Ram Rumors are flying. Let's untangle fact and fiction

Four significant pieces have been published in the past 24 hours outlining some spectacular Ram-Rumors.  The jist of these pieces are as follows.

• Apparently, Steve Spagnuolo and Billy Devaney await the gallows.  Their fate is sealed.
• Jon Gruden has decided to return to coaching in 2012
• This would apparently void his 5 year contract with Monday Night Football
• The Rams mean to get him
• Should the Chargers fire their GM, A.J. Smith, Stan Kroenke intends to make him GM of the Rams.
• According to the bullshit, A.J. Smith has the wherewithal/clout to bring Gruden into the organization
• Some Ram fans are sweating the fear that Gruden would dump Sam Bradford, and want to roll with Andrew Luck

First, let's temper all these scrambled eggs with some facts:

1. Most hope/believe that Spagnuolo and Devaney await the gallows.  I am gunning for the second name, not the first, but I accept the fact that they rise and fall together.
2. Stan has said nothing.  That's why they call him Silent Stan.  We all hope he will do the deed.
3. I am going to peel back-flips and celebrate overindulgently if we nail Jon Gruden.  I fully endorse & support this move.  I love it.
4. Jon Gruden has said nothing.
5. ESPN claims Jon Gruden is fully committed to Monday Night Football.
6. If Stan tries to hire A.J. Smith, I will fly to St. Louis with a .460 Weatherby Magnum sniper rifle and make sure he never enters the building alive.  In all seriousness, I can hardly think of a worse candidate for the job.  This is absolutely not the man for the job.
7. The notion that A.J. Smith has the wherewithal/clout to deliver Jon Gruden is spectacularly fictitious bullshit.  I will continue to say this until someone shows some proof of a connection.  I know of no connection, direct or indirect, between A.J. Smith and Jon Gruden.  
8. Jon has never voiced any love for this guy.  I don't know why he would.  I certainly wouldn't. Would you?  Of course not!  You would never do a thing like that.  Neither would I.
9. Why does anyone think A.J. Smith, a guy whose stock is about to be delisted on the Dow Jones, has the clout to deliver Jon Gruden?
10. Kevin Demof is the guy with the most likely open-connection to Jon Gruden.  He worked with Gruden in Tampa Bay during their championship run.  Demoff is vastly more likely than A.J. Smith to deliver Jon Gruden.  Further, using this connection could be the move that saves Demoff's neck.
11. Most writers have correctly slapped down rumors that Gruden would dump Sam Bradford.  This is utterly baseless.  He hasn't even accepted the job.  This is just pure fear.  Gruden worked with Sam during his QB camp two years ago, and said tremendously flattering things about him... aside from declaring him the world's worst slider.  There are presently no reasons to believe Gruden would dump Bradford.

Anyhow... here are those pieces for your consideration:

• Business Insider
• ESPN NFC West Blog
• NBC Pro Football Talk
• Bleacher Report

I would feel much better about the whole thing if the rumors said "Dick Vermeil declared Team President, and presently negotiating for Jon Gruden's services."

Can somebody please start that rumor?  That would be good.

One very nice footnote to report:  Highly-esteemed Sports Illustrated writer Peter King declared that the Ram-jobs could be the most desirable and best landing spots for candidates during the 2012 hiring cycle.  Why?

1. Sam Bradford
2. The #1 absolute pick in the 2012 draft
3. The greatest projected cap room of any NFL franchise come 2013.

Two terrible suggestions for the Rams

Lately, two terrible suggestions for future moves have being sloshed about loosely in public.

Some have suggested that the Rams should select Andrew Luck if we should be so fortunate as to win the Andrew Luck Sweepstakes. The second terrible suggestion is that we can or will use EVP Kevin Demoff's family connections to get former Titans coach Jeff Fisher in the building.

I shit upon both suggestions, straight-up and no chaser. Shakes, nates, bollocks, nay, no, never, forget about it!

