I am the Egg McMuffin of Drip-Sexy!

Yesterday, I visited with Team-Quilici in Burbank for the first time since September 29.  I weighted in at 195 pounds last time.  This time I weighed in at 183.  My blood pressure was a cool 110 over 62.  My heart rate was clocked at 55 bpm.

I met with Dr. McVay, who took care of me in the hospital after surgery, and she seemed genuinely stunned by my progress.  Of course, I was wearing one of my signature skin-tight Under Armour turtle neck shirts that paints my progress in bold relief.  There was no faking or mistaking that look on her face.  It was an irritated expression that said "Excuse me, where is my patient?  Who the hell are you?"

I am your patient.  

That was when the stunned reaction occurred.  I can't blame her for being stunned.  Just since 5/13/2011, I have lost some 38 liters of body volume.  If I asked you to carry 38 liters of Pepsi to the car, you couldn't carry it all in one haul.  Could you carry 19 x 2 liter bottles in one haul?  That's not the total volume either.  That's only a partial figure.

She loved the Bod Pod progress charts I showed her.  She was amazed that I have been officially classified as a member of the healthy group.  She totally understood what a bastard the Bod Pod test is... probably better than you and I do.

She went through the scripted questions to see if there have been any emerging complications.  A funny moment occurred when she hit this scripted question:  Are you having any problems keeping the weight off? She realized I was 12 pounds down from the last visit and 1.4 pounds down from the Bod Pod test last Friday just as I said "I'm still going down."

I've done so well that Dr. McVay has officially released me from the program for a year.  I am not supposed to go back and see them again until 1/14/2013... if our human civilization should happen to make it that far.

Not only that, but this morning my weight was back down to 181.4.  I don't know what happened to that 1.6 pounds over night, but it vanished.  I didn't do much last night outside of watching a brutal BCS Championship game.   "I'm still going down."

I think it is safe to say that I have exceeded there wildest expectations, but I am not going to stop here.  I'm going on.

Tonight, I entered a new phase of training.  I added the Rack to my workout.  Contrary to the hype, the Rack is not a Panacea, but it is an excellent way to work your core, and add a few body weight exercises to the regime.  I took it with me to the gym tonight, and I integrated the Ab Crawl, Bicycle kick, bar dips, an frog kicks (ne crunches) into the workout.  The Ab Crawl is a bitch.  The Bicycle Kick is worse.

I did a quick circuit routine that included all of the following exercises:

1. Halo
2. Swing
3. Sumo Chin
4. Bar Dips
5. Bicycle Kicks
6. Pull ups
7. Ab Crawl

I repeated that circuit 5 times with each of the following kettlebells:  12kg, 16kg, 20kg, 24kg, 60 pounds.  The whole workout took only about 40 minutes, including setup.  I was so busted after the final circuit with 60 pounds, I could not perform the Turkish Get Up correctly.  I lost control and flopped over as I was getting up.  I took that as a warning that I was courting an injury, so I stopped.

At first, I was displeased with the workout.  As I drove home, I changed my mind.  I realized that this was a very CrossFit workout.  I feel pretty dang worked at this point.  I am going to sleep well tonight.  I think I was very successful.  

I dunno if I can do this Paleo thing...

So, a few moments ago the score was 183.4 pounds on my Tanita bathroom scale.  Yesterday morning, my weight was 184.754 on the Bod Pod.  As you know, the Tanita weighs heavier than the Bod Pod by about 0.8 pounds these days.  I would guestimate that the Bod Pod would place me at 182.6 this morning.

What happened to those 2.1 pounds?   My itinerary last night cannot explain it.  I did not hit the sauna.  I did not get a massage.  I did not purge out my intestines with Magnesium Sulfate.  I did not take Tylenol.  I did all of these things on the evening of the 5th, before the Bod Pod.  Yesterday, I simply ate two Paleo meals, and drank two additional whey protein drinks.  I also worked out like a kettlebell savage last night.

This is a tantalizing result, and very suggestive.

But now comes the rub:  meal #2 consisted of chicken, nuts and blue berries, and it produced one hell of a sticking event.  A sticking event is a side-effect of roux-en-y gastric bypass in which certain food types 'refuse' to clear the pocket stomach for an extended period of time.  The gut-pressure this produces results in a very uncomfortable feeling.  You feel as if you have a drainage plug stuck in your gut.  It blocks everything from passing, including water.

I hardly slept a wink last night.  I doubt I slept at all.  I tried to relax on the couch and then in bed, but I didn't really sleep.  Eventually, the sun came up.  I am anything but well rested right now.  Strangely, I do feel as if I have a good amount of metabolic energy this morning.  Mentally, I am very frazzled right now.  Physically, I am ready to go exercise.

