In case you missed it, Avatar is now the all-time box office champion

I meant to blog on this subject a week or so ago, but we've had some action and movement with the Senior Bowl; ego I have been pre-occupied.

James Cameron now owns the top two grossing films of all time. A few years ago, it looked as if Batman: The Dark Knight might have a shot at the title, but it fell well short of Cameron's Titanic. Now Cameron returns after a long hiatus and breaks his own record.

There are many hilarious aspects to this story, if you ask me. I recall some (now) hysterical headlines in the Los Angeles Times Entertainment section which indicated that fan interest in Sherlock Holmes was far greater than interest in Avatar. According to this now infamous piece, box office experts were projecting higher earnings for Sherlock than Avatar based on fan interest. Try to take a breath in between belly laughs. You'll pass out if you laugh too hard. God knows I fell out of my chair when I found that old newspaper laying on the floor next to my easy chair.

By now, we know that Sherlock Holmes made a little less than $200m at the global box office. Many of us were stunned that this movie made so much money. Sherlock is now finished in the Theater. Avatar is still rolling and still #1 at the box office. Sherlock is destined to circle the drain at A&E Network sometime in the next 12 months. On the other hand, Avatar is destined to become the 3d benchmark for the new Blu-Ray era.

Recently, I monitored some hard push-back against Avatar on a number of film fan sites. In particular the forums at IMDB.com and RottenTomatoes.com had a few anti-Avatar and anti-Cameron campaigns running through them.

One of the focal points of this critical attack has been District 9, oddly enough. Critics of Cameron have stated that District 9 cost a mere $30m USD to make, while Avatar cost some $300m. They prompt you to decide for yourself which turned out better, especially on bang-for-the-buck basis.

For me, that is a no brainer: Avatar wins hands down. I barely even liked District 9. It is visually ugly film. It contains a very dim view of humanity and the Prawns too. This is dark movie, full of ugliness and gross-outs. I guess that's nice if you are 13 going on 14. It also has preposterous narrative moments, things no intelligent Sci-Fi fan could ever possibly buy into. Worst of all, there really is no hero in the movie. There is not one truly likable figure in the entire movie. On the other hand, Avatar is a visually beautiful movie. It has good characters, who are easy to like. It contains a decent and even optimistic view of both humanity and the Navi. I found Avatar far more enjoyable than District 9.

There is no doubt that Cameron has his detractors. They were vocal in predicting his failure before Avatar came out, and they are trying to play spoiler now. So why is that true?

The conventional wisdom in the media press says that it is 100% pure unadulterated jealousy. Hollywood is one of the most jealous places on earth. It is full of artists and money men who are absolutely distraught that the world does not recognize their greatness. It is also full of 'successful' producers with 50/50 records. Many long-time survivors in Hollywood have one economic failure for every success on their records. You can't even join the club until you have declared bankruptcy twice, according to most reports. This is primarily because they insist on boring audiences about their psychological hangups in (so-called) A-Films that no one wants to see.

In this environment, James Cameron is a marked man. You have to remember that Cameron is a dude with an undefeated record. Cameron has never had an all-out financial bust. The closest thing to it would be Strange Days (1995). Even this made a small modicum of money. Cameron has never bored audiences with emotional melt-down movies about one of his divorces, so he stands accused of never taking artistic risks. Ergo sum, he does not deserve his success.

A friend of mine, who happens to work at NBC Universal, put an even finer point on it: Cameron is not liked because he is not Jewish, and has never partnered with the Jewish financial aristocracy of Hollywood. He has never had substantial Jewish partners in his projects. He has his own little Anglo Canadian band he works with. When he wants visual effects, he doesn't do it in California; he takes the work down to Weta Studios in New Zealand. Since he has not contributed to the Holy Temple on high holidays, he does not deserve his success. It irks them that this Goy owns the top two box office blockbusters of all time.

It should be noted, in passing, that this particular friend {who will remain unnamed} is totally Jewish and from New York. He says all these things in a mocking and derisive tone, because he doesn't like the attitudes of some of his bosses in the business. He is a big James Cameron film fan, and wants to be just like him in a few more years.

In any case, Hollywood is a place loaded with Schadenfreude; these guys rejoice in each other's failures. Most of Hollywood still awaits a failure from either Cameron or Pixar.

Pixar's Up is a very sad and painful movie

I saw Pixar's "Up" on Monday night. I saw it in 3d on the DLP screen at the AMC16 in Woodland Hills. I did not write about it immediately because I wanted to give it a bit of time to digest in my gut and gestate in my mind.

