My blender cup is made out of Lexan. Is yours?

So, as I am preparing mysefl for duodenum Y gastric bypass, I decided to invest in a top quality blender. I purchased the Blendtec Total Blender with the 96 ounce cup. I chose this make and model primarily because the 96 ounce cup comes equiped with a 4 inch blade (if you want to call it that) which features some pretty radical geometry. Other blenders don't even come close to these specs.

When you have bypass surgery, you will eat out of blender for 60-90 days before you can take solid foods. you blender will become a de facto component of you digestive tract, so you had better chose your gear extremely carefully.

I was willing to spend money to guarantee superior results. I spent nearly $400 on this device, a fact which most would consider preposterous. I am more than happy with this purchase. This device has completely exceeded my expectations, and with $400 on the table, I had some pretty stellar expectations.

Whilst I still have a stomach, I have been perfecting my tagliatelle bolognese. Tyler Florence claims the key to the bolognese sauce is the texture. It should be ultra-smooth, like baby food. Believe me, you never had it smoother than I do it. The Blendtec utterly devestates the raw hard vegetables (not to mention bacon) and turns it into a puree you just wouldn't believe. It takes just 50 seconds. From hard carrots, garlic, celery, onion, olive oil, mushroom bacon, herbs, parsley, bell pepper, tomatoes, tomato paste, wine, and milk down to puree bolognese in just 50 seconds of blending.

I feel sorry for any chef who does it any other way. I got you whupped in terms of speed and efficiency. This thing is the Brandon Marshall of blenders. It's a game-changer.

You should check out some the (very) funny videos on a website called "Will it Blend?" The videos busted me up sever times. They are amazing and even sometimes sickening. That's my blender, or a version of it, at work. I love the look on the old guys face as he destroys air guns, iPads, hockey pucks, electromagnets, golf clubs, etc.

I love tools that are massively over-engineered, and make short work of a task. I don't like laboring. I don't like wondering if my tool can get the job done. I want it to be more than capable. This is the case with programing systems, computers, and kitchen gear. I don't like fucking around with rubblish.

Believe me, when it comes to over-engineered, you've never seen anything like this before. This blender has a 3 horsepower, 1560 watt engine. To put that in perspective, very powerful garbage disposal units frequently have 0.75 horsepower engines. Yep, my blender is 4 times more powerful than a very strong disposal.

The most powerful food processors by Cuisinart and KitchenAid only boast a 1,000 watt engine. Many are only 700 watt. My blender is between 156-223% more powerful than these food processors.

Isn't that overkill? Yep, and I love it.

My blender cup is made out Lexan. What is Lexan? Lexan is a hyper-tough plastic they use to make aircraft windows & canopies, space helmets for astronauts, and bullet-proof windows for limos. If you watch those videos, you will see my blender destroying iPods, magnets, golf balls, hocky pucks, steel golf clubs, etc. The cup is hardly damaged at all by the process. The reason is simple: It is made out of Lexan.

The blade is patented, made out of some secret composite steel, and doesn't look anything like any blender blade you've ever seen. It's pretty radical. The speed exceeds 300 miles per hour at top speed at the tips. The blade is 4 inches long. Most blenders boast a paltry 0.67 inch blade. Yep, that's amazing.

The best thing about it is that it is the sensor microwave of blenders. It senses resistance to blend process. When resistance falls, the blender shuts itself off. It senses when it should stop.

All this will pay off handsomely when the doctors cut my guts out.

Very, Very Preliminary predictions about 2010's NFL Playoff Picture

So, I'm going to break my little self-imposed rule, and blog once more about the NFL. I'll blog about Google Android development next time.

Peter King just wrote up his latest NFL Power Rankings. I was little stunned by the graphic. Aaron Rodgers and Steven Jackson were side-by side and the caption said "#1 and #32". My Rams are at the bottom of the rankings, as per usual. But Green Bay at the top?

This was an eye opener. Just yesterday, I made up my chart of projected division winners, and I chose Green Bay to win the North. I wondered if I was bit bullish on a team that gave up 51 sacks last season and had an inconsistent defense. If you listen to Peter King, I may have been a bit conservative. I am glad others see it the way I do.

