The Synastry Files III: Calculating the birthday of miss right.

As you know, my new favorite video games are Kepler 7 and Janus 4. The Synastry calculators and interpreters built into the these applications have furnished me with countless hours of fun over the past several weeks. It is terribly interesting stuff. I don't know if a single word of it is true, but there very interesting and evocative results when I run it against family, friends, and coworkers.

To wit, the hunt and peck method of simply entering data for women I find attractive has become extremely tedious and boring. I have become tired of the occasional bingo at a 300 level of attraction. While many of the scores I have stumbled upon have been extraordinary, so to have the downsides.

Consider Kim Kardashian. If this software is to be believed, we have a romantic and sexual score of 357. We also have a violence and aggression score of 535. Anything above 150 is considered an extremely strong score. That 535 will make you think twice about that 357. You don't want that 357 to signify 357 magnum.

Hence, I have become interested in harnessing the power of this software to calculate the birth date of little miss perfect. I want to know the birth date of the woman (or women), currently walking the face of the Earth, with the very best set of Synastry scores vis-a-vis me.

Presuming you were uninvolved with anyone at this point, would you not be interested in calculating the birth date of Miss perfect, if such a thing were possible? It would help in your glass-slipper quest, would it not?

Given the limitations of this software, which are considerable, how can the goal be achieved? Because I am a goddamn brilliant sonofabitch with no less than 4 Virgos jam-packed into my first house, I was able to reason out a solution.

The solution is to manufacture and import test data.

In the database development world, we need to test and debug software just as all software developers do. We have no desire to skupper our corporate databases with buggy software. These databases are chocked full of priceless data. Sometimes, you can't make a copy of the production database for testing purposes either. Frequently, confidential data cannot be released for testing and development purposes. The laws of the land won't allow it.

The solution is to populate a test instance of the database with artificially generate data. In practice, one smart coder gets the onerous task of writing VB or C# code that generates millions of records of utterly fake data and stashing it into the database. There are several different accepted approached to doing this. I myself have had to wear this hat on several occasions.

Returning to the Synastry files, I realized pretty quickly that it would be no difficult task to generate each and every birthday between 1961 and 1990, give each record a fake name like "Capricorn Jan 1, 1961", and use one of 10 or so fictitious birth locations.

Frankly, it doesn't take a bunch of C# code to generate something like that. It doesn't take much disk space or processor time either. The only technical challenge was to understand the data format Kepler and Janus expected to receive on import. Making the synthetic data fit that format precisely was the only challenge.

Well, I whipped out me ol' copy Visual Studio 2010 yesterday and had something working inside about 70 minutes. It was limited to Pisces only. I didn't want to waste to much time building out the frame until I knew I had the import format down pat. It turns out that Kepler wants a simple little comma delimited text file. It couldn't be easier.

I can hear someone asking now: "Dave, why Pisces! I have read you condemnation of their drug and alcohol problems." Not exactly condemnation, but plenty of trouble comes from these tendencies. The reason for the Pisces run is simple: My 7th house is in Pisces. This indicates that my spouse is supposed to come from this group. One of my objectives in the first test was to confirm that Kepler indeed scores up individuals whose Sun sign falls in your 7th house.

So I imported the Pisces run that exhaustively covered all Pisces birthdates between 1961 and 1990. I put them into their own data grouping. I ran the Pisces group against my own chart.

What did I find? The magic birth date is none other than March 12, 1986. On this date, Synastry scores versus my own chart are over 500 on the sexual attraction score, around 230 on similarity of interests, over 120 on success, over 300 on problem solving, around 300 on kidness, pleasantness and peace, and about 300ish on aggression. Because of the other high scores, we would expect the aggression score to flip and become a power and success score.

This is true all over the world, regardless of birth time, regardless of birth location. Birth time can make the scores flex up and down. Birth location (which affects time) also flexes the scores up and down.

Consider the following scores for a theoretical female I have code-named La-La. This female was born in Los Angeles County on 3/12/1986 at 9:00PM PST. Her scores versus mine look like the following.

