Monday, December 7, 2009

The De Facto Champions?

So just before the Fastest 3 Minutes in Sports, Chris "Boomer" Berman seemed to lament that the defending champion Steelers were on the ropes, and that the De Facto Champion Patriots were looking more human than ever?

Whooohhhh..... What?!?!?! SAAAHHH WHAT?!!??!? The what? The Patriots are what? Did you refer to the Patriots as the De Facto Champions? Now how in the fucking hell can such a preposterous statement ever be justified? AH! I forgot! Chris is the big man at ESPN! He lives in Bristol Connecticut! He is one of the foremost exponents of the East Coast bias! Since the Patriots play near ESPN HQ, they are obviously the De Facto Champions.

I have loved Chris for a long time, but we have to order that man a mandatory drug test. It takes about 10,000 pounds of brain damage to call a team that has not won the Super Bowl in 5 years the De Facto Champions. If you were not actually brain damaged, you would realize that the Patriots are on the downslope of rebuilding, and they are on pace for a 10-6 season. That kind of brain damage just doesn't happen naturally, all by itself. There must be some pretty harsh narcotics involved. Drug testing is in order.

Hey, Chris! Didn't Brady look like the greatest QB of all time on that Red-Zone interception, or the INT at the end of the game? He also choked when he over-threw Wes Welker. Be honest for just a minute: Your boy looks like shit. They did better last year with Matt Castle. They should have kept him and traded Brady.