OYE! Gary Kubiak! Claim McNabb off waviers!

So the word on the street is that Donovan McNabb may not be claimed now that he has been wavied by the Vikings.  I have only one thing to say to that:

OYE!  Gary Kubiak!  Claim McNabb off waviers!

I can't think of a well-positioned playoff team better equipped to take advantage of his skills, and yet so hard pressed for a QB.  You guys are calling in dregs right now.  You aught to grab McNabb for the duration of this season, because he is drastically better than anything you've got.  Yeah, the guy has limits and there are questions about whether he has anything in the tank.  Don't worry about it.  He's still drastically better than anything you've got.  He'll get you to the playoffs, which is where you want to be.

Some may be afraid of Matt Schaub vs, Donovan McNabb QB controversy, but I don't see any reason to worry about that.  This may not be the long-term gig McNabb wants, but it is an opportunity to redeem an otherwise disastrous season by leading a good team into the playoffs.  If he does this, the next long-term gig may be there.

Is he a system fit?  Why not.  You run the West Coast.  He has run the West Coast.  You have a very good running game, and the best receiver in football.  He aught to be happy.

I really want to see the Texans in the playoffs this season, and this is the only way I can see it happening.

The Chili-Moss Scandal

The happiest guy in the world right now is Mike Shanahan. He is jumping for joy that the Chili-Moss scandal has eclipsed the Sun, nearly blotted out his benching of Donovan McNabb in an otherwise winnable game.

Right now I am shaking my head and chuckling. So this is how it all ends, aye Chili? A memo to the Viking organization: The next time you would like to simply discard a 3rd round pick for no particular reason, please give my Rams a call. We could use another 3rd rounder. You just might draft another Joe Montana with a pick like that.

I have disliked Chili several years now. Why? Because I have hated the way responds to being on the hot seat. Clearly, Chili has been very sensitive to all suggestions that he is on the hotseat. He has been moved to action by most of these suggestions, and not good actions either. Rather than sticking to a logical and scientific program of team building, he has been blow around the field by every gust of media wind. He has made a lot of dysfunctional, short-term, short-sighted decisions as a result of this perceived pressure.

Chasing an old man like Favre all over the planet? Letting him skip training camp and practice? Starting the dude when he is clearly wounded as hell? Making a trade for dysfunctional dude like Moss? I just don't like it. Now the moment Moss appears to be critical of Chili, he reverses his field and cuts Moss. Jesus Christ! You want to talk about a paranoid move?!?! Stupid…

I don't like the way Chili responds to pressure. Have some balls and deal with the heat. Chuck Noll would have just kept right on drilling his boys on the fundamentals. Don Shula would not altered course as a result of the hot seat. Even the professor Bill Walsh would have sacked up and dealt with it. In short, Chili just doesn't act like one of the greats. He's got no pipe and humming bird sack, as Jim Rome used to say.

Being sensitive to every little comment about your job status and taking one short-sighted decision after another to cling to your job (like monkey clinging to a sparkly little fake jewel) is a sure-fire recipe for disaster. You are not going to make good, solid, sound combat maneuvers if you are being motivated in this way.

Clearly, the 2010 season is the breakdown phase of the Childress-Viking epoch. As Michael Lombardi suggests, that epoch might come to a close as soon as Tuesday afternoon. For the good of the Vikings, I hope so. Why does anyone suspect this? Because Chili has roster rights written into his contract. He can add and cut players as he pleases without consulting senior management. He said he was going to waive Moss this morning. It didn't happen this afternoon. Apparently, Chili is in some hot water with the high command. I think his job is in maximum jeopardy right now.

I am no kind of Viking fan, but I have friends who are. It is difficult watching these guys suffer in state similar too the one I lived through when the Rams hired Scott Linehan. Linehan was another one of these clingy, short-sighted, defensively-postured coaches who was worried about his job. You all know how that ended. It was an all out-disaster. It was the death of the Greatest Show on Turf.

All of this feels a hell of a lot like the end of Scott Linehan. For those who don't know, Linehan lost the Rams by benching Bulger, trying to release Torry Holt, and alienating his defensive coordinator Jim Hasslet. All of these were exceedingly stupid moves at the time, and they were motivated by Linehan's fear of the Ax. He was responding to suggestions that he had lost control of the team and was on the hot-seat for a lack of performance. When Linehan attempted to release Holt, the Axman dropped the edge on his neck, and it was over. We may see the very same scenario playout with Childress in the next 24 hours.