So here is my reasoning:

NFC

Packers win the North because: They are more talented than the Vikings. The Vikings aren't really as talented as people make them out to be. The Pack get their left tackle back. They got lucky and scored Brian Bulaga in the draft. The defense is in the 2nd year of Dom Capers' system. Favre is really hurt. He is indecisive about surgery. They won't be shit without him. With him, they will have some difficulties matching their success of 2009 against a greatly upgraded NFC North.

The 49ers win the West by default. I believe Leinart will be a good quarterback. The first year of transition from one great QB to another is always a bitch. The Cards will step down; two more losses makes them 8-8. Mike Sandow blogged about this. 10,000 simulations of the NFC 2010 Schedule shows the 49ers winning it by default 73% of the time.

The Cowboys win the East by default. I do not believe the NFC East will be a competitive division in 2010. The Eagles are going through QB transition. They will drop down. The Redskins are going through a total remake. They will not make the playoffs or even win in 2010. The Giants could make the playoffs, but that defense will have to rank higher than 30. It doesn't looks so good for the G-Men defensively. Basically the Cowboys runaway with it, unless my Rams have impregnated them with the poison pill: Alex Barron.

Now for the controversial pick: The Falcons win the South. Nobody repeats as divisional champ in this division. The Saints now have the bullseye on their backs... in more ways than one. The Saints are now going through a Federal DEA investigation on the Vicodin scandal. If Sean Payton gets suspended for 4-6 games, forget it. The title defense is fucked. Peyton is the key to the Saints. His ultra-aggressive game management is the key to their championship style.

The Falcons are a fundamentally sound football team. They have youth, they have experience, they have all-pros, they have role-players, they have offense, they have defense, they have special teams. Basically they have everything you need to be a solid contender.

I pick the Saints and the Vikings to make the Playoffs only as wildcards. One of these teams may get bumped off if the Giants are resurgent defensively.

I pick the Packers and the Cowboys to meet in the NFC title game, but the Falcons may crash the party. I think the Cowboys have to be the mild favorite to win the NFC.

AFC

The Ravens win the North. I don't need to explain this much. The Steelers are dead meat in 2010. The Browns remain dead meat. The Bengals can make this interesting, but I think the Ravens are the prohibitive favorite to win the division and the AFC.

I Pick the Chargers to win the West by default. I am not at all bullish on the Chargers. The Chargers have a 0.000% chance of visiting the Super Bowl or winning the Super Bowl. Why do I say that? Besides a host of issues, I have two words for you: Norv Turner. The Chargers will get in and get out of the playoffs quick: Like a Pinche Vato.

Now for a really interesting pick. I think the Dolphins will win the East. Why? Brandon Marshall will make Chad Henne a ProBowl player. These two will give them a good passing attack for the first time in ages. Marshall will help end the QB nonsense in Miami. The Jets are making splashy Hollywood box-office moves, but they are not that much upgraded. Their upgrades are offset by the loss of Alan Faneca and Thomas Jones, two offensive MVP players for them in 2009. Santonio Holmes cannot even begin to contribute until week 5.

What about the Patriots? As long as they have Belichick and Brady they have a shot! Will you fuck off with that shit already? Do me a favor and shove that saying up your mama's ass. You can say utterly stupid things to fools who don't understand the game of football, but you can't say that to me. It takes a lot more than a coach and QB to win in the NFL. The Patriot Dynasty ended in very early 2008 when the Commish handed the Lombardi to the New York Giants. They are not contenders in 2010. I agree with Mel Kiper's analysis: That Patriot team looked like they had other plans for the afternoon during the playoff loss to the Ravens. They looked disinterested in the process.

Now for another interesting pick: The Houston Texans win the South. I know, they supposedly have the toughest schedule. Watch it soften as the season goes on. That schedule not going to be as tough as you think in 2010. This is a good looking team. I would feel better about this pick if they had selected Mr. Ryan Matthews in the Draft.

So why not the Colts? Aren't the Colts the most powerful team in the AFC? In theory, yes, but they have the Super Bowl looser's jinx upon them. Remember: history teaches us that the looser of the Super Bowl doesn't even make it into the playoffs the next year. If so, they don't end so well. The Cards had the best result in ages, and they still got mauled by the Saints.

