The Los Angeles Rams

The Los Angeles Rams...

Ah, it has a nice ring too it. What did I tell you sometime ago? Round about the time Georgia died? Backtrack in my blog to around 2008 when I started this thing. The handwriting was on the wall.

So, just what the hell are you talking about, David?

Right now, St. Louis is downright somber. The news has spread like wildfire. Enos Stanley Kroenke is a member of the NFL's Los Angeles Stadium committee. Not only this, but he owns a big spread in Malibu, roughly 4 miles from my present location at work. Now how about that for convenient access? I'd rather be his across-the-street neighbor and general manager of the Rams. Stan, hire me. I'm good. I'll take care of this team for you.

Howard Balzar and Sam Farmer basically broke this story.

I love a few of the blog comments I have read today. Kevin in Philly mentioned this to some St. Louis people. Everyone he told immediately went silent and then said "Oh my God!" VanRam is not happy. Neither is Bernie Miklasz. I can't blame them. I was pissed when the Rams moved to St. Louis. Oh well, the Rams forged a brotherhood between us. We now have common cause.

There is many a connection missing on the way to the obvious conclusion, but we have all jumped there anyway. People can tell which way the wind is blowing. The NFL is sore that they are not a bonified player in the 2nd largest market in North America. Can you blame them? Suppose a blender company or car company had no official presence in the 2nd largest market in North America. Do you think this would be acceptable for Blendtec or Honda? No.

More over, the cost of running a team is rising high. Sam Bradford, the very man the Rams are planning to draft, may command something like $80 million with $50 million guaranteed. Stan has to pay that salary now, and make a profit. St. Louis is one of a collection of shrinking midwestern towns whose base is eroding constantly. It is going to be tough to run one of the 32 NFL franchises in the 54th largest market in North America.

Then we have the mysterious fact that Mr. Ed Roski Jr abruptly agrees to build a stadium, in Industry California with no municipal or state support, for an NFL team to be recruited later. This was the strangest news of all more than a year ago. We knew something was up. We knew something was in the offing.

So, if I was going to connect the dots, the forensic reconstruction would look like this. Georgia dies at UCLA Medical. [Yep, that's right, she came back to my beloved alma mater to die.] Stan makes all the right consoling phone calls, talks briefly with Chip about business. Stan knows Georgia's kids are going to have big-time inheritance tax problem. He give Ed Roski and Eli Broad a jingle. These are cats he met through the L.A. Stadium Committee. He tells them the time has come. It's on and on to the break of dawn. Ed buys a piece of turf in Industry. He get's his boys in industry to approve the land use. News waves start to flow.

There is a delay, Chip wants to try his hand at running the team. The IRS eventually tells Chip no, you have to sell. Chip really doesn't want to sell in the middle of the Great Recession. You should have put the team up immediately Chip. You might have squeezed off the sale before September 15, 2008. You would have gotten more money and sooner.

Chip contacts Goldman Sachs, who are now in big trouble for insider trading and manipulation. He puts the team up for sale. Kroenke decides he's going to get the Rams for a nice price. He's going to sit back and let the defeated market set the price. Shahid Khan does the work for him. Kroenke takes 60 days to plan the transfer of the Nuggets and the Avalanche to his son Josh. The deal is done.

Memo to Los Angeles: Lock up your daughters! If my buddy Rico is right, Ben Roethlisburger is coming to town. We're going to have to deal with the serial rapist.

For this reason, I will yield and accept Sam Bradford.

'Tis the laughing season

The overwhelming majority of all human beings who have passed through this veil of tears have been illiterate and innumerate. For those who don't know, this mean that they could not read write or perform the most basic arithmetic. In many cultures there are only 3 recognized numbers: One, two and many. We should also be advised that the distribution of intelligence in human populations follows the bell-curve pattern. There are some extremely stupid people, a lot of average people, some smart guys, and just a few exceptional individuals.

