2011 NFL Season, Week 15 Results

Week 15... a week that will live in infamy.  A week of disgusting upsets.  Consequently, I had my worst week of the year at 7-8.  A loosing record for Christ's sake!  This never happens to me!  If it is any consolation, the dudes at ESPN didn't fare much better than I did.

I guess you can argue that the meek inherited the league (for one week) but now we must suffer all manner of rubbish discourse about whether the Chargers are actually the strongest team in the AFC.  We also have to suffer the remonstrations of Patriot bleeders who think the great pretenders of 2011 are the strongest team in the AFC.  'Taint so.

I want to make two things perfectly clear:

1. No learned, responsible, knowledgeable evaluator of the NFL expected the Chargers to be a powerhouse this season.  [Don't wave Michael Irvin around either; he was just being loyal to his old coach.]  Why?  Because they are not a powerhouse in 2011.  They have not been a powerhouse this season.  They've been chumps for the most part.  This is because of the odious actions of their GM A.J. Smith and their weak coaching staff.
2. The Patriots are dead meat in the playoffs.  I'm talking about a quick and easy out in the first round again.  They are going to be in and out like a pinche vato.  The Patriots are the great pretenders of the NFL.  You wanna crown their ass?  Then crown them, but they are who I think they are.  That's why their opponents should take the damn field.

I'm disgusted.

My brother from another mother, Kurt Warner, laid the jinx down on Green Bay during NFL Game Day Morning Edition on the NFL Network.  "The only way this team drops a game is if they all have that proverbial one-bad-game; the game where everyone comes out flat", said Warner.  He was a prophet and didn't know it.  The Packers came out and did precisely that, losing to a team they had absolutely no business losing too.

Pop the corks in Miami.  You remain the only undefeated team in the modern history of the league.  I am disappointed for the Pack.  I thought they would do it.  One loss won't stop them from going back-to-back, tho.

I don't know which was worse, the Patriots up-ending my Broncos, or the Chargers laying a once-in-a-blue-moon beat-down on the Ravens.  Don't read anything into it, art critics.  This performance is never again to be repeated.  Stick a fork in the Chargers, they are now done for the season.

At the end of the day, the Ravens will be the AFC Champs.  Broncos versus Ravens in Baltimore for the AFC title.

2011 NFL Season, Week 15 Predictions

There has been a substantial degree of unpredictability and noise in the system over the past two weeks.  We are encountering turbulence.  We are seeing some inconsistency from contenders, upsets from low-dogs, and even some remarkable perseverance from on contender.  That would be the Houston Texans.

If Jim Harbaugh were not a lock for NFL Coach of the year, I would say Gary Kubiak is the man.

Anyhow, this is the best I can do for Week 15.  I have a queezy feeling in stomach about the following games:

1. Cowboys @ Bucs:  The Cowboys are doing their December Swoon thing again.
2. Dolphins @ Bills:  Predicting which tomato can will show up for work on Sunday is always difficult.
3. Panthers @ Texans:  Super Cam is coming to town.  The Texans have been surviving everything this season, so I am going to roll with them. However, Super Cam represents a sizable, credible threat.
4. Jets @ Eagles:  The Eagles are the NFL team that has pissed me off more than any other this season. If I was a betting man, I would have lost millions on them by now.  I cannot fathom when these little fuckers are going to get up and play, and when they won't.  Inconsistent and unpredictable dirty bastards...
5. Patriots @ Broncos:  This is the game of the week.  I heard Jim Rome prophesying in the Spirit on Friday.  He declared that if the Patriots got out to a lead, failed to put the Broncos down, and Tebow rallies them one more time, the Internet is going to break.  Nothing will contain the tidal wave of response.  Yup!  That's right.  The Internet is going down on Sunday evening.  Prepare for a huge outage of the World Wide Web.
6. Steelers @ 49ers:  Are the 49ers in a swoon?  With Roethlisberger play despite his numerous injuries?  There are a lot of uncertainties in this game.  One thing I know:  Roethlisberger is hurt, and you can't run on the 49ers in their house.

