I ain't feelin' you, Gemini

So for those who don't know, it's Gemini season. All the Gemini boys and girls are having their birthdays right about now. I have been carefully scanning the birthday lists for all the notable women born under the constellation of Gemini, and there are some. Nevertheless, I have come to a conclusion: I ain't feeling you.

I had some notable Gemini celebrity crushes once upon a time. The most notable were Stevie Nicks and Steffi Graf. Morena Baccarin drove me bat-shit crazy during the days of Firefly/Serenity. I was mad for her. According to the computer, the feeling would be mutual in Morena's case. I have splendid scores vs. Morena.

1. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: 259

2. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 343

3. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 168

4. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 49

5. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 232

6. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence: 0

7. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 120

8. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 109

However, this is a very special case. Morena has a remarkable amount of Taurus and Virgo in her chart. She's more Earth than Air. Her Mars and Venus are conjuncted in Taurus, and this is what makes her such an utter knock-out. Frankly, it don't get no better than that. That's as good as it ever gets for any woman who would like to be a sex symbol. She also has a Virgo moon, which means she is apt to go after a Virgo guy. Taken together, the combination of Virgo moon with Venus & Mars in Taurus indicates that this is a very emotionally, romantically and sexually harmonious woman. She is self-consistent, unconfused about what she wants, and therefore uncomplicated.

Wow... talk about a 500 foot tape-measure grand-slam home run...

Most of my Gemini scores are not so thrilling. That is because few Geminis can match up with that combo of features.

According to Sirus, my best of the best Gemini score falls on 6/16/1982. The score is 324. This pales in comparison to my top Aries score of 537/538. It also pales in comparison to my top Pisces score of 532. It also pales in comparison to my top Aquarius score of 448. It also pales in comparison to my top Capricorn (409), top Leo (396) and top Virgo (390) scores. I hate to mention it, but I also have higher Sagittarius (373), Libra (371), Taurus (367) and Scorpio (337) scores.

Folks, Gemini can only beat-out Cancer versus my chart. I find this fact very strange. Cancer is always regarded as a premiere match up for Virgo. Gemini is usually regarded as much better than either Aries or Sagittarius for a Virgo. Gemini would certainly be considered better for a Virgo than Aquarius, under normal circumstances.

Once again, the fire in my chart upsets the apple cart of general synastry. You don't normally find so much Aries and Leo in a Virgo boy. This is antagonizing to gentile and maternal Cancer. It also antagonizes the placid and romantic Taurus women.

The presence of Leo and Aries in my chart should be great for Gemini. The Mercurial nature of Virgo should be intriguing for them as well. Still, the computer says it ain't so. For whatever reasons, I don't score that well that often vs. Gemini. Is there any truth to these scores? Do I feel these scores are right or wrong?

I hate to say it, but they are looking more and more reasonable every day. As each day of Gemini passes, I see a new list of birthdays for famous females. Very, very few catch my eye, tickle my fancy, or interest me in any way. Sorry to say this girls, but you ain't strong enough to carry the jock-straps of the Capricorn and Pisces girls. Both of those groups have serious knock-out power.

During Pisces season, I could loose hours examining the photos of Pisces girls, reading their bios, looking at their facebook pages, etc. I had lost time experiences, and couldn't believe how the time flew by. During this Gemini season, I have hardly devoted much time to studying Gemini girls. I'm just not interested.

At work, I know a bunch of Geminis. Our MIS/IT Director is a Gemini. He is a personal buddy of mine. Aaron Graham, Former USC linebacker and current hardware guru of our company, just happens to be a Gemini. These are good friends. However, a buddy is one thing. A girlfriend is quite a different kettle of fish.

I happen to know three women at work who are very flirty these days, and they are all Geminis. In none of these cases would I feel comfortable flirting back. There are two reasons.

First, there are serious question about the sincerity of a Gemini flirt. These are the most flirty women in the Zodiac, and they are very seldom serious about it. They usually don't mean anything by it. They just flirt to avoid boredom at work. This is just a way to while away the hours pleasantly. My sister's BFF happens to be just such a Gemini flirt.

