The 1990 Cowboys: Water and Earth

So our series on the elemental compatibility of the great dynasties has now reached the 1990s and that means the Dallas Cowboys. For me, this was a good one. I enjoyed these Cowboys. They were comprised of a number of 1966 babies, like myself, and they oppressed the 49ers something fierce.

Don't let anybody con you. The Cowboys got the better of that rivalry, and it wasn't all that close. That is why they were the team of the decade and the 49ers were not.

I enjoyed the 1990s Cowboys for a lot of reasons. Probably the most important was the black-eye they dealt to the West Coach offense. The Cowboys brought back the 4-3 defense after an era when the 3-4 was completely dominant. Their fast 4-3 defense was more than able to control the 49ers very, very powerful WCO.

Further, the Cowboys played a pretty conventional I-Formation Erhardt-Perkins offense. They ran on 1st & 2nd down most of the time, and they passed on 3rd down. The plays and the play calling were simple. They were just so talented nobody could stop them. They beat the hell out of their opponents in their one-to-one match ups. Even though the offense was basic and simple, it seemed like a flying circus because it often resulted in explosive plays.

I found these guys easy to like. That is probably because they were primarily Water and Earth guys, perfectly compatible with a Virgo guy like me. If you are a Virgo, you can't help but be proud that the Water and Earth alliance whupped the Air boys of San Francisco. No wonder these teams didn't like each other.

I find it interesting that Troy Aikman is a Scorpio and Michael Irvin is a Pisces, and these two are still best buddies to this day. Scorpio and Pisces is one of the greatest match ups on the synastry board. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were a Scorpio Pisces combo. So to were John Gotti and Sammy the Bull Gravano.

I find it more interesting that Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith (Taurus) are 180 degree opposites. As you know, opposites attract. Taurus and Scorpio just might have the most powerful oppositional attraction of them all. These are both very fixed and stubborn signs, so if they agree in the beginning, they will always agree with each other.

It was my impression that there was never even the slightest crack in the unity of Aikman and Smith. These two were teammates and battle buddies for life, period. The end of the story. You couldn't divide them. There was no need to mention it. It was just understood that these two were on the same sheet of music.

It's also very interesting that Alvin Harper is a Cancer and Jay Novacek is a Scorpio. Troy had excellent timing and chemistry with both of them. So we have one each of the three water signs in the reciever corp: Michael Irvin (Pisces), Alvin Harper (Cancer) and Jay Novacek (Scoprio). That's a perfect trio.

I also find it interesting that this chemistry this receiver corp began to break down when Alvin Harper left and Aquarius Kevin Williams showed up.

The one big exception is Moose Johnston. Of course, the Moose is an Aquarius. Nevertheless, he was an instrumental part of this offense, and a highly regarded teammate. This must have been a case of special affinity.

This entire unit was under the command of an Taurus offensive coordinator by the name of Norv Turner. Scorpio Troy Aikman has so much regard for this particular Taurus that he asked Norv to introduce him at his Hall of Fame induction. This was at a time when Norv's rep was at a fairly low ebb. That's oppositional attraction folks. This is also the stubborn loyalty of the fixed signs.

So I have an error correction and retraction to print, dear readers. As it turns out, the Jimmy Johnson who coached the Cowboys is a Leo, not a Cancer as I originally thought. As it happens, there are a lot of Jimmy Johnsons in world of sports and football, and one of them is a Cancer. I find it interesting that Terry Bradshaw's best buddy is a Leo.

Obviously there is a lot of affinity between us Virgos and 'dem Leos; a lot more than I originally suspected. I've been learning a lot about this lately.

The fact that Jimmy Johnson is a fiery fire sign guy sheds much light on why Troy Aikman was so hesitant to play for this guy, why he never fully trusted Jimmy, and why that relationship never really blossomed.

The composition of the offensive line is interesting. It's a mixture of Fire and Earth. Fire and Earth do mix with some difficulty. This is what is known as a ceramic mixture. It does work better if you get side-by-sides like Leo and Virgo, or Sagittarius and Capricorn.

This was a fantastic offensive line. This composition underscores the fact that the Offensive Line is a separate unit from the skill positions, and some mixture is permissible here.

Rams and Cowboys talking trade again?

For about 11 days now, rumors of a trade between the Rams and Cowboys have been circulating on various sports sites around the web. According to my best research guess, this rumor was first offered by John Lorge on 4/8/2011 on a BleacherReport.com mock draft. Since then it has been gathering steam in various and sundry quadrants.

Todd McShay, member of the world-wide eatter of shorts, added his voice to these rumors right around April 14/15, saying that his sources reported that discusions were taking place. Since then, many Cowboy sites have eagerly endorsed the deal. Many Ram fans have also embraced the news.

Strangely, famous St. Louis sports writer Howard Balzer doesn't really like the idea. He hasn't really qualified his objections.

Just what is the idea precisely? The Rams eMail the Cowboys the 14th and 78th picks in the draft and get the 9th pick in return. This puts the Rams immediately in front of the Redskins, meaning they can't fuck us out of Julio Jones. The Cowboys get to nail their favorite prospect (possibly Corey Liuget) at a much more reasonable price, and they get a 3rd rounder for their trouble.

On the surface, it is hard to find any fault in this deal. The Rams get what they need, and the Cowboys get what they need. Good deal for both sides.

It wouldn't be the first time Billy Devaney did a deal with Jerry Jones. We traded trash last year in a deal that was not particularly good for either side. We both went into that deal with eyes wide open. Neither side had unreasonable expectations about the quality of that deal. We were both unloading dead-weight.

While I applaud the effort at a deal, and while I would welcome Julio to the Rams roster, I am not sure this is exactly the right deal. The cost is not an issue. The price is reasonable. The issue is draft position. I am not sure this puts us high enough up the board to get what we want.

As I have said several times, I am not concerned about the Redskins selecting Julio Jones. WR is a deep 3rd place need for the Skins. This is Liar's Poker season, as Mike Lombardi calls it. All Redskin signals in Julio's direction are false. Believe me, they need a QB before they need to take a WR. They also need defense like a dying man in the desert needs water.

I am very concerned about teams higher than the Redskins, namely the Bengals and the Browns, selecting both A.J. Green and Julio Jones. We may reach #9 to no avail. This would suck. This would allow us a very nice choice of defensive players, but this is not what we had in mind when we traded up.

Despite the fact that the Cardinals are in our division, I would be talking deal with them. The Cardinals are the team most likely to get fucked out of everything they want in this draft.

Both Von Miller and Blaine Gabbert are trending very high right now. They could easily be gone before #5. I could see Miller going #2 or #3. I can see Gabbert going #1 or #4. If the Cardinals can't get what they want at #5, they might be primed for a deal to move down.

The #5 pick would have a ton of value for the Rams. I would give up the #14 and teh #47 pick to get it. This could potentially yeild either A.J. Green or Julio Jones. This is a very nice position to be in. We just might select the pick of the litter at #5. You know I would love that.

I would say that the number 5 slot is the one we want.

Turn out the lights the party's over

I just got the terrible news that Dandy Don Meredith died after suffering a brain Hemorrhage. He was 72 years old, and died in Santa Fe New Mexico. They say that all good things must end.

