Showing posts with label Universal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Universal. Show all posts

Saturday, February 13, 2010

The Wolfman rocks! See it at the best possible theater!

So yesterday I played hookie from work and went to see The Wolfman. I saw it at 2:00pm at the AMC16 theaters in Woodland Hills. In short, I loved it. I dragged a friend of mine named Colin out to see it at 7:00pm. I am glad I saw it a second time, immediately, under different circumstances. This will soften the scortched earth polemic I was going to write against the movie critics. Don't worry, those jokers are going to catch some bullets, but I was planning to nuke them.

The first time I saw the movie, it was at a state-of-the-art movie theater. I am talking about Sony 4K DLP projectors, and maximum quality THX sound. It had stadium seating with reclinable chairs. In short, it is a circa-2000 theater, and everything we would expect from a quality theater. The second time I saw the movie, it was in a circa 1971 movie theater with old-fashioned film projection and no THX sound. We had old fashioned seats. This theater provided a different and inferior experiance.

The first time around, I could see no reason at all for many of the criticisms leveled against this movie. Even now, I no evidence for most of the criticism. However, some shots stuck in the old-fashioned theater. Several critics have accused Benicio Del Toro of giving one of his most mumbling performances in recent memory. The first time around, I felt that was a straight-out lie. Every word out of his mouth was perfectly inteligible. The second time around it seemed like three different actors were all mumbling indestinctly. The first time around I though Emily Blunts performance was just fine to outstanding. The second time around she was a bit flatter. I still didn't agree with those who said she gave a lifeless and off-key performance. Rubbish!

The moral of this story is simple: This is a fully modern movie, designed from square one for the fully modern digital cinema. Do not see it in an older theater. See it in the most recently constructed, most state of the art facility you have. In my neck of the woods, this means Arclight, Muvico, or Mann Chinese. Analog does bad things to this movie. I am fairly sure that there is going to be a sensational Blu-Ray effect when it is released.

Now for the critics. Heyhehehehehehahaha... {evil laugh} You guys are loosing your street cred right now as we speak. A flat-cold disagreement between the people and the critics is taking place on Websites like Metacritic.com and imdb.com. The people love this movie. The critics do not. Ergo, the critics lose. I love it!

You guys need to get off your faggotty high horses and ditch the art-school bullshit you were taught. It has warped your minds, and your judgment. Enjoy movies as natural men and women uninfected by crappy doctrines of art. See it from our point of view. Get rid of this monumental bias that Gay romance constitutes an A film, and werewolf movies constitute C or D material.

False reports about this movie:
  • The pace is poor: Bullshit! Bull fucking shit! This movie is very fast paced. It takes just 22 minutes to get to the point where Lawrence is bitten. It takes just 45 to get to his first transformation. It takes just 1 hour to get the point where he is werewolf running around London. It only takes 80 minutes to enter the climax sequence. At 98 minutes the movie is over. This is a fast-pace movie. I love the fact that it doesn't waste any time or even frames. Every 1/24 of a second counts for something. I love the efficiency.
  • Benicio Del Toro Mumbles: Not in a good theater he doesn't. Sorry you saw it with piece of shit film projection there boys.
  • Emily Blunt is flat as a pancake: False. Not in a good theater she isn't. Her performance is just fine.
  • Anthony Hopkins only gets a little devilry: Rubbish! This is his best badguy role since Hannible Lecter. He gets a chance to really cut loose, and he is a tremendous bad guy in this movie.
  • The other performances are flat: Excuse me, did you see this movie? What movie did you see on that drunken night? Hugo Weaving gave one of the best performances of his career here! That was a stand up and shout performance. He was great.
  • It's super gory: What? What movie did you see? Have you seen Saw or Hostile? That is gore. There is some monster gore in this movie, but it is brief, and not celebrated.
  • The guys in Werewolf suits look dated: They did that to keep the spirit of the original alive. Believe me, these are good suits. It is the dated approach, but if you saw the originals, you know why they did this. This critique is off-point.
  • They don't understand Goth: Say wha...? This was arguably the most gothic movie ever! This is a gothic masterpiece!
  • Rex Reed says that "Sometimes the monsters hunt you!" is a howler of a bad laugh: Rubbish! There is nothing funny about that line. Rex, you are getting pretty old. I think 4th stage dimentia due to advancing Azheimers disease is getting to you. Some false connection went off in your mind as the result of an organic malfunction. But then again, you always were off point.
In short, you can see that I totally and vehimentally disagree with critics on just about all major points. I think we have a classic monster movie here. It is at least twice as good as Francis Ford Coppola's Dracula. Maybe three times as good. If you liked that movie, you will love The Wolfman.

