Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Shout out to E. Stanley Kroenke: OYE! BUY THE DODGERS!

I am an old time Los Angeles sports fans: Lakers, Dodgers and Rams, but not in this order. It would be more like Rams, Lakers, Dodgers.

I may not be much of a baseball fan, but I am a committed Dodger fan. I don't talk about it much because we have had three years of absolute misery, minus an NLCS appearance. Wanna know why? Just read some news on dodgerdivorce.com. You will get the picture. It's pure hell, and our team is in limbo.

Today, I take back all the bad things I have ever said about Bud Selig. The guy stepped up to the plate like a man and executed a move that took some real balls: He seized operational control of the team from Frank McCourt. He did so on the grounds of financial mismanagement that sounded almost like embezzlement when read for the press. He has strongly implied that he is considering using his powers to force McCourt to sell the team. He can do this under several ownership contract clauses.

Selig made it clear that a flagship team like the Dodgers, the Dallas Cowboys of baseball, cannot be allowed to collapse into fiscal insolvency. The damage to major league baseball would be much too great. Amen brother.

Folks, I want you to know that several of us were dancing in the corridors at work when this news rang out. There was much rejoicing. Although he will never make up the distance now, Frank McCourt was drawing perilously close to Georgia Frontiere levels of hatred here in Los Angeles. That's a hell of a lot of hatred folks. I'm talking powerful hatred.

While the team is not out of his hands entirely just yet, we consider this an excellent first step towards organizational sanity. We love it.

Now on to the key point: Stan, we need you to buy the team. I know there is this little cross-ownership thing, but you know we can get around it. Ann can write a loan check to Josh and he can buy the team. So what if you operate through surrogates? No big deal.

The Dodgers would be one hell of a jewel in your empire. I know you want to buy the team. I am just here to give you some strong encouragement.

A long time ago in 1993-1994, a bunch of Rams fans like me pinned our hopes for better ownership to your band waggon. It took awhile, but it finally happened. A lot of Dodger fans are hoping for drastically better ownership than what we have had. If you buy the Dodgers, you will own two-thirds of the hearts of all loyal Los Angeles fans.

That's pretty good for the empire.