Second, to quote Aliens, I got a bad feeling about this drop. Call me foolish, call me irresponsible, call me a dreamer, but I get a bad, bad feeling anytime I consider taking cheese that has been carefully placed on the mouse trap's trigger. I have a strong foreboding sense of dread that nothing good can come from it. It just won't work out.

At the risk of sounding like a woman, I can't explain why. These certainly seem like nice and pleasant women. There is nothing wrong with them in particular. Nevertheless, I was convinced--before I knew what they were--that making any move would be a bad move. I still feel that way.

I had to hesitate before I wrote this, but I guess I will spit it out. Gemini is a masculine sign. Furthermore, it is the sign most highly associated with both male and female bisexuality. As I study photo after photo of Gemini women, I see a pronounced trend towards a hard, thick, masculine jaw-line. Angelina Jolie is not the only one. This is rather typical. Many of these women do seem masculine in some way or another.

If you compare and contrast this versus Pisces and Capricorn women, there just ain't no contest. The Pisces and Capricorn women are far and away more feminine and therefore alluring.

I would really love to pull blood samples from 100 Gemini, Capricorn and Pisces females. I would love to test and compare their testosterone levels. I would bet you dollars to donuts that the Gemini women will have twice the level of testosterone found in the blood of Capricorn and Pisces females.

Some of you might think that was a great thing. Not me, man. I like my women femme.

The Synastry Files, Part 2

So the company has me hopping these days. I will have time for only a short entry as a big batch job runs, under my careful supervision.

Last night I typed in the birthdates for over 100 female Geminis of my generation. Together with the Gemini dates already in the celebrity database, I had close to 200 total samples. I discarded many from generations gone by as un-interesting, and possibly detrimental to the scores.

For only the second time, I tried an automated batch tool inside Kepler 7.0 called "Match Maker". It was difficult, but possible, for me to segregate the Geminis into their own group, and compare them to my chart. The tool sequentially compares any given chart to that of any collection in the database. The results are presented in sorted order, high to low or low to high, which ever you prefer.

The results were remarkable. The Geminis are now the second hottest group behind the Libras. Their scores ran well ahead of the Aquarians, who also show unusually high scores versus my chart. The Gemini scores ranged between 0 and 323, with Mode, mean and median right around 138. There were several scores in the high 200s. They could not eclipse the scores of the top Libras, but the broke into the top 5.

Unfortunately, the aggression figures were also high. Gemini aggression scores were not as high as Libra aggression scores, but then again, neither were their romantic and sexual attraction scores. Both Libra and Gemini aggression scores are higher than the romantic and sexual attraction scores. The results with Aquarians were similar.

Incidentally, Angelina Jolie happens to be a Gemini. She comes pre-packaged in the celebrity database. I have a romantic and sexual attraction score of 64 versus Angelina. That might be a bit on the high side. Strangely, we have an aggression score of just 8 points. This is the lowest I have seen among the Air clan. Go figure.

This has left me scratching my head. Why does the elevated sexual score walk hand in hand and side by side with an elevated aggression score? Is this bullshit? Is this even possible?

After a bit of reading on the psychology of intense sexual relationships, it would seem that the answer is "No it's not bullshit, and yes it is entirely possible."

Those who study these things basically say that the blowtorch that burns 10 times as hot burns 10% as long. You can't get into one of these red-hot burners without getting burned out.

Further, there is a much more profound point to be found here. There is only one way you can enter into one of these red-hot burners, and that is through the gateway of hyper-sensitivity. If you not hyper-sensitive to everything your lover does, the relationship just won't be that intense. If you are hyper sensitive to your lover, every little thing she does is magic. Every little sway of the hips, every little brush or her hand, every little bat or her eyelashes will set you on fire.

There is a dark side to that force. If you are hyper-sensitive to her, any careless word, any little criticism, any sign of anger from her can demolish you to a pile of rubble. Further, any little criticism from you, any little sign of anger, any little bit of ingratitude or rejection will wound her to the core.

