin draft. There is no depth to this draft. Once we are thought round 3, stick a fork in it, cuz we are done.
  2. The 2011 draft cannot compare in any way with the 2010 draft. 2010 was vastly superior to 2011. Understand that this is the weakest senior class Charlie Casserly has seen in 27 years in this business.
  3. There will be a large and disproportionally high ratio of over-drafted disappointments and busts in this draft.
  4. This is a defensive draft, not an offensive draft.
  5. What depth there is in this skinny draft exists at the defensive end position.
  6. The linebacker position is the thinest position in this draft class. Von Miller is the only impact player at the LB position. Akeem Ayers is the only good 2nd rounder. Chris Matthews is the only guy I want to select in round 3. This is a terrible year to be in need of a linebacker.
  7. This is a bad year for the QB position. I just heard Rich Eisen suggesting that this is a 'seemingly' quarterback rich draft. This is marketing hype. It's quarterback rich like the year 2000. There may be another Brady 6 in this draft. There are more suspects than prospects at the QB position.
  8. This is a wretched year for offensive linemen. Heavy-legged waist-benders with limited upper body strength, and skinny bastards too! Mike Pouncey is the only guy I would bank on as a blue-chip, can't miss prospect.
  9. This is a very good year for Wide Receivers. We have two really sweet choices up top and a few others that might pan out in round 2. This is a good year to be in need of a WR.

Devaney unlikely to move up?

I want to preface this section by reminding us all that this is disinformation week. As Mike Lombardi says, it is liar's poker season. There will be more negative influence, trap plays, pump fakes, subterfuge and deception this week than any other week of 2011. Everyone is smoke-screening like a moe-foe, covering up their real intentions.

I have read several nasty reports that Billy Devaney intends to stay put at #14. In an interview with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Devaney said that he felt the Rams were smack in the sweet-spot of the draft. Chances are that the Rams will stay put.

Of course, Billy would not be inclined to tell you he has potential deals in the works with the Cardinals and Cowboys even if it were so, now would he? This would only make WR desperate teams more inclined to try to jump us and take their man, right? This can only increase the cost of any potential deal, correct?

I can only say the following: If we aren't smart enough to mortgage the farm to get A.J. Smith, I hope we will take either J.J. Watt or Mike Pouncey. I see these two young men as can't miss blue-chips in any system, and at various positions. Although I would love to have Watt, I supppose Pouncey fills the greater need. I would be glad to see him join the team.

Anybody remember Leonard Hankerson?

Leonard Hankerson is the latest edition of Big-Bird. He was the big-time wide receiver at The U of Miami over the past several years. His draft stock is very uncertain. Many still accord him 2nd round draft status, although many are now reporting that he is slipping into the 3rd round. Mike Mayock's review of Hankerson has inspired much fear. Mayock has emphasized the dropped passes and questionable work ethic he has seen in Hankerson, almost identifying him as a one-year wonder.

Of course, you know I greatly appreciate Mike Mayock. He is one of the few authorities I trust on the draft. However, in this case, I inclined to disagree. I know Hankerson had drop-problems early in his career. I know he has been working hard with Mark Super Duper on this problem. During his senior year I saw real progress and few if any drops. Now, I haven't seen all his game film, so there may be more drops I haven't seen.

If worse comes to worse, and we don't nail one of the top two prospects at the WR position, I would hope we would be smart enough to nail Leonard Hankerson. His combine numbers are terrific. He was sensational at the senior bowl. He is a Taurus kid and will have good synastry with a Scorpio guy like Sam Bradford. Trust me on this one. They will matchup nicely.

If we can have him in the 3rd round, we better do it. CBS Sports currently ranks Hankserson as the 80th best prospect in the draft. It should be noted that the Rams have the 78th pick. Let's get him.

It is better...

  1. It is better to have one or two blue-chippers than 7 nothings and nobodies.
  2. Knowing that there is little DT depth in this draft, I would hope we would select versatile dude like J.J. Watt, or pass on all of them.
  3. Knowing that there are no linebackers in this draft for the Rams, it is better to get a few (like Chase Blackburn) in free agency than to draft projects.
  4. Knowing that there are few offensive linemen in this draft, I hope we will have the wisdom to reach for Pouncey or pass on them entirely.
  5. Knowing that there are a couple of blue-chip receivers in this draft, it is better to go after them with our draft picks than to get a temporary WR fix in free agency.
  6. It is better to fix our defense in free agency than to reach for some questionable prospects through the middle rounds of this razor-thin draft.
  7. Strangely enough, I think it is better to go contrariwise in this draft and select offense over defense.