Don was the original Cowboy quarterback. He was Craig Morton and Roger Staubach's forerunner. He was the Cowboy quarterback in the famous Ice Bowl, and an assortment of other Cowboy close-brushes with the Championship. Dandy Don’s entire career transpired before I was conscious of football. The Ice Bowl happened when I had just a few weeks in womb.

I knew Don Meredith as one of the big three on Monday Night Football. Howard Cosell and Frank Gifford were the other two. Dems was the best days dat ever was, or dats ever gonna be. The culture clash between Don Meredith's Texas quarterback cowboy-ism, and Howard's New York Jewish journalism school provided about 25,000 tons of entertainment. Frank was the straight guy who held it all together with a solid-vanilla play-by-play. He was a nice platform for the other two greats jump off. As many have said: Entertainment somehow managed to break loose from the chains that normally confine it.

Monday Night Football has never been the same since. Frankly, it's never been close. Now it’s just a game. Back then, it was an entertainment spectacle. Regardless of who was playing, you knew it was going to be fun. Sooner or later, Meredith and Cosell would unleash something classic. If you think Summerall and Madden were fun, you should have heard the old Monday Night gang. They were truly classic.

Back in those days Monday Night was mandatory. Now it is strictly optional. I may be interested or I may not. It depends on who is playing. I have missed 4 or 5 MNF games this season already. I will probably miss more. It just isn't a big deal now.

PC has taken over Fox, CBS, and NBC. ABC only does College ball, and they haven't been the same since Keith Jackson retired. Only the NFL Network seems to allow the commentators to flash some color, and play practical jokes on each other, as in the old days of MNF. This mostly involves Deion Sanders and Michael Irvin ribbing the hell out of each other, with Rich Eisen subtly weaving chaos in the background.

Jeff and Hazel's baby boy has been sorely missed for years now, and I am not happy to see him go.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/40531172

Some Random Thoughts on Sports this Monday Night

Both the Cowboy and Vikings seasons officially ended today

Towards the end of the off-season, most speculators believed that the Cowboys and the Vikings would be the two NFC Championship contestants come January. I gave a light and tentative endorsement to the Cowboy theory. I totally denied the Viking theory. It turns out that both teams are officially dead as of week 7 of the 2010 season.

Today, the MRIs revealed that Brett Favre has 2 fractures in his ankle and a chunk of bone & tendon that has ripped out of position. Get this, they have not officially ruled him out for Sunday’s game! BBAAAAHHHHAAA HHAAAAAAHAAHHAHAHA! That’s a funny joke. I get it.

Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit! Brett’s career is now officially over. Call it quits. Just shut it down. Pack it in and call it a career. It is now over. He’s isn’t just officially out for this Sunday. He’s out for the rest of his life. The only thing that prevents us from calling a spade of a spade is pure media politics. In other words, denials and protestations to the contrary are absolute and complete bullshit.

Of course, this means Viks can pack it in and call it quits for the rest of 2010. They are officially no longer contenders, not that they were 27 hours ago either. Sure, they may go on to win 4-6 of their remaining games, but that will mean nothing in the playoff picture.

Then, as if things weren’t going badly enough for the Cowboys, catastrophe struck on ESPN Monday Night Football when Michael Boley sprinted through a gaping hole in the Cowboy offensive line and drove a chicken-winged Tony Romo into the artificial turf… hard. Tony suffered a broken clavicle bone in his left shoulder. He is expected to miss 8-10 games.

I categorically agree with owner Jerry Jones: There is no replacement for Tony Romo. The Cowboys may win 4 or 5 games down the stretch with Jon Kitna, but I seriously doubt it. Even if they do, it will mean poodly-squat in the playoff picture. The Cowboys are now officially done.

Hell widens its mouth for the Chargers

I am about two tens of a nanometer away from declaring the Chargers dead also. The only thing that prevents me from doing so is the presumed weakness of the AFC West. I think this presumption is extremely faulty. I am one tenth of a nanometer away from accepting the proposition that the Chiefs are the class of the West. I seriously doubt that the Chargers are going to have either a winning or a break-even record in 2010.

Early this afternoon, I heard Hacksaw Lee Hamilton raising hell over the Charger situation. He is not alone in raising hell, by any means, and his pain is genuine. He has been a Charger man for decades now. He drew a bulls-eye on the situation precisely and then said something very curious indeed. Hacksaw declared that he was thinking the unthinkable: The Chargers might not be a playoff team in 2010.

I laughed like hell at that line. Everything he had declared prior to that point pretty well proved that the Chargers were nothing resembling a playoff contender. Why soft-pedal the mandatory conclusion? Politics. It would be tough for such a prominent sports reporter in the San Diego area to hammer his favorite franchise so clearly on the air. It could cost him political capital. Better to sacrifice some honesty points, and appear loyal.

At this very moment, I am hearing Moochie spewing some horseshit about how the Chargers are still good enough to win the AFC West. No. You’re all wet there, coach. This has nothing to do with talent or the lack there of.

This has everything to do with labor strife. Hacksaw Lee Hamilton is correct, the Chargers have quit on A.J. Smith. Labor strife has reached a point now where the Charger players are playing selfishly to enlarge their stats and make a run at free agency with some other team. They are not playing to win.

Hell widens its mouth for the 49ers

I haven’t got the slightest idea of what is wrong with 49ers. I am inclined to blame Alex Smith, but that does not explain their inability to terminate last-minute game winning drives. They were supposed to have an elite defense. They have nothing of the kind. We have to look to Singletary for the reason why. Yes, he is one of the most respected dudes around, but something is seriously wrong with that defense.

I think the 49ers are also officially dead. If they make it to 8-8, it will be a miracle.

Giants vs Falcons in the NFC Championship?

I still believe the Saints and the Packers can factor in the NFC. However, it is getting clearer and clearer that the two most powerful football teams in the NFC are the New York Giants and the Atlanta Falcons. They are really starting to look good. They seem to be improving in every area, particularly in their ability to fight back into contention when they are down in the count.

I am really fucking sick of the East-Coast Bias

There is a clear law in sports: Your ranking is inversely proportional to your proximity to Bristol Connecticut. The closer you are to Bristol, the higher your ranking. The greater your distance, the lower your ranking.

As a UCLA graduate, I am no fan of Oregon, however, I cannot understand how they were cheated of the #1 ranking this week. How the hell did Auburn get it? How did they jump over Boise and Oregon? Ooooops! I forgot! Auburn is closer to Bristol than Eugene Oregon! That’s how they scored it. It is a clear-cut case of 100% pure unadulterated, unalloyed East-Coast Bias!

Let’s be clear: ESPN runs college football, both on their networks and ABC. Their impact on their BCS rankings is quantum. They are responsible for this travesty.

I love the World Series this year

Folks, I am not much of a fan of Baseball. I am no fan of the Rangers. I am no fan of the Giants. I am a life-long Dodger fan. With that said, I am going to watch every game of the series this year, and I am going to enjoy the fucking hell out of it.

Do you want to know why? ESPN has 982,288 tons of egg all over their collective face. I absolutely love the fact that the East Coast is shut-out of the World Series. ESPN analysts were utterly sure the Giants were (are) a team put together out of bubble-gum and duck-tape. They were also sure that the Rangers were no match for the mighty Yankees.