The Colts have to beat tall odds to get back to the Super Bowl and win. Nobody has done this since the undefeated Miami Dolphins of 72-73. Skip that. They have to beat tall odds to simply get into the Playoffs and win a game.

I pick the Colts and Jets as the two wildcard teams, but watch for the Bengals to crash the party. Right now, the Ravens are my prohibitive favorite to win the AFC. I mean a 19.5 point favorite to win the AFC Title game. They are very heavy hitters in 2010.

Post-Thoughts

All of this incredibly preliminary. I am talking very, very, very preliminary. I want to see the 1st quarter of every preseason game before I pick my contenders for real. We have to see how 1s-vs-1s look in the 1st quarter of the Pre-Season.

At this point, I can critique my own chart by saying the following: It looks too much like last year's playoff chart. The 49ers and Falcons are new to the picture in the NFC, but nobody else is. The Dolphins and Texans are new to the AFC picture, but nobody else is.

Each year and every year something between 4-6 teams that did not make the playoffs in the year prior make it to the playoffs. The Saints didn't make the playoffs in 2008. They are the Champions now. The Jets hadn't been to the playoffs in years. They went to the AFC title game last season with a rookie QB. The Steelers were the champs in 2008. They did not make it to the playoffs in 2009.

Believe me... I can go on.

My current chart may be a little too conservative in predicting change.

I think it's just about time to tune out on the NFL for 2010

So we are now in the deep off-season. The die is mostly cast for 2010... as much as it will be until final roster cuts come up, and the Rams get a shot at acquiring one or two valuable cast-offs.

It's no secret that this off-season did not go the way I hoped it would. Let us count the things that did not happen:

1. We did not fire Pat Shurmur.
2. We did not abandon our attempt to implement the West Coast Offense
3. We did not hire Mike Leach.
4. We are not implementing a Spread offense (for Bradford or Tebow)
5. We did not draft Tim Tebow.
6. We did not draft Toby Gerhart
7. We did not draft Dexter McCluster
8. We did not draft Ndamukong Suh
9. We did not acquire Albert Haynesworth
10. We did not acquire Brandon Marshall
11. We did not acquire Alan Faneca
12. We did not acquire Thomas Jones
13. We did not draft a few the excellent receiver prospects we could have taken in the 5th through 7th rounds.
14. We did not both to sign Jevan Snead when we could have had him for free.
15. We did not sign O.J. Atogwe.
16. We did not get a speedy resolution to our ownership muddle.

This is not to say that all of these things could have been accomplished. Most of those things could have been accomplished... if we had done the deal with Cleveland. So what did we do:

1. We kept Shurmer
2. We're supposedly going to run the West Coast this year
3. We drafted Sam Bradford
4. We drafted Rodger Saffold
5. We drafted Mardy Gilyard
6. We dealt Adam Carriker for a 5th rounder
7. We traded Barron for Carpenter
8. Steven Jackson had back surgery for a herniated disc
9. So far we manifest no signs of assembling a running back committee.
10. We're thinking about making an offer to Brian Westbrook.
11. We're going to let O.J. Atogwe go.
12. Kroenke's screwing around with the finance committee.

If you think I am painting a grim picture, it is only because I am painting a grim picture. Things are not well in St. Louis. The battle does not go well. We are not making a lot of progress.

A little while ago, I posted that the Buffalo Bills are a franchise drifting without a rudder, and in danger of foundering. Right now, ESPN expects project them as the team drafting #1 next year. Folks, my Rams resemble that remark. We are pretty damn close to drifting without a rudder and in danger of founding again.

I understand Steve Spagnuolo appeared on the Jim Rome show this morning, I look forward to hearing his comments with great interest. I wonder how he perceives the situation? I wonder how he can spin the circumstances. I am sure Rome asked him how he could pass on Ndamukong Suh. I look forward to that answer. I bet he tows the party line and says what you would expect.

"We're very excited about our choice, Sam Bradford. It's tough to win in this league without a quarterback, and we felt that quarterback was our most pressing need."

Just remember: I haven't heard the interview yet. I bet he said something almost exactly like that. It is predictable.

