Sunday, August 22, 2010

Super ultra hyper giaganto-titana-saurus-megalopolis scorpion

Dear friends, it would appear that I have made a dreadful and catastrophic mistake. Katy Perry is no Capricorn. The mistake is totally understandable. I had one hell of a concussion at the time. The report of the MRI indicated an 89mm (3.5 inch) subdural hematoma on the left hemisphere of my brain. It's tough to get the facts straight with that kind of brain damage.

Well, here we are a few weeks later and I have healed up. The error has been discovered. Katie Perry != Katy Perry. There is a Katie Perry who is a fashion designer in London, and she is of Australian parentage. She is a Capricorn. There is another Katy Perry from Santa Barbara, who is indeed a California Girl, and sings pop music. She is a Scorpio, and we're not just talking about any Scorpio either. We're talking an super ultra hyper mega Scorpio.

Have a look at the very nice Natal chart I have drawn up on Katy Perry. Terrifying, is it not?

In case you have forgotten Janet's words on the subject of Scorpios, I will refresh you memory.

Wow... Damn... The Star Goddess wasn't just whistling Dixie.

Incidentally, no other authorities I know of will corroborate Janet's take on Scorpio women. They are not great conquistadors. All indications show that they are pretty monogamous, and like to go deep. Highly intense sex is a form of surgery that allows them to get down to the core of the guy's being. That satisfies the intense need for intimacy that they 'so desperately crave'. These are not quick hitters with an on-deck circle. They are more like spiders who wish to ensnare you in their web, so they can drain all of your precious bodily fluids... after you have seasoned a bit.

Janet must have gotten burned by a Scorpio rival at some point or another.

Yeah, she's a bombshell, but I would be less than frank if told you that this new information didn't set off a red alert. Virgo-Scorpio is purported a pretty decent match-up, so I am not quite sure why this information has rattled my cage. Still, it has. Danger! Danger Will Robinson. Be careful with this one.

So, I already suggested that Tim Tebow should get himself a triple Scorpion. Is Katy Perry the one for Tim? I did an inquiry using a piece of Software called Kepler 7.0. The results of the Synastry analysis were great for a friendly rivalry, terrible for love, romance and sex. Consider the following results.

Compatibility Scores for

Katy Perry and Tim Tebow

Data for Katy Perry: Data for Tim Tebow:
October 25, 1984 August 14, 1987
12:00 PM 12:00 PM
Daylight Savings Time observed Standard time observed
Santa Barbara, California Manila, Philippines
34 N 25 24 119 W 42 12 14 N 35 121 E 00
Time Zone: 8 hours West Time Zone: 8 hours East

Sun 2 deg 33 min Scorpio Sun 20 deg 51 min Leo
Moon 20 deg 26 min Scorpio Moon 24 deg 39 min Aries
Mercury 12 deg 15 min Scorpio Mercury 14 deg 22 min Leo
Venus 6 deg 45 min Sagittarius Venus 18 deg 21 min Leo
Mars 14 deg 32 min Capricorn Mars 24 deg 30 min Leo
Jupiter 7 deg 50 min Capricorn Jupiter 29 deg 41 min Aries
Saturn 17 deg 07 min Scorpio Saturn 14 deg 33 min Sagittarius
Uranus 11 deg 26 min Sagittarius Uranus 22 deg 52 min Sagittarius
Neptune 29 deg 13 min Sagittarius Neptune 5 deg 32 min Capricorn
Pluto 2 deg 05 min Scorpio Pluto 7 deg 21 min Scorpio
Asc. 2 deg 11 min Capricorn Asc. 20 deg 40 min Scorpio
MC 21 deg 16 min Libra MC 20 deg 39 min Leo

Category Totals

1. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: 4

2. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 200

3. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 248

4. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 92

5. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 27

6. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 241

7. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 30

8. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 119

Given above are your compatibility scores in 8 different categories. A score of 100 is average. A score above 100 indicates that the trait is strong, and a score below 100 indicates that the trait is weak. More specifically, you can interpret the
scores as follows:

Above 150 is very high. This trait is VERY strong!
125 to 150 is above average. The trait is strong.
115 to 125 is slightly above average. The trait is slightly strong.
85 to 115 is average.
75 to 115 is slightly below average. The trait is slightly weak.
50 to 75 is weak.
50 or lower is VERY weak!

Note that there is no strict dividing point in the scores so a score of about 115, for example, is at about the point where the trait is noticeably above average. As with most things in life, like height, weight, intelligence, etc., there is a gradual
continuum of scores, but these dividing points are fairly good indicators of when a trait stands out as being strong or weak.

Just as a final teaser: I ran Tim's data against that of over 1,100 charts in my celebrity, family, and friends database. The purpose was to find him a good matchup. [See, I told you I feel paternal toward the kid.]

You would never believe who came up as the #1 match. When I say you would never believe it, I mean you would never, never, never, never believe it. Utterly mind boggling. I am considering whether to reveal this information to the general public, but I am leaning heavily against it.

She is female, one year older than Tim, purportedly from Buffalo New York, and I don't know her personally. That's about all I am willing to say. The stats show this would be one hell of a good matchup, although I find this difficult to believe.