Jamie Dukes and Philip Rivers: Opposites attract.

I'm going to start this blog in a somewhat strange way: With a tale about my dad. My dad has been divorced for about two years now, and recently he has been thinking about re-entering the market. Believe it or not, market conditions are pretty good for an old man.

Since I have been on an astrology kick lately, he asked me what sort of woman he aught to go after. My dad just happens to be a Sagittarius, so I told him that his strongest attraction would be to a Gemini woman. You see, Gemini and Sagittarius are 180 degree opposites. Geminis are born in late may (right now) and June. Sagittarians are born in late November and early December. They are half a year away from each other.

Opposites attract. Opposites have the most powerful attraction. Negatively charged magnets go after positively charged magnets. High Ph. goes after low Ph. Heat seeks cold. Air fills a vacuum. Negatively charged electrons orbit around positively charged protons. We're talking about physical laws here folks. There is some real science behind this theory folks.

Pop wasn't too pleased with that answer. He had recently had a bad experience with a Gemini woman he had high hopes for. The mere fact that he had had this experience and high hopes was proof positive of the theory, but he wasn't prepared to hear this. Of course, I understood him completely. I have suffered these disappointed with my opposite numbers as well.

A couple hours later, after grilling with some friends, the two of us are watching a corny but fun cult comedy called Highway to Hell (1991) brought to you by Stiller Clan (Jerry, Ben, Amy and mama Anne Meara). Suddenly, an actress named Pamela Gidley makes her entrance. My dad sits up sharply and has an instant synastry reaction. He immediately asks "Who's that girl!" I whup out my trusty Thunderbolt and look her up on the imdb.com app.

I immediately crack up laughing "Guess what, Pop? You just reacted big-time to a Gemini woman. Pamela Gidley was born June 11, 1965 in Methuen, Mass." He looked a little disconcerted. Maybe the magic works after all?

Now let's move on to the NFL Network. Rich Eisen asks Jamie Dukes and Warren Sapp who should be favored to win the AFC West in 2011... presuming there is a 2011.

[Incidentally, Dukes is a Gemini and Sapp is a Sagittarius. They work very well together despite being on opposite sides of the line and the Zodiac.]

Immeidately, Dukes declares the San Diego Chargers. I immediately bust up laughing. Dukes is a broken record on this subject. Rich Eisen challenges him sharply, asking Dukes to justify his statement. Like me, Rich Eisen just doesn't believe in the Chargers anymore. I don't know how you can believe in the Chargers. I think they are ripe for the wheels to fall off in 2011. If you ask me, they are clearly on the downslope.

Dukes centers his faith in the Chargers upon the very person of Christ Jesus... er... Philip Rivers. Philip Rivers is the marquee player and the only franchise QB in that entire division. Philip Rivers is the guarantor of the Chargers' supremacy in the AFC West. Rich wasn't buying it. Neither was I.

Why is Jamie Dukes to irrefutably sold on Philip Rivers that he believes the guy can single-handedly win the AFC West? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Jamie Dukes was born on June 14, 1964 and Philip Rivers was born on December 8, 1981. Jamie is a Gemini and Philip is a Sagittarius. There is a powerful oppositional affinity there folks.

Now, Philip has plenty of merit. This guy consistently ranks as one of the top passers in the league. He's a hell of a good leader too. Dukes isn't just pissing in the wind when he says this is a marquee QB. However, most of the rest of us are not so enamored with the guy that we think he can do it all by himself as the rest of the franchise falls down around his ears. Jamie is and does.

So are you saying that Jamie Dukes's predictions for the Chargers is based entirely on an irrational confidence in Philip Rivers born out of oppositional affinity? Yep, that's precisely what I am saying. It's completely irrational to believe Philip Rivers can win the AFC West single handed. Jamie thinks Philip can win it single-handed due to oppositional affinity.

I, too, know the problems of oppositional affinity. When the Steelers called the Rams trying to deal Ben Roethlisberger, I was just about ready to listen to that deal. Ben just happens to be a Pisces and I happen to be a Virgo.

Several times during this draft season, I stiffled myself as I was preparing to sing the praises of Christian Ponder. He happens to be a Pisces also. I still think Ponder can turn into a heck of a good QB, but as I write that line, I am a little concerned that I may be biased due to oppositional affinity. I also happened to be the guy who spear-headed the Draft Trent Dilfer campaign in St. Louis back in 1994. Yep, Trent is not just from my home-town college, he's also a Pisces.

Oppositional affinity is powerful thing folks. This is nothing to be trifled with or dismissed easily. Nobody will excite, disappoint, overjoy, or infuriate you more than your opposite number from around the other side of the year. They get under you skin big time.

Just ask Terry Bradshaw why Lynn Swann was his favorite receiver when he had John Stallworth on the other side.

Are the Patriots rebuilding...?

Sometimes I watch the NFL Network and shake my head in disbelief. Last night one of the topics up for discussion was this: Are the Patriots rebuilding? Has the window closed? Is the Patriot way a thing of the past?

Eisen launched the discussion by mentioning that all the Patriot-Way guys are now on ESPN or in other locker-rooms around the league. Rich... I said the same thing last year! You can read my blog entry from September 12th, 2009 and see that I was way ahead of you. Naturally, the Patriots went 10-6, a fact I predicted on week 11, and they were a quick-out in the playoffs. The Ravens beat the shit out of them on their home field in the playoffs.

I do not think the Patriots are making the playoffs in 2010. I could be wrong about that. I still need to see every last 1st quarter of the pre-season before I can be sure. Right now, the Patriots don't look like a playoff team to me. I don't like Mel Kiper, but I totally agree with his comment about the Patriots: They looked like they had other plans for that afternoon during the playoff loss to the Ravens. They looked disinterested in the process that afternoon.

So why are the good folks at the NFL Network blind to the fact that the Patriot dynasty ended early in 2008 when the Commish handed the Lombardi to the New York Giants? There is a simple answer to this question: They aren't blind. They know. There are lies, damn lies, and then there is the promotional function of the NFL Network.

You have to understand that the NFL Network has but one purpose in life: To promote interest in the upcoming NFL season. To wit, they must cultivate interest in the New England region. It does not help their cause any if all of Boston tunes out in 2010 because the Patriots are over and done with. No, they need to promote interest in the New England region to keep those DirectTV subscribers watching those games.

Rich, I know you know. You know that I know. I know that you know that I know. You know that I know that you know. You are practicing outright intellectual dishonesty in your evaluation of the Patriots. You are doing so to fulfill mission objective #1 of the NFL Network: To promote interest in the upcoming NFL season, even in the New England area, where the Patriots are dwindling down.

Just to make sure the Patriot fans don't try to call me a homer, understand that I understand the NFL Network is soft-peddling the horror in St. Louis also. These guys have not been open and forthright in their questions and assessments of management direction in St. Louis. I think they do understand how bad things are, and they are deliberately understating the facts.

They are doing this for one reason: The NFL Network's prime directive is to promote interest in the upcoming NFL season, even in St. Louis, where my Rams are still dwindling down. They are interested in promoting the upcoming NFL season, even in Pittsburgh, where the Steelers are likely in for one gruesome year.