Virgo-Pisces Alliance No.228: Why is Trent Dilfer Andrew Luck's biggest fan?

So, unless you have been under a rock for the past two years, you probably know the name of Andrew Luck.  You probably know that he is expected to the be the #1 over-all pick in the up-coming 2012 NFL Draft.  Unless something really unexpected happens, the Colts will take him and begin their rebuilding effort in verity & sooth.

I will blog about Jim Irsay's very interesting dilemma soon, but not this time.

One of the things football fans have noticed over the course of the past several months is that Andrew Luck has many advocates.  In fact, he has almost zero (0) detractors.

So far, only Phil Simms has risen in critique of Andrew Luck.  I have the greatest respect for Phil Simms, and I view him as one of the top-analysts of the game.  However, I think his critique of Andrew is off-base.  I just don't see it his way.  I just can't see on film what he claims to have seen on film.  When Phil says Andrew doesn't make NFL-type throws, I simply can't understand what he's talking about.  I've seen almost nothing but NFL-type throws out of the kid.  The weight of evidence is greatly against Phil.

Among all of the many advocates Andrew has, one stands out above all the rest.  That would be Trent Dilfer.  Trent Dilfer has said extraordinary things about Andrew.  Like what?  How about "Andrew Luck has no flaws".

Wow... that would make Andrew Luck perfect, now wouldn't it?  I rate the kid pretty dang high, but I would stop shy of perfect.  It's pretty clear that Trent doesn't shy away from that statement.  He believes Andrew will have the most glory-ladened career of all the young'ins coming up in the 2012 NFL Draft.  Trent really believes he is the perfect QB candidate.

It's to be expected.  Trent is a March 13, 1972 Pisces dude.  Andrew is a September 12, 1989 Virgo kid.  That's almost a perfect 180, folks.  The circular distance between March 13 and September 12 is almost exactly 180 degrees.  That is the most powerful angle for attraction, balance, and complementary.  Sirius 1.1 doesn't score them that high, but this is one of those false negatives I like to harp upon.  Looking at the two charts in comparison, I can see obvious things the scoring engine missed.  Dilfer likes Luck better than Sirius says.

Incidentally, Trent is birthday-buddies with my brother.  My brother is 3 years younger.  Once upon a time, I was Trent Dilfer's biggest advocate in the NFL Draft.  I was the leader of the Draft-Trent movement among the Ram fans back 1994.  I was so incandescently pissed-off  when my Rams failed to broker a deal in that draft that I literally took a couple of years off from football.  I knew we were going to suck.  1994-1998 were absolutely dreadful years, only exceeded by our recent stretch of time.  I maintain those would have been much better years if we had made a deal and selected Trent.  Our biggest problem in those days was the QB position.

If you have been keeping track of super-recent events, you know that a debate is emerging inside NFL business circles.  The question is simple.  Who is better:  Andrew Luck of Robert Griffin III?  This is natural occurrence.  We always have too much time on our hands this time of year, ergo we chew over questions and non-questions a thousand times.  Just a couple of months ago, this question would have been considered untenable.

I want to make some specific predictions about this coming debate:

1. It will rage on until draft day
2. RGIII's knee injury will not deter this debate.  Andrew had one also.
3. The Fire/Air Alliance will back RGIII
4. The Earth/Water Alliance will back Andrew Luck.
5. Mike Mayock is going to be torn.  He's next door to Andrew and 180 degrees away from RGIII.  He's going to struggle with this one.  I bet he loves both of these kids.
6. The same goes for Mel Kiper.
7. Todd McShay will side with RGIII
8. Trent Dilfer will continue to be Andrew Luck's biggest advocate.
9. Kurt Warner & Rich Eisen will side with Andrew Luck.

Congrats to the Giants, Super Bowl XLVI Champions

I held true to my vow and I boycotted the Super Bowl yesterday.  It was the best thing in the world for me, really.  I went to the gym and met an Aries female with a conjuncted Venus/Mars in Taurus.  Wow!  She is a pain-control therapist, and decided she just had to heal me.

I don't think I mentioned it lately, but I am pack of training injuries right now.  I injured my back on Pro-Bowl Sunday doing suspension work.  My right knee hurts from squatting.  My right shoulder still hurts.  My Carpal Tunnel still hurts.  My left ankle hurts.  She spent four hours working on me with a $6,000 theraputic laser... and other methods.

She told me that the first thing she though when she saw me was "what a face!"  I guess I put the whammy on her.  Then she noticed I was limping in semi-hunched fashion, indicating multiple pain points. As recently as yesterday, I seriously doubted Sirius 1.1's diagnosis of my synastry versus Aries females.  Now, empirical facts being what they are, I am being forced to reconsider.

So in other words, I got lucky because I skipped the Super Bowl.  Hallelujah!  Let's skip it again next year.

But I digress.

So the Giants doubled-down and humiliated the Patriots for a second time.  Rich Eisen can no longer argue that Tom Brady is the greatest QB in the history of the game {because he is from Michigan and married Gisele Bundchen}.  Eli has spoiled this legacy.  You keep what you kill.  Eli has killed Tom head-to-head four times in a row and twice in the Super Bowl.  Eli has killed him.  Eli must now be recognized as the greatest of all time, if you follow the fallacious QB logic that would have placed Tom Brady there in the first place.

Speaking of Gisele, she seems to have created a PR flap by saying her husband couldn't fucking throw the football and catch the fucking football at the same time.  In other words, his receivers dropped a bunch of key passes, resulting in this loss.

I have to issue a concurring opinion.  The Cancer woman is quite correct.  In the final analysis, the end difference in this very close game is the fact that the Giant receivers completely out-performed the Patriot receivers.  Hakeem Nicks, Mario Manningham and Victor Cruz kicked some major arse.  Brady's receivers did not.  This was the big bulging asymmetry that made the difference.  This was the difference that made a difference.

There is a zen lesson here for my Rams.  I know a QB who suffered a hundred times more drops than Brady did in 2011-2012.  This is a QB who has suffered with the worst receiver corp in the league two years running.  His receivers are so bad, they couldn't catch a cold running barefoot and naked through an Alaskan blizzard... soaking wet.

