I will not miss the "Never miss a Super Bowl Club"

I can't wait for the season to end this year. Let's finish this fucking 2 week stretch and get it over with. I never want to see the "Never Miss a Super Bowl Club" again.

I've commented on NFL sponsors many times before. My last adventure in this land of opportunity involved Pomplamoose, whom I grew fond of. Of course, I'm not fond this time. It would seem that Visa is intent upon driving us mad with a new form of Chinese water torture: They are going to keep hitting us with one goddamn commercial after another about four old geezers who have never missed a Super Bowl. The geezers have seen them all... from the stadium seats.

Don't get me wrong: This would have made a splendid 15 minutes piece on 60 minutes. Their story is quirky and interesting. Unfortunately, 60 Minutes declined to do a story on them. Instead, Visa decided to saturate our football time with commercial after commercial about them.

Of course, the objective is to convince you that you should go to the Super Bowl and finance it on Visa cards. Do you know how much a trip to the Super Bowl will tack on your Visa card? Don't be surprised if it ends up being $10,000, even if you are trying to be conservative. Ordinary working people don't go to the Super Bowl... ever... under any circumstances.

Many of the things they say about the event seem downright ludicrous to me. I think it is time to set aside mass-debt consumption and drink a little of the New York Yankee's famous reality potion again.

Do you know the origin and genesis point of the current labor strife between the NFL and the NFLPA? Neither do I, but there are many who claim they do. Rumor has it that the NFL commisioned a very expensive survey of 15,000 self-described rabid NFL fans. The study was economically stratified, racially representative, geographically dispersed, age-spaced, etc. Much to their shock and horror, the front office discovered that only approximately 2% of all NFL fans have ever seen an NFL football game live, in person, at the stadium. 98% of all NFL fans have never sat in the bleachers for an NFL game.

The top reason was total cost of the outing, and especially the cost of a ticket. Ordinary people cannot afford to see a game, period. Naturally, this does not seem like a healthy thing. The NFL bosses are said to be wonder how the overwhelming interest in the NFL can be maintained without fans experiencing that communion of the saints that takes place in the stands. Hence the fight over cost-capping and cost-controls.

I myself have seen one game. I watched my Rams play the Redskins in RFK stadium for the 1986/87 NFC Wildcard round. Sam Bradford had not been born yet. We lost that one. I only managed to see the game because someone had greased my dad with tickets. At the time he was working in diplomacy in Washington D.C. I have never seen a game--from the stands--since early 1987. Maybe he was crawling by then. One of the key reasons is total cost. Another is the fact that we just don't have any teams here in L.A.

Human jealousy being what it is, you can imagine that the "Never Miss a Super Bowl Club" is generally rubbing people the wrong way. Of course, Mr. Excitement is a perfect dick. He's missed babies being born, but he has no intention of ever missing a Super Bowl... ever... for any reason. He says this with a great degree of self-righteous indignation. Well, we can certainly see you have your priorities right Mr. Horses-ass. Congratulations on achieving the status of enlightened-being in this lifetime.

Does everyone want to go to the Super Bowl and be there? I think the answer is clear: Only if your team is playing and with a high degree of probability that they will win. I don't want to be there unless the Rams are playing. I wouldn't want to be there if the Rams were blown by 20 in the game. I am sure glad I wasn't there for SB36. I don't blame Adam Carrola for walking out of the Stadium and watching the game at the Hotel. I probably would have done the same thing. That was a devastating, spirit crushing loss that derailed us. Of course, one of the assholes in the "Never Miss a Super Bowl Club" claims that as one of his favorites. He's obviously from Boston.

My two cents about going to the games? I, personally, would rather see it at home. Traffic is a bitch. Parking is a bitch, and costs $35... or $990! Marching 2 miles from parking to the stadium is a bitch. Paying $250 per ticket is a bitch. Sitting in a stadium where everyone is smoking is a bitch. Paying $10-12 for a beer is a bitch. Not being able to see the replay is a bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I think the experience is just better at home. I feel I would be missing on the premier analytical experience if I go to the stadium to see the game.