Ignore the critics. Go see this movie. See it in a state of the art digital cinema.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The Great Depression II will be good for Hollywood

In Hollywood, there has always been a huge battle between the artists and the entertainment companies. It is almost like the struggle between pitchers and batters in baseball, or offense and defense in football. This is the entire warp and woof of the game, from an insiders perspective.

Entertainment companies are run by businessmen. They want to make money. The best way to do that is to give the people what they want from a movie: Entertainment. Declinations from this stance are punishable by low profits and bad losses.

By the way, I should mention that the definition of hit has nothing to do with what the critics, the people, or the Oscars say about a film. A hit is defined as a 15% rate of internal studio return, within 12 calendar months, after all costs and payouts have been made. 15% pure cream makes a movie a hit. If you make this rate of return within 12 calendar months, you made a hit. It does not matter how the film is ultimately remembered or what people said about it. It made money. It was a hit.

Artists are manic, depressive, schizophrenic people with sexual and substance abuse problems. They are also extremely narcissistic. They think there can be nothing more important, or timely, or provocative, or artistic than stories about their personal problems. They think personal confessions are the stuff of art. Artists like money, but they like to tell their own personal stories about heroine addiction and homosexuality and life with AIDS much more.

Entertainment companies realize that grueling, punishing, depressing stories about actors and writers with heroine addiction, homosexual issues and AIDS related illnesses have zero commercial value at the box office. That's right, I said zero commercial value. When you toss in the manic, depressive, bipolar schizophrenia behavior, the screenplay really gets ugly beyond ugly.

These movies very seldom make a 15% rate of internal studio return within 12 months. Most of them loose money. 75% of the people in the United States of America have no interest buying a $10 ticket for a film about an actor who peddles his ass on the streets of West Hollywood whilst awaiting his break, only to become addicted to smack and infected with HIV. 50% of the people wouldn't watch that movie if you showed it to them for free. 25% wouldn't watch if you offered them free chicken and biscuts along with a free ticket.

Nevertheless, this doesn't prevent 20 such screenplays from being written each and every year. Go down to West Hollywood and stop at any Starbucks for a cup of coffee. You will see three guys, each with an Apple MacBook, writing just such a screenplay right now. I assure you, these three guys are each convinced that they are writing the most important literary work in the past 20 years. They know they are way beyond cool. They will all be shocked when doors get slammed in their faces. The corporate studios just can't recognize great art, or so they say.

Now how does this connect with the Great Depression II? Movies did well during the Great Depression I. It turns out that Hollywood is surging right now, but not everybody is doing equally well. It is said that Paramount may well fold in the year 2009. They are going to release just 18 new films this year. In the glory days, they tried to have 1 film ready to launch every single week. Not so now.

Everybody is keenly aware of Paramount's problems. The other four major studios are watching Paramount's dilemmas very closely. They know many of the material weaknesses in the Paramount system are evident in their own systems as well. They know they could suffer collapse unless they rid themselves of the problems Paramount is suffering from.

What are these problems? You might call it the Labor-Accord of the 1960s. I'm not talking about Unions or pay or benefits. I am talking about the balance of Art vs. Entertainment. You see, ever since the 1960s, there has been a clear understanding that goes a little something like this.