When you surround a QB like Eli with 3 kick-arse receivers, just look at what he can do.  When receivers drop passes, even a QB as accomplished as Tom Brady looks bad in the clutch.

The moral of this story is quite simple:  Surround Sam Bradford with three #1 class receivers, and everything is going to be alright.  This is what we have to do.  The mission is clear.  Now let's do it.

In conclusion, I just want to express my appreciation to Giants for knocking off the Patriots again.  The entire civilized football world owes you a great debt of gratitude.  I thank God for you.  We love you.  We appreciate you.  We are throwing bouquets at you.  I am sure I speak for all Ram fans when I say that.  Several major threads saying such things kicked off on facebook.com last night.  We are celebrating your victory.

So is James Harrison.  It just goes to show that Bellichick can't win without his camera crew.

Jamie Dukes and Philip Rivers: Opposites attract.

I'm going to start this blog in a somewhat strange way: With a tale about my dad. My dad has been divorced for about two years now, and recently he has been thinking about re-entering the market. Believe it or not, market conditions are pretty good for an old man.

Since I have been on an astrology kick lately, he asked me what sort of woman he aught to go after. My dad just happens to be a Sagittarius, so I told him that his strongest attraction would be to a Gemini woman. You see, Gemini and Sagittarius are 180 degree opposites. Geminis are born in late may (right now) and June. Sagittarians are born in late November and early December. They are half a year away from each other.

Opposites attract. Opposites have the most powerful attraction. Negatively charged magnets go after positively charged magnets. High Ph. goes after low Ph. Heat seeks cold. Air fills a vacuum. Negatively charged electrons orbit around positively charged protons. We're talking about physical laws here folks. There is some real science behind this theory folks.

Pop wasn't too pleased with that answer. He had recently had a bad experience with a Gemini woman he had high hopes for. The mere fact that he had had this experience and high hopes was proof positive of the theory, but he wasn't prepared to hear this. Of course, I understood him completely. I have suffered these disappointed with my opposite numbers as well.

A couple hours later, after grilling with some friends, the two of us are watching a corny but fun cult comedy called Highway to Hell (1991) brought to you by Stiller Clan (Jerry, Ben, Amy and mama Anne Meara). Suddenly, an actress named Pamela Gidley makes her entrance. My dad sits up sharply and has an instant synastry reaction. He immediately asks "Who's that girl!" I whup out my trusty Thunderbolt and look her up on the imdb.com app.

I immediately crack up laughing "Guess what, Pop? You just reacted big-time to a Gemini woman. Pamela Gidley was born June 11, 1965 in Methuen, Mass." He looked a little disconcerted. Maybe the magic works after all?

Now let's move on to the NFL Network. Rich Eisen asks Jamie Dukes and Warren Sapp who should be favored to win the AFC West in 2011... presuming there is a 2011.

[Incidentally, Dukes is a Gemini and Sapp is a Sagittarius. They work very well together despite being on opposite sides of the line and the Zodiac.]

Immeidately, Dukes declares the San Diego Chargers. I immediately bust up laughing. Dukes is a broken record on this subject. Rich Eisen challenges him sharply, asking Dukes to justify his statement. Like me, Rich Eisen just doesn't believe in the Chargers anymore. I don't know how you can believe in the Chargers. I think they are ripe for the wheels to fall off in 2011. If you ask me, they are clearly on the downslope.

Dukes centers his faith in the Chargers upon the very person of Christ Jesus... er... Philip Rivers. Philip Rivers is the marquee player and the only franchise QB in that entire division. Philip Rivers is the guarantor of the Chargers' supremacy in the AFC West. Rich wasn't buying it. Neither was I.

Why is Jamie Dukes to irrefutably sold on Philip Rivers that he believes the guy can single-handedly win the AFC West? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that Jamie Dukes was born on June 14, 1964 and Philip Rivers was born on December 8, 1981. Jamie is a Gemini and Philip is a Sagittarius. There is a powerful oppositional affinity there folks.

Now, Philip has plenty of merit. This guy consistently ranks as one of the top passers in the league. He's a hell of a good leader too. Dukes isn't just pissing in the wind when he says this is a marquee QB. However, most of the rest of us are not so enamored with the guy that we think he can do it all by himself as the rest of the franchise falls down around his ears. Jamie is and does.

So are you saying that Jamie Dukes's predictions for the Chargers is based entirely on an irrational confidence in Philip Rivers born out of oppositional affinity? Yep, that's precisely what I am saying. It's completely irrational to believe Philip Rivers can win the AFC West single handed. Jamie thinks Philip can win it single-handed due to oppositional affinity.

I, too, know the problems of oppositional affinity. When the Steelers called the Rams trying to deal Ben Roethlisberger, I was just about ready to listen to that deal. Ben just happens to be a Pisces and I happen to be a Virgo.

Several times during this draft season, I stiffled myself as I was preparing to sing the praises of Christian Ponder. He happens to be a Pisces also. I still think Ponder can turn into a heck of a good QB, but as I write that line, I am a little concerned that I may be biased due to oppositional affinity. I also happened to be the guy who spear-headed the Draft Trent Dilfer campaign in St. Louis back in 1994. Yep, Trent is not just from my home-town college, he's also a Pisces.

Oppositional affinity is powerful thing folks. This is nothing to be trifled with or dismissed easily. Nobody will excite, disappoint, overjoy, or infuriate you more than your opposite number from around the other side of the year. They get under you skin big time.

Just ask Terry Bradshaw why Lynn Swann was his favorite receiver when he had John Stallworth on the other side.

The Mallett-6?

Most of us caught an ESPN production called the Brady-6 this draft season. It was about the 6 busts drafted ahead of Tom Brady in the 2000 draft. The Patriots terminated Brady's slide and the rest is history.

For a completely different set of reasons, Ryan Mallett fell out of the top 15 zone all the way down to the #74 pick in the 2011 draft. The Patriots terminated Mallett's slide. 6 guys were drafted ahead of Ryan Mallett in this 2011 draft. There are already some speculations about whether history is repeating itself.