La-La and David A. Leon

Data for La-La: Data for David A. Leon:

March 12, 1986 September 2, 1966

9:00 PM 6:05 AM

Standard time observed Daylight Savings Time observed

Los Angeles, California Fresno, California

34 N 03 08 118 W 14 34 36 N 44 52 119 W 46 17

Tropical PLACIDUS Tropical PLACIDUS

Time Zone: 8 hours West Time Zone: 8 hours West

Sun 22 deg 19 min Pisces Sun 9 deg 37 min Virgo

Moon 22 deg 21 min Aries Moon 7 deg 13 min Aries

Mercury 29 deg 01 min Pisces Mercury 2 deg 09 min Virgo

Venus 5 deg 03 min Aries Venus 22 deg 04 min Leo

Mars 22 deg 10 min Sagittarius Mars 5 deg 02 min Leo

Jupiter 4 deg 54 min Pisces Jupiter 25 deg 43 min Cancer

Saturn 9 deg 40 min Sagittarius Saturn 27 deg 33 min Pisces

Uranus 22 deg 17 min Sagittarius Uranus 19 deg 21 min Virgo

Neptune 5 deg 38 min Capricorn Neptune 19 deg 41 min Scorpio

Pluto 7 deg 04 min Scorpio Pluto 17 deg 56 min Virgo

Asc. 1 deg 15 min Scorpio Asc. 3 deg 32 min Virgo

MC 4 deg 57 min Leo MC 29 deg 54 min Taurus

Category Totals

1. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: 527

2. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 229

3. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 129

4. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 329

5. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 309

6. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 332

7. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 97

8. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 136

Given above are your compatibility scores in 8 different categories. A score of 100 is average. A score above 100 indicates that the trait is strong, and a score below 100 indicates that the trait is weak. More specifically, you can interpret the

scores as follows:

Above 150 is very high. This trait is VERY strong!

125 to 150 is above average. The trait is strong.

115 to 125 is slightly above average. The trait is slightly strong.

85 to 115 is average.

75 to 115 is slightly below average. The trait is slightly weak.

50 to 75 is weak.

50 or lower is VERY weak!

It looks like one of the legendary romances of this or any other age; one that all others will be measured by. This despite the fact that I am 20 years older than all these women. Oh well, I guess some younger women need older men.

Incidentally, Miss right may just have easily been born in Toronto Canada at 10:00pm. She may well have been born in Rio de Janeiro at 11:45pm. Flex the time a bit, and any location anywhere in the world will produce this kind of massive result set.

I have studied La-La's birth charts and there are several remarkable features to it. First, she is fire masquerading as water. La-la's ascendant is Scorpio. Her Sun sign is Pisces. She will appear to be a watery and mysterious, intensely emotional female. Under the hood, she is all fire. She has no less than 4 Sagittarius and 2 Aries planets in her chart, including an Aries moon to match my own. La-La does not have a single shred of air in her chart, just like me.

Go figure. Most of my high scores prior to this point involved females who brought a lot of air to potluck. Not in the case of La-la.

There is much to consider here. I have not generated test data for all the other signs. Ergo, I cannot definitively say that La-la will continue to have the top score, but do I expect it go any higher? I have great doubts about that. How do you go higher than 527-528? I know I said this about 357, but good Lord! Further, how can you possibly beat the combined score with problem solving, and peace? That is what makes La-la's chart nearly invincible.

Can you find 500s across the board? I doubt it will happen outside the boundaries of the 7th house. Given the fact that Pisces is on my 7th house, I strongly doubt a non-Pisces will post scores that exceed a Pisces.

What gives me cold chills is the notion of the approach-shot. How does a 44 year old man approach a 24 year old woman? With chart in hand? I wanted to meet you because I ran a bunch of test data that says...

What are you kidding me? We beat the Ravens?

No! Your joking! Our guys popped 14 on the score board in the first two drives? No, your joking!

Both Scorpio and Smoker shredded the Ravens defense on back-to-back possessions? The Rams completed 11 consecutive passes to open the game? NAW! Quit pulling my leg. The Ravens have only given up one touchdown in the first 3 preseason games. They've smacked up a few people along the way.

So it is true. The Rams led all the way. The Ravens broadcast team didn't like it one little bit. They found it quite disconcerting that Ram QBs carved up the object of their pride.

