The 1990 Cowboys: Water and Earth

So our series on the elemental compatibility of the great dynasties has now reached the 1990s and that means the Dallas Cowboys. For me, this was a good one. I enjoyed these Cowboys. They were comprised of a number of 1966 babies, like myself, and they oppressed the 49ers something fierce.

Don't let anybody con you. The Cowboys got the better of that rivalry, and it wasn't all that close. That is why they were the team of the decade and the 49ers were not.

I enjoyed the 1990s Cowboys for a lot of reasons. Probably the most important was the black-eye they dealt to the West Coach offense. The Cowboys brought back the 4-3 defense after an era when the 3-4 was completely dominant. Their fast 4-3 defense was more than able to control the 49ers very, very powerful WCO.

Further, the Cowboys played a pretty conventional I-Formation Erhardt-Perkins offense. They ran on 1st & 2nd down most of the time, and they passed on 3rd down. The plays and the play calling were simple. They were just so talented nobody could stop them. They beat the hell out of their opponents in their one-to-one match ups. Even though the offense was basic and simple, it seemed like a flying circus because it often resulted in explosive plays.

I found these guys easy to like. That is probably because they were primarily Water and Earth guys, perfectly compatible with a Virgo guy like me. If you are a Virgo, you can't help but be proud that the Water and Earth alliance whupped the Air boys of San Francisco. No wonder these teams didn't like each other.

I find it interesting that Troy Aikman is a Scorpio and Michael Irvin is a Pisces, and these two are still best buddies to this day. Scorpio and Pisces is one of the greatest match ups on the synastry board. Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor were a Scorpio Pisces combo. So to were John Gotti and Sammy the Bull Gravano.

I find it more interesting that Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith (Taurus) are 180 degree opposites. As you know, opposites attract. Taurus and Scorpio just might have the most powerful oppositional attraction of them all. These are both very fixed and stubborn signs, so if they agree in the beginning, they will always agree with each other.

It was my impression that there was never even the slightest crack in the unity of Aikman and Smith. These two were teammates and battle buddies for life, period. The end of the story. You couldn't divide them. There was no need to mention it. It was just understood that these two were on the same sheet of music.

It's also very interesting that Alvin Harper is a Cancer and Jay Novacek is a Scorpio. Troy had excellent timing and chemistry with both of them. So we have one each of the three water signs in the reciever corp: Michael Irvin (Pisces), Alvin Harper (Cancer) and Jay Novacek (Scoprio). That's a perfect trio.

I also find it interesting that this chemistry this receiver corp began to break down when Alvin Harper left and Aquarius Kevin Williams showed up.

The one big exception is Moose Johnston. Of course, the Moose is an Aquarius. Nevertheless, he was an instrumental part of this offense, and a highly regarded teammate. This must have been a case of special affinity.

This entire unit was under the command of an Taurus offensive coordinator by the name of Norv Turner. Scorpio Troy Aikman has so much regard for this particular Taurus that he asked Norv to introduce him at his Hall of Fame induction. This was at a time when Norv's rep was at a fairly low ebb. That's oppositional attraction folks. This is also the stubborn loyalty of the fixed signs.

So I have an error correction and retraction to print, dear readers. As it turns out, the Jimmy Johnson who coached the Cowboys is a Leo, not a Cancer as I originally thought. As it happens, there are a lot of Jimmy Johnsons in world of sports and football, and one of them is a Cancer. I find it interesting that Terry Bradshaw's best buddy is a Leo.

Obviously there is a lot of affinity between us Virgos and 'dem Leos; a lot more than I originally suspected. I've been learning a lot about this lately.

The fact that Jimmy Johnson is a fiery fire sign guy sheds much light on why Troy Aikman was so hesitant to play for this guy, why he never fully trusted Jimmy, and why that relationship never really blossomed.

The composition of the offensive line is interesting. It's a mixture of Fire and Earth. Fire and Earth do mix with some difficulty. This is what is known as a ceramic mixture. It does work better if you get side-by-sides like Leo and Virgo, or Sagittarius and Capricorn.

This was a fantastic offensive line. This composition underscores the fact that the Offensive Line is a separate unit from the skill positions, and some mixture is permissible here.

So how do you turn things around?

Truth be told, we know exactly how you turn a football team around and make them champions. It has been done plenty of times over the course of the past 51 years. We know how it is done.