This is why those deep the throws of love can fight like mad putbulls in a steel cage.

If these Synastry scores are to be believed, I could easily get into one of the blow-torch relationships with a Libra like Kim Kardashian. All air women are somewhat likely candidates for this kind of relationship. These figures indicate that it would be a hyper-sensitive and unstable affair. It would be delicious in the extreme, and painful in the same measure.

I think Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson had one of these relationships. I need to check their Synastry figures...

The Synastry Files

Why Libra...?

So the research project continues with very interesting results. The Libras occupy the top 6 slots of the leader board. The scores are pretty well off the chart. Regrettably, so too are the aggression scores. Terrifying...

Another interesting finding seems to be emerging. The Aquarians are starting to show up strong. I haven't found one that can crack the Libra hegemony over the top 6, but the Aquarians are starting to show scores in the 180-220 range, which is remarkable, to say the least. The Aquarian reports also show high aggression scores, similar to the Libras, but in the 300 range.

Oh well, Tom Landry and Rodger Staubach didn't always get along. They blew their cool around each other a few times. They still formed one of the most famous partnerships in NFL history, and Landry is still Staubach's biggest fan. Incidentally, I happen to have Staubach's jersey hanging up in my cubical at work, so I think pretty well of him also.

I have not yet run the Gemini charts yet, but I am expecting those to show strong scores also.

Why? I am formulating a theory about this with the help of several websites. Many astrological sources will tell you can't match sun signs with sun signs per se. The logic is foul. You can only match whole charts with whole charts, looking at complex aspects. Nevertheless, certain common patterns do emerge.

Common pattern #1: Opposites attract. You heard the Paula Abdul song. In romance, the key principle is called erotic complementarity. In genetics the principle is called hybrid vigor. She brings something to the pot luck. You bring something else. Together, you put together a complete program. Since romance is a function of reproduction, and reproduction is a genetic thing, you need to think of this as you would DNA and RNA. Any biochemist worth a damn will tell you a strand of RNA is the exact mirror opposite of it's DNA counterpart.

You see, my thinking has been entirely wrong up to this point. I am a predominantly earth guy. I have 5 Virgos and one Taurus in my chart. After that, I have three key fire signs: Aries moon, Leo Venus, Leo Mars (just like Tim Tebow). The rest is water; one each of Scorpio, Pisces, Cancer. I haven't got the slightest shred of air in my chart.

Ergo, I should go after a predominantly air-girl, with little or no earth in her chart. She brings something to the table I don't have. I may bring something to the table she doesn't have. Together, we have compliantly. It's supposed to work.

I thought it was other way around. I thought I would be best off with an earthy girl, preferably of the Capricorn clan. I have been dismayed by how many mediocre/average scores I have seen comparing my chart to Capricorn women. I like them, and they don't exactly hate me, but evidently they don't think it's a hot match up. They are luke-warm to say the least. The story of my life thus far...

If these scores are to be believed, the air girls do think its a (real) hot match-up. Libra is an Air sign. Aquarius is an air sign. Gemini is an air sign. The approaching series of Gemini tests will be the critical key in qualifying this theory.

If some sources are to be believed, the Gemini scores will be hotter than the Libra scores. Mercury rules Gemini and Virgo. They are supposed to be the most mental signs of the Zodiac, with Aquarius coming in 3rd. Ergo, it is a hot match. Really?

I doubt this theory. First of all, how much hotter does it get than 357 to 371? Higher than this is nearly inconceivable. Second, I have never had a liaison or affair of the heart with a Gemini girl. Third, my Grandma was a Gemini. Despite the fact that I was her grandson, and I loved her, I have to tell you we didn't see eye to eye about a lot of things. This is where those fearsome aggression numbers would seem to manifest themselves. I used to make grandma plenty mad, and visa-versa. Finally, some of my least favorite stars (read Angelina Jolie) are Geminis.

How a Capricorn like Brad Pitt hooked up with a Gemini like Angelina Jolie... Brad, you are letting your earth brothers down.

Still, if there happens to be some magnificent Gemini chick waiting around out there for me...