Why were they sure of this? Because Philly and NY are very close to Bristol Connecticut, that’s why. Their East Coast Bias was never stronger than in the run up to the World Series this year. They were so utterly sure that the Yanks would rematch with the Phillies this year it was pathetic. It made you wonder why they were even going to play the games.

I am so damn delighted that the Giants shoved a red-hot poker up ESPN’s arse that I am going to declare a temporary ban on my hatred for them. I am actually going to pull, gently, for the Giants. Again, ESPN’s bias is showing. They believe the Rangers will win the Series because Dallas is closer to Bristol than San Francisco.

Be assured, their logic is no better than that.

Texas Death-Match in the Steel Cage

The happiest guy in the world is Warren Moon. He is no longer the NFL's all-time leading fumbler. Brett Favre first tied and then broke then all-time fumble record set by Warren moon more than a decade ago. Frankly, he looked like shit. Yep, that is right. Brett Farve is the NFL's all-time leading fumbler in addition to the all-time leading interception thrower.

Now stick that in you penis photos and smoke it. Why you fuckers love this guy so much I will never understand. I just don't get it.

But this leads us to a truly delicious moment in the (so-far) disaster-bust season of 2010: An all-out death match elimination between the Dallas Cowboys and the Minnesota Vikings. The looser goes to 1-4, and realistic hopes of a Super Bowl are pretty well shot to shit at that point. I am smelling blood like a shark in the water. Let the bloodbath begin.

Now we all know it is a long season. We all know the NFC is an all-out mess. Both teams will still have 11 more games to go. One can finish 12-4, and the other can finish 11-5. In theory they can both finish 11-4-1. I seriously, seriously doubt it. Realistically, both teams are playing badly. The one who looses is will be the worst of two seriously under-performing football teams.

I'm going to make a prediction: The coach that looses get's the ax. Neither the Cowboys nor the Vikings are going to take going to 1-4 well. If Childress looses, he's out. If Philips looses, he's out. Death-match elimination!

Dallas must return to the hefty bag... errr.... Mall of America Field to play the Vikings where they were eliminated last year. Of course, this gives the Vikings something of an advantage. I am going to lay down a prediction: Dallas wins this one. Wade Phillips has a tendency to rise to the occasion when he knows it is a life-and-death situation. Chili does not have that rep, and for good reason.

So Sam Bradford reminds you of Troy Aikman, aye?

Did I have something to do with that?

I seem to recall doing a comprehensive blade-job on the very notion of drafting a QB #1. I wrote a piece called "The Only Time it Every Worked Out" prior to the 2010 draft and I sited Troy Aikman and the Cowboys as the one and only time taking a QB #1 resulted in an all-out, smash-bang hit for the team that selected him.

The object was to spell out in absolutely clear terms what ungodly low-percentages you face when selecting a QB #1 in the draft.

At the end of that piece, I compared the 4 QBs at the top of the heap in 2010 to Troy Aikman. I found all of them wanting in one respect or another. I stated that the only dude who even kinda sorta reminded me of Troy was my bambino: Tim Tebow.

Shortly after that I began reading so-called leaks from the Rams organization that stated Sam was the most accurate passer since Troy Aikman. I raised one eyebrow like Spock, and wondered how Peyton Manning felt about that statement. I felt the statement was self-refuting and left it at that.

Then all of a sudden, I hear famous scouts declaring Sam had the best private workout since Troy Aikman. Interesting... I thought they said the same thing about JaMarcus Russell.

Then suddenly, after Devaney drafts Sam, he decides that Sam is going to wear #8 rather than #14. Of course, it is a violation of sports taboos to renumber a QB between college and the pros. We superstitious dudes believe that this often leads to busts. What was the reason for this violation of superstitious taboos? Keenan Burton, a WR who did not make the squad (on one of the most depleted WR rosters around) had already been allocated #14. Surely there must be a better excuse for that?

Devaney and Bradford felt it was a nice tribute to fellow Oklahoma QB and #1 pick Troy Aikman. Incidentally, he graduated from my alma mater UCLA, not Oklahoma as the conference falsely stated.

Now, Michael Irvin is singing this song. He says Sam is a good professional young quarterback, much like Troy. Of course, we know that the NFL Network is the official mouthpiece of the 32 teams of the league. They are asked to single certain promotional songs to stir-up the echoes of official promo statements made by the 32 teams.

While it does my heart some good to think this just might work out after all, I have considerable reservations about these comparisons. Are these comparisons warranted? Let us count the similarities:

1. They are both quarterbacks
2. They are both from Oklahoma
3. They are both right handed
4. They are both around 6-4
5. They were both #1 picks
6. They are both extremely accurate.
7. They were both highly professional young QBs (at least once upon a time)
8. They are both Scorpios

There is a bit of data-noise in each of those statements, but I will set that aside. Suffice it to say, I think the comparison is strained. I watched both of them play through their entire college and Pro careers thus far, and I think there are systematic, health, mechanical and stylistic differences that make them plenty distinct.

Don't you think so?

Of course, my draft campaign failed utterly, however, I did raise some hullabaloo inside Ram-circles. I wonder if I mounted a unsuccessful pressure campaign that raised enough ruckus to draw some direct counter-measures? What do you think?

Week One, 2010

I have been slow in finalizing my picks for this season due to the fact that Pre-Season didn't furnish me with much certainty about what would happen this year. It was kind of a blah pre-season as pre-seasons go.

Cheating though it may be, I will post my pre-season predictions after the double-header tonight. I will publish my final predictions sometime Tuesday evening. It is a good think I waited. Week one was full of surprises that shed light on the upcoming season.

The Bengals go pop

The Bengals v. Patriots game was the first bit of light shed on the new season. The Bengals are a team know for their booms and busts. They rarely follow one playoff campaign with another. This has been true throughout their history. Although it would appear that the Bengals increased their ammo supply during the off season, they sure played like pooh-poo dooh-doo yesterday morning.

Don't compare this season's Week-One loss to that of last season. The Bengals had a fast-starting Denver team beaten, on the last week one, when suddenly the Immaculate Deflection struck. The Bengals played very well in that game; more than well enough to win. They were just robbed by fate.

Let's make no mistake about this: The Bengals got blown out by the Patriots. This was never a competitive game. The Patriots knocked them out and stomped on them. The logical inference is not that the Patriots are strong in 2010. The logical inference is that the Bengals are going flat after a good season, just as they have in so many years prior to this one.

My conclusion is that the Bengals got stomped by a suspect and vulnerable Patriot crew primarily because Carson Palmer did not perform well at all at the QB position. Make no mistake, Carson has never quite lived up to his billing as an elite QB. Now he is looking more and more like Jim Everett 2.0; but not quite that good.

Going into this season, we all know that Palmer is on the hot seat. Right now Palmer is 0-1 when it comes to making his case in 2010.

The Bengals also suffered something of a defensive failure, but I think that was triggered by the inability of the offense to stay on the field and eat the clock, as they did so well last season.

The lesson I take from this is clear: The Bengals will not contend in 2010, and the Ravens have an even stronger position to launch a Super Bowl run.

What the hell happened to the 49ers?