Some Random Thoughts on Sports this Monday Night

Both the Cowboy and Vikings seasons officially ended today

Towards the end of the off-season, most speculators believed that the Cowboys and the Vikings would be the two NFC Championship contestants come January. I gave a light and tentative endorsement to the Cowboy theory. I totally denied the Viking theory. It turns out that both teams are officially dead as of week 7 of the 2010 season.

Today, the MRIs revealed that Brett Favre has 2 fractures in his ankle and a chunk of bone & tendon that has ripped out of position. Get this, they have not officially ruled him out for Sunday’s game! BBAAAAHHHHAAA HHAAAAAAHAAHHAHAHA! That’s a funny joke. I get it.

Bullshit! Bull-fucking-shit! Brett’s career is now officially over. Call it quits. Just shut it down. Pack it in and call it a career. It is now over. He’s isn’t just officially out for this Sunday. He’s out for the rest of his life. The only thing that prevents us from calling a spade of a spade is pure media politics. In other words, denials and protestations to the contrary are absolute and complete bullshit.

Of course, this means Viks can pack it in and call it quits for the rest of 2010. They are officially no longer contenders, not that they were 27 hours ago either. Sure, they may go on to win 4-6 of their remaining games, but that will mean nothing in the playoff picture.

Then, as if things weren’t going badly enough for the Cowboys, catastrophe struck on ESPN Monday Night Football when Michael Boley sprinted through a gaping hole in the Cowboy offensive line and drove a chicken-winged Tony Romo into the artificial turf… hard. Tony suffered a broken clavicle bone in his left shoulder. He is expected to miss 8-10 games.

I categorically agree with owner Jerry Jones: There is no replacement for Tony Romo. The Cowboys may win 4 or 5 games down the stretch with Jon Kitna, but I seriously doubt it. Even if they do, it will mean poodly-squat in the playoff picture. The Cowboys are now officially done.

Hell widens its mouth for the Chargers

I am about two tens of a nanometer away from declaring the Chargers dead also. The only thing that prevents me from doing so is the presumed weakness of the AFC West. I think this presumption is extremely faulty. I am one tenth of a nanometer away from accepting the proposition that the Chiefs are the class of the West. I seriously doubt that the Chargers are going to have either a winning or a break-even record in 2010.

Early this afternoon, I heard Hacksaw Lee Hamilton raising hell over the Charger situation. He is not alone in raising hell, by any means, and his pain is genuine. He has been a Charger man for decades now. He drew a bulls-eye on the situation precisely and then said something very curious indeed. Hacksaw declared that he was thinking the unthinkable: The Chargers might not be a playoff team in 2010.

I laughed like hell at that line. Everything he had declared prior to that point pretty well proved that the Chargers were nothing resembling a playoff contender. Why soft-pedal the mandatory conclusion? Politics. It would be tough for such a prominent sports reporter in the San Diego area to hammer his favorite franchise so clearly on the air. It could cost him political capital. Better to sacrifice some honesty points, and appear loyal.

At this very moment, I am hearing Moochie spewing some horseshit about how the Chargers are still good enough to win the AFC West. No. You’re all wet there, coach. This has nothing to do with talent or the lack there of.

This has everything to do with labor strife. Hacksaw Lee Hamilton is correct, the Chargers have quit on A.J. Smith. Labor strife has reached a point now where the Charger players are playing selfishly to enlarge their stats and make a run at free agency with some other team. They are not playing to win.

Hell widens its mouth for the 49ers

I haven’t got the slightest idea of what is wrong with 49ers. I am inclined to blame Alex Smith, but that does not explain their inability to terminate last-minute game winning drives. They were supposed to have an elite defense. They have nothing of the kind. We have to look to Singletary for the reason why. Yes, he is one of the most respected dudes around, but something is seriously wrong with that defense.

I think the 49ers are also officially dead. If they make it to 8-8, it will be a miracle.

Giants vs Falcons in the NFC Championship?

