Saturday, October 16, 2010

What it is to be a Virgo


So a friend of mine gave me a copy of “Astrology for Lovers” as a birthday gift a little more than a month ago. He correctly surmised that I was on an astrology kick, and having fun with my new ‘favorite video games’. At first, I thought the book was rubbish as it contradicted so many of the common themes I have heard from so many sources.

Then I read the chapter on Virgos. That was a real eye-popper. I have laughed my ass off at a number of the descriptions of Virgos that state we are neat and punctual perfectionists. With that quote in mind, check out this quote which opens the chapter on Virgo:

To begin with, we can throw away everybody’s favorite image of that eternal ashtray-emptier and furniture-duster. The neat, orderly, tidy soul with the perfectly balanced bank account and the immaculate kitchen is a picture which sends most Virgos into fits of cynical laughter. [Page 173, p1]

You got that right. I don’t have ashtrays in my apartment, the furniture duster is exclusively dedicated to the HDTV, my kitchen is messed up, and my bank account is almost perfectly balanced, but not quite. I do hope to have a perfect kitchen someday.

Liz Greene, the author of this book, went on to say about 100 things I totally relate to. I do see these attributes in myself, for better or for worse. After reading this chapter, she gained some street cred with me. I thought it would be fun to summarize the points I consider the most important attributes of Virgo-hood. Remember this comes from a quad-Virgo. I am a fully bonafide, genuine article source on this subject.

Key Associations with Virgo

  1. Mercurial, as in having personality attributes associated with the god Mercury of ancient Roman mythology. Namely, eloquence, shrewdness, swiftness, and thievishness.
  2. Realism, Pragmatism, Utilitarianism. Conversely, non-idealism and perhaps even anti-idealism.
  3. Observation, Discrimination & Discernment
  4. Analysis, Classification & Synthesis
  5. Expert craftsmanship, craftiness
  6. More inclined to lead than to follow; an invisible power behind the throne.
  7. Independent, self-possessed, self-contained, self-sufficient.
  8. Cautious, conservative, calculated, risk-averse, detests gambling.
  9. Sharply critical with a reputation for meanness.
  10. Great control of emotions; never shows emotional weakness publically. Cannot tolerate dramatic emotional outbursts and meltdowns in any circumstances. Detests drama queens.

The Legend and Lore

So how does Liz Greene and the Astrological world know all this? That’s always the great epistemological question. They rely on the legend and lore of the Zodiac as their source. Oh really? Yep. So just pray tell is that?

All things in Esoteric Astrology begin in Aries and end Pisces. Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Pisces is the 12th and last sign of the zodiac. We at Virgo occupy the exact middle at position #6. Esoteric Astrology is a religious world view based on Reincarnationism. Souls live in one body after another, transmigrating through time, experiencing the cycle of birth and death in a variety of times and places.

According to doctrine, new souls are born under the sign of Aries. They are in the most primitive, naïve, animalistic, and aggressive stage of development. Souls move forward, one sign at a time, one stage of development at a time. The next stage of development is Taurus. The next after that is Gemini. Then Cancer, Leo, etc. By the time you make it to Virgo, you are on your 6th life, and you are half-way (or more) through your journey. Souls can begin graduating from the system as early as Sagittarius, if they are precocious and highly evolved. You should graduate by Aquarius. If you don’t graduate after Aquarius, you are placed in reform/continuation school as a Pisces. You are a Pisces because you are problem child.

Living through the first six stages of the Zodiac is all about internal, personal development. They are not about external public life, or they should not be. The next six signs are about broader and more public roles. Interestingly enough, we have elected more Aquarian Presidents than any other sign. Presidents from early signs, like George Bush I (who is at stage three Gemini) get mixed reviews, and often get bounced with just one term. We’ll see what happens with Obama, who is at stage five in Leo.

According to the doctrine, Virgos are finishing their internal development, synthesizing everything they have lived before, and prepping for Libra, which is the first outwardly focused, public leadership-capable sign. We’re not close to graduating, but we are finishing the personal course of study, preparing for the public course of study. As such we are pragmatic, utilitarian, realists who are cautious and don’t like gambling. We are inwardly focused. We are cool and controlled. We are not into emotional outbursts or psychodrama.

Do I believe it? I don’t know if I believe anything anymore, but I find this all very interesting stuff.

Virgo in Love

Piles and piles have been written about how stogie, reserved, conservative and downright boring we Virgos are as love interests. There is a reason for that. Virgos just ain’t Don Juan. We’re not hasty to approve of an individual, or a romantic undertaking. We’re not into quick lays or a hot fling. Other signs, particularly fire signs, have drastically different expectations.

