My Super Bowl Predictions... Shot to hell in one day

Day of upsets

As far as I am concerned, this Saturday was just like last Saturday: Another day of upsets. Some will complain that it just ain't so, but this is the way I am taking it.

Ravens blow it in a choaker

As you know, the Pittsburgh Steelers defeated the Baltimore Ravens 31-24 yesterday in a pretty massive come-from-behind victory. When the Ravens took a 21-7 lead, I knew it was over. This was going to be a laugher, and I was astonished by how easy the Ravens were making it look.

Not so fast. The Ravens would blow it. You can't tell me this one doesn't smart like hell in the Baltimore locker room. The Ravens had the victory in the bag. They fucked it up. You let them off the hook.

Why is this an upset? Because the Ravens were looking like the most powerful team in the AFC throughout much of the 2010 season, that's why. Many of us considered the Steelers absurdly lucky to escape with the division title this year. This is the reason why Ben Roethlisberger gave us that post-game speech about how proud he was that the Steelers proved themselves to be the true AFC North champions yesterday.

Packers pack fudge

As you also know, the #6 seed in the NFC took down the #1 seed in the NFC last night. Why is that an upset? Whenever the 6 seed takes out the 1 seed, we usually consider that an upset.

Some would protest that designation, as the Packers are considered--by many--to be the most dangerous team in the playoffs. This is the team you don't want to play. They looked every inch of that designation and some last night.

The Green Bay Packers didn't just beat the Falcons. They took the little shavers down to the woodshed and sharpened them up with a leather strop. That was a damn ugly ass-whipping to take in front of your home crowd.

What has happened to my Super Bowl?

For those who don't remember, I was (more or less) expecting the Ravens to meet the Falcons in the Super Bowl. I didn't make playoff predictions before this tournament began because I had a heavy feeling that this is a fluke year.

This isn't entirely a disaster for me, as I had the Packers in Pre-Season. I lost confidence in them as their casualty list waxed long.

Still, I'm warning you... Any goat can climb to the top of the mount this season. Don't be too confident in any of your predictions right now. This is a fluke year.

All I can say is this: You Packers better win the whole fucking enchilada, or I am going to be pissed as hell at you. It's fine if you guys win it, but if... per chance... you or the consequence of your actions allow the Steelers to win their 7th championship, I'm going to be really fucking pissed at you.

The nightmare after the upsets

So I go to bed last night around 2:00am, well after the upsets are over, and I have an unbelievably vivid dream. It wasn't a Vivid dream. It was a vivid dream.

I dreamt I was watching the Vikings play the 49ers in Candlestick in a divisional playoff round. The 49ers were the heavy favorite. The Vikings were the 4th seed North champs. Somehow, the Vikings pulled off a major upset in a heart-attack thriller. The Vikings were dancing off the field when the clock hit zero. It was bedlam for the Vikings.

I would have thought this was a rewind to the 1980s, except for the fact that it was Jared Allen doing all the celebrating and the post-game interviews. This victory meant that the Vikings would return home to host the NFC Championship game, in a Cardinal-type scenario.

This dream makes no sense. Neither the 49ers nor the Vikings made the tournament this year. Neither looks likely next season. Nevertheless, this dream scares me. I'm going to have to watch these two teams closely in the off season. This omen does not bode well for my Rams. If the 49ers were to be the #2 seed in the 2011 tournament, this would necessarily indicate that (1) my Rams didn't win the division, and (2) Jim Harbaugh will do a tremendous job pulling them up off the carpet.

The Pecking Order

A sober analysis of the Rams

The Rams have opened 0-2 for a fourth straight season. Week one featured a loss to the Cardinals. Week 2 featured a loss to the Raiders. Both games were close 17-13 and 16-14 respectively.

Both opponents are now 1-1, with victories at the Rams expense. Both teams were demolished completely by their other opponents. The Raiders were systematically annihilated by the Titans 38-13. The Cards were annihilated 41-7 by the Falcons.

Now for the complex part. The opponents of the opponents are both 1-1. The Falcons destroyed the Cardinals and became a 1-1 football team. The Titans destroyed the Raiders and are now 1-1. Who did the Falcons and Titans lose to? It was the same opponent, the Pittsburgh Steelers, who are now 2-0.

Stop me if I am wrong, but the Steelers are supposed to be vulnerable and beatable team right now lacking Ben Roethlisburger, am I right? Maybe not. However, most Las Vegas experts would not put money on the Steelers were they going against top-end competition like the Colts or the Saints. They probably wouldn't bet money on the Steelers were they going against the Texans either.

The way I see it, the Steelers are a second tier team, below the elites, especially in view of the fact that they lack Roethlisburger. They may change my mind very soon. We will see.