As they correctly pointed out, the Rams were not facing the Ravens' first string defense. The Ravens were not playing their famous chaos front. They gave us a pretty 'vanilla' 4-3 look. Still they found the Rams success quite disconcerting and I found it fascinating.

More interesting than this is the fact that the Ravens only touchdown in the first half came on an interception return off the arm of Smoker. The Rams starting D did not give up a point to Ravens' offense. Granted, Flacco, Bolden and Rice did not play. Still, the backup offense look confounded.

There are reasons to be excited and concerned. Consider the first drive, Sam Bradford's only drive of the evening. Sam was perfect, 6/6 for 68 yards and 1 touchdown. He did not get hit, and he made a terrific throw deep in the redzone to Bajema. That was a tough throw. Sam was throwing against the zone in a compressed box. There were three defenders and two Rams in the crowded right corner of the endzone. Sam threw a high velocity dart to the perfect spot and made it look easy.

Best of all, Sam did not get hit during that drive. The line kept his jersey clean. That is a good sign.

On the flip side of the first drive, the Ram O-Line did not open a single running hole on several attempts. Ram running backs got stuffed on just about every attempt. Carney made a first down a second effort after getting jacked up at the line of scrimmage, but that was the only positive yardage for our running game via the 1st string line.

Now on the second drive... Well... that was a different matter. The 2nd string line seems to be able to block for the run. We got some very nice seals and ran the football in the alley.

I kinda get the feeling that Pat Shurmur is trying to make me like him. He actually called a decent aggressive game this time. The Rams took some bold shots. We called smart plays like the naked bootleg in the Redzone. I have said many times that this is the highest percentage play I have ever seen at the goal line. I don't want to count the number of times I saw the 49ers score on that play with Joe Montana and Steve Young. I am glad to see we can run it now.

Further, the Raven D had difficulty reading the differences between run and pass plays. This was mostly due to broken keys on offense. We lined up in a power-I and threw the football. We lined up in a weak I and threw the football. This surprised them. Let's keep it up.

So the Rams finish the preseason 3-1, and look improved, but don't get too jacked up. We finished 3-1 in preseason last year also. You know the rest of the story. I don't need to go over that again. We'll see how things go, but the Rams do look better. Remember, in a regular season match up, we'd go against Flacco and company, and the Raven defensive starters would be playing their chaos front. It would have been a different ball of wax in the real show.

Still, it was a nice birthday present.

The Synastry Files, Part 2

So the company has me hopping these days. I will have time for only a short entry as a big batch job runs, under my careful supervision.

Last night I typed in the birthdates for over 100 female Geminis of my generation. Together with the Gemini dates already in the celebrity database, I had close to 200 total samples. I discarded many from generations gone by as un-interesting, and possibly detrimental to the scores.

For only the second time, I tried an automated batch tool inside Kepler 7.0 called "Match Maker". It was difficult, but possible, for me to segregate the Geminis into their own group, and compare them to my chart. The tool sequentially compares any given chart to that of any collection in the database. The results are presented in sorted order, high to low or low to high, which ever you prefer.

The results were remarkable. The Geminis are now the second hottest group behind the Libras. Their scores ran well ahead of the Aquarians, who also show unusually high scores versus my chart. The Gemini scores ranged between 0 and 323, with Mode, mean and median right around 138. There were several scores in the high 200s. They could not eclipse the scores of the top Libras, but the broke into the top 5.

Unfortunately, the aggression figures were also high. Gemini aggression scores were not as high as Libra aggression scores, but then again, neither were their romantic and sexual attraction scores. Both Libra and Gemini aggression scores are higher than the romantic and sexual attraction scores. The results with Aquarians were similar.

Incidentally, Angelina Jolie happens to be a Gemini. She comes pre-packaged in the celebrity database. I have a romantic and sexual attraction score of 64 versus Angelina. That might be a bit on the high side. Strangely, we have an aggression score of just 8 points. This is the lowest I have seen among the Air clan. Go figure.

This has left me scratching my head. Why does the elevated sexual score walk hand in hand and side by side with an elevated aggression score? Is this bullshit? Is this even possible?