I understand the entire impetus towards luxury stadiums is to overcome some of these difficulties, but not others. Ticket prices and beer prices will go up as a result of all the stadium construction costs.

I will soon have much to say about the construction of a luxury stadium here in Los Angeles County. That subject has been heating up lately as if it were inside an industrial strength salamander grill.

In any event, I will be overjoyed when we no longer see the Visa commercials for the "Never Miss a Super Bowl" club.

The Sophomore Jinx?

A lot is being written right now about whether or not Sam Bradford will experiance the sophmore jinx in 2011. I'll give you my short answer and I will give you a longer answer. The short answer is: It can't be avoided, but it won't be as bad you think, and it probably won't last long. Now I will give you a longer answer unpacking that conclusion.

There are a number of factors conspiring against Sam's 2nd tour of duty in the league:

1. Pat Shurmur has moved on to Cleveland
2. Josh McDaniels in the new Ram-OC.
3. This means moving from the West Coast Offense to the NFL Spread.
4. There will be new rookie receivers to play with.
5. There will be new offensive guards to play with.
6. We have this little labor strife over the collective bargaining agreement going on right now. As a result of this fact, here may not be any OTAs or Mini-Camp. If so, Josh McDaniels will have precious little time to install his new system.
7. If worse comes to worse, and the lockout wears long, it could delete all of training camp and the first few games.

As far as the Rams' specific problems are concerned, I don't think things are nearly as bad as some portray them. When people say that there is a great deal of difference between the WCO and the NFL Spread, they are quite correct. Still, what is the value and importance of that fact? I think it is fairly low. I don't think this is particularly important point.

Sam was in the WCO for exactly one year. He was in the Spread for most of his high school and college years. The pertinent question is this: How different is Josh McDaniel's Spread from Bob Stoops's Spread? In truth, I do not know the answer to that question. I suppose assesments would vary. I can only tell you that they look somewhat similar to me. I can't tell you how much difference there is in language and terminology under the hood, in the playbook.

Until proven otherwise, I still believe that moving to Josh McDaniels's Spread will be more like a home-comming at Oklahoma than learning an entirely new system. In 2010, Sam was learning an entirely different system. In 2011, I don't think so. I think he'll be learning a slightly different variety of a system he already knows well.

However, all our vets will be learning a new system... That could spell some trouble. The brand new receivers and guards will create some initial problems in timing and cohesian, but if we chose our people well, this should pay big dividends a few games down the road in 2011... assuming there is a 2011.

There are adverse circumstances facing Sam, the whole roster, and everyone else in the league this year. We could throw in the media people also. Everyone is in danger of being compromised by the labor strife and lockout looming on the horizon. That's why both parties involved better compromise soon and sign that new CBA.

Andrew Brandt of the National Football Post seems to believe these problems are not so bad as I think they are. He claims that negotiations always saunter along at a lazy pace until the drop-dead date looms large. When the deal has to get done, it gets done. He says he was a party to a hundred different negotiations and the deal never got done until it had to be finished. That's just how the game is played. He seems to believe that we will have a new CBA in March.

Now on the other hand, you have the absolutely fabulous "in a state of war" rhetoric thrown around by DeMaurice Smith, the boss of the player's union. This sort of rhetoric only seems to strengthen rumors I heard early-on about DeMaurice Smith being a wrecklass adventurer on quest to prove himself stronger than Upshaw in fiery crucible of battle. Right now, DeMaurice Smith does resemble those remarks. He's also making Roger Goodell look pretty damn good. Trust me, you don't want to do that to your opponent.

Let us hope they will resolve all this bullshit so the millionairs can contine being paid by the billionaires.

Anyway... I hope I have made my point. Given the confligration of events coming together in 2011, a sophmore slump of some kind probably cannot be avoid. The worst factors in this function aren't even under Rams' control. These things have to be settled at the league level.

I also don't expect the sophmore slump to be that bad, or last that long. A move to the NFL spread may hurt offensive cohesian in the first couple of weeks, but it will help Sam and the whole offense perform a lot better down the road.