For those of you stuck under a rock, obsessed with the NFL draft, the Jay Cutler drama, the NCAA Basketball Tournament, or the bad economy, there was another major story in March 2009. It turns out that world media piracy scored it's biggest kill ever. They jacked an advanced working copy of the new Super Hero blockbuster X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Of course, this XVID went straight to Bit Torrent, and from there to millions of kids around the world.
The work was unfinished at the time this cut was made. None of the photo-realistic 3d visual effects (you can expect to see soon) are in the bootleg cut. Super simple 3d previz graphics are in place. DOS video game air planes fly across polygon grid sky, etc. This is hysterical to the typical viewer. You can also see the wires & cables attached to every character as he or she leaps across the warehouse, office, road, canyon, etc. Wire removal is one of the most basic and important elements of action film effects these days.
As you may have gathered already, I did see a copy of this film. Didn't manage to get all the way through it. Time was pressing. I needed to get home, and I was board. The interest wore off rather quickly. After the novelty of seeing a bad copy one month early wore thin, there was not much reason to watch it. I refrained from reviewing the bootleg here, as I didn't finish it, and it is quite unfinished.
I wrote to some friends and told them the product was bad. I did caution them that this work was unfinished, but with such hammy segues between critical plot-points, I couldn't see how this work might be fixed up. A friend of mine inside the industry cautioned me not to draw any conclusion just yet. He informed me that there are emergency editors in the world who are paid millions of dollars to fix-up would-be blockbusters teetering on the brink. With some tweaking, the final cut can be dramatically improved. He reminded me that the first cut of Star Wars is now a legendary fiasco among film students. Everything was patched up by D-Day.
I respect this guy, so I heard him out, but I had a hard time believing that such an effort might fix this film. With such fundamental mistakes in writing and direction, there is only so much magic an emergency editor can weave.
Anyway, the reviews of Wolverine look pretty nasty right now. A preview was granted to a limited number of friendly critics. According to Rottentomatoes.com, the number of critics there was just 17. Right now the count is 9-8. 9 say it is good. 8 say it is bad. Reading the 9 positive reviews will raise a lot of eyebrows. When the review is positive, it is not very good. When it is negative, it is pretty bad. Based on a reading of these reviews, it would seem that there are some pissed off fanboys, and some lukewarm fanboys.
What will happen when the non-fanboys begin to review this movie? Right now Wolverine is pulling 53% on the T-Meter, and the strength score. I would expect that to fall right through the floor as hostile reviewers like Rex Reed begin to check in. Expect this movie's T-Meter to finish in the 30s.
I have to say, I am most highly displeased. I am a big fan of comic books. This is the second bust in a row. Worse still, this is a movie that should not have been a bust. It could have and should have been every bit as good as Iron Man or the Incredible Hulk. Wolverine is not like the Watchmen. We are not talking about a vastly overrated piece of shit story here. We're talking about one of the most favored characters in Marvel history. They also have one of the most favored stars in Hollywood for this one. What I see here is a missed opportunity for a terrific blockbuster. Another one goes down the drain.
So, Dave, if you were to put a fine point on it, just what is wrong with this movie? It is incredibly cliche. You have a good brother. You have an evil brother. The two of them walk through life together, back-to-back until finally one day, the evil brother's evil becomes to terrible, and the good brother parts company with him. Of course this means war, and the bad brother must have some revenge. Now the good brother must kill the bad brother.
Folks, Ballywood makes 20 movies like this every single year. I am not kidding you either. They litterally make 20 of these movies every single year. It is an old archetypal story. This was just too damn similar to other basic stories I have seen. It wore thin very fast once I identified the anchient pattern of the work. Everything was utterly predictable. No surprises here folks. You knew the end from the begining. This is why I didn't bother to finish it.
