Tuesday, August 3, 2010

So Favre has retired, aye?

Right now I am extremely annoyed. According to News.Google.com, some 1,108 news reports have gone up in the past hour or two regarding the retirement of Brett Favre. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Yeah, but this time he's going to get in front of the cameras and cry his eyes out. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Yeah, but this time he is experiencing real problems with the ankle. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Whilst I am inclined to take these reports a bit more serious than the other half-dozen or so weepy retirement conferences Brett Favre has had before, I am still waiting for him to dress 2 hours before game-one of the 2010 season. This might not be over yet.

So what if it is over? What then, Dave?

Fine! I'm just fine with it. God bless, and enjoy your grandkids, Brett.

Awe, but it's the end of an era! It's the end of a legend!

In the immortal words of Herm Edwards: So what? The guy never really meant anything to me. I was extremely annoyed at how overrated he was. The Brett Favre I remember is the one who threw the 6 interceptions against the Rams in the 2001-2002 divisional playoff game. You know, the one who ended the last four NFC Championship games he played in with an interception.

I am talking about the tragically flawed gun-slinger, the riverboat gambler. I'm talking about the guy who had so much confidence in the strength of his arm he thought he could drill a bullet right through the chest of defensive back and into the hands of the WR standing behind him. I am talking about the sandlot QB who scrambled around like a chicken with his head cut off, flinging it downfield on a prayer. You know, they guy who draws plays up in the dirt?

The fact is that Favre had incredible athletic gifts, and the greatest of them was durability, but I never wanted him on my team. You see, you can beat 10 or 11 rooty-boot teams with a sandlot gunslinger like Brett Favre. You can do that pretty much every year. You can get into the playoff tournament most of the time with a guy like this.

The problem is that you'll never win one. I still marvel that the Pack won it in 1996. Don't get me wrong. I like and admire the Pack, but I still marvel they won the Super Bowl with Favre at the helm.

You see, a gunslinger like this can cap 10 or 11 teams each year because there are usually about 20 teams in league that can't really play football. About 10 of them are really bad. The others are all missing critical pieces. Only 12 teams qualify for the playoffs. Only about 6 of them are good. Of those, only 4 will qualify for the Conference Championship games.

When a gunslinger like Favre goes up against a high-quality team, without missing pieces, playing at a high championship caliber, he dies. That's what happens. You can't bring sandlot football rubbish up again a quality team like the 2007 New York Giants or the 2009 New Orleans Saints. You can't run the quick-draw gunslinger play against this type of team. They will kill you.

Personally, I have to tell you that Favre is nowhere near as great as they say he is. His massive stats are a function of his durability and his number of games played. Those are endurance records. He threw for more yards than anyone else because he threw for more years than just about anyone else.

Are you saying you discount Brett Favre's achievements? Yep, uh-hun, that is exactly and precisely what I am saying. I discount Brett Favre's statistical achievements.

Of course, he still belongs in the Hall of Fame, but don't even try to give me any of this shit about the greatest of all time. I don't want to hear any weepy speeches either.