After a bit of reading on the psychology of intense sexual relationships, it would seem that the answer is "No it's not bullshit, and yes it is entirely possible."

Those who study these things basically say that the blowtorch that burns 10 times as hot burns 10% as long. You can't get into one of these red-hot burners without getting burned out.

Further, there is a much more profound point to be found here. There is only one way you can enter into one of these red-hot burners, and that is through the gateway of hyper-sensitivity. If you not hyper-sensitive to everything your lover does, the relationship just won't be that intense. If you are hyper sensitive to your lover, every little thing she does is magic. Every little sway of the hips, every little brush or her hand, every little bat or her eyelashes will set you on fire.

There is a dark side to that force. If you are hyper-sensitive to her, any careless word, any little criticism, any sign of anger from her can demolish you to a pile of rubble. Further, any little criticism from you, any little sign of anger, any little bit of ingratitude or rejection will wound her to the core.

This is why those deep the throws of love can fight like mad putbulls in a steel cage.

If these Synastry scores are to be believed, I could easily get into one of the blow-torch relationships with a Libra like Kim Kardashian. All air women are somewhat likely candidates for this kind of relationship. These figures indicate that it would be a hyper-sensitive and unstable affair. It would be delicious in the extreme, and painful in the same measure.

I think Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson had one of these relationships. I need to check their Synastry figures...

Happy Birthday to us

So, here are a few of my favorite people also born on my Birthday, September 2.

• Eric Dickerson
• Salma Mayek
• Keanu Reeves
• Kat Williams
• Terry Bradshaw
• Sidney "Thunder" Thorton
• Brian Westbook
• Tommy Maddox
• Mark Harmon
• Jimmy Connors.
• Robert Shapiro

So here is a bit of comedy to brighten our day presented by the best comedian sharing out birthday. A special happy birthday to Salma Hayek who was born precisely on my birthday, 9/2/1966. I can't believe we are now 44. Where has the time gone?

The Synastry Files

Why Libra...?

So the research project continues with very interesting results. The Libras occupy the top 6 slots of the leader board. The scores are pretty well off the chart. Regrettably, so too are the aggression scores. Terrifying...

Another interesting finding seems to be emerging. The Aquarians are starting to show up strong. I haven't found one that can crack the Libra hegemony over the top 6, but the Aquarians are starting to show scores in the 180-220 range, which is remarkable, to say the least. The Aquarian reports also show high aggression scores, similar to the Libras, but in the 300 range.

Oh well, Tom Landry and Rodger Staubach didn't always get along. They blew their cool around each other a few times. They still formed one of the most famous partnerships in NFL history, and Landry is still Staubach's biggest fan. Incidentally, I happen to have Staubach's jersey hanging up in my cubical at work, so I think pretty well of him also.

I have not yet run the Gemini charts yet, but I am expecting those to show strong scores also.

Why? I am formulating a theory about this with the help of several websites. Many astrological sources will tell you can't match sun signs with sun signs per se. The logic is foul. You can only match whole charts with whole charts, looking at complex aspects. Nevertheless, certain common patterns do emerge.

Common pattern #1: Opposites attract. You heard the Paula Abdul song. In romance, the key principle is called erotic complementarity. In genetics the principle is called hybrid vigor. She brings something to the pot luck. You bring something else. Together, you put together a complete program. Since romance is a function of reproduction, and reproduction is a genetic thing, you need to think of this as you would DNA and RNA. Any biochemist worth a damn will tell you a strand of RNA is the exact mirror opposite of it's DNA counterpart.

You see, my thinking has been entirely wrong up to this point. I am a predominantly earth guy. I have 5 Virgos and one Taurus in my chart. After that, I have three key fire signs: Aries moon, Leo Venus, Leo Mars (just like Tim Tebow). The rest is water; one each of Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer. I haven't got the slightest shred of air in my chart.

Ergo, I should go after a predominantly air-girl, with little or no earth in her chart. She brings something to the table I don't have. I may bring something to the table she doesn't have. Together, we have compliantly. It's supposed to work.