I'm exceptional. As such, it's always hilarious for me to read the trade deals offered up by GMs and fans alike. I'm still shocked that the Eagles traded McNabb inside the division. I still can't believe the Steelers gave Holmes away for a 5th. Stunning... just stunning. I still can't believe La Canfora's report that the Steelers would make an exploratory phone call to the Rams, asking us to consider Roethlisburger and the Steelers' first rounder for the absolute #1. Tis the season to give shit away. I still can't believe the Broncos have dismantled themselves completely. I still can't believe the Redskins are/were shopping Albert Haynesworth around for a 3rd.

With that said, the deals suggested by fans are even more preposterous... at least in some ways. I read a deal suggestion made by some Redskin fan in which the Rams should offer the Redskins the absolue #1 for Albert Haynesworth and Jason Campbell. So you get the #1 pick, and we carry out your garbage? No, no, no! You'd get the best DT in football and a proven Pro QB! Right... then why don't you keep them.

A Steeler fan was shocked by the report Jason La Canfora gave us yesterday. In all honesty, so was I. Said Steeler fan insisted that the only way the Steelers would ever deal Roethlisburger is in a big trade deal like the one Chicago gave to Denver last year. Right... So somebody is going to give you a kings random for your serial rapist... er... massive PR head ache? You are forgetting that Cutler was 3 years younger, had a smaller contract. His team put him on the block for no particularly good reason. That's what broke the deal.

This Steeler fan does not understand the rules of the pawn shop. Pawning is bad for the guy pawns.

Then a Cleveland fan suggest the Browns should deal Shawn Rodgers, their #7, and a no-name linebacker to the Rams for the absolute #1. Right... So you get the #1 pick and we carry out the garbage for you. We take your gun toting, 35 year old nose tackle, fresh off re-constructive knee surgery, a no-name linebacker, and your pick. Right...

Lest I show too much partiality to my own, let me say a word about my Rams. My Rams plan to take a frail passer, who hasn't played much in 18 months, fresh off surgical repairs to his passing shoulder, put him behind a weak line, immediately, and expect improvements. Right... Oh did I forget? He's not the top ranked athlete in the draft, and we're going to have to give him something like $80 million with maybe $50 million guaranteed. Oh, did I forget that he has only one #2 type receiver to throw at? Nice...

I'm going to come right out and tell you: That's a laughable pick. No bullshit. If any man can free his mind from the hype of ESPN and the NFL Network, he would clearly see that this is a laughable pick. How cloudy our football judgement becomes when we practice mass-media marketing by the star system.

Do you think you can do any better, Dave? Fuckin'aye! You goddamn betcha I think I can do a lot better than that... fresh out of bed in the morning... without coffee... after taking a couple of Norcos... whilst blindfolded... and hungover... with a concussion... and a common cold... and a massive arthritis attack... and no breakfast...

If you think I am filled with pessimism about where the league and my team is headed, you're right. These are some fuckin' stupid people, and I'm not kidding. There is a fine, fine line between the deals GMs offer each other and the deals fans talk about on the message boards.

Sam Bradford's 2010 season; the over/under number is 3

Las Vegas is not yet taking over/under action on Sam Bradford, but they should be. The over/under number should be 3. Three is a magic number, yes it is.

1. With what pick will Sam Bradford be selected in the 2010 draft? The over/under number is 3.
2. The week of the 2010 season where Sam Bradford gets his first NFL start: The over/under number is 3.
3. The number NFL starts before Sam Bradford suffers a season ending injury? The over/under number is 3.
4. The number of touchdown passes Sam Bradford throws before his season ending injury in 2010? The over/under number is 3.
5. The number of sacks Sam Bradford will suffer before taking his season ending injury? The over/under number is 3.

Those should be your 5 magic over/under bets on Sam Bradford, oh ye Las Vegas lines. How would I be them?

1. Under: Whether he is taken by the Rams or the Browns, Bradford will probably be the top pick.
2. Under: The Rams will throw Sam in the shark tank immediately. The Browns will start Del Homme twice and after 14 turnovers, Sam goes in.
3. Under: If the Rams select Bradford, he's going to have a tough time making it to week 3 before suffering his season ending injury in 2010. If the Browns take him, he'll have a tough time making it to week 5 before the Steelers or Ravens kill him.
4. Under: If the Rams select Bradford, he's going to have to find a little target named Donnie Avery for legit TD passes. It will be hard to squeeze off 3 of those before Sam suffers his season ending injury of 2010.
5. Over: I think Sam will be sacked more than 3 times before suffering his season ending injury of 2010. This is true regardless of whether the Rams or Browns select him.

