I ain't feelin' you, Gemini

So for those who don't know, it's Gemini season. All the Gemini boys and girls are having their birthdays right about now. I have been carefully scanning the birthday lists for all the notable women born under the constellation of Gemini, and there are some. Nevertheless, I have come to a conclusion: I ain't feeling you.

I had some notable Gemini celebrity crushes once upon a time. The most notable were Stevie Nicks and Steffi Graf. Morena Baccarin drove me bat-shit crazy during the days of Firefly/Serenity. I was mad for her. According to the computer, the feeling would be mutual in Morena's case. I have splendid scores vs. Morena.

1. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: 259

2. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 343

3. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 168

4. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 49

5. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 232

6. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence: 0

7. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 120

8. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 109

However, this is a very special case. Morena has a remarkable amount of Taurus and Virgo in her chart. She's more Earth than Air. Her Mars and Venus are conjuncted in Taurus, and this is what makes her such an utter knock-out. Frankly, it don't get no better than that. That's as good as it ever gets for any woman who would like to be a sex symbol. She also has a Virgo moon, which means she is apt to go after a Virgo guy. Taken together, the combination of Virgo moon with Venus & Mars in Taurus indicates that this is a very emotionally, romantically and sexually harmonious woman. She is self-consistent, unconfused about what she wants, and therefore uncomplicated.

Wow... talk about a 500 foot tape-measure grand-slam home run...

Most of my Gemini scores are not so thrilling. That is because few Geminis can match up with that combo of features.

According to Sirus, my best of the best Gemini score falls on 6/16/1982. The score is 324. This pales in comparison to my top Aries score of 537/538. It also pales in comparison to my top Pisces score of 532. It also pales in comparison to my top Aquarius score of 448. It also pales in comparison to my top Capricorn (409), top Leo (396) and top Virgo (390) scores. I hate to mention it, but I also have higher Sagittarius (373), Libra (371), Taurus (367) and Scorpio (337) scores.

Folks, Gemini can only beat-out Cancer versus my chart. I find this fact very strange. Cancer is always regarded as a premiere match up for Virgo. Gemini is usually regarded as much better than either Aries or Sagittarius for a Virgo. Gemini would certainly be considered better for a Virgo than Aquarius, under normal circumstances.

Once again, the fire in my chart upsets the apple cart of general synastry. You don't normally find so much Aries and Leo in a Virgo boy. This is antagonizing to gentile and maternal Cancer. It also antagonizes the placid and romantic Taurus women.

The presence of Leo and Aries in my chart should be great for Gemini. The Mercurial nature of Virgo should be intriguing for them as well. Still, the computer says it ain't so. For whatever reasons, I don't score that well that often vs. Gemini. Is there any truth to these scores? Do I feel these scores are right or wrong?

I hate to say it, but they are looking more and more reasonable every day. As each day of Gemini passes, I see a new list of birthdays for famous females. Very, very few catch my eye, tickle my fancy, or interest me in any way. Sorry to say this girls, but you ain't strong enough to carry the jock-straps of the Capricorn and Pisces girls. Both of those groups have serious knock-out power.

During Pisces season, I could loose hours examining the photos of Pisces girls, reading their bios, looking at their facebook pages, etc. I had lost time experiences, and couldn't believe how the time flew by. During this Gemini season, I have hardly devoted much time to studying Gemini girls. I'm just not interested.

At work, I know a bunch of Geminis. Our MIS/IT Director is a Gemini. He is a personal buddy of mine. Aaron Graham, Former USC linebacker and current hardware guru of our company, just happens to be a Gemini. These are good friends. However, a buddy is one thing. A girlfriend is quite a different kettle of fish.

I happen to know three women at work who are very flirty these days, and they are all Geminis. In none of these cases would I feel comfortable flirting back. There are two reasons.

First, there are serious question about the sincerity of a Gemini flirt. These are the most flirty women in the Zodiac, and they are very seldom serious about it. They usually don't mean anything by it. They just flirt to avoid boredom at work. This is just a way to while away the hours pleasantly. My sister's BFF happens to be just such a Gemini flirt.

Second, to quote Aliens, I got a bad feeling about this drop. Call me foolish, call me irresponsible, call me a dreamer, but I get a bad, bad feeling anytime I consider taking cheese that has been carefully placed on the mouse trap's trigger. I have a strong foreboding sense of dread that nothing good can come from it. It just won't work out.

At the risk of sounding like a woman, I can't explain why. These certainly seem like nice and pleasant women. There is nothing wrong with them in particular. Nevertheless, I was convinced--before I knew what they were--that making any move would be a bad move. I still feel that way.

I had to hesitate before I wrote this, but I guess I will spit it out. Gemini is a masculine sign. Furthermore, it is the sign most highly associated with both male and female bisexuality. As I study photo after photo of Gemini women, I see a pronounced trend towards a hard, thick, masculine jaw-line. Angelina Jolie is not the only one. This is rather typical. Many of these women do seem masculine in some way or another.