Artists have to work on a certain number of blockbuster A-pics each year for their respective studios. These are movies designed from jump street to make money. Hopefully they all make money. Some profits from these successful blockbusters are used to finance a limited number of art movies which the artists basically control. This is where you get strange movies like the ones made by Fox Searchlight, or Disney's Miramax. These movies contain a lot of drug addiction, insanity and homosexuality. Everybody understands that very few of these art films ever turn a profit. If you don't work on the blockbusters, you don't get to do an art film. If your blockbuster doesn't make money, you don't get to do a movie about your psychological train-wreck. You don't get any pudding until you finish your meat.

The only problem with this theory is that the blockbusters cost a ton of money, and they don't necessarily hit. When they fail, blockbusters loose a ton of money. Eddie Murphy's notorious Pluto Nash lost something like $90 million for Paramount. {This is an example of a worst case scenario.} The key point is that there are no sure-fire blockbusters. Some people in Hollywood say you need two good blockbusters just to cover the cost of one blockbuster failure. When you throw in the failures of the art films, you really start to encounter financial problems.

There were artists in Hollywood during the Great Depression I. They suffered the same insanity, drug addictions and homosexual issues current Hollywood artists do. There were also studio businessmen in Hollywood during the era of the Great Depression I. There was no Labor-Accord like the kind we have today. It was understood that money was too dear, failure too damaging, and studio-collapse too close to waste lots of capital on art films. The result was that very few art flicks got made during the Great Depression I. Thank God for that.

Rather, Hollywood constructed the Grindhouse system. A couple of film crews were formed at each major studio, and they were supposed to grind out 1 film every 2 weeks. Everybody had the same amount of time to write. Everybody had the same budget to shoot the pic. Some turned out. Some didn't. Any major actor under contract might shoot 10 or 15 movies per year. John Wayne did this during WWII. The objective was entertainment, always. The objective was to give the people a good show for their money, always. You were an entertainer, working for an entertainment company in those days, period. If you wanted to be an artist, you could get on a plane for Paris or Rome.

Most of the movies considered all-time classics were shot under this Grindhouse system. Casablanca was shot in this fashion. Casablanca is one of those films thought to be in top 5 all-time list.

Might this system return today? Might history repeat itself in Hollywood as the Great Depression II sets in?

Not exactly, but something like it is going to emerge. The model the Majors are studying very closely is Lion's Gate Entertainment. Lion's Gate has become little-big studio. It is the largest and most profitable of the minor studios in Hollywood, Pixar included. Right from its very inception, the guys driving the Lion's Gate project had a clear-cut objective of becoming a major studio. They didn't want to replace 1 of the big 5 studios, rather they wanted to become the 6th major studio. How do you do this?

Unless the studio execs can see a clear-cut path to profits, Lion's Gate will not finance a film. This means they make a lot of comic book films, action blockbusters, and horror movies. The objective is to give the people a good show for their money. The objective is to give the people what they want: Entertainment. If you work for Lion's Gate, you are a professional entertainer working for an entertainment company.

Lion's Gate is detested by the Hollywood art community. The members of SAG do not speak well of Lion's Gate. They are considered the ultimate corporate commercial studio in Hollywood. This means they don't finance art films. You don't see a lot of movies about heroine addiction, insanity and homosexuality coming from Lion's Gate. Despite their hard-hearted rejection of the art film, Lion's Gate is winning this game. They keep turning in one great winning season after another. SAG members often shake their heads in dismay that a studio can so brazenly disregard art and yet do so well financially.

If Paramount should fail, Lion's Gate will likely be the chief benefactor of this collapse. Lion's Gate will probably buy "I Love Lucy" and "Star Trek". Lion's gate will probably gain the Lion's share of the investor capital that Paramount once controlled. When the Hedge Funds return to the table, Lion's Gate will probably become the 5th major studio.

Moreover, the collapse of Paramount would send shock waves of fear through Warner Brothers, Universal and Fox. It is a copycat league. Teams emulate success and they anti-emulate failure. You can expect Warner, Universal and Fox to move away from their current systems {the Labor-Accord Paramount also practices} and move towards the model Lion's Gate manifests.

This would mean no finance for art films... At least from the major studios. This would mean artists would have to self-finance their movies about insanity, drug addiction and homosexuality. Most artists don't like that idea. They seem to be aware that they won't be able to punish society with very many films on this subject should these events come to pass.