I thought it was other way around. I thought I would be best off with an earthy girl, preferably of the Capricorn clan. I have been dismayed by how many mediocre/average scores I have seen comparing my chart to Capricorn women. I like them, and they don't exactly hate me, but evidently they don't think it's a hot match up. They are luke-warm to say the least. The story of my life thus far...

If these scores are to be believed, the air girls do think its a (real) hot match-up. Libra is an Air sign. Aquarius is an air sign. Gemini is an air sign. The approaching series of Gemini tests will be the critical key in qualifying this theory.

If some sources are to be believed, the Gemini scores will be hotter than the Libra scores. Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo. They are supposed to be the most mental signs of the Zodiac, with Aquarius coming in 3rd. Ergo, it is a hot match. Really?

I doubt this theory. First of all, how much hotter does it get than 357 to 371? Higher than this is nearly inconceivable. Second, I have never had a liaison or affair of the heart with a Gemini girl. Third, my Grandma was a Gemini. Despite the fact that I was her grandson, and I loved her, I have to tell you we didn't see eye to eye about a lot of things. This is where those fearsome aggression numbers would seem to manifest themselves. I used to make grandma plenty mad, and visa-versa. Finally, some of my least favorite stars (read Angelina Jolie) are Geminis.

How a Capricorn like Brad Pitt hooked up with a Gemini like Angelina Jolie... Brad, you are letting your earth brothers down.

Still, if there happens to be some magnificent Gemini chick waiting around out there for me...

What I have seen this preason...

The first two weeks of this pre-season pretty well blew past me without much of a notable result. Everything went exactly as I expected. In particular, Tebow flashed strong immediately, and the Rams offensive line flashed weak immediately. Other than that, nothing impressed me much in week 1 or 2 of the preseason.

That changed this week, and it is well it should. The third preseason game is the so-called "dressed rehearsal" for the regular season. I saw a number of things that impressed me a great deal. Let me count them down for you.

Javid Best is going to be the AP Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2011

The kid is looking flat-out dynamic so far. I am seeing flashes of Marshall Faulk all over the place. The sky is the limit for this kid, and Matt Stafford can't be more overjoyed about it. Now with Calvin Johnson, Javid Best and Matt Stafford, I am wondering whether Detroit is going to get up off the carpet and make one hell of a surprise run.

I have been soooo impressed by this kid, that I have already purchased his #44 jersey in white. I intend to wear that Jersey for the very first time on September 2, 2010, to celebrate my 44th birthday. Congrats kid! You impressed me so much that you convinced me not to wear the Dallas Clark jersey, and I think the world of Dallas Clark.

The Ravens look like the Super Bowl 45 champions

You better watch out for these guys. They are looking scary. This could be the most impressive end-to-end team I have seen this preseason. The super-duper off-season the Ravens had impressed me a great deal. I made them the tentative-prohibitive favorite [if that makes any sense] in the AFC based on their fantastic off-season.

That high-quality off-season is generating tangible yields, right now, in the 2010 preseason. The Ravens look very strong to me.

The main problem with the Ravens these past two years has been their own internal distrust of their passing game. They have wanted to bring Flacco along slowly, not putting too much on his plate. Now they seem to trust Flacco and are willing to put the team in his hands. Now they are showing flashes of a dynamic offense that can throw well and run like hell.

They will also beat the shit out of you defensively.

This is a goooooooood looking football team. I am mighty damn impressed by these guys.

The Saints look more than prepared to defend their crown

There ain't no sign of a let-down in New Orleans. I must say, it does might heart good to think they might defend their title. If so, they will be the first NFC team to win back-to-back titles since the Cowboys did it in 1995. I have to say: It couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of fellas and better city.

I am hoping you will pull it off, New Orleans.

The Packers look like they have a Hurricane offense, but a somewhat suspect defense.

The Packers offense look like the 1st Air-Cav division: death from above. Aaron Rodgers is shooting the lights out with a 141 passer efficiency rating. If you watch the film, he looks better than the rating sounds. I saw him make effortless tight-window throws against the Colts' [pretty elite] defense. He made it look easy, and those were not easy throws. 9 out of 10 quarterbacks in this league would have had trouble making all of those throws.

