The Greatest Show on Turf

Many will complain that I should not put the Greatest Show on Turf in my series covering the NFL's greatest all-time teams. They will protest that I am being a homer. Don't do that until I skip the Patriots. Then you can call me a homer.

As we have heard many times, and many more this past weekend, the Greatest Show on Turf was probably the greatest offense the NFL has ever seen. It's the only offense to score more than 500 points in 3 consecutive seasons. Although it only resulted one world championship, we did make it to two Super Bowls. We should have won that second one.

Cheating bastards...

What was the secret behind that amazing and astounding chemistry? How could they be that dynamic? Well, why don't you just have a good look at the general synastry picture here. I know my Pentecostal brethern Kurt Warner and Issac Bruce would not approve of this analysis, but let's set that aside for the moment.

Look at the number of key players who are water signs:

1. Kurt Warner (Cancer)
2. Marshall Faulk (Pisces)
3. Issac Bruce (Scorpio)
4. Ricky Proehl (Pisces)
5. Orlando Pace (Scorpio)

Let's not forget about Dick Vermeil who is also a Scorpio. What about the rest? Well, Roland Williams, our much forgotten Tight End, is a Taurus. He goes great with everybody.

The most interesting fact about this unit is that Az-Zahir Hakim and Torry Holt are both Geminis, and they both had tremendous chemistry with Kurt Warner.

Sirus 1.1 says Kurt and Torry are totally compatible. Consider the following numbers.

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 257

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 103

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 164

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 119

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence: 0

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 172

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 92

The story with Az Hakim is pretty good, too.

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 371

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 31

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 9

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 192

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence: 39

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 122

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 36

What is the key to Kurt's outstanding chemistry with Gemini? First, Water and Air can mix with some difficulty. Second, Kurt is a 1st day Cancer. He was born right on the edge of Gemini. Finally, Kurt has a considerable amount of Air in his chart.

The offensive line is a remarkable mixture when you look at it. Gruttadauria and Nutten are 180 degree opposites, and you know the story about opposites. They attract and complement one another tremendously. Likewise, Fred Miller and Adam Timmerman are 180 degree opposites. Orlando was actually the odd man out on this unit, although he is all the more compatible with everyone else on the team.

Consider Coach Dick Vermeil (Scorpio) and Mike Martz (Taurus). They too are 180 degree opposites, and there was incredible dynamism between them. We were never the same after we lost Coach Vermeil. It was when these two were together that we had the best of the motivational disciplinarian and the mad scientist. Incidentally, both are super-compatible with their skill position players.

One more point: Martz (Taurus) is side-by-side with Hakim (Gemini) and Holt (Gemini) in spring time. This usually leads to good relations.

One of these days I am going to write a piece about what 1999 meant to me. It's crazy. It's so crazy, I still wonder if some of you will believe me. This is why I hesitate to blog about it.

Orlando Pace has been released by the Bears

And I do believe he will retire. His next stop is the Hall of Fame. I am glad he is so well thought of by everyone. Nobody objected when the question was laid out yesterday. During the prime of his career, everyone believed Pace would be a Hall of Famer, but often times what we think then doesn't persist now.

I am glad Pace's legend has continued and grown a bit. Contrary to popular myth, he did not invent the pankcake block, but he was a mauler. I remember the great days of Marshall Faulk running left to kill the clock after one massacre or another. (We used to humiliate our opponent.) Pace would knock his man 8-10 yards down field. Marshall could do a lot with a block like that. It is regrettable that Marshall was not on the NFL Network yesterday to comment on Pace's release.

Some folks are objecting to this release, declaring that the Bears have their heads up their yin-yangs. I regret to say it is not so. The Rams had the worst line in football in 2007 and 2008. We played 2007 without Pace. With played 2008 with him. With him or without him, we had the worst line. In 2009 we released Orlando. You don't think that a team with the worst line in football would release a future Hall of Famer--and one of their emblematic players--if he had anything left, do you? Regrettably, Pace did not have anything left.

My first glimpse of Orlando in a Chicago Bear uniform involved Elvis Dummervil running around him like crazy on route to smashing Jay Cutler. Cutler was not a happy man. I did not know much about Elvis at that time. I was horrified that this half-stack of pancakes was making Pace and Cutler miserable. Later I learned that Elvis was quite a pass rusher. Still, if he had faced Pace in his prime, Pace would have squashed him like a bug. In short, I understand Chicago's decision to do this.

This does not change the glum feeling I have right now. Another charter member of The Greatest Show on Turf is now out of the NFL. Issac Bruce retired also at the end of 2009. I don't know if Dre Bly will be back with the 49ers. Torry Holt was released by Jacksonville, and he is trying to catch on with Chicago right now. So far, the Bears have not made a move. I am not absolutely certain, but I am close to certain that this would make London Fletcher and Leondard Little the very last members of our championship team still active in the NFL. If Jeff Zgonina catches on somewhere, he will also be a survivor. All of our offensive players will be gone if Holt doesn't catch on somewhere.

There is something elliptical here. The last time we drafted #1 overall, we took Pace. As we prepare to draft #1 again this year, Pace leaves the league. It is almost like the Land of the Lost. The books must be balanced: One enters, one leaves. I guess I have a sense of optimism that a new epoch is dawning, but there is also a glum reminder that much time has passed since our glory year, and we have little to show for it.

If we draft Tebow, we'll be trading our sorrows and our shame for the joy of the Lord.