Saturday, May 14, 2011

To blog or not to blog on this subject? That is the question.

Just had a shocking lost memory recovery moment this afternoon. I found it quite jarring for several reasons. How did it happen, and what was it?

Like many a computer programmer, I own tons of disk storage; four terabytes to be precise. Like many, I never seem to throw anything away. I have accumulated tons of rubbish over the past dozen years that I have no use for and could easily dispense with. This afternoon I decided to destroy history. It seemed fitting since I embarking on a new chapter of life in these days.

As I ruthless disposed of one directory after another, I came upon the most ancient folder of them all. The metadata indicated that the folder had been created in the year 1999 using Windows 98SE2. The folders title was "Reminders". I didn't remember a thing about it. The folder contents had last been modified in February of 2002. Curiosity got the best of me, so I had to take a look inside before destroying it.

Inside this folder was a single text file. It was a plain text file encoded in good 'ole fashioned 8 bit ASCII code. The title was GiftReminder.txt. This file was last modified on 2/23/2002. This was not what I expected. I expected lots Christian/Pentecostal materials, not a single "don't forget" text file. I expected Christian materials as this folder dated circa the end of my time as an Evangelical Pentecostal.

Just what was in that file? I popped it open and in it were a couple simple lines:
Reminder: Stephany's sweet 16 party is coming up next weekend. Make sure you go down to the L.A. Jewlery district and buy something Amethyst for her.

Suddenly a bunch of memories came flooding back. I may or may not have mentioned it before on this blog, but for some 8 years of my life I was a pretty devout Christian. This epoch dated from Easter Sunday of 1996 to the late-fall of 2002.

By the year 2000 I was a pretty knowledgeable fellow, and loaded down with computer skills the church needed. I was elected an elder in my Assemblies of God church in West Los Angeles. I wasn't just any elder either. I was the Pastor's right-hand man. Whatever the problem was, I handled it. Whether it was with skill or money, I handled it.

The two of us became the best of buddies. I was around 33-35 at the time. I became something like an uncle to his kids. Pastor M, as I will call him, had a daughter named Stephany. The two of us had a special affinity. I was like a second papa to her, and I do mean papa.

I'll never forget the day she asked me to buy her an Cadillac Escalade. She was serious too. This was not joking request. She was pretty sure she could talk me into buying her an Escalade. Ask and ye shall receive, she reminded me. We went round and round about that one. I asked her how her feet would touch the pedals. At age 14 she was pretty short, and obviously too young to drive. I got a real kick out of that. I cracked up laughing for weeks over this entire episode.

Don't get the wrong impression: This was entirely platonic. Nothing ever occurred between the two of us. I do recall lamenting once or twice that God must have placed a heavy curse on me. The only females I had a great rapport with with outrageously and preposterously too young for me. I was mostly thinking about Stephany at those times.

Fast forward to Feb 23, 2002. Stephi is about to turn 16. I am 35. I am reminding myself to get her something with Amethyst in it as a birthday gift. The Amethyst was suggested by her mother. I was warned not to get her anything with a diamond in it, as this would be immoral. I still think mom was only half-joking.

Let's tie it all together folks:
  • Stephany was turning 16 post Feb 23 in 2002
  • This means she was born post Feb 23 in 1986
  • Amethyst is the birthstone of a Pisces girl (or boy)
  • As I recall, I bought her a set of Amethyst ear rings about week before her party.
  • If the party was on her Birthday, or around that day, this would make her birthday around 3/4/1986
  • Readers of this blog will know that I used the Kepler/Sirus Synastry engine to compute my ideal mate's birthdate.
  • Sirus says that the magic date is 3/12/1986.
  • 3/4/1986 is just 9 days off the magic date, and it yields some impressive scores.
  • Still, this pales in comparison to the 3/12/1986 Pisces date.
Frankly I don't know when or where she was born, though. I just never asked. I certainly was not aware of the fact that she was a Pisces. I was barely aware of the fact that I was a Virgo in those days. I didn't keep track of such things in those days. Now I do.

My brother Ben was living with me through that entire epoch (1998-2002). He now resides in San Francisco where he continues to try to make it in a rock 'n roll band. After this jarring memory recovery this afternoon, I called him and I gave him the disturbing news.

"Guess what, Bro?" I said to him

"What?" he asked.

"I just found an old file that indicated Pastor M's daughter is a Pisces girl born in 1986"

Quote my brother Ben: "No shit!?! I always thought you two [meaning me and Stephany] were going to turn out like The Thorn Birds. You were the elder priest she couldn't have. You were going to wind up raising you wife."

This was not exactly the comment I expected from him. That was another jarring moment this afternoon. That hit me like a brick. This was truly kung-fu treachery, as Black Dynamite would say.

Don't draw any false conclusions. I am not going to go looking for Stephany; if for no other reason than because I believe it is very unlikely she was born on the 12th. I am a perfectionist, after all.

What is this incident mean then? It's major, major, major food for thought. For the past 6-8 months, I have been groping around, sifting through evidence, setting up experiments, trying to determine whether there is any accuracy at all in these projections the Kepler/Sirus engine makes.

Now suddenly, a blast from the past hits me smack between the eyes. I am not sure that this is a half-joking "what the heck" project anymore. I experienced a powerful rapport in the past with a girl born close to that date. I was immediately and completely accepted and trusted by her. For the first time, the magic 3/12/1986 date is exiting the realm of pure conjecture. For the first time, I have a serious and grim look on my face as I discuss this subject.

Readers of this blog will know that I have cracked hard on the Pisces folks frequently. I just did that in my last blog entry a few hours ago. This discovery has me reconsidering my position.

Between 2002 and now I had a near-miss with marriage. She was a Pisces. This is the big one that got away. It was pure hell getting over it. I was depressed for two years. It almost killed me. Years later, I came to discover that this 3/15/1981 Pisces had a mighty score of 413. 413 is probably double Stephany's score, which is probably around 200. This still pales in comparison to the 3/12/1986 date, which is vastly greater in all categories.

Still, these two Pisces women could not have been more different in every way. Frankly, I can't think of a single similarity. One was a head-banging death-metal queen who smoked and drank in excess. She had many character flaws, and to this day I don't understand how she drove me insane with love. Stephany was a good Christian girl and a preacher's daughter. She had no discernible character flaws I can remember. She was outstanding in ever respect. We're talking night and day differences.

If the 3/12/1986 Pisces is a lot like Stephany, that would be reason for great gladness. Nay, it would be reason to fall on my face and praise God.