Aaron Rodgers will replace Payton Manning as the NFL's All-Pro QB and MVP in 2010 if this continues. There ain't no doubt about it. He is that good. There is a reason why he is the #1 guy in everybody's fantasy pool right now.

The one problem is a suspect running defense which has given up a number of big runs this preseason. I see some deficiencies in the fundamentals of tackling here. I saw visions of Vince Lombardi screaming "GRAB! GRAB! GRAB! NOBODY'S TACKLING!" You also need to be concerned about the fact that a less-than-physical Colts O-Line shredded your front-7.

I see flashes of the Super Bowl looser's jinx on the Colts

Folks, it ain't just one thing either. First, 49ers tie one on them. Now we see that the NFL has messed up the Colts' much feared no-huddle offense. Just as their running game begins to impress us all, Joseph Addai goes down with a concussion.

Understand that the Super Bowl loser's jinx began in the year 1970 with a Don Shula,/Johnny Unitas Baltimore Colts team. That Colt team was at least as good, and probably better, than this Colt team. You can argue they were better coached by Shula. Just immediately after going 13-1, that Colt team finished 7-7, and struggled all the way. The next year (1971) those Colts would return to the Super Bowl, and win it all against the Cowboys.

That was an historically great team that struggled psychologically after loosing the big one. The Super Bowl loser's jinx is real and powerful and effective. The Colts know all about it. You know more about it than I do.

The Cowboy offense looks like shit

During the deep-off season, I joined many in thinking that the Cowboys had to be a mild-favorite to win the NFC. With a sharply weakened NFC-East, and an improved passing attack, I thought the Cowboys might enjoy a cake-walk to home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, including the Super Bowl.

Right now I am officially off the Cowboys' bandwagon. What I have seen is an ugly-struggling offense that has not pierced the end-zone this preseason... at least the 1st stringers haven't. Most problematic is the offensive line. It looks like you guys inherited the curse of Alex Barron. Now your offensive line looks like keystone cops at a Chinese fire-drill.

I am being a little facetious here. Alex has actually looked pretty good for Cowboys so far, but the rest of the line, particularly the interior looks like abject and absolutely reprehensible shit. There is no way you guys are going to go to the Super Bowl with a line that looks like that. You got some work to do, and it might be as difficult as the work the Rams have to do.

The Patriot defense looks like shit

And I mean wet, running, stinky, nasty, stenching cat shit too! If you think otherwise, you have a lot of explaining to do. Some say that the Patriots never show you anything but a 'vanilla look' during the preseason. Folks, that is not sufficient to explain what I saw against the Rams.

Understand that the NFL's 32nd ranked offense, an offense that averaged only 10.9 points per game last season, an offense that was shutout by the Redskins and the Seahawks (bottom 10 teams) just went up to New England and popped 17 points on the board before you got up to take a piss.

The Rams went on to score 36. The Patriots kept Tom Brady in the game until the 4th quarter, trying to make it look closer than it actually was. The Patriot broadcast team heaped praise on Bradford to avoid heaping condemnation on Bellichick's defense.

The praise for Bradford was mostly ledgit, but you dropped the ball by failing to condemn the Patriots defense. They looks pretty damn slow and unathletic to me. That defense just doesn't look competitive. They are more than suspect at this point.

Right now, I think 2010 is the year the wheels fall off of that Patriot defense. It would make sense. The hoodie has been keeping it going with smoke and mirrors for the past year.

Jesus looks like shit

So, I trust we are all familiar with the pecular story of Charlie Whitehurst, correct? My favorite piece on BleacherReport.com was titled "Jesus Christ to start at Quarterback in Seattle". I wrote that piece, by the way. The Seahawk fans dug it. I got a lot of nice praise for that humorous piece.

I wanted to make the point that there ain't no way in hell Charlie Whitehurst is the future of the Seahawk organization. I knew that when the trade went down. Whitehurst is a short-term stop-gap solution for the Seahawks for those occasions in 2010 when Matt is injured. Matt is often injured, by the way.

I fully expect the Seahawks to go after a certain fellow by the name of Jake Locker in this upcoming 2011 draft. He is the hometown hero, and he is being developed by Pete's buddy and former offensive coordinator Steve.