Certainly, all 6 of these QBs could go bust. I doubt it, but it could happen. Guys like Christian Ponder and Andy Dalton would have to become medical busts for that to happen. Jake Locker would have to washout. Certainly a significant number of the guys drafted ahead of Mallett will go bust.

Mallett could get cut at any moment if he lapses back into drug use. Bellichick won't put up with it. Yes, Mallett is a prime suspect in the 2011 bust sweep-stakes.

We shall have to see.

As we all know, Bellichick hasn't won a single game in the playoffs since he got caught cheating back in 2007. Since then, his Patriots are 0-3 in the playoffs. Perhaps they can win a playoff game with Mallett at the QB.

Call me foolish, call me irresponsible, but Brady just hasn't been the same since Justin Bieber cut his balls off in public. I think Bellichick senses this castration and feels the time is now to begin preparing Brady's replacement.

Rich, I know you worship and Brady's asshole, but you can stick a fork in, coz he's done.

It's draft week folks.

We are at T-Minus 78 hours and counting to the launch of the draft folks. Thursday evening at 4:00 pm PST, the gavel will fall and the Panthers shot-clock will start. Let's hope they don't fuck it up by selecting Cam. I pitty you, Eric. You have my profound condolences.

A few key precepts

1. This is a razor-thin draft. There is no depth to this draft. Once we are thought round 3, stick a fork in it, cuz we are done.
2. The 2011 draft cannot compare in any way with the 2010 draft. 2010 was vastly superior to 2011. Understand that this is the weakest senior class Charlie Casserly has seen in 27 years in this business.
3. There will be a large and disproportionally high ratio of over-drafted disappointments and busts in this draft.
4. This is a defensive draft, not an offensive draft.
5. What depth there is in this skinny draft exists at the defensive end position.
6. The linebacker position is the thinest position in this draft class. Von Miller is the only impact player at the LB position. Akeem Ayers is the only good 2nd rounder. Chris Matthews is the only guy I want to select in round 3. This is a terrible year to be in need of a linebacker.
7. This is a bad year for the QB position. I just heard Rich Eisen suggesting that this is a 'seemingly' quarterback rich draft. This is marketing hype. It's quarterback rich like the year 2000. There may be another Brady 6 in this draft. There are more suspects than prospects at the QB position.
8. This is a wretched year for offensive linemen. Heavy-legged waist-benders with limited upper body strength, and skinny bastards too! Mike Pouncey is the only guy I would bank on as a blue-chip, can't miss prospect.
9. This is a very good year for Wide Receivers. We have two really sweet choices up top and a few others that might pan out in round 2. This is a good year to be in need of a WR.

Devaney unlikely to move up?

I want to preface this section by reminding us all that this is disinformation week. As Mike Lombardi says, it is liar's poker season. There will be more negative influence, trap plays, pump fakes, subterfuge and deception this week than any other week of 2011. Everyone is smoke-screening like a moe-foe, covering up their real intentions.

I have read several nasty reports that Billy Devaney intends to stay put at #14. In an interview with the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, Devaney said that he felt the Rams were smack in the sweet-spot of the draft. Chances are that the Rams will stay put.

Of course, Billy would not be inclined to tell you he has potential deals in the works with the Cardinals and Cowboys even if it were so, now would he? This would only make WR desperate teams more inclined to try to jump us and take their man, right? This can only increase the cost of any potential deal, correct?

I can only say the following: If we aren't smart enough to mortgage the farm to get A.J. Smith, I hope we will take either J.J. Watt or Mike Pouncey. I see these two young men as can't miss blue-chips in any system, and at various positions. Although I would love to have Watt, I supppose Pouncey fills the greater need. I would be glad to see him join the team.

Anybody remember Leonard Hankerson?

Leonard Hankerson is the latest edition of Big-Bird. He was the big-time wide receiver at The U of Miami over the past several years. His draft stock is very uncertain. Many still accord him 2nd round draft status, although many are now reporting that he is slipping into the 3rd round. Mike Mayock's review of Hankerson has inspired much fear. Mayock has emphasized the dropped passes and questionable work ethic he has seen in Hankerson, almost identifying him as a one-year wonder.

Of course, you know I greatly appreciate Mike Mayock. He is one of the few authorities I trust on the draft. However, in this case, I inclined to disagree. I know Hankerson had drop-problems early in his career. I know he has been working hard with Mark Super Duper on this problem. During his senior year I saw real progress and few if any drops. Now, I haven't seen all his game film, so there may be more drops I haven't seen.

If worse comes to worse, and we don't nail one of the top two prospects at the WR position, I would hope we would be smart enough to nail Leonard Hankerson. His combine numbers are terrific. He was sensational at the senior bowl. He is a Taurus kid and will have good synastry with a Scorpio guy like Sam Bradford. Trust me on this one. They will matchup nicely.

If we can have him in the 3rd round, we better do it. CBS Sports currently ranks Hankserson as the 80th best prospect in the draft. It should be noted that the Rams have the 78th pick. Let's get him.

It is better...

1. It is better to have one or two blue-chippers than 7 nothings and nobodies.
2. Knowing that there is little DT depth in this draft, I would hope we would select versatile dude like J.J. Watt, or pass on all of them.
3. Knowing that there are no linebackers in this draft for the Rams, it is better to get a few (like Chase Blackburn) in free agency than to draft projects.
4. Knowing that there are few offensive linemen in this draft, I hope we will have the wisdom to reach for Pouncey or pass on them entirely.
5. Knowing that there are a couple of blue-chip receivers in this draft, it is better to go after them with our draft picks than to get a temporary WR fix in free agency.
6. It is better to fix our defense in free agency than to reach for some questionable prospects through the middle rounds of this razor-thin draft.
7. Strangely enough, I think it is better to go contrariwise in this draft and select offense over defense.

