Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Karina Smirnoff loves Tim Tebow

According to the New York Daily News, Karina Smirnoff wants to dance with Tim Tebow.  She says Tebow would be a worthy successor to the NFL's panoply of former contestants on Dancing with the Stars.  This includes such super-luminaries as Emmitt Smith, Jerry Rice, Kurt Warner, Hines Ward, Warren Sapp, Jason Taylor, and Lawrence Taylor.

You can read about it here.

Karina took it a bit further than that. She declared that all she wants for her birthday is to see Tim Tebow dance on Dancing with the Stars.  Incidentally, her birthday is 1/2/1978.  She just turned 34.

I have to warn you my son, Karina has big a thing for you.  You may like her as well.  My computer indicates that the two of you have some pretty hot synastry.  This is despite the fact that she is a Capricorn and you are a Leo.  It won't be that pleasant, but there is some serious heat there.

Based on these numbers, it's pretty clear that she intends to cougar you.  As a Virgo guy, I extend to you my sincerest envy.  I would jump on Karina Smirnoff without one instant of hesitation.  But this is to be expected.  I am a Virgo guy, and she is a Capricorn lady.  That's a natural.  Furthermore, she's a perfect trine (120 degrees) away from me.  That's the best of all angles.

Capricorn and Leo?  Not the most normal match up.  It's a 150 degree angle known as the inconjunct.  This means you two have nothing in common.    Still, you two have some lovely scores.  Much better than those of Katie Perry.

Well son, you may be unfamiliar with this breed of woman, so let me give you the scouting report.  Don't under-estimate the power, aggression and strategic cunning of the Capricorn woman.  Capricorn is a femme earth sign, but it is the greatest of the cardinal leadership signs.  These are super-disciplined, driven competitors, who work relentlessly to get what they want.  They are accustomed to winning.

You need to think about a female version of Don Shula, Chuck Noll, Sean Payton, Jim and John Harbaugh. All those guys are Capricorn coaches.  If she coaches you, she will use this style and approach.

Believe me, I would accept coaching from a woman like this, but I am a natural-born sucker for a Capricorn woman.

Still, it would be best for you to let your ribs heal up and spend every waking moment doing quarterback drills with John Elway.  It would be ill-advised to allow this delicious, delectable, scrumptious, delightful temptress to divert your attentions from your primary mission this off season.