I still believe the Saints and the Packers can factor in the NFC. However, it is getting clearer and clearer that the two most powerful football teams in the NFC are the New York Giants and the Atlanta Falcons. They are really starting to look good. They seem to be improving in every area, particularly in their ability to fight back into contention when they are down in the count.

I am really fucking sick of the East-Coast Bias

There is a clear law in sports: Your ranking is inversely proportional to your proximity to Bristol Connecticut. The closer you are to Bristol, the higher your ranking. The greater your distance, the lower your ranking.

As a UCLA graduate, I am no fan of Oregon, however, I cannot understand how they were cheated of the #1 ranking this week. How the hell did Auburn get it? How did they jump over Boise and Oregon? Ooooops! I forgot! Auburn is closer to Bristol than Eugene Oregon! That’s how they scored it. It is a clear-cut case of 100% pure unadulterated, unalloyed East-Coast Bias!

Let’s be clear: ESPN runs college football, both on their networks and ABC. Their impact on their BCS rankings is quantum. They are responsible for this travesty.

I love the World Series this year

Folks, I am not much of a fan of Baseball. I am no fan of the Rangers. I am no fan of the Giants. I am a life-long Dodger fan. With that said, I am going to watch every game of the series this year, and I am going to enjoy the fucking hell out of it.

Do you want to know why? ESPN has 982,288 tons of egg all over their collective face. I absolutely love the fact that the East Coast is shut-out of the World Series. ESPN analysts were utterly sure the Giants were (are) a team put together out of bubble-gum and duck-tape. They were also sure that the Rangers were no match for the mighty Yankees.

Why were they sure of this? Because Philly and NY are very close to Bristol Connecticut, that’s why. Their East Coast Bias was never stronger than in the run up to the World Series this year. They were so utterly sure that the Yanks would rematch with the Phillies this year it was pathetic. It made you wonder why they were even going to play the games.

I am so damn delighted that the Giants shoved a red-hot poker up ESPN’s arse that I am going to declare a temporary ban on my hatred for them. I am actually going to pull, gently, for the Giants. Again, ESPN’s bias is showing. They believe the Rangers will win the Series because Dallas is closer to Bristol than San Francisco.

Be assured, their logic is no better than that.

Texas Death-Match in the Steel Cage

The happiest guy in the world is Warren Moon. He is no longer the NFL's all-time leading fumbler. Brett Favre first tied and then broke then all-time fumble record set by Warren moon more than a decade ago. Frankly, he looked like shit. Yep, that is right. Brett Farve is the NFL's all-time leading fumbler in addition to the all-time leading interception thrower.

Now stick that in you penis photos and smoke it. Why you fuckers love this guy so much I will never understand. I just don't get it.

But this leads us to a truly delicious moment in the (so-far) disaster-bust season of 2010: An all-out death match elimination between the Dallas Cowboys and the Minnesota Vikings. The looser goes to 1-4, and realistic hopes of a Super Bowl are pretty well shot to shit at that point. I am smelling blood like a shark in the water. Let the bloodbath begin.

Now we all know it is a long season. We all know the NFC is an all-out mess. Both teams will still have 11 more games to go. One can finish 12-4, and the other can finish 11-5. In theory they can both finish 11-4-1. I seriously, seriously doubt it. Realistically, both teams are playing badly. The one who looses is will be the worst of two seriously under-performing football teams.

I'm going to make a prediction: The coach that looses get's the ax. Neither the Cowboys nor the Vikings are going to take going to 1-4 well. If Childress looses, he's out. If Philips looses, he's out. Death-match elimination!

Dallas must return to the hefty bag... errr.... Mall of America Field to play the Vikings where they were eliminated last year. Of course, this gives the Vikings something of an advantage. I am going to lay down a prediction: Dallas wins this one. Wade Phillips has a tendency to rise to the occasion when he knows it is a life-and-death situation. Chili does not have that rep, and for good reason.

Fire the kicker! Fire the Kicker! Fire the Kicker!

I understand Texas Longhorn kicker Hunter Lawrence is available, should the Saints should want him. If I were you, I would get him. You don't want to suffer Seminole-Colt syndrome on the way to your second championship. Rumor has it that Garrett Hartley is safe, even if after missing two field goals last night. I would cut him and get Hunter.