Fortunately, I think both propositions are completely irrelevant to the true situation. We have two victories, the Colts have none. I think the Colts will cruise to the #1 slot. We may well win the #2 slot. This is more than fine with me. It spares us from the morons who would give up on Sam Bradford already. Further, it gives us plenty of picking power to grab Justin Blackmon, the proper target of our draft.

I think Kevin Demoff is on his way out, ergo there is little chance his family connections will be involved in the new coaching search. Rule out Jeff Fisher. He's going to San Diego where he will enjoy a perfect Gemini/Sagittarius alliance with Philip Rivers.

If we are going after one of the so-called 'top coaching candidates', I would like that to be John Gruden. This would entail a reversion to the WCO, but worse things have happened. Gruden is the only so-called A-Lister that I would endorse.

Tragedy in Carolina

Folks, it looks like the Panthers are going to be next team to step up to the plate and make a tragic mistake. They're going to gamble on a quarterback, and the one they are focused on is not a good gamble. I feel bad for my buddy Eric. We've been talking football for four years now, and he is a big Panther fan. Last year, I went through this hell, but it was nothing compared to what he's going through now.

So why am I down on Newton? Setting aside the fact that his daddy is a deliverance pastor who asks for college bribe money, setting aside the cheating on tests at Florida, setting aside the stolen laptop, setting aside the bailout from Florida just ahead of the posse, setting aside the one-year wonder thing at Auburn, setting aside the bailout from Auburn just ahead of the posse, forgetting about both entertainers and icons, dismissing the 21 on the Wonderlic, we still have to deal with the Gruden thing.

Jon Gruden has reprised his lovely role in ESPN's quarterback-shakedown series this year, and Newton was the most recent kid to show up on the show. It did not look good to me folks. Boggies were showing up on my radar. Mike Florio put it succinctly when he said "Newton comes to the NFL with zero knowledge or experience regarding the way that offensive plays are constructed and called"

Folks, it ain't often that Mike Florio and I see eye-to-eye. We do this time. His conclusion is the logical one based on the evidence we saw. I saw a guy who was painfully uncomfortable with the entire situation, and painfully trying to smile his way past the agony of it. That's not good. My hair was on fire during that segment. If you compare and contrast that to the cool/easy competence that Blaine Gabbert showed in Moochie's "Game Changers" chalk-talk, we're talking about a led vs. gold comparison here.

Mel Kiper Jr. recently said that Clausen's appearance on Gruden's show last year damaged his stock, and promoted his slide. Folks, Clausen did a much better job in his Gruden interview than Newton did. My hair wasn't on fire during the Clausen segment. It was during the Newton interview. I think this one ranks at the tops of my "Politically Damaging" pre-draft events.

I'm not saying I'm sold on Gabbert as the top pick in the draft, but if you have determined that QB is your greatest need, you would be suicidal to select Newton ahead of Gabbert. You are certifiable if you make that choice.

This is reflected the most recent series of Scouts Inc Top 32 rankings. Gabbert is headed north. Newton is headed south. Gabbert was ranked at #8, he is now at #5, although his score of 96 has not changed. Newton's score has dropped by single point (from 94 to 93), and he has now slid from #12 to #16. This is Gruden's work for sure. Gabbert is probably rising because he acquitted himself very well on "Game Changers" and Gruden's show.

Nevertheless, the Panthers are signalling that they are preparing to make a tragic mistake. Just about all Mock drafts published recently reflect their signals, showing Newton as the #1 pick. Against all reason, they are preparing to fuck themselves in the ass. It's going to cost them 5 lost years folks.

Highly respected voices on NFL Path to the draft support this move. Guys like Charles Davis and Bucky Brooks defend this move, offering feeble justifications for it. "You have to take a chance on Greatness." "Playing it safe with this pick will just land them right back in this same spot next year."

I know why.