It sucks to be Sam. I feel bad for you man. The stars are poorly configured for your near-term future. I wish you the best. I hope I am wrong. I hope you turn out to be the A.P. Offensive Rookie of the year, but I certainly cannot bet on it.

I'm certain it will not happen now

http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2010/04/11/holmgren-may-have-been-dropping-a-hint-regarding-a-possible-move-up/

http://www.globe-democrat.com/news/2010/apr/10/browns-have-extra-picks-rams-might-want-draft-trad/

Mike Florio is reporting on Twitter tweets by twitidiots. According to the latest Florio doggerel, Mike Holmgren is interpreted by Howard Balzer as saying the following. Holmgren is willing to part with his No.1, No.2 and No.3 for the absolute #1. The Rams' pick is to be used to obtain Cleveland's QB for the next 15 years: Sam Bradford.

Once again, it never happened. Balzer didn't write that. I dug up the reference piece from the Globe-Democrat, and Balzer said nothing of the kind. All of you who still doubt Florio's integrity should study the two links list above. See how close Florio's interpretation is to accurate. See whether he is extremely creative to the point of absolute distortion.

Balzer simply suggested that Cleveland has some extra picks and an interest in Sam Bradford. Their could be a deal here. I have done just as much. This doesn't mean it's going to happen. More importantly, Balzer didn't report the talks are in progress, or that the deal is going down.

Now that Florio is suggesting it, be assured it will not happen. I hope the deal does happen, but this guy has the reverse midas touch. Every scenario Florio reports on turns to shit.

Khan vs. Kroenke! Fight!

So the other ownership shoe dropped last night. Adam Schefter announced on ESPN's NFL Live that Silent Stan Kroenke has decided to exercise his contractual right of first refusal to purchase the Rams. I wanted to wait for confirming details before blogging about it. The report is correct. Enos Stan Kroenke has decided to exercise his contractual right of first refusal to purchase the remaining 60% of Ram stock he does not already own. This puts him squarely at odds with league rules and with Shahid Khan.

First the league rules.

As you all know, the league has bylaws forbidding NFL majority owners from owning a majority share in any other sports franchise in an NFL city. The rule rule used to prohibit ownership of any other pro-franchise in any city. The rule was mildly re-interpreted to allow Paul Allen {owner of the Portland Trailblazers} to purchase the Seattle Seahawks. The league owners wanted Paul Allen in the clubhouse and on the golf course. The owners wanted a league connection to the new silicone economy, and to Microsoft.

League insiders have been divided on whether Kroenke might obtain a similar wavier, and/or whether the league might be prepared to do away with this archaic rule entirely. Many believe that this rule is an archaic relic of a bygone era. Many others believe the league will not change its policy for Kroenke's sake. We are about to find out, one way or the other.

Owning both an NBA and NHL franchise in Denver should automatically disqualify Kroenke, but it just so happens he is a buddy and business partner of Pat Bowlen. Bowlen is the owner of the Denver Broncos, and co-owner of the Colorado Crush of the Arena League... along with Stan Kroenke. Insiders expect Bowlen will plead his friend's case. Pat Bowlen is a powerful owner, and he is also the theoretical aggrieved party according to the strange philosophy behind the cross-ownership rule. Given Bowlen's blessing, the deal might roll.

Several factors militate in Kroenke's favor:

1. The NFL Finance committee already announced that it doesn't like one of the several financial devices Khan intends to use to purchase the Rams.
2. Kroenke is already an insider. He has been partial owner of the Rams since the early 1990s. He has been vice chairman of the Rams' board for some time, and served on several NFL committees.
3. Kroenke has more money than Khan. Kroenke is worth an estimated $3 billion. His wife--Anne Walton, a Walmart heir--is worth $3.5 billion. Together they are worth approximately 3 times as much as Shahid Khan ($2.14 billion).
4. The NFL ownership booth is one of the most exclusive clubs around. It is a consummate old-boys' network. Kroenke is much more their type of guy than Khan.

