Monday, July 12, 2010

Paella Power! Spain 1 Netherlands 0!

How 'bout dem Spaniards! First Pau Gasol brings the Lakers their second consecutive title, busting up the hated Celtics in th process, and now Spain has won the world cup! I bet Pau is one happy dude today. I hope there is no bad news to spoil it.

I want to go on the record and say that it was the Paella what done it! Yep, the paella is responsible for this victory. You are what you eat, and this is the lunch of champions. Saffron is the key to vigor and health. The pistil of the crocus is the key performance enhancing agent here. It's totally legal too.

You guys really don't know what you are missing out on.

I should have grilled one yesterday evening, but the mission was not entirely successful. Both the Weber Genesis 310 and the Solaire made it to my balcony last night, but I had two strange problems.

First, the simple one. I think I got the wrong propane can for the Solaire. I got a chubby round stout one. I think I needed the long and skinny one. I am still learning about Propane tanks. I never used this stuff in my life. I am visiting with my vendor today at lunch to confirm that this is a simple error and not a real problem.

Second, the weird one! The Weber fired up without problem last night, as expected. I was preheating the paella and grill together, when suddenly I began to hear the unmistakable squeal of metal fatigue. WHAT?!?!? METAL FATIGUE?!?!?!?! Yep metal fatigue.

I opened the lid, and I swear I could see the left stainless steel grill flexing. WHAT?? Yep flexing just a little bit. I shut down the burners, and tried to remove the grill. It was hard. The grill had warped. It was stuck hard. I hauled it out of there with some force. You can clearly see that this heavy-duty stainless steel grill is now warped compared to the other. They are manufactured identical, and if you overlay them now, one is clearly warped and the other is straight as the barrel of a gun.

I boggled over that one for about an hour. This is obviously a defect in materials. There has to be something wrong with this sample of steel. This cannot happen under ordinary circumstances. I guess I am just lucky (1 in 25 million) bastard who got the defective steel. I am sure my vendor is going to freak out when he sees this. I bet he's never seen anything like this before.

Incidentally, if you know about these Weber steel grills, you are probably freaking out right now. This is the most rugged steel grill I have ever seen in my life. It could easily double for prison bars and hold a gorilla. When you first lift or carry one of these things, you cannot imagine it bending or warping in any way. Nevertheless, the warped grill is in my trunk right now. It's going back to the vendor at lunch.

What fresh hell is this!


I am sure I will be grilling that Paella tonight... unless I grill a Tagliatelle Bolognese instead. I would also like to grill a Beef Bourguignon stew just as soon as my 12 quart Dutch Oven arrives in the mail.