Other than that, would say that the Saints had a pretty damn good outing last night. The game was a tad bit boring; a mixture of a defensive struggle, a little bit of the Vikings just plain struggling. The score would not have been so close had the Saints made either of their two field goal attempts.

There were some surprises. I did not expect to see the Saint line maul and manhandle the Viking defensive line so brutally. The Saints were able to shove the football down the throat of the Viking defense without benefit of a power back like Steven Jackson, and Vikings seemed powerless to stop them. Jahri Evans and Carl Nicks just hammered the Viking tackles and blew them right off the line of scrimmage. That is a harbinger of bad times for the rest of the league. If the Saints can do that to the Vikings, the rest of the league, save maybe the Ravens, are going to get pummeled.

Now I have the world's biggest case of guard envy. Envy, envy, envy, envy, envy! Carl Nicks looked a hell of a lot like Barry Allen. Further, he looked even better than Jahri Evans, the NFL's All-Pro right guard. At 6-5 and 343, he is about the biggest damn guard I have ever seen.

Speaking exclusively for myself, I really wonder about the Vikings at this point. Chris Collinsworth commented several times about how much Favre appeared to be missing Sidney Rice. I couldn't agree more. However, I would add the following line: Favre appeared to be a beat up and tired old man at the end of the game, and he looked very disappointed in himself. Believe it or not, I understand totally. I am a couple of years older than Brett and I know all about bone-on-bone grind contact. I have advanced osteoarthritis in my knees.

Personally, I don't know how he is doing it. Further, I wonder if he can do for the entire season. After watching the post game, I wondered if we might be hearing of Brett's retirement again very soon. I know Brett has never been a quitter, and when he is in, he's all the way in. Still, he did not look good last night. With all three rivals in the North improving considerably, I think the Vikings have tough sledding ahead.

Oh Christ... not another Favre feeding frenzy

Oh Christ... not another Favre feeding frenzy

This time folks, the joke is on you. You're making fools out of yourselves, and don't blame it on us. I'm speaking of ESPN and the NFL Network. Right now a maximum intensity feeding frenzy is in progress because... [drum roll] Brett Favre borded a plane headed for Minnesota. No shit, eh? Did you expect him to drive? Why is that news?

The obvious certainty that he would take a plane rather that drive was completely lost in the hystrical panic the news caused. Special agents are covering the scene of the depature and the scene of the arrival 24/7. I'm talking about wall-to-wall coverage. This is right up there with Elvis has left the building. It's almost as big a Buckwheat getting shot.

This frenzy resembles both the Huricain Katrina and the death of Pope John Paul Frenzies. It is not quite as big as the death of Michael Jackson, but it is close. If this story were a favor of ice cream, it would be named Banna Christ Ape Shit. Let's face the facts folks. It is the 2nd comming of Jesus Favre, or Brett Christ.

CBS News posted a mock story that Brett Favre's plane crashed and their were no survivors. The other forum members posted their appaulse [CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!]

In all seriousness folks, is he the greatest QB in history? Nope. Is he the greatest QB in the league? Nope. Is he the #1 guy in the Fantasy pool? Nope. Is he the #1 QB in the NFC? Nope. Is he over 40 and surgically repaired? Yep! Did he throw the INT that terminated the Vikings in the NFC Championship game? Yep. Is Minnesota the most populace state in the nation? Are the Vikings the defending world champs? Nope! Are the Vikings the best team in football? Nope! Is this the richest state in the union? Nope. Is the state of Minnesota deeply steeped in footbal tradition? Nope.

Why then are are going absolutely frickin' bonko?

Let's face the facts folks, the big media covers the stories they want to cover, just the same way I do on my little blog. For some obtuse and eskew reason, this story interests them more than others do. I don't understand why. However, the coverage of this story is massively disproportional to the significance of this story.

So did the Vikings smoke out Favre?

About a week ago, the Football world was "rocked" by the news that Brett Favre had retired... again... but then he immediately unretired... again. I don't know if it was for the 3, 4th or 5th time. I lost count. Somebody just called out the number 3.