1. Paul William "Bear" Bryant takes over Alabama in 1958. Truth be told, they were pretty terrible at the time. He runs brutal, grueling, lethal force training camps and practices. A bunch of guys quit. He attracts only the toughest, nastiest, most ambitious men with chips on their shoulders and something to prove. It takes him till 1961 to complete the turn around, but he wins 6 national championships over the next 20 years. During the 1960s, Alabama is the toughest team on your schedule. They were what Miami was in the 1980s and what USC has been in the 2000s.
2. Glen Edward "Bo" Schembechler takes over Michigan in 1969. Michigan had a glorious past, and a dreadful present. He runs brutal, grueling, lethal force training camps and practices. A bunch of guys quit. Bo nails a big sign over the exit of the locker room. It says "Those who stay will be champions." It's still there. Nobody touches that sign. That is Bo's emblem and mark on the program. He attracts only the toughest, nastiest, most ambitious men with chips on their shoulders and something to prove. He wins 13 Big 10 conference championships. He should have had a couple of national championships.
3. James William 'Jimmy' Johnson takes over the Dallas Cowboys in 1989. They are the worst team in the NFL. They are drafting first, and not because they made a trade. He runs brutal, grueling, lethal force training camps and practices. A bunch of guys quit. He cuts a bunch more. Jimmy flushes the toilet. Guys who don't love the sport and who are just collecting their large paychecks are thrown out on their faces. He attracts only the toughest, nastiest, most ambitious men with chips on their shoulders and something to prove. Jimmy's Cowboys win 3 Super Bowls, despite tremendous competition from the Redskins, 49ers, Giants, Packers and Bills. They win the 3rd one without Jimmy... in spite of pretty terrible coaching.
4. Richard Albert 'Dick' Vermeil takes over the Rams in 1997. They were considered the worst team of the decade by many. The Bengals would eventually win that dreadful distinction because the Rams would win the Super Bowl in 1999. The Rams are drafting first, and not because they made a trade. He runs brutal, grueling, lethal force training camps and practices. A bunch of guys quit. He cuts a bunch more. Dick flushes the toilet. Guys who don't love the sport and who are just collecting their large paychecks are thrown out on their faces. He attracts only the toughest, nastiest, most ambitious men with chips on their shoulders and something to prove. It takes him two years to do it. Only 8 men from the 1997 roster are left on 1999 roster. Guys like Issac Bruce, Kevin Carter, DeMarco Farr, and Todd Lyght are in that crew. The 1999 Rams are voted the greatest turn-around story in NFL history by a distinguished panel of experts at NFL films. The show only runs between 1999 and 2003, but we are The Greatest Show on Turf. It could have been better, but we fucked up and got rid of Vermeil.

So, as I hope you can see from these stories, there is a clear-cut path to pay-dirt. There is a well established, proven methodology for turning a team around. It has been used by most the of great coaches who triggered great turn arounds. Vince Lombardi didn't exactly flush the toilet, but he ran lethal force practices. He just had more survivors and champions on the roster than he thought he did when he started.

To the best of my knowledge, Bill Walsh is the only guy ever to turn around a team without flushing the toilet. According to rumor, he did not crush the souls of the weak in training camp. He focused on teaching & preaching precision execution. He had many of the same bums he started with on the team when he won SB16 with the 1981 49ers. Don't follow the Walsh model, as compelling as it might be. Walsh is the exception, not the rule. Follow the rule, not the exception.

College or Pro, the story is fundamentally the same. You have to get rid of the posers. You have to get rid of the fashion models who like to look good in the uniform. You have to weed out the guys like Barry Foster, who once said that he liked football but would never play for free. This is like a hooker who says "I like sex but I would never fuck for free." You fuck for the sheer joy of sex, and you play football for the sheer joy and glory of it. Money is nice, but that can't be the reason why.

Many guys like me would have gladly played for free if we could have just played for an NFL team. It is extremely irksome and vexatious to see gifted men, with real ability, who have no heart to play the game. These guys also tend to be whining divas. They are team cancers. You have to get rid of these little fuckers. No duds.

For this reason, I was greatly heartened to learn that St. Louis Rams Head Coach Steve Spagnuolo has issued warnings that he intends to kill everybody in training camp. Let the bodies hit the floor. His plan of action sounds a lot like the one Vermiel used, as documented on the America's Game 1999 Rams video.

This is good. It could take a couple of years, but Coach Spagnuolo should turn things around.

Spagnuolo tells Rams to expect tough training camp

Rams Training Camp set