What we need to remember

  1. There ain't no use in having a good quarterback if you don't have a receiver to catch his passes down field.
  2. Having a quarterback with no receiver is like having a cigarette with no lighter.
  3. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having cornflakes with no milk.
  4. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having peanut butter with no jelly.
  5. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having Mac with no cheese.
  6. We have $50 million invested in a pretty good quarterback
  7. We have an absolute #1 pick in phattest draft in recent memory long-sunk in a pretty damn good quarterback.
  8. It is a categorical moral imperative to weaponize Sam in this 2011 draft.
  9. Getting a big-time receiver in this 2011 draft is the sine qua non, that without which nothing else is possible.

Source Code


So, I've actually seen a few good movies lately. These would include The Adjustment Bureau, Hanna, and Source Code. I just saw Source Code yesterday.

The two worst things about Source Code are the title and the ending. Other than these two points, it's a very tight and well executed science fiction thriller. If you don't want to know anymore before seeing the move, read no further. A lot of spoilers will follow.

The title is bad because I cannot see how the term Source Code has any bearing at all on the plot or content of the movie. For those who don't know, source code is the term for the computer language code that programmers like me write all day long at work. As it was classically understood, this code would be run through a compiler and turned into executable machine language. Nowadays, the crap can be directly interpreted, as is the case with JavaScript. Us old farts would not necessarily consider a script-code to be true source code, because no final or executable code would be compiled from it. There is no connection between this concept and the movie concept. The movie should have had a better title.

The movie revolves around a U.S. Army helicopter pilot, terminally wounded in battle, whose half-dead remains have been kept on life support in a special program code named the Source Code project. This is a special joint-forces DARPA team assembled to combat terrorism. Using technology not described in this movie, they are able to capture the last moments of memory from the brains of dead victems of a terrorist (or other) incident.

If they can find a neuromap match between a victem and one of their surrogates, they can send the surrogate agents into the last 8 minutes of that individual's life. They can do so repeatedly. The agent can then investigate the circumstances of this individual's death, and hopefully unravel the case.

What we get is a repeated loop of 8 minutes in the spirit of Groundhog Day. The agent is blessed and cursed with an unlimited number of Mulligans to solve the case. This also means he has to experience death repeatedly in the terrorist incident.

Now, there are a hundred problems with this script. How can the agent interact with a fixed memory in a hundred thousand different ways? How can the people in this fixed memory respond to him differently? How can he find things in this environment that the original subject never found? How can find things in this dead man's memory that the man cannot remember because he never experienced them? Nevertheless, the movie presents a scenario entertaining enough to get us to suspend our disbelief. The entertainment factor works. I went along for the ride.

Much more troubling is the alternate reality universe that this agent is able to create by the end of the movie. That was the component of the movie that just about blew it for me. I can see no way that the physics of this could ever work out. This, above all else, was hard to swallow. It's even more troubling in the light of the fact that they had a very touching and tragic ending on tap.

They should have ended it when the agent's last 8 minutes end with a kiss on his beloved. That would have been a very powerful and uncertain ending, just like death itself. Everybody was tearing up, and they had to go and blow it with a more "optimistic" and "happy" ending. Do you wonder why the artists involved made this choice?

Tho the movie was directed by a Gemini (Duncan Jones), Source Code is mostly a fire-people production. Jake Gyllenhal (Sagittarius), Michelle Monaghan (Aries), Vera Farmiga (Leo), and Jeffrey Wright (Sagittarius) are all members of the fire clan. That's probably not a co-inky-dinky. A lot of casting directors use Astrology to construct matchups. Mercurial Duncan may have known better, but he may have let the fire-people--and the studios--talk him into it.

You see, fire people are all about the future. Imagining a future without themselves in it is pretty tough to do. Imagining the end of themselves is particularly unbearable for fire-people.

Of course, it's not easy for any of us, but some of us are more realistic about it. J.R.R. Tolkien once said that all great literature is about the same thing: Death. If they had just ended Source Code with the big kiss, they would have had a very powerful and uncertain ending, just like death itself. This would have left the crowd in tears. That woudl have been a powerful ending folks. That would have been good art. This is why J.R.R. Tolkien said what he said.