What we need to remember

1. There ain't no use in having a good quarterback if you don't have a receiver to catch his passes down field.
2. Having a quarterback with no receiver is like having a cigarette with no lighter.
3. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having cornflakes with no milk.
4. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having peanut butter with no jelly.
5. Having a quarterback with no receivers is like having Mac with no cheese.
6. We have $50 million invested in a pretty good quarterback
7. We have an absolute #1 pick in phattest draft in recent memory long-sunk in a pretty damn good quarterback.
8. It is a categorical moral imperative to weaponize Sam in this 2011 draft.
9. Getting a big-time receiver in this 2011 draft is the sine qua non, that without which nothing else is possible.

The 49ers? Bah! What rubbish!

Egads, you guys at the NFL Network are going to force me to unmask you as a marketing conspiracy. I would rather allow you to continue masquerading as a expert analysts giving unbiased information, but... allas, you are pissing me off with with this bullshit you pass off as logic and evidence.

Lately it has become a vogue meme to suggest that the 49ers are going to win the NFC West... Yes those Busch League 49ers are supposed to win the west again. That's the team owned by a woman named Denise. I know she pushes her son out in front of her and attempts to hide, but you know goddamn well Denise owns the team. Denise is a lousy, lousy owner; one of the worst in the league to be frank with you. She just doesn't have a clue.

The 49er theory so is patently preposterous, it can only be broadcast because the NFL Network is a marketing department of the NFL. You see, the 49er organization called and said they need help moving tickets. Ticket sales are pretty poor right now. The fans know what to expect. They are not excited. Since the NFL Network is a 100% wholly owned subsidiary, they are obligated to help teams implement their marketing strategy.

Folks, let's be absolutely clear about something: 2010 was the year the tires fell off the 49er rebuilding project. This is now a failed group, particularly on offense. There is hope for the defense, but they were not the elite group they were supposed to be last season.

Rather than this being the year Alex Smith turned the corner, 2010 was the year he went bust to the uttermost farthing. After 6 full years of basically nothing, it is impossible to pretend that this guy is a franchise QB or that he is going to turn the corner. Yet the 49ers are offering him a 1 year contract, and I'll bet you that they are going to try to roll with him in 2011.

You can just forget about the entire 2011 campaign if they go forward with this plan.

Maybe they are planing to lay-down and throw whatever comes of this lockout season in an effort to obtain Andrew Luck? Think about it folks. If they do lay-down, you sure as hell are going to look like a fucking fool for picking them. Think about it folks. You have a professional reputation to protect. You better think twice before picking these guys.

Rather than 2010 being the year that Frank Gore, Vernon Davis, and Michael Crabtree finally developed chemistry, camaraderie and esprit de corp, you once again saw Mike Singletary drag them off by the scruff of the neck to upbraid them for fighting with one another on the practice field. Gore fights with Davis and critiques him sharply in the news media. Davis and Crabtree cuss each other out almost every practice, and they sometimes tie into each other.

This is an offensive unit with shit for chemistry. I am talking about rock-bottom levels of offensive chemistry. You need to break these bums up because they cannot play together. You need to ship them off for whatever you can get for them. You need to execute a full skill position rebuild on offense.

You might well have done that with new coach Jim Harbaugh at the helm, but then the lockout fucked you in the ass, didn't it?

But isn't Gore the reason they will win the NFC West? Folks, Gore has a pair of surgically reconstructed knees. Notice I said reconstructed, not repaired. He had full reconstruction on both knees. In addition to this, his 2010 season was cut short by a microfracture in his hip. If that weren't enough for you, Gore now has 7 full years in the NFL. The life expectancy of a running back is about 4 years. How much rubber do you think he has left on the tires?

Plain and simple: You are looking at a lost year. Good news though, you might be able to select Andrew Luck in the 2012 draft... if there is one.

Memo to the NFL Network: If you don't quit with the ticket-pushing lies, I am going to expose you, hardcore. I am not going to be nice about it either. I'm going to call you out by name an annihilate your fallacious logic and false facts.

So quarterbacks are good if they are drafted in the first round?

Intro

You know how much I love the NFL Network. These guys are my evening house guests every night. Unfortunately, I am going to have to take exception to one big logical fallacy I have heard repeatedly in recent days. This fallacy is posed as a question and it goes a little bit like this:

“If the quarterbacks in this year’s draft are so bad, why are so many of them going to be drafted in the first round?”

The answers are incredibly obvious, but let’s do a bit of reductio ad absurdum just for fun. You know I just loved that reductio ad absurdum to death. This is the force that made my UCLA degree worth more than $0.25 thimble full of coffee. It’s more fun than a barrel full of monkeys.

Implicit within the NFL Network’s argument are the following key points:

• A player must be good to be taken in the first round.
• Conversely, if a player is taken in the first round, he must be good.
• If a bunch of teams are considering a QB in the first round, they must be impressed by the good quality of this year’s crop.
• If a bunch of QBs go in the first round, it must be a good QB year.

Fallacious! Fallacious! Fallacious! This is bogus false reasoning, and completely erroneous also. Fallacious reasoning doesn’t always guarantee a false conclusion; it just means your logic is bad. In this case, the logic is bad and the conclusion is absolutely false. What is the real story?

Rebuttal

Rather than simply stating the obvious let’s do this catechistically. I’ll phrase my answers as questions.

1. If Andrew Luck had come out of Stanford this year, who would be the #1 QB in the 2011 draft?
2. How many teams need a QB this year?
3. If we had had a normal free agency/trade period would all of these teams be in need of QB as we approach the draft?
4. If free agent QBs such as Mark Bulger had flown free, would the Cardinals be looking for a QB right now?
5. If QBs such as Donovan McNabb and Kevin Kolb were on the trading block, would the Vikings and 49ers be looking for a QB right now?
6. If Vince Young had been released, would QB demand in this draft be absolutely unchanged?
7. If Carson Palmer (whose Bengal jersey I am wearing right now) had not abruptly pulled up stakes and retired, do you think the Bengals would use the #4 pick for QB… if they get a shot at it?
8. There are several brand-new first year coaches who have no quarterback to speak of. Several are in near-rebuilding situations. Jim Harbaugh, Leslie Frazier, Mike Munchak and Huge Jackson are in this situation. {Incidentally, the Raiders need a QB, and they don’t want to admit it.} Would QB demand be unchanged if you didn’t have new coaches, hoping for a good start?
9. Do you think the lockout and lack of free agency has had zero impact on club plans in the 2011 draft?