Anyhow, I have made my voice heard. I protested all of the management decisions made this year. I clearly presented an alternative program that would have been better. I have clearly pointed out why the present management direction (or direction-less-ness) should inspire no confidence in the fan base. I have clearly pointed out why implementing a WCO with Shurmur and Sam Bradford will end in tears.

It is clear that Devaney has set his course, and he is not entertaining suggestions for course-corrections at this time. So now we just have to wait for it all to collapse. It's a poor plan, so I think it will collapse. It's going to take a couple of more years in the basement, then maybe we can break out of this muddle.

The current moment in Ram history can be compared to the Richard Brooks moment in the 1990s. That was basically our 2nd failed coaching administration before Dick Vermeil showed up and fixed things.

Many of us believe Richard Brooks got a raw deal, and unfortunately, I think Spagnuolo might also. This time, I think it is really Devaney's fault.

The whole strategy and current direction is just badly thought-out and poorly conceived. The strategy is just bad. There are obvious foundational weaknesses in the program which should cause the house of cards to collapse.

Anyway... it is time to pack it in for another season. We missed our chances in 2010. Just put it away and drop it. Just leave it alone, cause we don't see eye-to-eye. There's only you and me and we just disagree.

When next I blog, I will blog about the Google Android kit. I intend to take all the time I have been wasting on Devaney's Rams lately and put that into something constructive. Namely: How to develop software for the latest rev of the Android OS. There are some exciting things happening there. They are building a champion... unlike my Rams.

Just a brief word about the Barron-Carpenter Trade

I don't have a whole lot to say about the Barron-Carpenter trade. I think it is as it has been characterized by the pundits: Two teams trading trash. Perhaps one man's trash can become another man's treasure. We all hope so.

Tulsa world is criticizing Spagnuolo and Devaney pretty sharply for making this deal.

http://www.tulsaworld.com/sportsextra/OU/article.aspx?subjectid=92&articleid=20100511_202_B1_SOMECH883217

The author argues that there are enough concerns about Jason Smith's health, Rodger Saffold's health, and Sam Bradford's health to warrant keeping Alex Barron around. His case is well made, and enough to give me pause... for about 8.2 seconds.

Bottom line folks: Barron is nowhere near as good as his defenders would have you believe 15 sacks in the past 32 games is pretty terrible. His defenders attempt to characterize that as an "average" performance. Oh bouy....

Let's play with that statement mathematically for a split second and see where that leads us. If all 5 of my men on the offensive line are average performers, and they each give up 15 sacks in 2 seasons, my offensive line will give up 75 sacks in 32 games (5 x15 = 75). That is an average of 2.34 sacks per game, or 37.5 sacks per season.

For the Rams 37.5 would be an improvement over the 44 we gave up last season, but still unacceptable. So here you have your explanation for the controversy over Barron: Barron gave up less sacks than some of the other guys, but this is damning with faint praise.

Even so, there should be no controversy. The penalties were the back breaker in the deal. 43 false starts in 74 starts? How many holding calls...? Although he has a big body for his position, the guy just doesn't play well.

Ram-fans seem to have such incredibly low standards these days... it is almost sickening. They don't seem to realize that we are never going to get out of the basement with "average" linemen such as this. To get out of the basement, we're going to need dramatically better talent than Barron brings to the table. None of these guys seem to recall Jackie Slater or Orlando Pace in their primes. They are just too young. I remember both of them. Barron was never like these two gents.

"Oh well, Dave, you can't expect to have guys like Jackie Slater or Orlando Pace all the time..."

No, that's precisely where you are wrong. We need to have guys like Slater and Pace around all the time. That needs to be a focal point of the organization. I am not surprised Devaney did this deal. I didn't think he would want Barron blocking for his $80 million baby.

So can Saffold be Slater and Smith-Pace, or vice-versa. Let's just say I am a hell of a lot more confident in these young men than I am in Barron. It is much more likely that both of these two men will turn into Slater & Pace than Barron would. After 5 years, we know what Barron is, and he ain't Slater or Pace.

So why not keep him as a back-up swing-tackle? I must confess that this is an interesting argument. Early in his career, Barron had a rep for being a flaming complainer. I doubt he would take a move to the bench very well. You have to be careful of that locker-room chemistry and atmosphere. Further, I don't think Devaney would want Barron blocking for Bradford even then.