After several days of consideration, I am largely in agreement with the critics. It is another Pixar classic. However, it is not my favorite. It is certainly not as good or entertaining as Wall-e and The Incredibles. The Incredibles was the most fun I ever had watching a movie. Wall-e was an unexpected scifi masterpiece, and also a weepy sentimental romance between two robots. I loved both aspects of Wall-e. This could be the most unlikely combo of affects since the original Blade.

I should mention, in passing, that if you had told me before I saw Blade that I would love a move about a black vampire, biker, Samurai, martial artist, who killed bad vampires... I would have told you you were crazy. That is the most unlikely combo of affects ever to work in the history of film.

But I digress. Back to the subject of Up.

Up is a movie about a nice, shy, somewhat grumpy old man whose dearly beloved wife has died. He was a shy and nerdy kid. He had the good fortune to meet his soul mate early in life and live long number of years with her. But now she is dead, and he is grief struck.

Carl Fredricksen is driven by grief throughout the course of this movie. Everything he does in the first half of the movie is motivated by grief. He bitterly regrets not doing all the things he and his beloved wife Ellie always wanted to do during their lives. He regrets that she died with wishes unfulfilled. He regrets that they died without children. It's wrenching as he reads through her childhood diary titled "Stuff I am going to do" and he knows she never did it.

As a result of this... and a little something else. He launches his airborne house on an adventure to Paradise Falls, South America. This phase of movie follows a pretty crazy acid-trip, dream logic. This clashes with the first 10-15 minutes which are realistic montage. Like most, I believe this opening 10-15 minute sequence is the most powerful portion of this movie. It is pretty close to flawless, and pretty overwhelming.

The remainder of the movie is less perfect. Along the way we run into dogs who talk with the aid of computerized collar, dogs who fly biplanes, dogs who cook and serve human diners, etc. This is not unprecedented for a cartoon, but it feels weird in the context of this motion picture.

Ultimately, on this road-trip, Fredricksen is letting go of the past, and embracing the future. He dies to the past, and is reborn to the future. Like a snake who must shed his skin and harden a new one, Fredricksen has to cast off the trappings of his former life so he can construct a new life without Ellie. It is happy and good that he succeeds. It is painful to watch along the way.

On the way a childhood hero is unmasked as a bad guy, Carl usurps control of the hero's mantel, he lets go of the house he lived in with Ellie for all those years, planting it where he said he would at Paradise Fallse South America.

So, how do I rate it? It's an A- effort. Its good. Damn good. But ultimately, it is too sad to be much fun. They front load the pain too. You get the "Dumbo's mom in jail" scene pretty early in this film. I don't know about you, but this one hit me like a ton of bricks... Real unexpected like. From that moment forward, the shadow of death and grief overhangs every second of this film. It is not until the very end that you are sure Mr Fredricksen has made the transition to a new stage of life.

Mr. Fredricksen is one of the lucky ones. Most old men die within a month of their wives, if the wife goes first. That says a lot about men. If you know that much, you know what kind of pain this shy old man is going through.

Many critics commented that this is Pixar's funniest comedy. I have to take issue with that statement. I deny that. I didn't find it very funny at all. The audience cackled with laughter throughout. I found it surprising--if not untoward--that they would laugh so freely given the extremely somber theme and tone set by the first 10-15 minutes. Perhaps they did not comprehend the theme of this movie. That is common, and happens often enough.

I found the situations humorous at best. At best, I laughed out loud twice. Mostly when Doug achieved victory over Alpha.

Ultimately I would rate this movie no higher than 4th place on my list of favorite Pixar movies. The Incredible still beats out Wall-e by a quarter-point. Ratatouille takes 3rd place. Then we can talk about Up.

I saw the movie in 3d, meaning I wore the glasses throughout the film. I saw very little pop out of the screen at me. As is always the case, 3d is not well exploited here. Don't bother. See it in 2d.

So we have two killer movies to see in the theater this weekened

All week long I have been monitoring RottenTomatoes.com. A very interesting phenomenon has been in progress there all week. Specifically, two of the highest rated movies of the year were setting in the blocks for launch today... Highest rated by professional movie critics, that is. We'll see how the crowd likes them.