Certainly, I cannot afford a repeat of last night.  If the paleo diet produces sticking events like this, I just can't do the paleo diet.  One of the symptoms the paleo diet was designed to correct is poor sleep.  I cannot afford to go sleepless again.

I am going to stick to it today, and eat my final meal of the day no later than 6:00pm.  If I stick again, the paleo diet is over and out.  If I sleep well tonight, game on.

Still, you have to wonder about that sudden evaporation of 2.1 pounds.  My weight has gone this low before.  I have seen these figures and lower.  However, my body is feeling pretty hard and toned this morning.  I think I look leaner.

Tantalizing results for just 24 hours.  Very suggestive...

Bod Pod XV: I am now officially a member of the healthy class

It's been quite some time since Bod-Pod XIV:  49 days to be precise.  November 18, 2011 was the last time I stepped into the Bod Pod naked.  As a consequence of physical injury, exhaustion, the holiday season, and a need to spend money elsewhere, I decided to shutdown the Bod Pod testing for a little while.

That time is now over.  Back to work.

I am generally pleased with my latest results.  I didn't make massive progress, but I made important progress.  A major milestone has fallen:  The Bod-Pod software now rates me as member of the healthy category, rather than a  member of the moderate risk category.

The facts of the case of are these:

1. My body weight decreased from 186.898 to 184.754, a net reduction of 2.144 pounds
2. My body fat decreased from 40.180 pounds to 35.266 pounds, a net reduction of 4.914 pounds
3. My body lean increased from 146.718 to 149.488, an increase of 2.77 pounds.
4. My Body Fat Percentage (BFP) is now 19.1%
5. My Body Lean Percentage (BLP) is now 80.9%
6. My body volume decreased from 80.731 liters to 79.416 liters, a loss of 1.315 liters.
7. As I mentioned before on this blog, any BFP between 15% and 20% is considered a healthy BFP.  19.1% qualifies me as a member of the healthy class.

Now it is time to mount the assault on the 15% barrier.  This next barrier will put me in the officially athletic category.  It is a mark of excellence for a 45 year old man to be ranked as officially athletic by a 100% pure bastard of a testing tool like the Bod Pod.  I want that distinction.  I want them to pin that medal on my chest.

Just to give you an idea of how difficult it is to move the BFP needle downward, consider the following facts.  When I began testing on 5/13/2011, I had 114.09 pounds of fat hanging from my frame.  Today, I have only 35.266 pounds of fat clinging to my frame.  That is a loss of 78.824 pounds of fat.  I lost 69.01% of my total stock of body fat.  At the same time, I only succeeded in moving my BFP from 44.1% down to 19.1%.  I only reduced my body BFP 25%.

Doesn't seem fair, does it?  That just doesn't seem right.  How can a guy lose 69.01% of his body fat and only move his BFP downward 25%?  This even more problematic when you stop to think that I increased my lean mass 4.928 pounds during that period.

Nevertheless, both of these statements are mathematically true by definition.  I lost 69.01% of my total stock of body fat, and it was only sufficient to move my BFP down 25%.  I think this is the best possible illustration of what a bitch the Bod Pod test really is.  This machine is pretty hard to impress.

I am under no misapprehensions about how easy the next barrier (15%) is going to be to breach.  I know it will be hard.  The further I go towards perfection, the more elusive it gets, the more effort it takes, and the more time it takes.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more!  Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war!

In order to breach this next barrier, I am seriously considering taking the CrossFit Paeleo challenge.  You can read about it here and here.  This is all the rage in the CrossFit movement.  I have read pretty outlandish claims for this diet & training regime.  Just this month, the print magazine Fitness-RX pretty much guaranteed a loss of 10 pounds of pure fat and the addition of 10 pounds of lean in just 30 days, if the program is executed correctly.

Now, I have lost more than 10 pounds of pure fat in a single month.  I have done this many times.  During the high-tides of summer 2011, I lost about 12 pounds of pure fat each month, every month, month after month.  I have the Bod Pod records to prove it.  However, I never succeeded in adding 10 pounds of pure lean in any month during this phase of the game.

Many experts will tell you it is damn near impossible to lose fat and gain lean simultaneously.  Believe me, I know it.  My Bod Pod records will show you that I have lost fat and gained lean simultaneously, once or twice, only to see my lean gains evaporate into thin air under the pressure of further weight loss.