If you read the comments on that Tulsa World article, you are going to read several folks who share my great concerns about Sam Bradford's robustness and physical toughness. The absolute premise of this piece is that Sam is fragile and the Rams line is not good. Several posting there think the Bradford era is going to be a short one in St. Louis.

How many times did I preach that message with conviction during the run up to the draft? How many times did I say that this whole thing was going to end in tears? How many times did I say they should be scouting Tebow, not Bradford?

Frankly, there can be only two possible reasons Devaney did not go after Tebow:

1. Devaney bought into the line that Tebow is not QB prospect. If this is the case, we have a fool at the helm and we need to change that quick.
2. Devaney believes Tebow is going to be a 2-3 year investment project before he bears fruit, and he is looking for a much more immediate turnaround on investment. He's taking a bigger risk for more immediate return. I think that is a snake-eyed bet.

We'll find out.

Anyhow, the Barron-Carpenter trade does not fundamentally alter the situation. It does not change the shape of things to come. It will eliminate a bunch of penalties. That is all.

So Kroenke done fucked up now

And it really pisses me off also.

I wrote a piece for the Bleacher Report earlier today summarizing Stan Kroenke's latest moves in front of the NFL Finance Committee. No need to re-write the whole piece here, I'll just give you the link.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/390269-so-ann-walton-kroenke-is-the-next-owner-of-the-st-louis-rams

You have to be amazed by the gall of billionaires. I suppose they never would have become billionaires if they didn't have a ton of gall, though.

Basically, Stan is throwing out one of the most brazen attempts to flaunt the cross-ownership rules we've ever seen, and he might even expect the NFL to go for it. This is enough to make the common man shake his head in amazement.

Stranger thing still: I pick up a commenter on the site, who I have seen before, who appears to have some legal background. He argues like a counselor retained by Kroenke. Of course, liars for hire never see anything wrong with their client's proposals... publicly, that is.

The crying shame of it is as follows: I am being forced to publicly make the case for Khan, when I actually favor Kroenke as owner of the team. Bouy... if this cat Armen is actually a lawyer for Kroenke he aught to be fired quick. He's a backfire bomber.

Personally, I think the Cross-Ownership rules are a crock of shit which belong to a bygone era. I have no idea what validity they may have had either in the past or the present. I find it difficult to understand why the NFL would maintain these rules at all. Makes no sense to me.

Perhaps the NFL was once afraid of becoming a wholly-owned subsidiary of Major League Baseball or something. No need to worry about that now.

The worst part is that we can expect the Rams' ownership limbo to continue for something like another 12 months, I am sure. Kroenke's first proposal, which is preposterous, is described by sources inside his camp as "a first offer in a complicated negotiation".

That sounds like this negotiation is going to be quite time consuming. It looks like Ram-fan aren't going to get a speed resolution to our ownership muddle. Looks like we can't move forward aggressively in rebuilding the team.

Oh well, it's much the same. There is no guarantee either owner would have approved a front-loaded 44-47 million dollar contract for Brandon Marshall anyhow. Neither of these gents may have wanted to spend $7.25 claiming Alan Faneca on waivers. We probably would have missed out anyway. Life sucks if you're rebuilding the Rams right now.

And what about Khan?

Having created a very stupid set of bylaws, the NFL may well have a legal problem on its hands if they suddenly and magically wave the rule (one time only) for Enos Stanly Kroenke. Under the current set of bylaws, Khan can reasonably expect the NFL to reject Kroenke's proposal. Khan should also be able to petition for a speedy verdict on his own bid to buy the Rams, as he is the first guy waiting in line.

So, if I am the Commish, how would I unfuck the situation? Okay here's how it goes:

1. Start by rejecting Khan's proposal for financial reasons. The Finance Committee already stated they didn't like a couple of leverage devices Khan is using in his bid. Do this first. Do this before anything else.
2. Destroy the cross-ownership bylaw entirely. Talk the guys into it. I think it will be easy. Ask them to explain why this rule exists in the first place. Just do away with it.
3. Let Kroenke buy the team outright. No fucking manipulations or disco dancing. Stan owns the Rams, the Avalanche and the Nuggets.

Anyhow... I'm pissed. My franchise is twisting in the wind. We've been left hanging during the uncapped year. Now is the time to sign those front-loaded contracts. We're fucked.