How did the Seahawks crush the 49ers? Chris Berman said it best: "This, above all results today, has us scratching our heads." The 49ers are not a great team, just a good one. However, the Seahawks do not look anything like a playoff team to my eye. How the hell did the Seahawks destroy the 49ers?

What we saw was a full-blown system failure for the 49ers. They failed offensively, and Alex Smith did not look at all like a franchise QB. Unfortunately, they also failed defensively, allowing the Seahawks 38 points. How did that happen to this potentially-elite Mike Singltary defense? This I find shocking.

Don't read too much into this. As a famous New Orleans bluesman once sang: Even the Sun shines on a dogs ass some days. I have a hunch this may just turn out to be a fluke game. Last season, the Seahawks opened by crushing my Rams 28-0. They went 4-11 in the next 15 games and finished as the 6th worst team in the league.

The Jinx

The Colts are suffering the Super Bowl loser's jinx. What did I tell you about that thing? It is real and powerful and effective. During the deep off season, I shocked some people by making the Texans my favorite to win the South.

Right now, I think it is a two horse race: Titans vs. Texans. The Colts are bringing up the rear. I think the Titans have a distinct advantage.

The Giant defense seems much-improved.

Perry Fewell seems like the man of the our in New York. The Giant defense looked good yesterday, drastically better than last year. They victimized the Panthers as we would expect them to. If things continue to improve, expect the Giants to the lead the East for the duration of 2010.

Based on limited data, the Giants could be the best team in the East.

The Vick controversy

Let's just say that the Kobb era didn't get up and fly yesterday. I'll give you the two key reasons. First, Kobb looks like the second coming of Shaun Hill. Second, Andy Reid was calling a classic West-Coast game, and the WCO is an outmoded, outdated, obsolete offense that just doesn't work anymore.

You saw how easily the Packers were nailing the Eagles in the early going. I assure you, that was not because of the struggles of a young QB. That was because of the ease with which you can counter-measure the WCO system.

The second Kobb goes down with a concussion, and Vick goes in, the WCO playbook gets tossed out, and the Eagles begin to surge. Reid is a true believer in the WCO. He is not going to give up his religion without a fight. However, he would be best served to just let Vick play.

I am not a fan of the crazy gunslinger and the sandlot QB type, but that style of offense works better than the WCO does. It will produce more yards and more points and more gray hair for NFC DCs than the WCO will

The curse of Alex Barron

I hope you were watching the Sunday night game. It all came down to the final seconds. Tony Romo throws a game winning touchdown pass to Roy Williams in the right corner of the end zone. The Cowboys win! Nope! Guess again. There is yellow laundry on the green grass. Alex Barron, 6th year man from Florida State held mr. Brian Orakpo of the Texas Longhorns. Oh shit! Is that the ball game? Yep, holding #71 offense. That's the end of the game folks. Redskins win. Good night, and good luck.

The penalty was absolutely decisive. Without the penalty, the Cowboys win. With the penalty the Redskins win. The whole game turned on just one penalty. Jeezzzeee... I would hate to be Alex Barron right now.

You should have seen the Play Maker Michael Irvin on the NFL wrap-up show. The frustration! The exasperation! The anger! To quote Irvin: "I told him in training camp 'YOU SIT YOUR FAT BUTT DOWN AND BLOCK FOR 3 SECONDS'".

Michael was killing me. I was laughing my ass off. Play Maker, you do not know how many Sundays over the course of the past 5 years I have screamed at my HDTV "YOU SIT YOUR SCRAWNY ASS DOWN AND BLOCK FOR 3 SECONDS!" At 6-7 and 325 pounds, I think Alex is actually pretty scrawny. He has less than 10 pounds of fat on his body. You have to give him credit for that much. Nevertheless, I said essentially the same thing as the Play maker, about 875 million times.

I feel your pain, Mike. Furthermore, you are feeling the pain I (and all Ram fans) experienced for the past 5 years. I don't understand Alex Barron. He's got every gift God ever gave an offensive lineman, except intelligence, and he wrecks it savagely by committing all these stupid penalties. Herm Edwards claims that the offensive linemen are usually the smartest guys on the team. Not Alex. You cannot get this guy to eliminate mistakes.

Back in the deep off-season, when I made Dallas my mild-favorite to win the NFC, I worried about whether my Rams had injected the poison pill into the Cowboys' fuel mixture. This worry already seems like a serious concern.

I am sure Billy Devaney was sweating a bit after dealing Barron for Carpenter and then subsequently releasing Carpenter. Essentially, he gave away Barron of nothing. Then, when you see Barron in the starting lineup for the Cowboys... It doesn't look so good for Devaney. When you hear that former Ram coach Jim Hasslet, a guy you fired, is targeting Barron because he is sure Barron will screw up... Well... it's cold comfort.

Then comes vindication. Barron makes the decisive penalty play that costs the Cowboys a win in his first week as a starter. Awe crap... The Ram fans who didn't want to flush Barron--and there were not many of them--all looked at each other and said: "Maybe Devaney was right... this time."

The Rape of Detroit

Now for the truly egregious moment of the week! The Lions get a game winning touchdown pass without franchise QB Matt Stafford, and the Zebras take it away upon further review. Let's make no mistake: the Refs sodomized the Lions like a Jailhouse rapist going to work on new meat in the shower.

I am wearing my Calvin Johnson jersey and a black arm-band all day long. I am protesting this injustice.

I know you are going to quote the fucking rule book. That ain't nothing but good 'ole fashion communism. I know a touchdown when I see one, and that was a touchdown. He lost control of the football as he was standing up to go celebrate. That was a catch with full control in the endzone.

The refs are lucky they were in Chicago. In Detroit, they might have come down with a bad case of Columbian Neck-Ties.

What did I chastise Lion Management about?

Folks, when I was setting team goals for the Rams, pass protection and sack-reduction were of paramount importance. I sited Detroit as the perfect example of how not to do things. Matt Stafford finished his rookie campaign needing not one but two surgeries. Still, the Lions got him no viable pass protection in the 2010 draft, or in free agency.

I stated that this was incredibly stupid, and now look what has happened. I accused the Detroit management of digging the kid an early grave. Guess what? Detroit will not be getting up off the carpet in 2010, and they will not make a run. Why? Matt Stafford is out for the next 4-6 weeks with an injured passing shoulder. Don't expect him to perform perfectly when he returns. Expect another off-season surgery.

You see, this is what comes of Buttism. You cannot draft players based on how many seats they will fill. As much as I love Jahvid Best, it would have been better to take a Left Tackle.

Is Sam Bradford next?

So the Left Tackle the Lions didn't take (Rodger Saffold) is now a Ram. I have profoundly mixed observations about the Rams line, and mixed feelings about what I am about to say about them. The Rams line looked considerably better than last year in week 1. They still did not look like a high quality line. Usually, it takes 5-6 weeks for an OL unit to jell, and show signs of a little team work.

There are several questions. Will this line jell? If they jell in 5 to 6 weeks, will that be soon enough to keep Bradford healthy. Is this unit talented enough to protect Bradford?

You did notice that the Cardinals were opening some mighty big running holes yesterday, right? They kinda looked like the New York Jets last season. Awe shit! Look at the guy wearing #66! Is that Alan Faneca? Gheeze... isn't he that washed up dude the Jets released? Booouuuyyy! Look at dem holes in the defensive line. The HD video is pretty clear.