Still, I am going to give this a try.  If I succeed, my body weight will remain 184.754 pounds in 30 days, however, I will have only 25.266 pounds of body fat left, and my lean weight will be 159.488 pounds.  This will move my BFP all the way down to 13.675481992270803338493347911277%.  How about that precision?

183.4 and I hope I am not loosing my muscle

So the official score a few moments ago was 183.4, and that is a tad scary. During this post-surgical weight loss period, I touched 181.9 pounds once, but it bounced right back up again. 183.4 is an awfully low figure. I hope I am not losing my muscle.

Lately, I've been cruising around 184.8 to 186.9. That is approximately a 2 pound range. That is a normal oscillation factor. This can be accounted for by body-water and body-waste. I've been bouncing around in that range for more than one month.

But this was before I learned how to cook beans...

What is the big deal about beans? It turns out that beans, all kinds of beans, constitute a diet super-food. Just about every "get-ripped" diet focuses hard on consuming beans. If the rhetoric from countless certified dietitians is to be believed, beans are a magic weight-loss food. They deliver a pretty solid nutrient pop, whilst being low in calories and high in fiber. They deliver a lot of mass with a very small calorie load. You can eat your fill of beans and wind up with a low calorie total... Even if you have a big stomach. If you have a 90% surgically reduced stomach, as I do, your fill of beans constitutes almost nothing in terms of calorie load.

My family never ate much in the way of beans as I was growing up. Bean dishes were frowned upon as "poor-man's food." This fact may well be implied by my former body weight. Consequently, on those rare occasions when I attempted to cook them, it didn't work out well. I didn't know how to cook them well.

It doesn't help that 8-24 hours of soaking is called for my many recipes. That's 8-24 hours of soaking before several hours of simmering. It doesn't help that the "speed method" involves boiling and resting for one hour before pressure cooking. All of these methods are long. In stark contrast, rice can be prepped in 12-30 minutes if you use the speediest methods.

It turns out there is a rapid method. You put 8 oz of raw/dry/hard beans (by volume) in 32 ounces of clean water, and you pressure cook for 31 minutes. My Cuisinart electric pressure cooker needs 31 to do a masterful job. Your pressure cooker may need less. Once the beans are done, you discard he water by draining them in a colander. You then dress them like salad: Olive oil, a tab of butter, some balsamic vinegar, a dash of Tabasco sauce, and a generous amount of sea salt gets the job done.

If you pressure cook the beans with some fresh Thyme, Bay leaves, and Rosemary, you will like the results better. You also need a bit of oil in the brew to prevent foaming.

Speaking of salt, salt was the absolute key factor in my past failures with beans. No salt until they are done pressure cooking. No salt when you soak. No salt when you boil. No salt when you pressure cook. No salt until they are done.

This is contrary to all culinary laws, and highly counter-intuitive. Still this is correct. No salt until they are done. The answer lies in the chemical composition of the bean skin. The bean's skin reacts chemically with the salt. It hardens enormously on contact with salt. This will prevent the bean from cooking. What you get is a rock-hard bean that is inedible. If you forgo all salt until they are done, they come out fine.

Since I learned how to cook them, I have fallen in love with beans. I eat a lot of them now. They are great in pesto sauce also. Coincidentally, beans in pesto makes for a very nutrient rich mixture, especially if you use spinach and mixed nuts to make the pesto. The calorie load goes up a bit, but it still isn't bad. They are delicious together.

This remarkable drop into the 183.4 just might indicate that the bean diet is working.  On the other hand, it may indicate I am losing my muscle.  I sure hope the latter isn't the case.

186.4 and contemplating a fourth surgery

So, the score this morning was 186.4. My weight has been bouncing in a tight range between 184,4 and 186.4 for some two weeks now. Ad meanwhile, my strength has been increasing considerably.

I can now do the Kettlebell Halo with a 45 pound canon ball. A couple of days ago, I dead-lifted 215 for two reps. I also pulled down 190 for a single rep, and military pressed 110 for 2 reps. I really should have gone for three. I'm doing 225 today. The last time I bench pressed, I got 215 for a single rep. I should have attempted a second, but I did not have a spotter, and I didn't want to wind up like Stafon Johnson.

Regarding squats, I am being careful.

I have only been squatting with the Kettlebells, as a part of the face the wall squad. This is a technique where you take 1 large kettlebell, or a pair of smaller ones, position the tips of your toes no more than 5 inches from the wall, and proceed to squat. This forces you to bend your knees and lower your butt, rather than lean forward. Leaning is cheating. If you bend your back while facing the wall, you will smash your nose. You just can't do it. This is the way to develop ideal form in the squat.

