Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A short list of new, post-mortem Michael Jackson Jokes

So, I've done some hunting, and I managed to come up with the following short list of new post-mortem Michael Jackson jokes. There is a lot of rubbish floating around, but I managed to find the following gems in the rough. Some required some polishing and cutting. I promise to add to this list as new goodies come on the market.

What's the difference between Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson?
Farrah slept with Majors.

When Farrah Fawcett arrived in Heaven, God was such a big fan He decided to grant her one wish. She asked that all the children in the world could be safe. So God dispatched the Angel of death to get Michael Jackson.

Reports of Michael Jackson having a heart attack are incorrect. He was found in the children’s ward having a stroke. He had the heart attack after he found out Boyz2Men was not a delivery service.

50 children have selected to identify the Michael Jackson's dead body. These children were selected because they all have first-hand experience of seeing Michael Jackson stiff. They said he had not been this stiff since Macauly Culkin spent the night at the Neverland Ranch.

How can you fit the Jackson 5 into a small car these days?
Two in the Front, Two In the Back, and Michael in the ashtray...

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!! Casper the friendly ghost was just molested!!!!!!!

Did you hear all that thunder this past weekend ?
That was Elvis Presley whooping Michael Jackson's azz for marrying his daughter.

Michael Jackson's will specified that he should be cremated. The environmentalists immediately intervened and said they couldn't cremate him, because when you burn plastic you release toxic fumes. So they decided to bury Michael, but the environmentalists intervened again and said you can't bury plastic because it doesn't biodegrade. Someone proposed that they recycle him and turn him into Legos so that kids could play with his little parts instead of the other way around. Finally, they decided that Michael will be turned into grocery bags so he can remain white,plastic,and dangerous for kids to play with.

All horse jockeys will wear black armbands out of respect for Michael Jackson, who mounted and rode more three year olds than anyone in living memory.

Michael Jackson actually died of food poisoning. He had some 10 year old nuts and a five-year old wiener before he died.