Still, I have transformed enough to see a 180 degree turn around in the attitudes of women.
Today at lunch, I got the clearest indication of that fact. As always, I traveled to the Thousand Oaks 24 Hour Fitness to perform my mid-day aerobic workout. After finishing with the finger-print reader, I move to my first workout station: the tread mill. Two 20-something females were walking on a pair of my favorite machines. I naturally needed to walk past them to reach one of the unused machines.
As I walk by, the 24ish brunette looks me up and down like I am smoldering pork chop fresh off the grill. This was a barefaced look of hungry lust, executed with impunity. That was quite a shock to my system. So much so, I didn't do anything about it. I was just too flabbergasted.
About 40 minutes later, she chose the Lifecycle to the left of mine, this despite the fact that there were 4 open cycles to my right. With my peripheral vision, I caught her checking me out a couple of times. The Bio-Anthropologists I studied with at UCLA would tell you she got that close so she could smell me. Whether she understood that consciously would cause an argument amongst them. Still, they would agree she got that close to evaluate the chemical contents of my sweat.
I think any 44.7 year old man would be surprised to note a 24ish brunette giving him a hungry look, but it is much more so in my case. Such looks have been few and far between in my largely overweight lifetime. Just 5 months ago, I weighed in at 330 pounds and the looks of unmitigated contempt were both visceral and palpable.
There have been a few borderline cases in the past couple of weeks, but this was the first unmistakable case. There have been a few strange cases at work, but I won't go there or mention that stuff. There was a strange honking incident a few weeks back, but I am still not quite sure what that was all about. This event today was the first indisputable and unmixed look of lust I have seen on a woman's face in quite some time. It's probably been 11 years to be frank with you. I was probably 33 the last time this happened to me.
Surely, this has to be considered a 180 degree turn-around. I'm in the midst of a turn-around almost as big as the 1999 Rams.
Now this 24ish brunette would not compete with the Taurus gallery I posted on this blog a few weeks back, but she was not ugly either; not by any stretch of the imagination. This was a reasonably good looking woman. Of course, if you know anything about the Thousand Oaks area, you know it is pretty affluent sector of Los Angeles county. These are not poor women from a disadvantaged family backgrounds in this gym. All the more reason to be shocked and stunned.
I have been cogitating this event all afternoon folks. After kicking this can around for hours, I have definitely reached a conclusion that is sure to be controversial. Women are far more visually inclined than men are. There is no doubt about it. Women are more inclined to visual attraction that guys are.
For many of you, this will seem like a completely counter-intuitive statement. Surely you have heard women complain about how shallow men are, making choices based exclusively on looks. Surely you have heard it said that women must spend unlimited amounts of resources making themselves beautiful because men demand it. Surely you have heard it said that men fall in love their eyes while women fall in love with their ears.
I want you to know that all of these statements are absolute balderdash.
Most men I know rate women exclusively on the basis of how sexually inclined they are. A hot woman is not necessarily a beautiful woman. A hot woman is a woman who will bed down with you for the night. I know guys who declare themselves to be 100% dawgs. They openly say that they do not care if the woman is ugly or not. They will put a bag over her face if necessary. If she is ready and willing, she is a sexy catch.
I have frequently been horrified by some of the ugly women described as "hot" by large numbers of guys I know. She's only described as hot because she is perceived as ready and willing. Physical beauty has little or nothing to do with it.
Guys are far less visual than women are.
I have never heard women evaluate a guy in this manner. I have never heard a woman say a guy was sexy based on whether or not he was willing to bed down for the night. Neither have I heard a woman say she would be willing to put a bag over his face if necessary; he's sexy if he's ready for action. Quite the contrary. All guys are presumed to be ready and willing. He's only hot if he is good looking.
This is only true because women are far more visual than guys are.
When a woman is evaluating whether a guy is hot or not, it is 100% about good looks and dress. Whether he is a catch or not depends on economic factors, but heat is determined 100% by looks. Many women have a tough time concealing their contempt for fat or ugly guys. Most would never be willing to date a fat or ugly guy... unless he was extremely rich or powerful. Even in the case of wealth, it would be distasteful to date a fat or ugly guy.
This is because women are far more visually inclined than guys are.
Now, some fellows are are able to overcome disadvantages in the looks department with brilliance and comic wit, but it ain't easy. Such fellows will freely tell you they had to overcome considerable disadvantage. One of my favorite actors, James Woods, is full of stories about this kind of thing. Through confidence, daring, willingness to play odds, and not being particular, he became known as something of a ladies man in Hollywood. Still, he will tell you that most women were not particularly inclined towards him as a man of marginal looks. He had buddies who were far more successful than he, expending far less effort. This is because they had the advantage of good looks.
Let's understand one thing about a woman's drive towards beautification: It is entirely internally driven. She beautifies herself because she wants to look great. It makes her feel great to look great. You can't tell her good looks aren't important. She just knows they are. She does it more to compete with her friends and rivals than for the sake of any guy. She gets a bigger kick out of a look of envy from an ugly girl than she does from a look of lust on the face of an ugly guy. That much is certain.
Women are far more visual than guys are. They visually judge each other, and they visually judge guys.
Truth be told, most women know they can get a guy--almost any guy--anytime they want. It is just a question of whether she is willing to loudly signal that she is ready to go. That's not what women are after as they compete relentlessly with each other to be the most beautiful. Nope, she is just expressing that powerful aesthetic drive that dominates her soul.
The drive towards aesthetics is everywhere in the female soul. Only women insist on a match set of kitchen knives so everything is color-coordinated. Only women describe a website as lousy based on its look vis-a-vis it's functionality. Only women describe a car as good or bad based on it's look first and functionality second.
Women are far more visually inclined than guys are.
I was fortunate that I was not born both fat and ugly. I am all the more fortunate that I have good healthcare coverage that was willing to pony up for gastric bypass. I am blessed with great drive and work ethic in the area of physical training. This is what did it for me in Football, Karate, Power Lifting and in my Army life.
Still, the transformation I have experienced in the past 5 months has already made it extremely clear to me that women do indeed make choices with their eyes. They are stereoscopic color vision animals that receive 85% of their sensory input from their eyes. Five months ago, I couldn't buy anything but a contemptuous look. Now I am getting a few lusty looks.
Looking down the corridor of time, I know I will hit my first major weight goal sometime in early July. At that point I will weigh about 24 pounds less, and I will have a higher lean weight also. My estrogen levels will be lower. My testosterone levels will be higher. My health will be better. I will be stronger. My pheromones will be more powerful. I will buy my first set of new clothing.
Just as surely as I am sitting here, I know for a fact they will be after me at that time. The few warning signs I have seen recently forecast a flood.
I say that without the slightest degree of ego or narcissism. It's more like shock, awe, and disbelief. If you knew me, you would know the word narcissist does not describe me in any way shape or form. I may be intellectually arrogant, but self-loathing rather than self-loving on the physical front.
As I sit here and ponder this astounding reversal of fortune, I can only conclude that women are far more visual than men are.