It takes us awhile to make up our minds about whether we are interested or not. We have to wait, watch, observe, evaluate, and determine whether a potential romance is a good safe bet or not. We’re not into shaking up the dice and rolling them. We’re rarely or never suckered by a pretty face. It’s tough to fool us. Mere emotion and sexuality are not enough to gain or hold a Virgo’s attention. You have to fit into the program, or we’re not interested. It takes time an evaluation to determine whether you will fit. It is a very rare Virgo that has ever had a true love-at-first sight experience with an ordinary stranger.

The highly emotional water signs will dislike Virgos’ detached, controlled, cool, non-reactive personality. Virgos cannot stand angry emotional outbursts, tempestuous scenes, and long weepy sessions with lots of hankies. A water sign like a Cancer, and especially a Pisces, may be infuriated by our contempt for emotionalism. Scorpios like to cook up some drama also. If you are a drama queen, it’s best not to fuck around with a Virgo. We won’t have it. You’ll get cut off quick. We don’t appreciate being destabilized.

With all that said, you might think we Virgos would do best with the three air signs: Gemini, Libra and Aquarius. These are also cerebral, intelligent, human signs with a flair for emotional self-control. Well, not so, according to the Astrology doctrine, and not according to the scoring systems found in field of Synastry. The mass majority of Virgos find their highest scores in the other two earth signs Taurus and Capricorn. They also find very high scores in matchups with the three water signs: Cancer, Scorpio and Pisces.

According to Astrologers, Virgos go for Pisces at alarmingly high rates. Pisces is the 12th sign of the Zodiac, 180 degrees (and days) about from Virgo (6th), and diametrically opposed to us. There are a hell of a lot of Virgo-Pisces couples in this world. According to the book, it is a common pattern for a Virgo man to select a female who represents all the irresponsibility, emotional instability, and foolishness he won’t allow himself to enjoy. He then lives a little vicariously through her.

What it means to me

Reading all of this doctrine has led me to some anxiety. I know for a fact that my highest combined Synastry score comes from a batch of Pisces girls born on 3/16/1986. They have my highest total combined score at 2088 points. I have their highest total combined scores at 2088 points. I checked it both ways, and the #2 score is some 488 points in the distance at 1600.

It doesn’t get any better when you see that my absolute hottest sexual & romantic scores come from the Aries clan. There are Aries females that can out-score even Pisces on the sexual meter. Their total combined scores are not as good, nor should they be.

Even if you are a skeptic, and I am, you can’t read these things and not wonder about them. I do often wonder if I will select a young, and obviously less mature female, who will exhibit all of the irresponsibility and emotional instability I do not allow myself… whether she be Pisces or otherwise.

If you accept the doctrines of Esoteric Astrology, if only for the sake of argument, it leaves a true Virgo shaking his head. How in the hell can we go after these troubled girls of the Zodiac? Why would we fall for (or get suckered by) a girl stuck in the reform school, who can’t graduate from the system because she has a propensity for drugs, alcohol, tobacco, Wicca, and assorted other problems?

The goddamnable thing is that I myself already experienced this fiasco once in 2006. My closest brush with love at first sight and marriage came at the hands of a 1981 Pisces female I scored 413 points with. Make no mistake about it: She was a problem girl. She had all those bad propensities I just mentioned. Fortunately, I came to my senses and terminated the affair after just one month. I realized that it was a very, very bad thing. I executed the logical maneuver, although I bled psychologically for nearly two years because of it. To this day, I know that I did the right thing, despite the fact that it hurt like hell.

Is it better to go after a primitive Aries woman, in the infancy of her soul, just because the sex would be insanely hot? I think not, yet the numbers are so high, they suggest I would go for it, if the option were afforded me.

The Air Girl Option

I am a very strange Virgo in one respect: I score fantastically well with the Air Girls. I enjoy infrared-grill scores versus Aquarius, my #2 total combined score comes from Libra, and I even have some nice Gemini matchups. Gemini is the least favorable of the three, but there are still workable options born on 6/16/1982.

Frankly, the more I read about them, the more inclined I am to go after the Aquarius girls. They have their own interesting problems, but as long as you get one that is heterosexual, you’re okay. I think I can do just fine with a highly evolved, ready to graduate, intellectually arrogant woman, bent on human psychology, who believes it is shameful to cry.

In a pair of upcoming pieces I intend to summarize what Liz Greene had to say about Pisces women and Aquarius women. Then you can just guess which one might be better for a guy like me.