The false report surfaced through Pro Football Talk and ESPN. It went around like wildfire. I will never understand the reasons why. The NFL Network jumped on it, and two agents were tasked with the job of confirming or denying these alegations. Mike Mayock at Vikings' camp, and Coach Marriucci, Brett's original position coach in Green Bay.

Dr. Mike ran around to all the Vikings executives asking about the truth of these rumors. They denied everything. They stated they had no known developments in the case. Marricci started text messaging like crazy with Favre. Favre claimed he hadn't said a word to anyone. Brett wondered how this hurricane story got started.

In the end, Favre wound up declaring that he would play if the health and condition of his ankle permits.

Mission accomplished. Favre has been smoked out. He's not on the fence about retirement anymore. He will play if he is health enough. So he's only kinda on the fence, but it is on a medical fence. He doesn't want to retire.

I am going to be real blunt: The Vikings started the title wave of bullshit. They had one of their low-level execs plant... errr.... leak this false report to Florio and some folks at ESPN, which started the title wave. ESPN might have tried for further confirmations, but Florio had already published the scoop. This took ESPN off the hot-seat for initiating the bullshit, so they ran with it.

ESPN even attributed this to protected sources leaking the news from inside the Viking organizations. I am sure that is accurate. I am sure they did leak it, and on purpose. The purpose was to smoke Brett out, and find out what was really on his mind. As I said before, mission accomplished.

Of course, the Vikings turned right around and denied everything. So did Favre, and that is the important part.

Folks, this happens all the time. During the 2010 draft, Devaney planted the story that Sam Bradford didn't want to play for the Rams, and would hold out, perhaps even petitioning for a return to Oklahoma in a bid for the 2011 draft if selected by the Rams.

The story smelt like horse shit the second it surfaced on ESPN. Still, it gave Rich Eisen the opportunity to put the question directly to Sam Bradford on NFL Total Access (when he appeared with the famous Dr. James R. Andrews.). Sam looked stunned. He denied everything, and then he brooded for the rest of the interview.

He looked pissed and sad. "Who is trying to blow my opportunity to be selected #1!" You could read his face. You didn't have to be a psychic Pisces to read his mind. Mission accomplished. Bradford has been smoked out.

Ever since the NFL Network emerged, we have been seeing more and more of this kind of thing. If officials of any team need to smoke out any hidden position, all they need to do is issue the false report through ESPN and then pose the question on NFL Total Access. It is a perfect media hammer and anvil for smashing down those walls of secrecy.

I wonder how ESPN feels about being manipulated like this? I wonder how the player confidentiality guys feel about this hammer and anvil play?

I don't believe in the Viking theory

In this blog I will issue my 3rd or 4th annual official-rejection slip regarding the Viking theory. I have lost official count. I expect to be right for the 3rd or 4th consecutive year. I have been right these past several years.

Folks, it's all Mike Mayock's fault. Dr. Mike is my official draft guru, pissed though I was with him in this year of 2010, and he is usually the most reliable guy in the league. He has earned a lot of clout for that reason. It is largely due to his voice that we (I mean you) think that the Vikings are a legit Super Bowl contender.

Nope, they're a pretender to the crown.

Mike Mayock is a guy with a couple of biases. We have to compensate for those biases if we are to find the truth of the matter. Dr. Mike is from Philly, and he is an Eagle fan. They always get an inflated score from Dr. Mike. Dr. Mike also covers the Vikings during pre-season. The Vikings always get an inflated score, especially on the talent card.

The Viking tribe suffers from a very strange version of myopia, if you ask me. Let me tell you about it.

About a month ago, when I was returning to Los Angeles from Fresno after the 4th of July, I stopped by Ikea. I just happened to be wearing Jared Allen's jersey on that day. As I checked out with a few new things for the Barbecue, a guy approached me asking with great anxiety regarding whether Favre would return or not.

Of course, I'm not actually a Viking fan, but this guy was. He thought he had found a kindred spirit. This is a common problem for me. It happens often.

It's difficult for me to explain that I am a non-aligned fan of the sport called football. It's hard for me to explain to a guy I just met out of the blue that I have 53 NFL jerseys in my collection, and I wear a different one every day. I have found it is usually easier to have a brief conversation with the dude about whatever team I happen to be wearing on the given day.

