So what is being predicted for the iTablet

What follows is a hard and fast summary of pundit words regarding the upcoming release of the Apple iTable on Wednesday. No attempt at attribution will be made.

The Apple iTable is a new portable platform for media consumption and communication. It is framed within the body of a 10 inch touch sensitive LCD screen. You will need to learn a lot of gestures to make it go. The iTablet will do everything the iPod Touch does, but it will add the following:

1. The ability to enjoy high resolution media.
2. The ability to take high resolution snapshots
3. A webcam that will enable video teleconferencing
4. Automatic support for a local wireless-N hub.
5. The ability to plug into an Ethernet gigabit hub.
6. The ability to truly read PDFs and eBooks of various formats.
7. The price will be $999.95 USD
   

This ends the summary of the punditry.

Such a machine would be impressive, but I don't know that it would be world changing. As Leo LaPorte has said, if Apple doesn't surprise everybody, this announcement will be a failure. They are going to have to more than anybody expects if they want to change the technological landscape again.

Technological progress... this Wednesday?

So some people believe the world is going to change on Wednesday. Apple has whupped them up into a frenzy. It's a downright 2nd Coming of the Lord revival meeting among certain members of the Cult.

For the record, we should remember that Apple was not technology company during the middle epoch of it's history. It was a religious cult like Scientology, or the People's Temple, or the Jehovah's Witnesses. It was that kind of thing. There are many who believe that they have not stopped being a cult yet. Some say they have. Actual books have been published with the title "The Cult of the Mac" and they feature photos of people carving the Apple Logo into their skin, cutting the Apple logo out of their hair (showing the scalp), and tattooing various corporate slogans all over their bodies (like 'I'm a Mac'). These are some sick puppies. Absolute slaves to a corporation. They chose this path of self-mutilating slavery as well.

I will be kind, and say that Apple is trying not to be a Cult these days. Like the Mormons, they want reform.

There is no doubt that Apple changed the world of technology at least three times. The Apple II was the world first widely adopted personal computer. The Macintosh popularized interface technology stolen... er... copied... from Xerox's Parc and Smalltalk. The iPod one-upped the Diamond Rio by providing a full-scale hard disk, and software even a moron could use. There is little doubt that the world changed on these three occasions. Ideas others had been fumbling about with were finally encarnated in usable forms everybody could grasp. That's when the concept took off.

It should be noted that Apple's reputation for innovation is vastly overstated. Let's just say Steven Jobs was never introduced to an idea he didn't invent.

So what the fuck is happening on Wednesday anyhow? Why the hell is there a Come to Steve... er... Jesus Revival being held by all the Apple cultlings right now? Why are they staying vigilant for the coming of the Lord?

Apple is going to introduce a Tablet computer on Wednesday. A lot of people have been fumbling around with the concept of a portable computer with a touch sensitive LCD screen. Dell & Compaq have been doing it since 2003. Still haven't made much of spash yet. There have been things like iPod touches, and iPhones, but they aren't physically large enough to be considered anything like a tablet. Sony and Amazon have been fooling around with eReaders like the Kindel. That's interesting stuff, but it ain't just quite right yet.

Supposedly, Apple is about to innovate big again. This tablet will be tablet 1.0. The first tablet that can actually be called a tablet. This will be the first tablet done right. This will be the tablet that makes owning a tablet imperative. This will be the first tablet everybody has to have. To the slaves, Apple is declaring that this is year 0 and no tablet has ever existed before. To those in the know, they are pretty frank that they have conducted a lot of user studies of these forerunners and figured out why they don't work so well for everybody who isn't interested yet.

Well, I am all in favor of technological progress. If you show me a computer which is portable, has balls, a good battery life, a rich high-res color screen, works like a good reader, allows me to do mobile video phone, I will certainly buy it. However, I refuse to join the cult on principle. I will never be a Cultling like the slaves who tattoo Apple logos on their skin.