The Solution Set

Folks we live in a time of remarkable NFL crisis. About 10-12 teams need a QB. There is a chronic and serious quarterback shortage in the land. The handful of available (and competent) QBs are quite literally locked out of reach of the needy beggars who want them. The desperation is building. It is palpable and it is visceral.

Against all common sense, many teams are considering the chicken switch (reaching for a 2^nd rounder in the 1^st), but this does not prove that this is a good QB class. Taking an undraftable red-light kid in the 1^st round is not indication that this is a good year. The fact that desperate fools are going to hit the chicken switch is no measure of talent.

Brian Baldinger is quite correct when he says that you’re taking a big risk if you wait for the second round. There might not be anything there for you when the time arrives. Certainly, you will curse the football gods if this happens to you. However, just a few years down the road, you may be counting this event as one of the best things that ever happened to you.

My Perspective

I wouldn’t take Ryan Mallett. I wouldn’t take Cam Newton. I would take Blaine Gabbert, but the price is outlandish. If he hits, it will look like genius. I love second round QBs, but I like my 2^nd rounders in the 2^nd round; not the first. I would love to get Christian Ponder in the 2^nd. I would love to get Andy Dalton in the 2^nd. If you give me Dalton in the 3^rd, I’m going to jump through the roof. I am intrigued by Colin Kaepernick, or are we calling him Optimus Prime now?

Charnak and the Wonderlic have scared me regarding my favorite kid Jake Locker. Nevertheless, I would still take the risk on this kid. I think Jake Locker is a lot better than Kyle Boller.

All the more reason to reach #5 and select A.J. Green

Just a quick thought before I run out the door to work

If you watched the Schedule Release show on the NFL Network last night, you know that Rich Eisen tapped Kurt Warner on the shoulder, designating him the messenger with bad news for all Ram fans. Just what is that bad news?

We have what appears to be a very tough schedule, especially up front. Although my little brother from another mother described the end of the schedule as tough, he was just plain wrong about that. The end is very do-able. It is very tough up front, but relatively easy down the stretch.

Those first 8 games contain some zingers.

I will do a detailed breakdown of the schedule at a later time. I just want to make one point for GM Billy Devaney. We can scream and cry about having to face the last four (5?) world champions, or we can point a loaded shotgun at them. Now which do you want to do?

I will give you one undeniable fact that no one can avoid: We won't beat a single one of these teams unless we score more points than they do. I assure you, my logic is infallible. I challenge you to disprove that statement.

So how do we score more points than the Ravens, the Packers, the Saints, and the Steelers? We better make their defenses sweat. Believe me, I know this is no mean feat. How do you make the Raven, Packer and Steeler defenses sweat? I will guarantee you this: Without a major upgrade at the WR position we will never make them sweat. They will shutdown the guys we have and blitz the hell out of Sam.

I know you don't want that anymore than I do.

The solution set is clear: We need to get up that board and select A.J. Green. Putting Green in front of Bradford is the moral equivalent of pointing a 12 gauge shotgun at these defenses. Now we'll give them some problems. Now we'll give them something to worry about.

I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it again: Nailing a deadly receiver is the first and most important task that we have to accomplish in this 2011 Draft. A.J. is worth whatever he costs us. Getting A.J. is the first and best use of our ammo in this 2011 Draft.

I would be talking deal with the Cardinals furiously right now.

What 5 non-playoff teams from 2010 will make the playoffs in 2011

Presuming we have a season in 2011, we can expect most of our statistical averages play out as per usual.

Usually, we laugh like hell at fans who expect the playoff picture next year to look exactly like it did last year. The reason is pretty straightforward. Each year and every year, about 5 teams who did not make the playoffs the year before make it this year. Since this is a zero sum game, the inverse is also true.

Consider 2010. After two years out of the playoffs, the Seahawks were in. After two years in, the Cardinals were out. After one year out, the Steelers were back in. After one year in the Bengals were out. After a couple of years out, the Packers were in won the whole shebang. After a couple of years in, the Vikings were down and out.

The take home message is pretty simple: The playoff picture changes every single year. There are no instant replays in the playoff picture from year to year.

Rich Eisen, Jamie Dukes and Trent Green kicked this can around on NFL Total Access tonight. Jamie and Trent each produced a list of 5 teams they thought would make the playoffs in 2011. Consult the NFL.com for video. They may yet put that one up on the site.

I thought I would quickly put my list of playoff teams up and explain why some folks still won't win it.

1. Giants
2. Texans
3. Rams
4. Bucs
5. Lions

Why the Giants? Only the Eagles look like a playoff team to me in the East, but they are vulnerable and beatable. I like the Giants to resign Plaxico and find their mojo center again.

Why the Texans? I think their defensive crew is better than advertised, and their LBs are better for the 3-4 than some suppose. They need a secondary, but everything else looks pretty decent. I like Wade Phillips to fix their defense well enough to allow a 6 seed in the AFC tournament.

Why the Rams? I like Sam Bradford's return to the Spread with Josh McDaniels. I think we will find a way to fix our wide receiver problems. We don't have much in the way of opposition in the NFC West. I like my Rams to take the 4 seed, despite a tough schedule.

Why the Bucs? I already spelled this out in an early blog entry. I think they have a fundamentally sound crew on offense. I like their chances of finishing their front four defensively in this year's draft. If they finish their line this year, they will have a good defense this year. I think they will be clutch in key moments, despite a tougher schedule in 2011.

Why the Lions? They Lions have big play makers on offense. They need offensive linemen like a dying man needs water in the desert, but I will trust them to do this in the draft in a few days. Surely they cannot be stupid enough to leave young Matt Stafford unprotected for a 3rd straight season?

Now let me discard some popular picks from Trent and Jamie, and tell you why. Here are the teams picked to make the playoffs this season who will not:

1. The Chargers
2. The 49ers
3. The Cowboys

Why not the Chargers? Stick a fork in, their done. I mean done and done. Forget about it. Done. I've already gone over this ad nauseum. Believe me, I do like the Chargers, but this group has categorically missed its window. They are on the downslope. Smith is on a serious loosing streak in the draft. He is the reverse of the Jets. He moves up at grotesque prices and misses.

