Monday, December 14, 2009

Hollywood's top 25 sexiest women of all time

Recently, I was channel surfing and came across an absolutely preposterous & absurd program called "Hollywood's Top 25 Sexist Women of All-Time". Why was it absurd? The following grand dames of Hollywood were all listed outside the Top 12:
  1. Lauren Bacall
  2. Eva Gardner
  3. Katherine Hepburn
  4. Ingrid Bergman
  5. Grace Kelly
At the same time, the following contemporary dames were ranked inside the top 10:
  1. Angelina Jollie #2
  2. Halley Berry #3
  3. Julia Roberts #5
  4. Jessica Alba #8
  5. Michelle Pfifer
If you have seen a dozen photos of these women, let alone film, you have to laugh out loud. I want to go on the record and tell you that Angelina Jollie can't carry the jockstrap on any of the old dames on the upper list. There is no woman in Hollywood today who can compare to any of the classic stars I listed above. If there was even one Lauren Bacall--let alone an Eva Gardner--in Hollywood today, L.A. County would be crushed by a billion stalkers.

It is a total wipe-out in favor of the classics. Everybody knows that one of the most lamentable aspects of Hollywood in the past 20 or 30 years is that it has not produced the kind of absolute bombshells we saw in the 30s-50s. They haven't even gotten close.

Before you call me curmudgeon, understand I that I was born in 1966. All of these classic dames of Hollywood were already in their 50s and 60s by the time I was 10 years old. Most were dead of old age by the time I turned 30. These were not the contemporary stars I grew up with. No, Pfifer, Bullock, and Roberts were. I always knew they couldn't hang with the classics.

So why did TV Guide produce such a preposterous list? How could these gurus think or utter such nonsense, much less broadcast it on their own network? TV Guide is part of the Hollywood marketing force. They make money by marketing for Hollywood. As Hollywood makes money, they make money. They have a vested interest in telling you that the stars today are greater than the stars of yesteryear. Right now is the moment. Hollywood has never been better than it is today. The women today are much hotter than the women of the past. Why? Because we need to recoup our investment dollars on recent production right now, that's why!

That's like arguing that Michael Jackson was innocent of child molestation because you would like to make money selling his next album. There are about 10,000 logical fallacies in there.

When you think about it, tho, how much different is the policy of the NFL Marketing department on Park Avenue? I personally thought it was absurd when marketing forces inside the NFL began to propound that Joe Montana was better than Johnny U. So did Dan Fouts. Now that Joe is fading into the distant fog of the past, there is now a new drum-beat coming out of Park Avenue. Peyton Manning is the greatest QB of all time. This will accelerate dramatically if the Colts win SB44, and if Manning has a big day.

Now I happen to think Manning is a lot better than Montana, and I have seen both of their careers in their entirety. I am not sure Manning is better than Unitas. I think Manning would go easy on that as well. In fact he did precisely that recently when he busted up a bunch of Unitas's records.

Just like Hollywood, the NFL has a vested interest in telling you that the greats today are the greatest greats that ever played. The stars of today would crush the stars of yesteryear. This is the magical moment when things have never been better. Ergo, you should pay diligent attention to the present moment, and appreciate this greatness.

While I am all in favor of living in the present moment, but be careful of the marketing crap. There is a great deal of bullshit in the marketing. Buyer beware!