Steven Jackson had very minor back surgery...?

Just finished watching NFL Live! on ESPN.  They more or less confirmed my worst suspicions.  Neither Marcelus Wiley nor Mark Schlereth believe there is any such thing as minor back surgery.  Schlereth said he had 20 knee surgeries (!) but he would have taken 20 more rather than the single back surgery he had.  He says his back hurts him every single day.  It has ever since the surgery.  Evidently, it is not quite so with the knees.

They were particularly concerned about the effects of a herniated disk on a bull-rushing power back whose game is predicated on thumping defenders and making them pay for trying to make the tackle.  Now, ESPN has a vested interest in sensationalizing this stuff.  Worries about Steven Jackson will galvanize Ram fans.  Should I discount their statements for this reason?

Nope.  I know a little something something about these surgery things.  The doctors do everything possible to avoid surgery.  Surgery is the option of last resort for most of these guys.  Back surgery is particularly thorny business.  Doctors don't take that liability lightly or flippantly, especially with million dollar athletes.

There is another factor.  You are reading the writing of a guy who hero worshiped Earl Campbell.  Campbell is so badly damaged and worn down now that he is said to need a walker to make it any significant distance in public.  He uses his hands constantly to take weight off his legs when not using the walker.  They say the same about George Rodgers.  This is rumored to be happening to Jerome Bettis now.

In many ways, Steven Jackson's career has defied logic.  He continues to excel on a crappy team.  Nobody has to motivate him.  He is driven by the furnace inside.  He doesn't want to leave.  He hasn't been disgruntled.  He hasn't had scandals {recent false accusations set aside}.  He hasn't asked to be traded.  He has made it 6 full years as the single back in a pathetic offense, and he has been a thumper all the way.  He accounts for 40% of our offense.  He was both our leading rusher and our leading receiver last season.

Most running backs have a very difficult time getting that second contract.  The life expectancy of a running back in the NFL is just 4 seasons.  When the fall off into injury happens, it is usually sudden and swift.  Just look at Shawn Alexander.  Jackson is exceptional... but you have to worry... has his career begun that sudden and swift decline?  Very scary.

It is hard to for me to talk about Steven.  Why?  Because his career seems so damn tragic to me.  I can't imagine what it would be like to be the only great player on a team, to sacrifice your body and your career hammering away on a project that will never bear fruit in your professional lifetime.  I haven't seen a case this tragic since Walter Peyton.  Peyton did make it to a massive Super Bowl victory eventually.

What are the odds Steven's career does the same?

This is why I say Steven's career seems like such a tragedy to me.  It's hard for me to talk about this.  Anyway... I'll drop it.

I was the only dude in the Ram forums declaring that we should be looking at Toby Gerhart before the Draft.  They wanted to stone me... and that was just for starters.  I warned them that Steven's age and the beating he has taken should not be discounted lightly.  Let's just say my testicles were almost crushed in the uproar.  I even had the audacity to publish that statement at BleacherReport.com between day 1 and day 2 of the draft.  I got the cold shoulder.

Now it looks like the dick is up the other ass.  All those guys who thought I was a mad man sure wish Gerhart was on our football team now, don't they?

They are going to do the same fucking thing 3-5 years when Tim Tebow explodes.

What is worse, we have no real solid or sound backup for Steven.  Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket and jogging to market...

It is more than likely that Jackson will miss something like 3-5 games this season.  What do we plan to do during those 3-5 games?  Where is Sam Bradford's security blanket going to come from during those games?

You see... the official game plan for 2010 is already breaking down.

Billy Devaney's publicity stunt?

I was a nose tackle in high school and junior college. As such, you may be surprised to hear me harp on the offensive line as much as do, but you shouldn't.

My experiance in football was pretty damn simple. It can be sumarized as follows. When our opponents had a weak offensive line, I and my brothers ran rough-shot over the other team. They had no chance for victory and we knew it immediately. We didn't just beat them, we murdered them. It was easy. It was truly like a feeding frenzy in shark infested waters.

When the other JC had two or three outstanding offensive linemen, young men being recruited by PAC-10 teams, they usually won. My experiance during such games was entirely different. I remember some brutal battles, a lot of physical pain, exhausion, more than one injury, and needing to lie down dead for about 24 hours after the game.