This would make the Falcons and Titans 3rd tier, or so it seems in the early going of this 2010 season. Yet the Falcons and Titans systematically annihilated the two opponents who have defeated the Rams.

So here we have our first whiff of an NFL pecking order, or ranking tree. Guess who is at the bottom-bottom? Well... the Vikings are 0-2 also. Yep, but they are not expected to finish with a losing record. Neither are they rebuilding... yet.

Because hope springs eternal, and fans are biased to believe whatever a General Manager tells them, there were some who were all jacked up about the Rams in the 2010 NFL Season. As you well know, I was not one of them. I believe we passed on many opportunities to acquire high-impact players. I'm am talking about all-pro players like Brandon Marshall, Alan Faneca, Thomas Jones, and Albert Haynesworth. In short, we did not do what we needed to do to produce a great-leap ahead.

The forces of truth would dictate that management should be honest about verities of the situation. You should try to bring down expectations, warning people that this going to be a rough year. This is only year 2 (or 3) of a comprehensive a-z rebuilding program. Tempering the enthusiasm with a little reality is the honest thing to do.

Against the forces of truth are the marketing forces. Marketing forces would remind us that the Rams were 29th in stadium attendance last season. They would remind us that the Rams are currently operating in the Red. They would remind us that the Rams just dished out 50/78 (86?) million dollar contract to Sam Bradford. They would remind us that the Rams are about to pitch a new Stadium proposal at the city fathers of St. Louis. If city fathers don't buy into it, it's time to move the franchise.

Who wins in the battle of truth v marketing? Marketing, by a knock-out. Truth goes down in flames.

So, the Rams' draft strategy in 2010 has not produced an instant-turnaround. We have not seen a great leap ahead. It has not produced a substantial change in the NFL pecking order.

We are still seeing a lot of guys rolling around on the ground defensively during enemy running plays. OH! I forgot, they were tackled by the turf monster. However, there are no holding calls when the turf monster tackles our front 7.

This would not have happened if we drafted Ndamukong Suh, kept Adam Carriker and traded for Albert Haynesworth. You know I was pissed about all of these issues. I wrote about these moves and anti-moves copiously in public forums.

Hey, I've got an idea: Let's draft a surgically repaired QB, who missed his senior season, provide spotty protection from an unproven line, poor receivers, run an outdated offense, with a bad coordinator, and let's tell the fans we are going to make a great leap forward. What do you say to that?

Great plan! Some might not buy it, but we are in a business where you just can't please everybody all the time. We have to accept that. This will work! It's sufficient for 2010.

The Falcons should feel confident of victory this weekend

The Atlanta Falcons have absolutely everything they need to roundly defeat the New England Patriots in Foxborough this weekend (game 3) of the 2009 NFL season. They have outstanding offense, they have a franchise QB in Matt Ryan, a franchise TE in Anthony Gonzales, and a powerful franchise RB in Michael Turner. They have an opportunistic ball-hawking defense that already has 9 take-aways against strong offensive teams. They are much better than their #22 ranking. They have outstanding special teams play, led by Jason Elam, owner of the NFL's longest field goal. They have youth. They have experience. They have all-pros. They have role-players. They have everything you need to put together a powerful contending football team. In short, the Falcons are a damn good squad. They are one of the more complete teams in the league.

The Falcons should be favored to win. We should not view the game as an upset when they do win. There is no reason to favor the Patriots by 4 outside of dynastanalingus. Dynastanalingus is a grave psycho-social malady that afflicts sports writers and handicappers world-wide. This disease is marked by a compulsive need to lick the assholes of whosoever is considered the reigning dynasty of the moment... even if said team has not won a Super Bowl in 5 years, and never ever enjoyed an undefeated season. Dynastanalingus is one of the most powerful causes of errant missed predictions, pseudo-upsets, and dismayed surprise. It also causes those afflicted to deny that dynasty is over, long after they have jumped the shark.

We could also sight the fact that ESPN is headquartered in Bristol, Connecticut. Need we remind the world that they covered a decade or more of meaningless BoSox games when the BoSox were absolutely terrible? Need I remind you that they turned the Yankees vs BoSox into the ultimate rivalry? Need I remind you of the hoopla they raised when the BoSox finally won the series. Much of the esteem for the Patriots stems from the pure bias of ESPN-ites who are from that sector of the country.

Keep your heads up Falcons. Fight. Win. The only thing that can stop you is you. The Patriots are rebuilding. If you execute your gameplan, you will prevail. There will be a street-fight, but you should be confident of victory.

Just think, you can spoil Monday morning for all the radio personalities who are desperate and Jonesing for a good moment to lick Belichick's asshole clean. This is especially true for those who think that a Wes Welker is a belt on a 3 piece suit, and his return guarantees the Patriots victory.