If you compare and contrast this versus Pisces and Capricorn women, there just ain't no contest. The Pisces and Capricorn women are far and away more feminine and therefore alluring.

I would really love to pull blood samples from 100 Gemini, Capricorn and Pisces females. I would love to test and compare their testosterone levels. I would bet you dollars to donuts that the Gemini women will have twice the level of testosterone found in the blood of Capricorn and Pisces females.

Some of you might think that was a great thing. Not me, man. I like my women femme.

The Jyotishia system and Ophiuchus

The Shocking Discovery

Last week, the internet news was a-blazin' with the sudden discovery of a 13th constellation name Ophiuchus, the serpent bearer, or more accurately the snake messenger. Purportedly, this was the smoking gun covered in finger prints that proved western astrology is bullishit.

It may all well be bullshit, but this is neither a new discovery, nor the smoking gun. As I have known for some 8-9 months, there is the sidereal zodiac, and then there is the zodiac. There is the Greek or Western system, and there is the Eastern Hindu system. The Hindus have had a 13 constellation system for some 2,500 years. It is called the Jyotishia system.

The news, so recently discovered, reads more like a critique of Greek mythology from the viewpoint of Hindu mythology than anything else. You know... I can critique Christianity in terms of Islam, or Islam in terms of Buddhism. Based on my training in Athro and my experiences in theological debate, I can tell you this goes no where fast. This is a sure-fire recipe for a waste of time.

It turns out that the Western Astrologers have been aware of the 13th constellation for a long time. Several thousand years, at least. They preferred to standardize on 12 roughly equal constellations because they believe it is more symmetrical and yields more accurate predictions.

Who is right? Are the Greeks right? Are the Hindus right? Is anyone right? Will anyone be able to tell?

For the record, most of the good astrology software packages on the market will do the Jyotishia system for you in addition to the Greek and the Chinese system.

Just a little diddy about rivaling systems pointing in the same direction

As you know, I used Kepler 7.2 and a batch of test data to generate a series of calculations regarding my personal synastry with all women born between 1966-1995. Based on that test data, I determined that a theoretical female born on 3/12/1986 9:00pm in Los Angeles California was the most optimal mate for me; although I am not entirely crazy about Pisces. Just to refresh your memory, here are the numbers again.

Category Totals

1. Romantic and Sexual Attraction: 527
2. Similarity of Interests and Temperament: 229
3. Mutual Success and High Achievement: 129
4. Problem Solving, Communication, and Mutual Understanding: 329
5. Mutual Kindness, Friendliness, Pleasantness, and Peace: 309
6. Aggressiveness, Competition, Power, Success, or Violence: 332
7. Adventurousness, Surprises, Disturbances: 97
8. Shared Creativity, Imagination, and Inspiration: 136

Given above are your compatibility scores in 8 different categories. A score of 100 is average. A score above 100 indicates that the trait is strong, and a score below 100 indicates that the trait is weak. More specifically, you can interpret the scores as follows:

Above 150 is very high. This trait is VERY strong!
125 to 150 is above average. The trait is strong.
115 to 125 is slightly above average. The trait is slightly strong.
85 to 115 is average.
75 to 85 is slightly below average. The trait is slightly weak.
50 to 75 is weak.
50 or lower is VERY weak!

So what in the world would Jyotishia have to say about this match up?

At the moment, I am not aware of a Jyotishian Synastry calculator as sophisticated as the ones the Greeks have developed. Still, based on the scanty information I have unconvered, Dave and La-La still look like a match.

According to the Jyotishian system, I am a Leo, not a Virgo. That's a funny thing too, as my last name is Leon, and I have often felt more like a Lion than a Virgin. According to the Jyotishian system, La-La is an Aquarian.

The interesting thing is that Leo and Aquarius are 180 degree opposites in the Jyotishian system, just as they are in the Greek system. As is the case in Greek astrology, Jyotishia proclaims a strong attraction between and complementarity of opposites. They fit together like Yin and Yang. Most of the Jyotishian interpretations of La-La's chart and my chart point out scores of match-points.

If a Jyotishian synastry calculator were to be invented soon, I am fairly sure my scores with La-La would remain extremely high.

The Chinese System

Under the Chinese system of astrology, I am a Yang Fire Horse. Yang Fire Horses have a tendency to be Mavericks. We run solo. This year of 2011 is the year of the Yin Metal Rabbit. In the year of the Yin Metal Rabbit, Yang Fire Horses will find renewed pressure to find a lasting relationship. The recommendation to all single Yang Fire Horses is this: Find a Tiger to play with in 2011.

This naturally begs the question: Who the hell is a Tiger anyhow? As it turns out, Wikipedia has a very nice piece on the Chinese Zodiac, and it tells me that there are two years of the Tiger that might present a good option for me: 1975 and 1986. It just so happens that 1986 was the year of the Yang Fire Tiger. La-La just happens to be a Yang Fire Tiger.

Is it all a co-inky-dinky?