Incidentally, more than 60% of the Seahawk fans agreed with me. The polls indicates that they believe Jesus... errr... Charlie is a stop-gap, and Jake Locker is the man of the future in Seattle. Many of them are begging for this outcome. The only doubt comes from those who just don't think the Seahawks will be in a position to take Locker. They all want him.

Charlie is not giving them a reason to stop begging. He's got a QB passer rating of 61. I know he has thrown for a lot of yards, but he has not looked good doing so. Right now, he does not resemble a starting QB in the National Football League.

The Cardinal look poised for a fall, regrettably.

What I say now, I say with a heavy heart: The Cardinals look like they are going down. Not only did they deal Anquan, not only did Kurt Warner retire, not only did Larry Fitzgerald get hurt, but now Derek Anderson is looking like their top QB with an efficiency rating of 70.2. In the immortal words of Herm Edwards, "I'm calling Kurt Warner".

This is not good. I enjoyed watching the Cardinals compete over the past two seasons. I do not like seeing teams occupy the post of "perennial doormats". I enjoyed seeing the Cards get up and make a Super Bowl run.

Now it looks to me as if they are going to rejoin the cellar dwellers at the bottom of the heap. They may want to compete with the Seahawks for Jake Locker. In the meantime, you need to get Sage Rosenfels from the Vikings.

The Rams do look better, but the Jim Plunkett 2.0 remake is still on schedule

The Rams flashed a strong offense against the Patriots, but don't get too hyped about that just yet. All along, I have been warning of a Hollywood remake of the Jim Plunket story.

Do you remember that story? A brilliant Heisman trophy winning passer gets selected #1 by a football team with a shit-ass offensive line. He flashes strong, winning rookie of the year, and even defeating the mighty Raiders. All the way along the line, he takes hit after hit. Eventually the hits take their toll and he starts getting injured.

Fortunately, Jim's career had a happy ending. Mr. Al Davis put him behind one of the finest offensive lines in league history, and he detonated.

Ram fans need to be keenly aware of this historical example as we watch the Sam Bradford story unfold. Already Donnie Avery has been lost for the season on a fluke ACL tear. Lost in the turmoil of the injury was the fact that Sam Bradford got ax-handled on the very same play. I am talking about a high-velocity hit that launched Sam off his feet and pancaked him. He shook it off, just as Jim Plunkett did after so many hits. That fact is cold comfort for Ram fans.

Former 49er Randy Cross praise Bradford's poise, and warned that the Patriot defense was "massaging his chops" after every throw. Things are out-of-order on the Rams offensive line. This needs to be fixed, real soon.

The Rams also need to trade for a certain receiver in San Diego, but you didn't hear this suggestion from me. If I suggest it, Devaney will never make the deal.

The Kroenke era begins with a boom. The Georgia curse has been ended.

Surely you jest! Surely you are pulling my leg! Nah! Not true! Are you serious. The Rams defeated the Patriots 36-35 in Boston? NAH!

I want to carefully qualify my remarks. I do not believe the Patriots are the ruling dynasty of the NFL. I do not believe they are a Super Bowl contender this season. Nevertheless, I do expect them to post a winning season. I do not expect the same thing from my Rams.

Still I cannot deny the reports the NFL Network is throwing at me. Evidentially, my 1-15 team just went into New England and scored 36 points against the Patriots. Do you understand that this was the 32nd ranked offense in the NFL last season? This was an offense that had trouble putting 11 points on the scoreboard, and was shutout by the Redskins and the Seahawks, both of whom were bottom 10 teams.

How did you fuckers give up 36 points? Mel Kiper was more right than I though he was, and I thought he was pretty accurate on this question. The New England Patriots have real problems on defense. I haven't seen a lot of things that impressed me this preseason (except Javid Best) but this impresses me.

You mean to tell me that Sam shot 15 for 22 for 189 yards and a pair of touchdowns behind one of the most... er... ah... lines in the league? That is a pretty good QB rating there kid. Keep it up.

I don't know what to say. I guess my guys have gotten better and yours have gotten worse. If I were the Patriots, I would pretty intensely humiliated by this.

Hallelujah the Georgia curse has been lifted! The Kroenke era begins with a bang.

Good job guys.