Specifically, I speaking of Pixar's new movie UP and Sam Rami's new movie Drag Me to Hell. It is no surprise that Pixar is getting this kind of reception. Sometimes I think that all the great artists and story tellers have clustered in one spot in this historical epoch. That is Pixar headquarters in Oakland/Emeryville. I wonder if these guys ever go to the Blackhole to watch a Raider game? Seems like a damn unlikely place for the greatest art studio of this epoch. On the other hand, I am astounded by Sam Rami's critical reception.

By a score of 87-2 Pixar's new movie is scoring a killer 98% on the T-Meter. Although this is a 3d comedy, they say this is actually Pixar's most serious subject ever. It is based on a Dutch proverb which say that "We grow old far too soon, and wise far too late." It is unbelievable that this movie is outscoring both The Incredibles and Wall-e

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/up/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/incredibles/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/wall_e/

Much more surprising than this is the score Sam Rami is hauling down with his new horror movie called "Drag me to Hell". By a score of 69-4 this flick tallies a massive 95%, and is tied with Star Trek for the #2 score of the year. Un-goddamn-believable. I don't remember the last time I saw a horror movie score this kind of critical praise. The Descent only got 85%. 28 Days Later only scored 88%

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/drag_me_to_hell/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/descent/

http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/28_days_later/

Gotta see them both!

My greatest concern is that Pixar is going to suffer another unexpected spoiler-launch this year.

Last year Wall-e went head-to-head with Wanted, a movie that nobody expected to do as well as it did. Wanted damn near split the box-office with Wall-e, despite that fact that it was absolute crap on film. I am talking about bullshit rubbish of the most obnoxious and pompous variety. It was a Frankenhooker movie that stole it's first 20 minutes from the Fight Club, the next 20 minutes from The Matrix, the next half-hour from Star Wars. It crapped out in the final quarter. A Frankenhooker is movie that stitches together dead body parts from successful classic movies. You can identify the original owner's body parts clearly. The surgical stitches are visible and ugly. The result is bad laughs... if you are lucky. Wanted had one nude scene with Angelina Jolie, perhaps the most overrated Heroin Skeezer in the history of film, and therefore it made tons of money. I was completely horrified. The poor taste of the American public is often astounding. Lamentably, the critical press mostly went along with the bandwagon.

The consequence of this was Wall-E had a much smaller box office than it should have had. Fuck Slumdog Millionaire. Wall-E was the best movie of 2008. It should have won Best Picture at every event. It also should have made a lot more money.

2009 is just like Deja Vu all over again. Everybody knew Sam Rami was making a horror film. Nobody cared until recently. Everybody thought this would be a very small recreational project for Sam. He's just taking a break between Spider-Man movies, that's all. Now he has stunned the critics, and we are going to see a stamped at the box office.

You see, horror movies are big business. Good, bad, or indifferent, they almost always make money. The lowest risk investment you can make in Hollywood is to invest in a cheap horror movie. LIONSGATE has almost achieved major studio status by producing a ton of these movies. When you get a preferred director with a reputation with the people, and combine that with massive critical praise, all teens will head to the theater.

Why does this happen? It is a documented fact that horror movies make the best date flicks. If your a teen guy, and you are trying hard to fuck your teen girl for the first time, take her to a horror movie. She'll pop wide-open. She will need the comfort of a strong male presence during the most intense sequences. She will bury her nose in your armpit for the very first time. There, she will acquire a fairly good dose of your pheromones. Don't use too much soap on your pits, and don't put on any deodorant. It will obfuscate the scent she needs to acquire. If she gets a shot of those pheromones, her hypothalamus will light up visibly on a CT scan. Neuro-Endocrinologists have proven this beyond a shadow of a doubt. This is the moment when she discovers that she loves you, and can't live without you. She needs your comfort. She's going to start fantasizing about having children with you. She has been chemically activated and turned on.

Another interesting theory is that death seems to stimulate the female reproductive instincts. Men kill each other. Women have to replace them quickly. The tribe would die out quickly otherwise. This seems to be a deep unconscious genetic biological motive that we do not perceive or comprehend at the rational level. Still, it is real and powerful and effective.

A lot of guys score after horror films.

So what is the consequence of all this? It is likely that Pixar is going to be severely challenged at the box office again in 2009. It is conceivable that UP might even loose this #1 spot this week. If that happens it will be the first time in recent history that Pixar has failed to acquire this spot on launch week.

Although I am glad that we have two good prospects for this weekend, I grimace at the thought of a superior art work loosing the box office to a teenage fuck-fest horror movie. I regret that a movie which promises to be Pixar's greatest achievement yet may be spoiled by teen sperm-pressure, and a misinterpretation of the current banking real estate market.