Man, wouldn't Steven Jackson benefit from holes like that? How are the Jets doing at the Left Guard position? Did I hear somebody say that Hard-Knocks exposed shitty performance for the Jets at the Left Guard position?

I categorically rejected all the absolute bullshit floating around about Faneca in the immediate aftermath of his release from the Jets. I knew it was a salary dump. I knew the Jets' management was spin doctoring with heaping helpings of disinformation.

What I have seen this preason...

The first two weeks of this pre-season pretty well blew past me without much of a notable result. Everything went exactly as I expected. In particular, Tebow flashed strong immediately, and the Rams offensive line flashed weak immediately. Other than that, nothing impressed me much in week 1 or 2 of the preseason.

That changed this week, and it is well it should. The third preseason game is the so-called "dressed rehearsal" for the regular season. I saw a number of things that impressed me a great deal. Let me count them down for you.

Javid Best is going to be the AP Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2011

The kid is looking flat-out dynamic so far. I am seeing flashes of Marshall Faulk all over the place. The sky is the limit for this kid, and Matt Stafford can't be more overjoyed about it. Now with Calvin Johnson, Javid Best and Matt Stafford, I am wondering whether Detroit is going to get up off the carpet and make one hell of a surprise run.

I have been soooo impressed by this kid, that I have already purchased his #44 jersey in white. I intend to wear that Jersey for the very first time on September 2, 2010, to celebrate my 44th birthday. Congrats kid! You impressed me so much that you convinced me not to wear the Dallas Clark jersey, and I think the world of Dallas Clark.

The Ravens look like the Super Bowl 45 champions

You better watch out for these guys. They are looking scary. This could be the most impressive end-to-end team I have seen this preseason. The super-duper off-season the Ravens had impressed me a great deal. I made them the tentative-prohibitive favorite [if that makes any sense] in the AFC based on their fantastic off-season.

That high-quality off-season is generating tangible yields, right now, in the 2010 preseason. The Ravens look very strong to me.

The main problem with the Ravens these past two years has been their own internal distrust of their passing game. They have wanted to bring Flacco along slowly, not putting too much on his plate. Now they seem to trust Flacco and are willing to put the team in his hands. Now they are showing flashes of a dynamic offense that can throw well and run like hell.

They will also beat the shit out of you defensively.

This is a goooooooood looking football team. I am mighty damn impressed by these guys.

The Saints look more than prepared to defend their crown

There ain't no sign of a let-down in New Orleans. I must say, it does might heart good to think they might defend their title. If so, they will be the first NFC team to win back-to-back titles since the Cowboys did it in 1995. I have to say: It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of fellas and better city.

I am hoping you will pull it off, New Orleans.

The Packers look like they have a Hurricane offense, but a somewhat suspect defense.

The Packers offense look like the 1st Air-Cav division: death from above. Aaron Rodgers is shooting the lights out with a 141 passer efficiency rating. If you watch the film, he looks better than the rating sounds. I saw him make effortless tight-window throws against the Colts' [pretty elite] defense. He made it look easy, and those were not easy throws. 9 out of 10 quarterbacks in this league would have had trouble making all of those throws.

Aaron Rodgers will replace Payton Manning as the NFL's All-Pro QB and MVP in 2010 if this continues. There ain't no doubt about it. He is that good. There is a reason why he is the #1 guy in everybody's fantasy pool right now.

The one problem is a suspect running defense which has given up a number of big runs this preseason. I see some deficiencies in the fundamentals of tackling here. I saw visions of Vince Lombardi screaming "GRAB! GRAB! GRAB! NOBODY'S TACKLING!" You also need to be concerned about the fact that a less-than-physical Colts O-Line shredded your front-7.

I see flashes of the Super Bowl looser's jinx on the Colts

Folks, it ain't just one thing either. First, 49ers tie one on them. Now we see that the NFL has messed up the Colts' much feared no-huddle offense. Just as their running game begins to impress us all, Joseph Addai goes down with a concussion.

Understand that the Super Bowl loser's jinx began in the year 1970 with a Don Shula,/Johnny Unitas Baltimore Colts team. That Colt team was at least as good, and probably better, than this Colt team. You can argue they were better coached by Shula. Just immediately after going 13-1, that Colt team finished 7-7, and struggled all the way. The next year (1971) those Colts would return to the Super Bowl, and win it all against the Cowboys.

That was an historically great team that struggled psychologically after loosing the big one. The Super Bowl loser's jinx is real and powerful and effective. The Colts know all about it. You know more about it than I do.

The Cowboy offense looks like shit

During the deep-off season, I joined many in thinking that the Cowboys had to be a mild-favorite to win the NFC. With a sharply weakened NFC-East, and an improved passing attack, I thought the Cowboys might enjoy a cake-walk to home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, including the Super Bowl.

Right now I am officially off the Cowboys' bandwagon. What I have seen is an ugly-struggling offense that has not pierced the end-zone this preseason... at least the 1st stringers haven't. Most problematic is the offensive line. It looks like you guys inherited the curse of Alex Barron. Now your offensive line looks like keystone cops at a Chinese fire-drill.

I am being a little facetious here. Alex has actually looked pretty good for Cowboys so far, but the rest of the line, particularly the interior looks like abject and absolutely reprehensible shit. There is no way you guys are going to go to the Super Bowl with a line that looks like that. You got some work to do, and it might be as difficult as the work the Rams have to do.

The Patriot defense looks like shit

And I mean wet, running, stinky, nasty, stenching cat shit too! If you think otherwise, you have a lot of explaining to do. Some say that the Patriots never show you anything but a 'vanilla look' during the preseason. Folks, that is not sufficient to explain what I saw against the Rams.

Understand that the NFL's 32nd ranked offense, an offense that averaged only 10.9 points per game last season, an offense that was shutout by the Redskins and the Seahawks (bottom 10 teams) just went up to New England and popped 17 points on the board before you got up to take a piss.

The Rams went on to score 36. The Patriots kept Tom Brady in the game until the 4th quarter, trying to make it look closer than it actually was. The Patriot broadcast team heaped praise on Bradford to avoid heaping condemnation on Bellichick's defense.

The praise for Bradford was mostly ledgit, but you dropped the ball by failing to condemn the Patriots defense. They looks pretty damn slow and unathletic to me. That defense just doesn't look competitive. They are more than suspect at this point.

Right now, I think 2010 is the year the wheels fall off of that Patriot defense. It would make sense. The hoodie has been keeping it going with smoke and mirrors for the past year.

Jesus looks like shit

So, I trust we are all familiar with the pecular story of Charlie Whitehurst, correct? My favorite piece on BleacherReport.com was titled "Jesus Christ to start at Quarterback in Seattle". I wrote that piece, by the way. The Seahawk fans dug it. I got a lot of nice praise for that humorous piece.

I wanted to make the point that there ain't no way in hell Charlie Whitehurst is the future of the Seahawk organization. I knew that when the trade went down. Whitehurst is a short-term stop-gap solution for the Seahawks for those occasions in 2010 when Matt is injured. Matt is often injured, by the way.