Unfortunately, I can see this movie translating into a long-running TV series on the ScyFy network. I can see them sending Colter Stevens into some new investigation week after week. Each time he solves the mystery, he is rewarded with a new happy life in a new world with a new identity. It's a new lease on life every week for one of our wounded warriors.

I don't think this would be such a great thing for a pretty innovative Sci-Fi movie.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Welcome to Taurus Season



Back on the 20th, we transitioned from Aries season to Taurus time. I'm pretty excited about it. I am back on my home turf for the first time in about 90 days. It's Earth season again.

Taurus is the first of the three Earth signs. The second is Virgo (my sign) and the third is Capricorn, which we exited more than 90 days ago. This is a good time for us all.

As is the case with all Earth people, the Taurus people have many sterling qualities and a few bad ones. Like all us Earth people, the Tauri are practical, pragmatic, utilitarian, down to earth, realistic, feet on the ground, and hard working folks. We all tend to be blunt spoken, straight talkers. We mean what we say and say what we mean.

Taurus occurs is the middle of spring, and is fixed sign of the Earth clan. Because Taurus is the fixed sign of the group, they are steady, reliable, loyal, stable, no-quit kinda people. On the flip side of these outstanding qualities, you will find a little stubborn fixation mixed in there. That's the shadow of the tall tower.

Chris Berman, Emmitt Smith, John Unitas, Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, Josh McDaniels, Lovie Smith, Mike Martz, and Cam Newton are all members of the Taurus family.

A number of big-time philosophers have been Taurians. Emmanuel Kant, Karl Marx, Sigmund Freud, Max Planck, and John Stuart Mill are a few of those. Hence the professors say that to be a great philosopher, you have to be full of bull.

Unfortunately, a few of your nastiest dictators have also been Taurians. Oliver Cromwell, Adolf Hitler, and Saddam Hussein are in this class. Vladimir Lenin and Ho Chi Minh were also born under Taurus. You may or may not count them as villains.


Before your impression turns sower, understand that William Shakespeare and Pope John Paul II were also Taurians.

Interestingly, the Major Arcana card representing Taurus is the Hierophant. Hierophant is a fancy Greek term meaning "High Priest". A high percentage of Taurians a very religious folks, both stubbornly fixated and attached to their mother doctrine. A sizable number of powerful religious leaders have been Taurians.

Taurus is ruled by Venus, an alias for Aphrodite, the goddess of love. This makes them the most sensual and sexual members of the Earth clan. There is a dispute inside astrology regarding which sign has the highest absolute sex drive. The majority report says that Scorpio has the highest sex drive. The minority report says that Taurus has the highest sex drive. Which ever you draft first, you take the other second. Ergo, Taurus has either the highest or second highest drive of the bunch.

Interestingly enough, Taurus and Scorpio are directly opposed to each other in our earthly skies, and separated by half a year. This creates a powerful attraction between them, just as is the case between Pisces and Virgo. This would mean that Taurus girl would be outstanding for a guy like Sam Bradford. Charles Bronson was a Scorpio and his wife, Jill Ireland, was a Taurus. They had a legendary Hollywood romance. When she died of cancer, he never got over it. That was the beginning of the end for him.

Interestingly, we build our football teams through the draft during Taurus season. We shake out the winners from the losers 6 months later during Scorpio season.

Taurus women have a tendency to be drop-dead gorgeous. If you want to a see a few of the movie starlets that have been born under Taurus, click here. You will see what I am talking about. Among the first 50 names that pop up under that list, around 39 to 40 are winners in my very picky opinion. That's an insanely high percentage.

It is a remarkable co-inky-dinky that Maxim Magazine just happened to pick Jordana Brewster as their cover girl for their recently released issue. She just happens to be a Taurus girl. I have splendid scores versus Jordana, and I don't need the computer to tell me it so. WOW!


While I still have a preference for Capricorn and Pisces women, it is very hard to ignore these Taurus girls. Further, it seems that a lot of them are showing up around me all of a sudden. I would be lying if I told you I didn't find them attractive.

It just so happens that a girl at work I have admired for several years turns out to be May 10 Taurus. I don't know the year, but I suspect it is 1984. This discovery came as a great surprise. I was told she was a Gemini. She didn't seem like it, but I took the source's word for it.

This is a very good time of year for a guy like me. I intend to post a gallery of Taurus girls soon. You will see that they are very, very competitive with the Capricorn girls. I have a serious inborn weakness for Pisces girls, which is a problem, but these Taurus girls might even be able to run them down.