Monday, November 22, 2010

Die Coaches! DIE!

So today is the first day of Sagittarius season, and we find a bunch of coaches on the hot seat or in flames. Sagittarius is the 3rd and final fire sign of the Zodiac. Scorpio was shake out season, and now comes the fire.

Wade Phillips was the first to go in the 2010 season, and Brad Childress has become the second. Rumor has it that John Fox and Mike Singletary are in a foot race to determine who #3 and #4 will be. That ain't all. Gary Kubiak and Josh McDaniels are suffering from 1st degree burns on their arses. The we have Norv Turner in San Diego...

Either Norv Turner or Josh McDaniels will finish this evening's game with strong 2nd degree burns on his arse. They should call this Monday Night matchup "The Hotseat Bowl". Kinda like sitting on the throne after eatting pile of Chili peppers, it's going to burn when the truth comes out. If Norv-ember continues, that will be McDaniels . If it doesn't Norv will need a shot of Norv-icane to kill the burning sensation.

Awe... it's hard out here for a pimp.

I am talking about a Holicost of the coaches. 7 of the 32 coaches we began 2010 with are in heaps of trouble. Two have already been fired in-season. More are likely to follow. More will be fired at the end of the year.

For my money, the most inexplicable of these cases is Mike Singletary, followed by Gary Kubiak. We all conviced--fan and foe alike--that the 49ers would enjoy a cup-cake walk to the NFC West title in 2010.

Well, a funny thing happened... The 49ers have been competitive in many games, but they have also been blown out several times. Yesterday, they were shutout and blown out by Tampa. Some say that was the final straw.

Rumor has it that the York family is currently mulling over it's options... I happen to know that they don't have anybody left on staff who can run that rabble if they fire Singletary. Ergo, it would be a very bad move to fire him in-season.

Then again, the York family is directly responsible for a long sequence of bad decisions that ruined the once proud 49er franchise. It would not be out of character for them to do something stupid.

John Fox is coaching one of the least talented and most injured teams in the league. Their real problem is an absolute fucking idiot of a GM who continues to turn 1st round picks into 2nd round picks, and 2nd rounders into 3rd rounders. That is a magic trick and fool can do, but why would you want too? Of course he only performs these tricks after extending the contracts of QBs he will soon release anyhow. He only does that when he isn't busy allowing franchise players like Julias Peppers to get away without any compensation. Cock sucker...

Unfortunately, John Fox is going to pay the ultimate price for all of this GM folly. Oh well, life's a bitch and then you die. Sometimes you get a raw deal.

You know, for every case of a failing coach, there seems to be a GM who is worse. Is Norv Turner the problem, or is it A.J. Smith? Is Josh McDaniels the problem or is it Brian Xanders? Just what is the case?

Let's not forget about Ken Weisenhunt, whose Arizona Cardinals are experiencing a catastrophic collapse this season... Now there are even some rumblings surrounding Jeff Fisher in the Music City!

We may see a 25% turnover in head coaches between 2010 and 2011.