I fully expect the Seahawks to go after a certain fellow by the name of Jake Locker in this upcoming 2011 draft. He is the hometown hero, and he is being developed by Pete's buddy and former offensive coordinator Steve.

Incidentally, more than 60% of the Seahawk fans agreed with me. The polls indicates that they believe Jesus... errr... Charlie is a stop-gap, and Jake Locker is the man of the future in Seattle. Many of them are begging for this outcome. The only doubt comes from those who just don't think the Seahawks will be in a position to take Locker. They all want him.

Charlie is not giving them a reason to stop begging. He's got a QB passer rating of 61. I know he has thrown for a lot of yards, but he has not looked good doing so. Right now, he does not resemble a starting QB in the National Football League.

The Cardinal look poised for a fall, regrettably.

What I say now, I say with a heavy heart: The Cardinals look like they are going down. Not only did they deal Anquan, not only did Kurt Warner retire, not only did Larry Fitzgerald get hurt, but now Derek Anderson is looking like their top QB with an efficiency rating of 70.2. In the immortal words of Herm Edwards, "I'm calling Kurt Warner".

This is not good. I enjoyed watching the Cardinals compete over the past two seasons. I do not like seeing teams occupy the post of "perennial doormats". I enjoyed seeing the Cards get up and make a Super Bowl run.

Now it looks to me as if they are going to rejoin the cellar dwellers at the bottom of the heap. They may want to compete with the Seahawks for Jake Locker. In the meantime, you need to get Sage Rosenfels from the Vikings.

The Rams do look better, but the Jim Plunkett 2.0 remake is still on schedule

The Rams flashed a strong offense against the Patriots, but don't get too hyped about that just yet. All along, I have been warning of a Hollywood remake of the Jim Plunket story.

Do you remember that story? A brilliant Heisman trophy winning passer gets selected #1 by a football team with a shit-ass offensive line. He flashes strong, winning rookie of the year, and even defeating the mighty Raiders. All the way along the line, he takes hit after hit. Eventually the hits take their toll and he starts getting injured.

Fortunately, Jim's career had a happy ending. Mr. Al Davis put him behind one of the finest offensive lines in league history, and he detonated.

Ram fans need to be keenly aware of this historical example as we watch the Sam Bradford story unfold. Already Donnie Avery has been lost for the season on a fluke ACL tear. Lost in the turmoil of the injury was the fact that Sam Bradford got ax-handled on the very same play. I am talking about a high-velocity hit that launched Sam off his feet and pancaked him. He shook it off, just as Jim Plunkett did after so many hits. That fact is cold comfort for Ram fans.

Former 49er Randy Cross praise Bradford's poise, and warned that the Patriot defense was "massaging his chops" after every throw. Things are out-of-order on the Rams offensive line. This needs to be fixed, real soon.

The Rams also need to trade for a certain receiver in San Diego, but you didn't hear this suggestion from me. If I suggest it, Devaney will never make the deal.

The NFC East is going to be competitive?

So I heard the guys on NFL Total Access agreeing that the NFC East was going to be the most competitive division in 2010. I have on thing to say to that: Nope, fuck no.

Let's get this straight. The Redskins were dog-shit in 2009, finishing 4-12 and drafting #4 overall. The one modestly good looking unit on the team was the 4-3 defense they had. So, they fire the defensive coordinator, blow-up the ship, flush the 4-3 down the toilet, and convert to the 3-4. They are now in the 1st year of a big QB transition, which is always traumatic, a new offensive system, and a new defensive. All this is true, and you expect them to be competitive?

Ha! Nah! Nope! Not going to happen.

So the Eagles have blown Donovan McNabb out the door, and they are in the first year of a quarterback transition, which is always traumatic. They are going to this young kid Kobb, who is a major X factor, and you expect them to be competitive? Let us remember, the Packers fell from 13-3 to 6-10 in the first year of their transition from Favre to Rodgers. That was quite unexpected, and they did have an excellent to superb kid ready to come in and play for them.

So the Eagles are going to compete? Ha! Nah! Nope! Not going to happen.

Now we have the Giants, the first authentic possibility on the list. The Giants were crushed by the loss of Steve Spagnuolo last season. Their proud defense fell to #30, and was worse than the Rams, a fact I still find shocking as hell. I haven't been able to stuff my green eyes back in their sockets since I saw those stats. Shocking as hell!

If the Giants have found a good defensive coordinator to replace Spags, they might be on their way. They had a nice draft. They got some nice free agents. I like what they did.

It all comes down to Perry Fewell. The weight of the New York Giants is upon his shoulders. If he does a good job, the Giants could rebound big-time. So what about Perry Fewell? I know absolutely nothing about him. He is a complete X factor in my book. He is an unknown quantity.

So, as you can see gentlemen, it all comes down to the Cowboys. This is their division to win. I think only the Giants have a prayer of challenging the Cowboys. If Giants don't challenge, the Cowboys will have a free and unobstructed run to the playoffs. They will cruise to a division title in a non-competitive NFC East.

Until I see every 1st quarter of the pre-season, I will stick to my guns and declare that the Cowboys are the mild favorite to win the NFC. Plenty of challenge may from from Green Bay, Atlanta and New Orleans.

Let's not rule out the possibility of a surprise story in the NFC. It would shock the world if a team like Detroit got up off the carpet and made a 1999 Ram or 1981 49er run.

Just a brief word about the Barron-Carpenter Trade

I don't have a whole lot to say about the Barron-Carpenter trade. I think it is as it has been characterized by the pundits: Two teams trading trash. Perhaps one man's trash can become another man's treasure. We all hope so.

Tulsa world is criticizing Spagnuolo and Devaney pretty sharply for making this deal.

http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/OU/article.aspx?subjectid=92&articleid=20100511_202_B1_SOMECH883217

The author argues that there are enough concerns about Jason Smith's health, Rodger Saffold's health, and Sam Bradford's health to warrant keeping Alex Barron around. His case is well made, and enough to give me pause... for about 8.2 seconds.

Bottom line folks: Barron is nowhere near as good as his defenders would have you believe 15 sacks in the past 32 games is pretty terrible. His defenders attempt to characterize that as an "average" performance. Oh bouy....

Let's play with that statement mathematically for a split second and see where that leads us. If all 5 of my men on the offensive line are average performers, and they each give up 15 sacks in 2 seasons, my offensive line will give up 75 sacks in 32 games (5 x15 = 75). That is an average of 2.34 sacks per game, or 37.5 sacks per season.

For the Rams 37.5 would be an improvement over the 44 we gave up last season, but still unacceptable. So here you have your explanation for the controversy over Barron: Barron gave up less sacks than some of the other guys, but this is damning with faint praise.

Even so, there should be no controversy. The penalties were the back breaker in the deal. 43 false starts in 74 starts? How many holding calls...? Although he has a big body for his position, the guy just doesn't play well.

Ram-fans seem to have such incredibly low standards these days... it is almost sickening. They don't seem to realize that we are never going to get out of the basement with "average" linemen such as this. To get out of the basement, we're going to need dramatically better talent than Barron brings to the table. None of these guys seem to recall Jackie Slater or Orlando Pace in their primes. They are just too young. I remember both of them. Barron was never like these two gents.

"Oh well, Dave, you can't expect to have guys like Jackie Slater or Orlando Pace all the time..."