In boxing, it used to be common to use a term called "The Great White Hope". The term reflected White America's desperate craving to see a white guy reclaim the heavy weight championship of Boxing. Each time an untalented white dude would emerge in the heavy weight ranks, he would become the focus of tremendous marketing hype. A guy who was not really a contender became a contender. We knew he didn't have the stuff to defeat Muhammad Ali, Larry Holmes, Mike Tyson or Evander Holyfield, but he got the hype anyway.

The same phenomenon exists in Black America vis-a-vis NFL Quarterbacks. Black America desperately craves a great NFL Quarterback. What do we mean by great? A multi-time Super Bowl champion powering a dynasty, and a QB ranked at the top of the efficiency charts. The last great Black hope was Donovan McNabb, but with Donovan's career in limbo, someone else must fill the void. Newton is the 'born at the right time' guy who seems to have captured Black America's imagination, despite the fact that Michael Vick is much closer to the goal. Guys like Davis and Brooks seem so infatuated with Newton's physical prowess, that they are overlooking clear yellow & red flags. Davis and Brooks never do that under ordinary circumstances. They aren't doing that with Ryan Mallet who also has red-flags.

An unbiased observer can tell that this guy doesn't have what it takes to handle Ali, Holmes, Tyson or Holyfield (read: Manning, Brady, Brees, Rodgers, or even Vick) but he is getting the hype anyway.

I am sure you can capitalize on this hype in the short run. This hype can and will sell a lot of tickets at the box office. If this is the only goal the Panthers have in hand at the moment, they can succeed. For those who want to win? Well... uhhhhmmm... Maybe, maybe not.

Charley Casserly recently said "I could have 25 shots at drafting Cam Newton and I would pass on him 25 times."

Consider this well before you make a mistake.

Hallelujah! I am sure glad my Rams don't need a QB this year. It is just so damn good not to need a QB in the 2011 NFL Draft! I can hardly describe to you how good it is not to need a QB this time around. I tell you, Billy Devaney's 2010 call is looking better and better all the time.

The Dolphins have totally lost my respect

So Jason LaCanfora just broke into NFL Total Access with a special report on the Miami Dolphins. He confirmed Michael Lombardi's report that the courtship of Jim Harbaugh has basically ended in Miami. They will retain head coach Tony Sparano.

I am left stunned, amazed and horrified by all of this. Count me ignorant, but I was under the misapprehension that Sparano had already been fired. Prior to their courtship of Harbaugh, they were knee deep in the quest to get Bill Cowher and Jon Gruden. Didn't that automatically imply that Sparano was out and someone else would absotively posolutely be the head coach in Miami?

Apparently, the answer is no. Tony was evidently hanging around at Shula's, waiting for the pink slip. Thrice turned down by expert coaches, the Dolphins turned back to Tony and said "You da man!"

You gotta be fucking kidding me?!?!?!? What kinda bullshit is that?

This is the bullshit of a Busch-League organization! That's what kinda bullshit it is. According to La Canfora, their Busch-League handling of the situation had something to do with the fact that all three of these outstanding coaches turned Stephen Ross and the Dolphins down. Particularly in Harbaugh's case, the mishandling of a currently employed head coach didn't sit well.

You don't do a leadership figure like that. If they did this to Sparano, they might well do it again to Cowher, Gruden, or Harbaugh. I would not sign with a fucking organization like that.

Now that the Dolphins have cut Sparano's balls off and paraded those very same testicles around in public, seeking anyone else who just might take the job, they are now expecting Tony Sparano to coach them to a better record in the 2011 season.

Fat chance! Who in the organization is going to respect Sparano now that you have danced all over town with other gentlemen, wearing Sparano's balls for earrings? How can this guy face his players with authority? You have completely undermined the guy's position. Now he no longer has the basic respect he needs to function as head coach...

And you are going to run with him in 2011?

Right now, I wouldn't pay you a rat's ass for the Dolphins' future options. Jesus Christ! What a fiasco! Stephen Ross is a horse's ass.

This is the most jacked-up story I have read since Pat Bowlen fired Mike Shanahan and allowed Josh McDaniels to systematically destroy his football team.