All I want for Christmas is to see the Broncos beat down the Patriots

...with savagery and ferocity!

Oh what a bleak season this would be for me if it were not for Tim Tebow and the Broncos.  This would be the winter of my discontent.  However, the story unfolding in Denver has made it glorious summer, and all the clouds lowered upon my house, in deep bosom of the ocean buried.

It's week 14 this week, and the Broncos will host the Bears.  However, week 15 is coming, and the Patriots will visit the Broncos in Denver on week 15.  We should not overlook the Bears, but remember, this is a team that could only muster 3 points against the Chiefs.  I guess that is still three more points than my Rams scored.

Congradulations, Coach Fox!  You are the beneficiary of my Christmas wishes this holiday season.  All I want for Christmas is to see your Broncos Godzilla-press-slam the New England Patriots.  Give the following facts,

1. Robust, powerful defense.
2. A vicious straight-ahead running attack with Willis McGahee
3. Tim Tebow getting his passing confidence back.
4. Your franchise's remarkable and continued success in the 2 minute drill

 I see no reason why you shouldn't stick it to them good.  I want to see a repeat of Shannon Sharpe calling the President's office with a request for military intervention.  Why?  Because the Broncos are killing the Patriots.  Go for the jugular!  Don't call off the dogs!

Incidentally, a quick trivia question for you: Who was the top rated passer (by QBR) in the NFL on week 13 on the 2011 NFL Season? Nope, it wasn't Aaron Rodgers. It was Tim Tebow.  Aaron had a QBR of 106.159, which is fantastic, by the way.  On the other hand, Tebow shot 158.19.  He was a fraction away from the cap.  He almost had a perfect game.

I told you he could pass.  Beware:  Tim is getting his passing confidence back.  Y'all are in trouble now.

Game 14 2009

All 32 teams in the NFL played their 14th game this week. It was a hard week for my anointed teams. As you recall I picked the following teams in the preseason:

1. Colts (won--barely)
2. Dolphins (lost to the Titans)
3. Saints (lost to the Cowboys)
4. Packers (lost to the Steelers)

This wasn't the end of the struggles. The Cardinals had to fight to beat the Lions. It looked like they were going to crush them early, but then the Lions came back. The Vikings, a team I have never bandwaggoned with in 2009, dropped an ugly stinker in Carolina. Of the solid playoff teams, only the Eagles made a solid effort and won well.

Worst of all, my Rams got up on their hind legs and fought the good fight against the Texans, but they failed to win. Maybe my Rams were offended by my suggestion that they have packed it in for the year. They decided to fight before finally packing it in. Once again, I am extremely pleased with our outstanding defense. Once again, I am utterly horrified by our pathetic offense, and our inability to score points. We need a serious offensive overhaul, just like the one we did between 1998 and 1999.

You could make an argument that this weekend was only kind to 3 playoff teams:

1. The Chargers (they won, and the Broncos lost)
2. The Cardinals (they won, and the 49ers lost)
3. The Colts (they won again, and they are the only undefeated team in the league)

I would tend to agree with Jamie Dukes, regarding the New Orleans Saints: This loss is a blessing in disguise. The Saints have been winning thrillers lately, instead of delivering all-out beat-downs, the way they once were. Now they took a beating at the hands of Dallas. I do agree with the notion that this will give them a renewed and refreshed focus in practice. They now know that they are not immortals. They know they can be beaten They know they need to improve during these two weeks before entering the playoffs.

A friend of mine, who is a 49er fan expressed a similar thought when he said: "I agree with Bill Walsh's philosophy: Let them loose 1 and only 1." This can have a focal effect on a championship caliber team.

Also, the loss really didn't hurt the Saints at all. The Vikings turned right around and dropped an ugly game to the Panthers. One more victory locks up home-field advantage through the NFC tournament.