Friday, June 19, 2009

The Hangover

It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't terribly funny either.

The Hangover is essentially the latest stoner comedy about a very lost weekend in Las Vegas. An odd group of buddies (and the future brother-in-law) accompany the groom to be on his bachelor party trip to Las Vegas. The last stop before death... errr... marriage.

It turns out that the future brother in law wanted everybody to have a good time, so he went out purchased a bunch of MDNA, otherwise known as XTacy. He spiked everybody's drink with the stuff. The problem was he bough the shit from a dumb ass drug dealer who didn't know the difference between MDNA and Rohypnol. Rohypnol, also known as Ruffies, is commonly called the date rape drug.

After a large Rohypnol toast on the roof of their Hotel in Vegas, the screen goes black. When the camera focuses again, it is now the morning after. The hotel room is destroyed. The couch has been set on fire and is still smouldering, there is a tiger in the bathroom. Their are hookers walking out of the hotel room. There is a baby in the closet. Dough, the Groom, is now missing and cannot be found. The boys have a LVPD car in their parking place at the hotel, and the valet brings them the keys.

Nobody knows what the hell happened. The Ruffies have destroyed any memory of the night before. The rest of the movie is a quest to find the missing Groom. It is a detective comedy. They have to find out what the hell happened to them so they can figure out what happened to Dough.

As Mike Tyson says "We all do stupid shit when we get fucked up."

So how funny is it? It is not all that funny. There are a few good belly laughs. Surely this is much better stuff than Will Ferrell's work. However, that is damning with very faint praise. There are some things that just ain't funny at all. The Gay Asian dude is almost as funny as a children starving in Africa. That is, not funny at all. Don't get me wrong, I care not for a Lefty critique of the character or script construction. Rather, the actor playing the roll sucks. He just isn't funny at all.

Shockingly enough, Mike Tyson is the funniest guy in the movie. Shockingly enough, he is the source of the biggest belly laughs. No bullshit. If I was in Hollywood, I would situp and take notice of this. If I were a comedy writer, I would try to find ways to work Mike Tyson in to my stuff. He can contribute.

In the interests of full disclosure, I want everybody to know I was never in Mike's corner. I was always for Holyfield. Still, Iron Mike has a promising second act on tap, if he can keep his act together.

Other than Tyson, the only funny moments are the occasional flashbacks, bits of video tape and digital pictures of what the guys did when they were flying on Ruffies. There is a rather shocking photo shown at the end of the movie, during the credits. Stay and be shocked. Be warned, this is not for kids.

So just one last word about interpretation. I had read that The Hangover is ultimately palatable to everyone because it is a morality play and a precautionary tale. It warns us not to get fucked up in Vegas, otherwise all manner of living Hell on Earth will break loose. My dad rejected this interpretation and declared that this is an adventure movie. It is a movie where four guys have an adventure together, then end. It cannot be considered a precautionary tale because one guy gets very positive results out of the journey.

Well, after hearing both opinions--and seeing the movie--I must come down on the side of the Pros. They were right. My Dad got it wrong. Although the movie tries to be amiable about it, these guys took one hell of beating in Vegas. They lost a lot of money. They went to jail. They got taszered. They lost teeth. They got tiger stripes on their backs (from tiger claws). They got sun burnt beyond recognition. They got belted by the champ. They got beat up by little gay naked Asian dudes. They took a pounding. The dude who purportedly got good results got very questionable results at best. You can call it addition by subtraction. I am not sure what the future holds for him.

Ultimately, I did find this stoner movie palatable because it is a moral precautionary tale that warns us not to get fucked up in Vegas. As Mike Tyson says "We all do stupid shit when we get fucked up."

Incidentally, the Bride to be (Sasha Barrese) is absolutely stunning! What a gorgeous woman. I can't wait to see more of this woman. She is evidently of Russian extraction, and lived in Paris for a time. This is a devastating beautiful 28 year old woman here.

One word about Heather Graham: I am shocked by what a tiny part they gave her in this movie. She plays a nice character, but frankly, she was not given nearly enough work to do. At 38 Heather remains one of the most beautiful women on Earth. You & Mittens are always welcome at my place. You can come over and tell all the dirty jokes all you want. I'll even put on a Green Bay Packers game for you.

Hollywood aught to be ashamed that they don't use Heather more. She needs to accept the fact that you can't choose your fans. She always wanted to be popular with the girls, and be a girl-power heroine. Heather, you must accept the fact that your demographic is geeky guys who are into science fiction, comic books and video games. We need to see you in some scifi movies, preferably playing a deliciously clad super-heroine. You will be extremely popular again if you do this. Get together with Josh Wheddon about doing a project. He's the man. You would have been perfect on Serenity.