No, that's precisely where you are wrong. We need to have guys like Slater and Pace around all the time. That needs to be a focal point of the organization. I am not surprised Devaney did this deal. I didn't think he would want Barron blocking for his $80 million baby.

So can Saffold be Slater and Smith-Pace, or vice-versa. Let's just say I am a hell of a lot more confident in these young men than I am in Barron. It is much more likely that both of these two men will turn into Slater & Pace than Barron would. After 5 years, we know what Barron is, and he ain't Slater or Pace.

So why not keep him as a back-up swing-tackle? I must confess that this is an interesting argument. Early in his career, Barron had a rep for being a flaming complainer. I doubt he would take a move to the bench very well. You have to be careful of that locker-room chemistry and atmosphere. Further, I don't think Devaney would want Barron blocking for Bradford even then.

If you read the comments on that Tulsa World article, you are going to read several folks who share my great concerns about Sam Bradford's robustness and physical toughness. The absolute premise of this piece is that Sam is fragile and the Rams line is not good. Several posting there think the Bradford era is going to be a short one in St. Louis.

How many times did I preach that message with conviction during the run up to the draft? How many times did I say that this whole thing was going to end in tears? How many times did I say they should be scouting Tebow, not Bradford?

Frankly, there can be only two possible reasons Devaney did not go after Tebow:

1. Devaney bought into the line that Tebow is not QB prospect. If this is the case, we have a fool at the helm and we need to change that quick.
2. Devaney believes Tebow is going to be a 2-3 year investment project before he bears fruit, and he is looking for a much more immediate turnaround on investment. He's taking a bigger risk for more immediate return. I think that is a snake-eyed bet.

We'll find out.

Anyhow, the Barron-Carpenter trade does not fundamentally alter the situation. It does not change the shape of things to come. It will eliminate a bunch of penalties. That is all.

My take on the McNabb trade and the NFC East

So, I have to eat some crow. The McNabb trade did happen. You punks in the media are lucky. I was going to beat you down at the start of the 2010 season. You have avoided an ass-whipping of historic proportions. I wanted to be noted that Mike Florio is still a liar, and he was totally off base. The truth has come out and the Rams were never in the hunt for McNabb. His talk of "...McNabb being in St. Louis as early as Friday [several weeks ago]" was utterly wacko.

So what's my take on this trade?

1. The Eagles were crazy to deal McNabb for an unproven commodity like Kevin Kolb.
2. The Eagles' situation is not comparable to the Favre+Packer situation. McNabb is a lot younger than Favre, and he never did the "I'm retiring/I'm back" disco dance.
3. The Eagles will now enter a rebuilding/transition phase. They will win less games not more. The Eagles were 11-5 last season, I doubt they will be close to that this season. Perhaps they will finish 8-8.
4. Consider the Packers. They had a super QB sitting on the bench in Aaron Rodgers. Nevertheless, a team that was 13-3 in 2007 fell to 6-10 in 2008 largely because of the transition. Of course, the defense had much to do with it, but the Packer offense was not nearly as explosive in 2008 as 2007.
5. Do you think Kolb is as good as Rodgers? The Philly homer may want to say yes. The objective observer from the West does not think so. Rodgers may very well prove himself the best QB in the league this season, provided he stays healthy. He looks like one of the most deadly QBs in the league from my point of view. If the Packers can just cut the damn sacks down from 51 to 30, Rodgers may well take the MVP title from Peyton Manning this season. I seriously doubt Kolb is close to that level. Maybe I am wrong, but in my experience, a QB that good rarely comes along. I doubt we will see two such powerful QBs emerge so quickly in succession.
6. If Kolb is substantially less a QB than Rodgers, expect the Eagles transition to be worse than the Packers.
7. Dealing your QB within the division is stupid and borderline suicidal. Take it from me, a Ram fan. We dealt Jim Everett--a QB who lead a parallel life to McNabb in many respects--inside our division to the New Orleans Saints. Everett crucified every time we played against him. He knew our defense inside and out. He knew who was weak. He knew how to burn him. He knew all this from countless hours of scrimmaging against our defense, and hear the DC complain about guys.
8. Consider Sonny Jurgensen, a distant relative of mine on my mama's side of the family. The Eagles dealt him to the Redskins and he immediately threw 5 TD passes against the Eagles at the first opportunity. Believe me, history repeats itself: The first time as tragedy, the second time as farce.
9. Consider what Favre is doing to the Packers right now. I realize that Jared Allen was a major key to victory in both those games, but they would not have out-scored the powerful Packer offense without Favre in either case.
10. Consider the fact that Shanahan is now in Washington. Sorry to inform you of this, but Shanahan is better than Reid. It isn't just because of the 2 rings that I say that. They already have a fairly nasty defense. Now Shanahan and McNabb are going to boot-strap his offense into the picture. You have much to be concerned about.
11. The Eagles now have a lot of picks, but this has been the case for the past several years. The pattern is pretty clear. Most of the offensive choices do well. Most of the defensive choices don't. There are exceptions on both sides, but this is the pattern. If the pattern holds, a significant number of 2010 picks will be wasted on defensive players who don't pan out.

In conclusion, I see the East as a two-horse race. The Giants are rebuilding their defense, but they will chase the Cowboys from behind. The Cowboys now have to be the prohibitive favorite to win the East. If the Cowboys don't win the East, the 2010 Cowboys will be an utter disgrace to the lone star of Texas. If they don't win its a shame.

I expect some back-biting, recriminations and drama once the Eagles get into the heavy water of 2010. I wish you well, but I think you just jammed your dick in the door and slammed it. Like Mayock says "Be careful of what you wish for, because you just might get it."

The only time it ever worked out, Dallas and Troy Aikman

Each and every year, a team fresh off a disastrous season selects #1 overall in the NFL Draft. This fine year of 2010, that team is is my Rams. Many times, this team fresh off of disaster elects a quarterback with that first overall pick in the draft. When they do so, they are full of hopes and dreams that this guy will turn the ship around, raise the fortunes of the team, lead them to many Super Bowl victories, and make a dynasty out of a poor team. The young man is anointed as the savior of the franchise.

How often does it work out? I can find only one clear-cut case in NFL history where it did work out. That fellow was Troy Aikman of UCLA, selected #1 overall by the Dallas Cowboys in the 1989 NFL Draft.

It wasn't Terry Bradshaw. He was considered a bust for a bunch of seasons before the 1978 rules changes, changed his fortunes as a passer. He still threw about 27 TDs and 24 Ints per season after that.

We also have problems with Peyton Manning here, but the Colts cannot truly be considered a dynasty at this point. They have a bunch of good seasons, but only 1 Super Bowl victory. Peyton could still lock down a couple more rings before he is done. If so, we will be able to say that there were two clear cut cases, but at this moment there is only one.

What about John Elway? Did that really work out for the Colts who drafted him? No.

What about Jim Plunkett? Did that really work out for the Patriots who drafted him? Hummmm... Nah, not really. It worked okay for the Raiders... eventually.

What about Eli Manning? Did that work out for the Chargers who took him? No.

What about Michael Vick? Aaaahhhh... How do you think the Falcons view that pick now?

How about JaMarcus Russell?