Why the 49ers? Folks, with their lousy offensive chemistry, no change at the trigger-man, the loss of their defensive brain Mike Singletary, and a brand new coaching administration you can forget about these guys. The first year in the WCO is a bitch. I have no idea in the world how you can fuckin' pick these guys. These guys are going no where.

I was shocked when I heard a very intelligent dude like Trent Green proposing the notion the 49ers have playmakers. Why in the world would that matter if they have lousy chemistry and unit cohesion? Everyone is in a massive state of denial about the 49ers offensive skill personnel. I am telling you: They need a full skill-position clean and flush. Keep the offensive line, rebuild completely at your skill positions.

Right now, it looks like the 49er plan is to bring in a new coach and keep the same failed crew. It ain't gonna work folks. This is the scheme of a Busch-League organization. They have already brought in a hit parade of good coaches to coach these offensive bums. It ain't working.

Why the Cowboys? Finally! An interesting question! Folks, listen to Michael Irvin. The same fuckers who quit on the Cowboys are still on the roster right now. This is partially a consequence of the lock-out, but I don't think they can completely excise the cancer in a quick-time off-season disrupted by this lockout. The Cowboys' problems are deeper than many think. I am also concerned that Jerry might not do enough to fix their offensive line this season. What if Nick Fairley shows up at 9? What then?

There you have it folks

It's time for your Cam Newton update!

Psyche! No way!

We're not going to play that game here. Just not interested in this topic. Who is anyway? Only Rich Eisen of the NFL Network, that's who.

Rich, this ain't Tim Tebow. Get off this topic. This is not the most transcendent athlete of this draft.

Bouy... starting to doubt these Synastry tea leaves

After having several weeks of fun comparing my chart to those of innumerable famous and not-so-famous women in this world, I decided to train Kepler 7.0 on some of the football personalities I seem to pay so much attention to.

The results seem pretty askew from reality, or at least the way I perceive it. You never know about people until you work and live with them for real, so who can say?

Still I find these reports questionable.

For the record here is the key to decoding these scores:

Above 150 is very high. This trait is VERY strong!

125 to 150 is above average. The trait is strong.

115 to 125 is slightly above average. The trait is slightly strong.

85 to 115 is average.

75 to 115 is slightly below average. The trait is slightly weak.

50 to 75 is weak.

50 or lower is VERY weak!

Billy Devaney and David Leon

Category Totals

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1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 229

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 85

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 117

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 70

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 96

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 142

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 135

Shocking... but then again it is not. Devaney has his sun in Pisces and his Mercury in Aquarius. That is very formative. I know these people well. My brother Ben, my cousin Ana Julia, my former business partner John Z, my favorite evangelical preacher Jimmy Swaggart, and couple other you wouldn't know. All of these people have their Sun in Pisces and Mercury in Aquarius.

Yep that's right, Devaney and Swaggart...

While somewhat low, the mutal kindness is higher than I would have predicted. The aggression score is lower than average, which is remarkable.

For the record, Pisces is in my 7th house. This means my business partners and my future wife are all supposed to come from the Pisces clan. Certainly, several of my realtives do. Virgo/Mercury is one of only two signs that can run with Aquarius/Mecury.

Steve Spagnuolo and David Leon

Category Totals

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 229

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 137

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 118

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 43

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 78

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 80

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 88

Wow... pretty good scores there. No wonder I like the guy. Incidentally, Spags is a major league Sagittarius. It may not be friendly, but it isn't violent either.

David Leon and Dick Vermeil

Category Totals

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 29

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 131

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 3

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 115

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 377

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 176

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 132

Damn... That breaks my heart and wounds my soul to the core. Of all the guys I have held in high esteem over my life as a football fan, Dick Vermeil is pretty damn close to #1 on my list. It kills me to think that we have no mutual understanding and aggression score of 377. The mutual success score is reasonably strong. Understand that this could flip the aggression score and make it a success score. If so, that score is outstanding.

The temperment is totally different though. He is a very emotionally expressive dude. I am not. I have a poker face in pressure situations that just won't quit. Dick is not like that.

I admire the guy so much I doubt we would have that level of violence, but you never know until you work together under pressure.

David Leon and Stan Kroenke

Category Totals

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 0

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 32

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 131

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 67

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 316

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 140

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 157

Wow... well, he is a billionaire. They say these fellows have a totally different mindset all together. Working with them and thinking with them is ostensibly like working hand-in-hand with aliens from another world. The aggression score is once again disturbing.

They say fights happens when strong willed people with strongly held ideas get together...

Dick Vermeil and Stan Kroenke

Category Totals

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 143

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 187

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 100

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 68

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 264

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 146

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 151

Look at 'dem apples. They have pretty damn good scores until you get to kindness and aggression. Whilst not as bad as my scores, those don't look too... pleasant. Nevertheless, you can see why there was ground there for a successful business partnership.

Perhaps it is just the very nature of the beast. Football is so damn aggressive, violent, and competitive that you just can't have an afternoon tea party environment, even in the best situation. The pressure is horrendous.

Dick Vermeil and Sam Bradford

Category Totals

----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 171

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 182

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 161

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 44

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 196

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 180

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 50

Interesting... the two Scorpions have very good scores together until we get to kindness and aggression. The mutual success score is so good that it suggests that the aggression score will flip and become success. If I was Kroenke, I would take note. But then Kroenke is not interested in any of these things.

Just for shits and giggles I decided to throw in a few NFL Network personalities to see how this works out.

Rich Eisen and Jamie Dukes

Category Totals

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 29

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 167

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 98

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 266

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 96

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 176

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 109

The similarity of interests and temperment score should send up red flags. Perhaps their temperments are different, but I suspect they have many common interests. They do seem successful and pleasant together. There is some adventure and surprises in their business. There may be some aggression and competition, but it is below average. I would agree with that.