I answered him directly "I think it's a given that Favre is going to be back."

He continued "I sure hope so! The Vikings should have won the Super Bowl! The Vikings are so much better than the Saints! They turned it over 7 times, and the Saints still only managed to win it in overtime by a field goal!"

My face screwed up like I had bit into a sour pickle. I nodded my head and we parted ways. I am sure this Viking fan believed I was feeling the pain of defeat when he saw the expression on my face. On the contrary, I was feeling pain of an absolutely preposterous and bass-ackward argument. His argument would have infuriated my high school logic teacher to no end.

Let me get this straight: Adrian Peterson put the ball on the carpet 5 times and Favre threw 2 more interceptions in his illustrious career, ergo the Vikings are dramatically better than the Saints???? Bullshit! Bull fucking shit! NOW HERE THIS: FUCK THAT SHIT! If that isn't the stupidest argument I've ever heard it is damn close to #1.

The only reason the Vikings stayed in the game was because Sean Payton called the most curiously conservative game I have ever seen him orchistrate. He kept shutting it down during the game, believing that the Vikings were self-destructing. He believed the Vikings were punching his ticket to the big-dance. Every time the Vikings would tie it, Payton would unleash hell on them again, and the Saints would take the lead back.

The Saints were a heck of a lot better than Viks. It wasn't as close as it looked.

Mike Mayock says that the Vikings are loaded. I categorically reject that statement. The receiver corp is impressive, and the defensive line is impressive. I don't see a whole lot there besides that. The defensive backfield is dog-shit. The offensive line is mediocre to poor, blocking well for the run, and modestly for the pass. The linebacking corp is average to better than average.

Favre is just a brilliant damn QB when he isn't throwing those big INTs to terminate NFC championship games. Adrian Peterson is a breakaway threat when he isn't putting the ball on the carpet 5 times in the NFC Championship game. You give those two guys way too much damn credit. This is the most over-rated backfield in 20 or 30 years. Truth be told, both of these gifted athletes have absolute spoilers, nasty ruinations, and critical flaws.

For these reasons I do not believe in the Viking theory. I do not believe they are a serious contender. I do not believe they are serious threat in the NFC. I do not believe they are a threat to win the Super Bowl this season.

Now flukes do happen. The Federal DEA investigation could crush the Saints' title defense. The Falcons may unexpectedly collapse. The Cowboys may suffer an epidemic of injuries. No surprise team may emerge in the NFC. The Packers may not be what we think they are. Favre's ankle may be just fine.

If the constellations all lineup in this fluky manner, the Vikings might windup hosting the 49ers for the NFC Championship. This would give them an unexpected, moderately unobstructed run to the Super Bowl.

I seriously doubt this will happen. It is more likely that Favre's ankle will not be okay, and the Vikings will suffer an unexpected collapse in 2010.

So Favre has retired, aye?

Right now I am extremely annoyed. According to News.Google.com, some 1,108 news reports have gone up in the past hour or two regarding the retirement of Brett Favre. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Yeah, but this time he's going to get in front of the cameras and cry his eyes out. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Yeah, but this time he is experiencing real problems with the ankle. So this is unprecedented, right? We've never seen him do this before...

Whilst I am inclined to take these reports a bit more serious than the other half-dozen or so weepy retirement conferences Brett Favre has had before, I am still waiting for him to dress 2 hours before game-one of the 2010 season. This might not be over yet.

So what if it is over? What then, Dave?

Fine! I'm just fine with it. God bless, and enjoy your grandkids, Brett.

Awe, but it's the end of an era! It's the end of a legend!

In the immortal words of Herm Edwards: So what? The guy never really meant anything to me. I was extremely annoyed at how overrated he was. The Brett Favre I remember is the one who threw the 6 interceptions against the Rams in the 2001-2002 divisional playoff game. You know, the one who ended the last four NFC Championship games he played in with an interception.

I am talking about the tragically flawed gun-slinger, the riverboat gambler. I'm talking about the guy who had so much confidence in the strength of his arm he thought he could drill a bullet right through the chest of defensive back and into the hands of the WR standing behind him. I am talking about the sandlot QB who scrambled around like a chicken with his head cut off, flinging it downfield on a prayer. You know, they guy who draws plays up in the dirt?

