Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Rooney Mara: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

So I just made an original discovery.  That is, nobody told me about this.  I found it myself.  Whilst sitting in the theater awaiting the start of Money Ball, I saw a preview for The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.  This is an English remake of the Scandinavian mystery thriller of the same name.

Incidentally, they did this with Let the Right One In and it really pissed me off.  The original was good enough to stand on its own with subtitles   But I digress...

The preview looked extremely twisted, but the movie features one of my favorite actors, the 27th and half James Bond himself, Daniel Craig.  Incidentally, he is a Pisces of 1968.  He's about a year and a half younger than me.

I decided to look the movie up to see what was happening.  It turns out that the girl with the dragon tattoo is none other than Rooney Mara.  This is the girl I remembered from The Social Network.  She was FaceBook founder Mark Zuckerberg's Boston College obsession, Erica Albright.  She was the girl that inspired it all.

I assure you, you won't recognize her in this role.  Her appearance could not be more different.

Do you want to know why she is named Rooney Mara?  Because she is 25% Art Rooney senior and 25%  Tim Mara.  You may or may not know the Chief Art Rooney who founded the Pittsburgh Steelers, or Tim Mara, the man who founded the New York football Giants.  Her papa, Chris, is a scout for the Giants.

This makes Rooney Mara, double NFL royalty.  Who does she cheer for on Sunday?  Is it the Steelers or is it the Giants?  Rich, you need to get her on your Pod Cast just as soon as you possibly can.  She is a New York girl born and raised in Bedford.

Anyhow, this 5'3" 26 year old little girl just happens to be an Aries born on April 17, 1985.  This was right about the time the Buffalo Bills were about to select Bruce Smith #1.  Bruce, can you believe it has been 26 years already?  I can't.  The 49ers were also preparing to draft Jerry the fairy Rice, the San Francisco treat.  I was about 1 year out of high school in those days.

My first reaction when I discovered she was the girl with the dragon tattoo was one of shock.  You know how conservative the Rooney clan is.  What in the world is her maternal clan going to say when they see this freaky movie?  For those who don't know, Rooney will be playing an extremely promiscuous, brilliant, self-mutilating, lesbian, goth, private detective.

These are not simply appellations they bestow upon her in exposition, either.  Nope, they are going to be in your face during the course of this movie.  The Rooney family really doesn't like the freaky stuff.  Ben Roethlisberger himself very nearly got whacked about year or two ago...

Sirus 1.1 claims I have some fairly sensational scores versus this girl, but I won't go into that...

In any case, the movie is set to land on 12/21/2011, exactly one year before the official end of the world, according to the Maya.  This will also be the last day of Sagittarius, and my buddy Sharique's wife's birthday.