No folks, there is only one clear cut case where drafting a QB at the top of the first round ever produced a savior, a Hall Of Famer, multi-championship dynasty, and everything the organization ever wanted when they took the guy. That was Troy Aikman.

This is the reason why Aikman is still the Golden Boy of the NFL. This is why he is revered as a god-like QB by all those who watched his career. This is why people keep wondering if he is going to run for president someday. They expect him to win, too.

Aikman shouldered the pressure of being the Dallas Cowboy QB and savior with little signs of stress. He took one hell of beating in his first year as a pro with few signs of injury. He survived with his confidence and his health intact. He was accepted by Cowboy greats like Roger Staubach immediately as another Cowboy great. He was at his best in the NFC Championship games and Super Bowls. He led the Cowboys on a tear through the 1990s. They won 3 Super Bowls in just 4 years. They would have had more, but the salary cap and poor head coaches killed them. Aikman was not the limiting factor in the equation at any time. He survived a nasty concussion administered by Dennis Brown. He never had a personal scandal during his entire life. He went into the Hall of Fame on the first ballot. He was one hell of player, and a better man.

As my Rams get ready to draft in this fine year of 2010, we need to ask ourselves a couple of very important questions:

1. Is Sam Bradford Troy Aikman?
2. Is Jimmy Clausen Troy Aikman?
3. Is Sam Bradford Peyton Manning?
4. Is Jimmy Clausen Peyton Manning?

I think the answers to 1 & 3 are clear and decisive "NO!" I rolled around on the floor laughing my ass off a few seconds ago when I wrote questions #2 and #4. Clausen is in no danger of being mistaken for Troy Aikman or Peyton Manning. Why don't you stand Clausen next to Aikman right now and see whether you notice some difference between these two men?

Some extremely foolish Ram fans may protest that I cannot downgrade these two candidates by comparing them to the most extreme cases of QB success in NFL history. Oh yeah? Why the hell not? You are talking about spending the #1 pick overall in the entire draft. We have only 1 and maybe 2 models of success for that pick. We need to use those two guys as the benchmark comparison for our candidates. If we don't have candidates that look like Aikman and Manning, we need to pass on them with that #1 pick.

One final thing. If you ask me which quarterback in this draft most resembles Aikman in terms of tangibles and intangibles, only one name comes to mind: Tim Tebow.

The Odds of winning SB44, Feb 2010 in Dolphin Stadium

So guess what? It appears that Vegas has just published its deep preseason verdict on the 32 franchises of the NFL. The Las Vegas odds of your team winning SB XLIV were just published by TheSpread.com. I am laughing my ass off. These little fuckers will never learn will they? I just blogged that all forms of predictability have broken down. I used their choice of Dallas vs. New England last year as the ultimate example of the folly of their method. Guess what? The little fuckers just went and did it again. I guess there is no fool like an old fool. The man assigned to pick the Super Bowl in preseason has been given a fools errand.

Guess who the favorites are to reach and win the Super Bowl? If the Odds makers are correct, New England will meet Dallas for the second straight year in the Super Bowl... er... they didn't play last year? You mean neither of these teams even qualified for the playoffs last season? But they were supposed to meet for the championship? How did the Cards get past Dallas? But... But... But... New England was supposed to go 16-0 again due to the weakness of their schedule?!?!? What happened?

You guys were full of shit, that's what happened. I know yah like to thank yo shit don't stank, but lean a little bit closer see your predictions smell like poo-poo-poo. Your predictions really smell like poo-poo-poo.

This all reminds me of Chris Berman picking the fucking Bills and 49ers 8 years in a row. It never happened. He just couldn't get off his obsession. Likewise for Vegas. Does anybody remember how many times Vegas picked the Raiders to meet the Cowboys during the 1970s? I think they were picked to meet something like 5 times and 3 straight between 1976 and 1978. Do you know how many times the Raiders met the Cowboys in the Super Bowl? Zero.

Now the Giants have 10/1 odds. The Steelers have 10/1 odds. The Cards have 30/1 odds. This is only slightly better than Buffalo who has 35/1 odds. The Jets have 25/1 odds. This means the Jets are more likely to reach the Super Bowl than the Cards, despite playing in the same division with the biggest favorite. How the fuck does that work?

The biggest long shots on the board are Kansas City and Detroit. Both have equal 100/1 odds. The next lowest odds belong to the Rams and Raiders at 75/1. The third match of the Bengals and 49ers is rated at 60/1.

Let's just say that this is the most amazing crock of shit I have yet smelled cooking a crock pot. If you think the Jags and Packers have better odds than the Cards, you are smoking something. Vegas must use the PFA method.

Yes, I know that the Super Bowl looser's jinks is real and powerful and effective. I said as much here. This time I am in doubt. Further, I just don't see a really powerful competitor for the Cards in the NFC, save the Giants. I know I am going to piss off 14 NFC cities with this statement, but I think the Giants are the only clear-cut quality team in the NFC. I'm not talking about talent. I am talking about team. The fallacy of preseason predictions is this: It is based on tallent evaulutation, not team work evaluation.

I don't buy the Philly story. I think that is bullshit. I don't buy the Viking story. I think it is equally bullshit. The Skins have proven again and again that you can't buy victory. $100m for Albert Haynesworth won't change that story. The Saints and the Falcons are the most interesting prospects, but there are many reasons to be uncertain of them. In the West, the Cards are alone and extremely tallented. I think they switched on and ignited as a team unit last year. Their offense was borderline sensational. Their special teams were excellent all year. Their Defense was inconsistent during the season, but tremendous during the playoffs.

Cards vs. Giants in the NFC championship.

Are you ready for the biggest Heavy Metal band in the history of the known universe?

Three Dallas Cowboy offensive linemen have formed a band called Free Reign. They just got signed. The album will be released this fall on Australia's Riot Entertainment Label.

http://news.google.com/news/more?um=1&ned=us&cf=all&ncl=dm5PiE6Y1UFWPYM-_yOT9JOn_w4gM

The three Cowboys are:

1. Leonard Davis: Quite possibly the biggest SOB on God's earth. He stands 6'6" and weighs 354 pounds at last count.
2. Marc Colombo: Also a very large SOB. He's 6'8" and a paltry 315 pounds.
3. Cory Proctor: He is the peewee of the group, He stands a mere 6'4" and is a flyweight at 297 pounds.

The guys in Slayer will shit themselves when they see these guys coming. I would hate to see Colombo next to Ronnie James Dio. These guys could easily make Motley Crue eat their own assholes.

How good are these guys? I listened to a couple of excerpts of their music published on their MySpace website, and they very not bad. I need to listen to some more to be sure, but at this moment, they get more than a passing grade.

Incidentally, I know what I am talking about. I have been a Heavy Metal fan since 1980 and the AC/DC Back In Black album. Yes, I remember when it was absolutely brand new stuff. I now have a collection of Metal/Industrial/Hard Rock which tips the scales at 330GB. That is 330 Gigabytes. That is not a misprint. I own the moral equivalent of the library of congress of Heavy Metal. I cannot stuff all my music into my 160GB iPod classic. I am quite pissed. We are long overdue for a 320GB unit, and I want it now.

Anyhow, Free Reign will be joining my collection soon.

http://www.myspace.com/freereign