Incidently, I am using a Rubbermade storage box (slightly shorter than my knees) to measure the depth of my squat. This is what some people call box-squats. The objective is to chose a box slightly shorter than your knees, place it immediately behind you during the squat, and make sure your butt makes contact when you squat. In this way, you will hit the ideal 90 degree angle; no more, and no less.

Last time around, I grabbed a pair of 20kg kettlebells, cleaned them, held them in the front-squat position, and squatted 12 reps. It was good. The next day, I was mildly sore in all the right spots. Tonight, I am doing a pair of 24kg kettlebells. This will be very good.

Remember what the comrades say: A 45 pound Kettlebell is a lot heavier than a 45 pound dumbbell. That's because the little bastard is alive and squirming in your hand. It will bite your wrists also. Lifting that Kettlebell requires much greater concentration and stabilizer activities. It's very dynamic.

With all that said, I am facing a fourth potential surgery event. My injured shoulder is not recovering properly. I still feel winces of sharp pain in the right shoulder. My right hand is numb all the time. It is as if someone shot Procaine into the first three fingers of my right hand. Numbness comes and goes intermittently in my left hand.

This develops to a critical level when I lay down and sleep at night. I frequently wake up in the middle of the night, and early in the morning with numb tingling sensations killing my arms. It begins to go away when I get up and work the Kettlebells. As I mentioned before, it never goes away completely.

This does not seem to be circulation related. My skin stays pink. The flesh is usually warm. It might be cold in exceptionally cold surroundings, but that doesn't make my hands any different than those belonging to anyone else. This has something to do with the nervous system. I believe it is a pinched nerve in my right shoulder.

There does seem to be some evidence of inflammation. I received a size 10.5 Saffire blue ring as a birthday gift this past September. It was away too big for my ring finger. It sloshed around on my hand quite a bit. Now it fits perfectly. It's a little hard to take off. I did not have it re-sized. How in the world has my finger grown so much? Maybe its just inflammation?

My Chiropractor has done a series of 6 adjustments to my back and neck. So far, no dice. He believes that a protruding disk somewhere between my 3rd and 5th cervical vertebrae is the culprit. If true, I may be going in for a neck surgery like Peyton Manning.

One way or another, it looks like I am going in for surgery. I have decided I cannot live like this. It is becoming debilitating. I am fatigued and exhausted through the day due to a lack of good sleep. I have to fix this.

We'll see what Dr. Bachner has to say about it. An MRI on my wrists, shoulder and neck are in order.

RIP Chester McGlockton

I first heard the news about Chester McGlockton yesterday on Hacksaw Lee Hamilton's radio show during the noontime hour.  I should have blogged about it last night.

I remember the day McGlockton was drafted by the Raiders like it was yesterday.  He was drafted by the Raiders out of Clemson in 1992, the same year the Colts selected Steve Etman #1 out of Washington and the same year my Rams selected Sean Gilbert #2 out of Pitt.  Whilst Gilbert was a dominating performer for a few years with my Rams, I never got over the fact that the Raiders got a better man; and lower. I am certain the Colts never got over this fact either.

McGlocketon was one of a series of giant men who came off the Clemson defensive line.  That lineage included the famous Refrigerator Perry of the Chicago Bears.  He was elected to four Pro-Bowls and was All-Pro three times.  Later, he played for Kansas City, and eventually became a defensive coach at Stanford University during their recent run of success.

McGlockton was a September 16, 1969 Virgo baby, 3 years and two weeks younger than me.  Hard to believe he is dead already.  During much of his life, he weighed around 335 pounds.  I was around 330 at the top of my weight, but much shorter.  McGlockton was not as lucky as I.  McGlockton struggled with obesity-related diabetes through much of his adult life.

At some point, he had the LapBand procedure done to try to deal with his weight and diabetes.  He lost 60 pounds, but evidently, it was too little too late.  I was not regarded as pre-diabetic before having the Roux-en-Y procedure done, and now I never will be.

It is very unfortunate that Chester got some bad medical advise.  Whilst losing a bit of weight can help diabetes, it is not a kill-shot for the malady.  Roux-en-Y is considered the kill-shot for the malady.  I wish he had known.  He might still be alive today.  It has been reported that Chester died of diabetes related illnesses.

My buddy and immediate supervisor suffers from advancing diabetes.  Although he is a little guy, and far from overweight, his doctors have spoken to him about having Roux-en-Y.  Like all of us, he is terrified of the procedure.  It is not easy to lay down on the stretcher and allow them to anesthetize you for a gut-repiping job when you have no immediate threat of death.  Believe me, I know.  I had to do it.

I hope Kapil will have the procedure.