Rich Eisen and David Leon

Category Totals

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 171

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 12

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 80

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 152

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 0

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 61

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 107

Wow... very similar interests and temperment. No success and no aggression. Interesting...

Jamie Dukes and David Leon

Category Totals

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 0

2. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 117

3. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 104

4. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 121

5. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence 101

6. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 126

7. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 110

Wow... now that aught to throw the whole scheme in doubt. How in the world can I have a shared interest score of 0 with Jamie Dukes? I guarentee you that isn't correct. The rest of the scores are moderate average scores, but the top score must be wrong. I have always felt a great kinship with Jamie Dukes. I think we think similary. Not the same, but similarly. Since we are both interested in football and bariatric surgery, the score must be higher than zero. I guarentee you we have some shared interests. That just has to be wrong.

Now he was a center and I was a nose tackle...

Are the Patriots rebuilding...?

Sometimes I watch the NFL Network and shake my head in disbelief. Last night one of the topics up for discussion was this: Are the Patriots rebuilding? Has the window closed? Is the Patriot way a thing of the past?

Eisen launched the discussion by mentioning that all the Patriot-Way guys are now on ESPN or in other locker-rooms around the league. Rich... I said the same thing last year! You can read my blog entry from September 12th, 2009 and see that I was way ahead of you. Naturally, the Patriots went 10-6, a fact I predicted on week 11, and they were a quick-out in the playoffs. The Ravens beat the shit out of them on their home field in the playoffs.

I do not think the Patriots are making the playoffs in 2010. I could be wrong about that. I still need to see every last 1st quarter of the pre-season before I can be sure. Right now, the Patriots don't look like a playoff team to me. I don't like Mel Kiper, but I totally agree with his comment about the Patriots: They looked like they had other plans for that afternoon during the playoff loss to the Ravens. They looked disinterested in the process that afternoon.

So why are the good folks at the NFL Network blind to the fact that the Patriot dynasty ended early in 2008 when the Commish handed the Lombardi to the New York Giants? There is a simple answer to this question: They aren't blind. They know. There are lies, damn lies, and then there is the promotional function of the NFL Network.

You have to understand that the NFL Network has but one purpose in life: To promote interest in the upcoming NFL season. To wit, they must cultivate interest in the New England region. It does not help their cause any if all of Boston tunes out in 2010 because the Patriots are over and done with. No, they need to promote interest in the New England region to keep those DirectTV subscribers watching those games.

Rich, I know you know. You know that I know. I know that you know that I know. You know that I know that you know. You are practicing outright intellectual dishonesty in your evaluation of the Patriots. You are doing so to fulfill mission objective #1 of the NFL Network: To promote interest in the upcoming NFL season, even in the New England area, where the Patriots are dwindling down.

Just to make sure the Patriot fans don't try to call me a homer, understand that I understand the NFL Network is soft-peddling the horror in St. Louis also. These guys have not been open and forthright in their questions and assessments of management direction in St. Louis. I think they do understand how bad things are, and they are deliberately understating the facts.

They are doing this for one reason: The NFL Network's prime directive is to promote interest in the upcoming NFL season, even in St. Louis, where my Rams are still dwindling down. They are interested in promoting the upcoming NFL season, even in Pittsburgh, where the Steelers are likely in for one gruesome year.

So how did we get the impression that Tebow does everything wrong?

I just finished up an argument online with naybobs on the subject of Tim Tebow. I was amazed at how overstated the critiques of Tim are. Some came out echoing the sentiments of the notorious Jaguar lineman who said "He can't throw." That was reason #1 and #5 on this swarthy moron's list of reasons why Tebow won't make it in the NFL. The folks on my message board went deep into the atrocities and travesties of his throwing motion and footwork. You see, from a Quarterback's point of view, Tim Tebow does everything wrong. This is why he'll never make it in the NFL.

So they said. Of course, these are all NFL QB coaches with Hall of Famer QBs on their resume. err... you mean you haven't done anything but watch football since High School?

Critics, you gotten down right stupid. The balanced people out there know it. Stop and consider the dramatic exaggerations of fact you are spewing. If it were true what you say, if Tebow does do everything wrong from the viewpoint of a real quarterback, how then do you explain any of the young man's many achievements? If his mechanics were utterly and fatally flawed, he never would have started or played in the first place at the 2 time national champion Florida Gator teams. If he did everything wrong, he would have been converted to another position, he would have ridden the bench, or his scholarship would have been revoked. There is simply no other possibility.

"Oh but the pro game is so different from the college game..."

It's not that different. It is categorically impossible for wretchedly flawed quarterback (who does it all wrong) to become one of the greatest college football players in history. It is not possible for him to prove himself in victory after victory in the ultra-hard SEC. He could never have passed with a career efficiency rating of 176. He could not have won the Heisman. He could not be the 4th ranked QB in this 2010 draft. He could not be the subject of 3rd round considerations around the league. {The 3rd round seems to be the new consensus on the NFL Network.} You would not have men like Brian Billick, Michael Lombardi, Charles Davis, and Mike Mayock warning you: Do not bet against Tebow in the NFL.

Rich Eisen has hinted strongly in the direction of my last paragraph several times on the NFL Network. The most clear case occurred when he interviewed Tebow at the NFL Combine. Eisen is careful to remain neutral on most political issues in his capacity as moderator on the NFL Network. Yet he has found a way to ask a few damning questions of the Tebow critics. Jamie Dukes has been peppered once or twice. Clearly, Eisen does not understand how a QB so tragically flawed as Tebow can do what Tebow has done.

The solution to the conundrum is simple: The critics vastly overstate their case to the point of error. Tebow is not nearly as mechanically flawed as they say he is, and he is even more athletic than we suspected. Only in the case of Tebow does a score of 22 on the Wonderlic equate to stupid. For Clausen, 23 is not stupid. Have you forgotten that Tebow averaged a 3.66 GPA at Florida? Do you remember that he was an academic all-american also? He does not come off as stupid to me.