The game of football is won and lost in the trenches. If you win the battle at the line of scrimage, you win. If you loose the battle at the line of scrimage, you loose. It's just as simple as that. As Warren Sapp says, the most valuable Real Estate on Planet Earth is that one little yard in front of the football. Winning that one little yard each snap makes all the difference in the world to your outcome.

It is the hallmark of rooty-poot football team to ignore it's need for offensive linemen. Tutti-fruity executive-leadership would prefer to spend money on splashy PR moves like signing glamorous quarterbacks and running backs. Why waste money on unglamorous big uglies? The organization can get more PR, sell more jerseys and tickets doing the glamor thing. Why do the ugly unglamorous thing?

Because guys like me will utterly kill your prettyboys, that's why. Your splashy PR move will be a very temporary thing indeed if when my brothers and I come to town.

It is the hallmark of a rooty-poot team to select quarterbacks high in the 1st round, and repeatedly go bust due to deeply intrenched organizational cancers.

Cancers? What cancers? How about this one: The tendency to pull an $80 million dollar publicity stunt selecting Sam Bradford and not secure that investment with $2 or $3 million spent on acquiring Alan Faneca. That's a good one. I would call that a fuck up.

To make the principle more general I would formulate it this way: Any organization that makes the big and splashy move on the quarterback without building a massive offensie line is a rooty-poot organization.

Think about how many times the Bengals have gone bust. Jack Tompson, David Klingler, Akili Smith. Now they are working on Carson Palmer. Granted, the Bengals are a good team right now, but this is a recent phenomenon. This has been a bad football team over the years.

Think about the Lions. Chuck Long, Andre Ware, Joey Harrington. Now they are working on Matt Stafford. The filthy bastards are digging the poor kid an early grave. This is a rooty-poot organization that cannot seem to understand the importance of the offensive line.

Consider the Cardinals. Kelly Stouffer, Timm Rosenbach, and now Matt Leinart. These may all be busts, or Matt Leinart may yet make it in this league. We will have to see. One thing cannot be denied, thought: they signed Alan Faneca. Now we have neither Alan Faneca blocking for us, nor Ndamukong Suh to challenge Faneca. We could have had them both working our trenches.

Consider the Colts. Art Schlichter, John Elway (they couldn't even sign him), and Jeff George. Now they are workin on Peyton Manning. That is 3 QBs selected at the absolute #1 position before they finally hit upon one. Granted, the Colts are now the model organization. This is the doing of Bill Polian. You already know what I think of Bill Polian. He's the best executive in the history of the league. Before Polian, the Colts were dogshit for more than 20 years.

Frankly, a week or two after the draft, I am still in a state of shock that Devaney would ignore the risk-tables and draft:
1. A junior quarterback
2. With a history of injuries
3. Who hasn't played in some 18 months
4. Who stood with his arms folded at the combine while Tebow ran his ass off.
5. Pay him $80 million
6. Draft just one tackle (2nd round) to help protect our new quarterback
7. Draft only a single 4th round receiver to help him

And expect success. I personally believe our offensive line is no where near ready for this big splashy move of selecting a QB #1. So great are the odds against success that it baffles the mind.

This brings me to my worst fear. What if Devaney does not expect success from such a high-risk venture? What if Devaney is doing this to simply turn around the Rams' foundering economic fortunes for the near term? What if this is not a football motivated move at all, but rather a entertainment spectacle PR stunt?

Come now, the thought must have crossed your mind? Have you noted how complicit the NFL Network is in featuring the Rams now that we have selected Bradford? Have you noticed that they pay little or no attention to Detroit's selection of Ndamukong Suh? The NFL Marketing department desperately wanted Devaney to do this. Now with a face for the franchise, the marketing department can go to work.

One thing is certain: Devaney is either a genius or he is a crazy high-stakes gambler drunken on board a river boat casino. It's either going to work or it's going to go down in flames.

I can tell you this: If it had been my $80 million, and if I had the line the Rams have, I would selected the most robust, fastest, most durable, most healthy QB in the draft. Of course, that is Tim Tebow. He would not have cost $80 million either.