The fact is that Favre had incredible athletic gifts, and the greatest of them was durability, but I never wanted him on my team. You see, you can beat 10 or 11 rooty-boot teams with a sandlot gunslinger like Brett Favre. You can do that pretty much every year. You can get into the playoff tournament most of the time with a guy like this.

The problem is that you'll never win one. I still marvel that the Pack won it in 1996. Don't get me wrong. I like and admire the Pack, but I still marvel they won the Super Bowl with Favre at the helm.

You see, a gunslinger like this can cap 10 or 11 teams each year because there are usually about 20 teams in league that can't really play football. About 10 of them are really bad. The others are all missing critical pieces. Only 12 teams qualify for the playoffs. Only about 6 of them are good. Of those, only 4 will qualify for the Conference Championship games.

When a gunslinger like Favre goes up against a high-quality team, without missing pieces, playing at a high championship caliber, he dies. That's what happens. You can't bring sandlot football rubbish up again a quality team like the 2007 New York Giants or the 2009 New Orleans Saints. You can't run the quick-draw gunslinger play against this type of team. They will kill you.

Personally, I have to tell you that Favre is nowhere near as great as they say he is. His massive stats are a function of his durability and his number of games played. Those are endurance records. He threw for more yards than anyone else because he threw for more years than just about anyone else.

Are you saying you discount Brett Favre's achievements? Yep, uh-hun, that is exactly and precisely what I am saying. I discount Brett Favre's statistical achievements.

Of course, he still belongs in the Hall of Fame, but don't even try to give me any of this shit about the greatest of all time. I don't want to hear any weepy speeches either.

Favre Watch 2010

For those of you who occasionally tune into the NFL Network during the deep-off-season, there is one truth that simply cannot be denied. They are always conducting a Favre watch. So far, in the past two weeks, I am 4-5 in hitting the Favre watch when tuning into the NFL Network. I don't know why I am so unlucky. Certainly, they must be showing some other programming at some point... or maybe not.

Certainly, this is the most worthless story of the off-season. Not just this off season, but every off season. Jim Rome openly mocked the last event of the Favre watch stating succinctly that Brett held a news conference to say he hadn't yet made up his mind. That's it. Perfect summary. 'Nuff said.

Just to help the NFL Network understand that the Favre watch really isn't a good news story, I went around the Los Angeles area conducting interview-based research to see how much the people like this story. What did I find? It just might break your heart, Rich

In honor of the fact that Twilight Eclipse is the most important chick flick since 27 Dresses, I decided to start with Kristen Stewart. When asked how she likes the Favre watch she responded in the following manner:

I guess she doesn't like it.

So I asked a cute Japanese chick who was just a bit down the street what she thought of the Favre watch. She said the following

So I asked an old lady in the coffee shop, and she said the following.

As I began to tire of chicks throwing down the digitus imputicus, I decided to ask Sister Mary Teresa of the St. Ignatius church what she thought of Favre watch 2010.

After being shocked by this Nun's response, I wondered what Jesus would do. I went in the church, genuflected in front of the blessed sacrament, and said a short prayer. I didn't like what I saw.

I think it is safe to say that Jesus is not into the Favre watch at all. He was in no mood at all for this kind of question. I thought it would be best to ask God the Father for a second opinion.

After so many rejections I thought it would be good to ask a real football man about the Favre watch, so I went to Bud Adams, owner of the Titans.

That was downright disappointing. At that moment I was fortunate enough to bump into former POTUS George W. Bush, so I asked him what he thought of the Favre watch.

At this point I understood that the Favre Watch was in serious trouble. Trying to obtain a fresh perspective, I asked a little kid what he thought of the Favre Watch.

At that point I thought it was a good idea to ask Clyde, star of Clint Eastwood's Every which Way But Loose, what he thought of the Favre Watch 2010.

I conducted many more ad-hoc interviews, and snapped many more photos, but the results were the same in all cases. I could go on but why labor the point. Perhaps at some point I will update this piece and publish some additional results from this survey.

There is a moral to this story. I love morals. I think morals are good for yah! Don't you? The moral is simple: it's tough to trump up a non-story and make it a story. Generally, the people just won't buy into it.