Friday, April 22, 2011

The 49ers? Bah! What rubbish!

Egads, you guys at the NFL Network are going to force me to unmask you as a marketing conspiracy. I would rather allow you to continue masquerading as a expert analysts giving unbiased information, but... allas, you are pissing me off with with this bullshit you pass off as logic and evidence.

Lately it has become a vogue meme to suggest that the 49ers are going to win the NFC West... Yes those Busch League 49ers are supposed to win the west again. That's the team owned by a woman named Denise. I know she pushes her son out in front of her and attempts to hide, but you know goddamn well Denise owns the team. Denise is a lousy, lousy owner; one of the worst in the league to be frank with you. She just doesn't have a clue.

The 49er theory so is patently preposterous, it can only be broadcast because the NFL Network is a marketing department of the NFL. You see, the 49er organization called and said they need help moving tickets. Ticket sales are pretty poor right now. The fans know what to expect. They are not excited. Since the NFL Network is a 100% wholly owned subsidiary, they are obligated to help teams implement their marketing strategy.

Folks, let's be absolutely clear about something: 2010 was the year the tires fell off the 49er rebuilding project. This is now a failed group, particularly on offense. There is hope for the defense, but they were not the elite group they were supposed to be last season.

Rather than this being the year Alex Smith turned the corner, 2010 was the year he went bust to the uttermost farthing. After 6 full years of basically nothing, it is impossible to pretend that this guy is a franchise QB or that he is going to turn the corner. Yet the 49ers are offering him a 1 year contract, and I'll bet you that they are going to try to roll with him in 2011.

You can just forget about the entire 2011 campaign if they go forward with this plan.

Maybe they are planing to lay-down and throw whatever comes of this lockout season in an effort to obtain Andrew Luck? Think about it folks. If they do lay-down, you sure as hell are going to look like a fucking fool for picking them. Think about it folks. You have a professional reputation to protect. You better think twice before picking these guys.

Rather than 2010 being the year that Frank Gore, Vernon Davis, and Michael Crabtree finally developed chemistry, camaraderie and esprit de corp, you once again saw Mike Singletary drag them off by the scruff of the neck to upbraid them for fighting with one another on the practice field. Gore fights with Davis and critiques him sharply in the news media. Davis and Crabtree cuss each other out almost every practice, and they sometimes tie into each other.

This is an offensive unit with shit for chemistry. I am talking about rock-bottom levels of offensive chemistry. You need to break these bums up because they cannot play together. You need to ship them off for whatever you can get for them. You need to execute a full skill position rebuild on offense.

You might well have done that with new coach Jim Harbaugh at the helm, but then the lockout fucked you in the ass, didn't it?

But isn't Gore the reason they will win the NFC West? Folks, Gore has a pair of surgically reconstructed knees. Notice I said reconstructed, not repaired. He had full reconstruction on both knees. In addition to this, his 2010 season was cut short by a microfracture in his hip. If that weren't enough for you, Gore now has 7 full years in the NFL. The life expectancy of a running back is about 4 years. How much rubber do you think he has left on the tires?

Plain and simple: You are looking at a lost year. Good news though, you might be able to select Andrew Luck in the 2012 draft... if there is one.

Memo to the NFL Network: If you don't quit with the ticket-pushing lies, I am going to expose you, hardcore. I am not going to be nice about it either. I'm going to call you out by name an annihilate your fallacious logic and false facts.