What is my take on the situation?

On the one hand, I would have been shocked if Kroenke hadn't exercised his right to purchase the rest of the Rams. My memory fails, but I remember Kroenke buying into the Rams back in 1993 or 1994, when the Rams were having serious financial trouble keeping up with the Joneses {Jerry Jones and Eddie DeBartolo}. It was understood at the time that he wanted to buy the whole enchilada. This was the reason for the contractual right of first refusal he has chosen to exercise now. Ever since then, Kroenke has been waiting on line to buy the Rams.

Why didn't he just attempt to buy outright? One word: Strategy. He wanted the market to set a low price in accordance with the financial distress our nation is going through at the moment. There is also the cross-ownership rule which needs to be gotten around. Kroenke wanted to see what sort of ownership interest the Rams might scratch up, and see whether the owner's club might prefer Kroenke to own the Rams.

Will this blow up in his face? I seriously doubt a man of Kroenke's sense would have exercised his right of first refusal if he had not been given some indications, if not outright assurances, that the NFL would hear his case with favor. I think he is confident that he will be approved, or he would not have made this move.

Now the fight with Khan.

If the league rejects Khan and elects Kroenke, the move could be interpreted in racial terms. Would this be a case where collection of white Europeans just didn't want a Pakistani fellow in the clubhouse? This could make for some very interesting league wrangling inside league circles. Pray for the good of the Rams that this doesn't happen. This could hold the Rams' ownership status in limbo for several years. This could make for several years of lost franchise history.

Battening down the hatches for a very rough 2010

Far from re-energized and full of hope, I as a Ram fan am already packing it in for the 2010 season. I have zero confidence in the direction Devaney has decided to go. I believe the current plan is fucking bollocks, mate.

We are going to continue with Pat Shurmer and the out-dated and out-moded WCO. We are not going to upgrade our offensive line. We are going to invest $60 million (a black-hole contract) in a frail passer who will not be protected. I doubt we will give him quality targets to throw to.

I am taking over/under action for the number of games played before Sam Bradford suffers a season ending injury in 2010. That number shall be 3. Place your over/under bets, if you please.

For all the asshole prognosticators out there who claim that the NFL is all about marketing, and marketing on the star system, I would like to ask you the following question: How energized and hopeful will the Rams' fan base be when Sam Bradford is carted off on week 3 of the 2010 season? You don't build a team via the Sonny Werblin star system. You build it like a skyscraper. Foundation first, top ornaments later.

You may complain that the Rams line is not that bad. I tell you you know nothing about the subject. The Rams permitted 44 sacks last year. The Rams are a run-dominated team. The worst in league was Green Bay who permitted 51. This is a very pass-oriented team. The best pass-protecting team in the league in 2009 was the Colts. They allowed just 13 sacks. You will hardly find a more pass-happy team than the Colts.

Good teams allow 20 or fewer sacks. The Rams allowed more than twice that. We have a shitty offensive line.

You may complain that injuries are a freak occurrences that no one can predict. Bullshit! Bull fucking shit! A quarterback's risk of injury increases geometrically with the poverty of his line. When you taken an older or more injury prone QB and put him behind a poor line, the results are entirely predictable. You know what is going to happen. No one should ever knowingly walk into a tiger pit like that.

Worst of all, by failing to draft Ndamukong Suh, we may create circumstances in which both Chris Long and Adam Carriker fail rather than thrive and prosper. If we draft Suh, and stash him between these other two picks, I am more than certain that all three will prosper together. Idiots! Idiots man! I cannot fathom the idiots running my team. Shocking!

I just hope that Shahid Khan and Stan Kroenke are reading my blog. When you fire Billy Devaney and Steve Spagnuolo in couple of years, please consider me for a front office position. I would love to be the next GM of the Rams. We won't knowingly walk into bear traps if I am the GM. I will help you to regain a foothold in Los Angeles also.

Keep your eyes on Tebow. If he succeeds, just remember I told you so. Remember also that we could have had both Suh and Tebow if I had been the boss. We might have come up with an O-Line in 2010 also.