Tebows achievements are a fact, not a theory. The analysis and conjectures of his mechanics involve a lot of opinions, and theory. In a philosophy of science class many years ago, I learned a brutal lesson that has stuck with me ever since: You can't trump a fact with a theory. When the facts collide with the theory, the theory dies, not the facts. Right now, people are twisting the facts to fit their theory that Tebow will fail in the NFL. Scientists don't do that. Good scientists twist the theory until it fits the facts. If your theories & analyses regarding Tebow were accurate, the concrete facts would not be possible. Frankly, your exaggerations are so exaggerated that you sound stupid, not just factually incorrect.

Why does any of this disagreement happen then? Why is it that Tebow has become this polarizing figure in scouting realms?

1. Scout CYA: Tebow has such a big name, that nearly every team in the league began this draft season with an interest in him. More than a few (like the Jags) were prepared to spend a 1st rounder on him. Tony Dungy said he would take Tebow ahead of every QB in this 2010 draft. The scouts know that Tebow has some mechanical problems that need work, and they also knew he would need to learn about Pro style offenses. Ergo, they could not stomach the idea of giving him any sort of grade that would get him near the first round. Early cautious statements were not enough to dampen enthusiasm for the kid, so the scouts increased the intensity of their critiques. It's snowballed from there. Remember: No scout wants to be seen as the guy who gives a development project a first round grade. This is why they do CYA.
2. Jealousy: There are a lot of unhappy and jealous people in this world. Being half Latin, I know something about this. Angry jealousy is something that Latino culture excels at. There are people in this world who get pissed off when they hear that you achieved something, or that something good has happened to you. Their first reaction is not to congratulate, but to get miserable and angry. They wish terrible things would happen to you... like knee injuries or concussions. The sports world, in its zero-sum format, is full of this kind of bitterness. Surely, given the huge record of success Tebow has had, there are many bitter and jealous souls out there who wish it was them. The sports media are full of jealous and bitter jocks who wish it could have been them.
3. Profligacy: Colin Cowherd is one of these guys. There are lounge lizards and playboys all over the sports media, and all over the world. I'm talking about dirty, slimy, scummy bastards who want to get in line for one of Tiger's mistresses and talk about it on the radio. We have debauched drug dealers, street hookers, and gang bangers all inside the NFL family. Many are downright belligerent when it comes to religion. They have much to fear if any of the Abraham religions are correct, but Christianity holds a special place in their ire. A guy like Tebow is not well received by these types. Watching Tebow succeed for the next 10-15 years is more than Colin Cowherd can take. They want the nightmare of a Christian witness to end now. Got bad news for you Colin: You got two others coming up in this draft also; including the #1 ranked prospect.

Consider the biases of the source, the next time you hear outrageously overheated and overstated critiques of Tim Tebow.

Oh God, how I hate twitter!

Of all the preposterous foolishness the Internet has given rise to, Twitter takes the cake. I know that is saying an awful lot, but I believe it is true. I can just here my critics now saying, "Oh come on, Dave! The Internet gave rise to the German Scat flick! Surely Twitter is not that bad." No, Twitter is worse.

Do you realize what this is? It is collection of Morons writing three lines of bullshit a couple of times each day. That is all. Only this and nothing more. You follow people who write three lines of bullshit several times per day. This is evidently a public diary, and the new spin on social networking. People boast that they have 20,000 people following their tweets. They boast that they are one of the top 1,000 twits on twitter.

WTF...?

Do you really believe that 20,000 people read your 3 bullshit lines 3 times per day? If you do, I have a nice bridge on the moon I would like to sell you. It has a lovely view of the lunar sea and thousands of commuter cars must cross it each day... at a nice toll.

Do really believe that any of the celebs are actually letting you in on anything truly personal, private or intimate in their lives? Do you believe they are psychologically naked before you? Do you really believe you are closer to the celebs because of this? If you do, you probably also believe that the Republicans are conservative, and that the Democrats are liberal, and they are really opposed to each other on the fundamentals.

All of this would be okay for the genetically impoverished fucktards of the world, save 2 serious problems.

1. The NFL network is covering the tweet of the day. Goodell is also tweeting (allegedly).
2. We now have absolute assholes on websites reporting on twitter, these blogs about micro-blogging events are polluting and corrupting my custom news page on new.google.com
3. There is a heavy flow of this bullshit appearing on the default new.google.com

I cannot believe the NFL network is wasting time with the tweet of the day. I cannot believe I am going to have re-jigger my custom news page to eliminate any and all rubbish from twitter.

So why fight it, Dave? Why be upset about it? Because they are wasting my time with meaningless babble about nothing. I do not care if you are all into it, and sharing a delicious (but brief) fad-mania with each other. I don't want to waste the minutes of my life discovering:

• That a Corner Back from Tampa Bay had to available between 9:00am and 4:00pm for the arrival of the Cable TV man. Rich Eisen was wonderful enough to pitch that in for his buddies at the DirectTV company.
  
• That my main man Steven Jackson is "totally being fatty-boy" or that he had a good workout and dropped 6 pounds.
• That Kim Kadashian has a new workout DVD called 'fit into your jeans by Friday' and she wants Reggie Bush to try it out.
• That Heidi Montag and Miley Cyrus are in a twittermance... WTF...?

If you want to see the insane level that this depravity has reached just have a look here. The notion is to get people to visit the MTV website by insinuating that Heidi Montag and Miley Cyrus are beginning a lesbian relationship, when nothing of the kind is actually taking place.

But the Ultra-Gay clientele of MTV would like that, wouldn't they?

Let this be a lesson to you twits out there: If you cannot express yourself clearly in writing, you should not be writing. Anything you jot down in twisted, misshaped, incomprehensible English can and will be used against you in the court of public opinion. You may wind up on the cover of public scandal mags for no valid reason.

You know, I am totally ashamed to admit that Twitter is the very first showcase of the Scala language. It was originally done with Ruby on Rails, but the message queue performance was so bad, they had to abandon ROR. Ruby fans are still consternating about that one, explaining how ROR could have been saved with the use of any open source message queue, but the real-world architects of this website think otherwise.

It is unseemly that such a state-of-the-art language is going to be showcased for the first time in such an incredibly bullshitish fad.