I hope I am wrong about this, but I am about 80-85% confident that my team is about to commit a series of blunders for the ages.

Rather than improvement, I think we are about to see the Rams match the Lions' winless record of two years ago. The new owner will be compelled to make sweeping changes.

Jim Plunkett 2.0 edition. It's now a lost cause...

So, I read a blurb indicating that something on the order of 99% of the 140 published Mock drafts have Sam Bradford going #1 overall to the Rams. Whilst the draft is not a democracy, many of these mocks are written by reliable snoops who are acquiring insider words and leaks. They accord with what the "prescriptive experts" believe the Rams should do.

The only real chance for the Rams avoiding--what I consider to be--a mistake is for Tom Condon to bust the deal. If he demands a 20% premium over Matt Stafford's contract, and some say he will do precisely this, the Rams may pass. We need to remember the Rams are a football team with cash-flow problems in the middle of a franchise sale. It may be very difficult for the Rams to pony-up that grip full of scratch.

So why am I against this selection. I have stated why I am against this selection many times. I will do so again:

1. Our offensive line is worth shit. We gave up 44 sacks last season and we were one of the most run dominated teams in the league. We threw for only about 175 yards per game. The best pass-protecting team in the league is the Colts. They surrendered only 13 sacks and they are one of the most pass dominated teams in the league. The worst pass protecting team in the league is the Packers. They surrendered 51 sacks--just 4 more than we did. They are a pass-dominated offense. Arguably, we have the worst pass protecting offensive line in the league.
2. Sam Bradford is a QB with a track record of injuries. Look at the Heisman photos which show him hoisting his prize with a cast on his left hand. Witness the photos of the giant ice pack on his shoulder. Witness the many interviews and and inquiries done with his doctor: James R. Andrews.
3. You put them both together and you have bad karma. This is the making of the Jim Plunkett 2.0 story.

Why the comparison with Plunkett? There are many.

1. When Plunkett was drafted in 1971, he was acclaimed as one of the best and most accurate passers in NCAA history. So too is it with Sam Bradford.
2. Everyone marveled at Plunkett's beautiful throwing mechanics, and his pretty spirals. So too is it with Sam Bradford.
3. Plunkett was a Heisman trophy winner. So too is it with Sam Bradford.
4. Plunkett came from a program not renown for producing NFL quarterbacks. So too is it with Sam Bradford.
5. Plunkett was selected #1 over-all in the NFL Draft by a team with a horrid offensive line. We won't know until April 22, 2010, but it sure looks like it is going to turn out that way for Bradford.
6. To the best of my knowledge, Sam Bradford will be just the second major name NFL QB of Native American stock. Guess who the first was? Jim Plunkett.
7. Plunkett started out extremely well with the Patriots, even winning the rookie of the year. He was soon cut down by one terrible injury after another. He was traded to the destitute 49ers, where things got worse. He was claimed off waivers by the Raiders. After two years rest, he took his position behind one of the greatest offensive lines in NFL history. He detonated, and the Raiders won the Super Bowl.

We won't know for some time, but I have a sinking feeling that this is the way the Sam Bradford story may yet turn out. As the man said in Aliens, "I have a bad feeling about this drop."

If our GM Billy Devaney were anything shy of delusional about the current status of our offensive line, I might have a bit more hope. If we had more than a single #2 receiver, I might have a bit more hope. If we had a good Spread-oriented offensive coordinator, not Shurmer, I might have more hope. If we would fire Shurmer and hire Mike Leach, I might have more hope.

None of this appears to be the case. As far as I can tell, we are going to march into 2010 in the following manner:

1. Draft Bradford #1 overall
2. Give him a $60 million over 4 year black-hole contract.
3. Continue with Pat Shurmer, and stick with the West Coast Offense.
4. Not sign Bobby Williams or Flozell Adams.
5. Leave the O-line upgrade up to Hank Fraley... oh bouy...
6. Maybe draft a receiver or two. Probably nobody you've heard of.
7. Not make the deal for Brandon Marshall

I have a bad feeling about this drop.